Dangerous Hero Addict Support Group discussion
Question of the Week
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Would you really want to live with a Dangerous Hero?
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Paganalexandria **wicked juices bubbling over** wrote:"For me the biggest negative take away reading so much sexually explicit material so young gave, was a completely unrealistic view of sex. I expected to be skyrockets, epic, and way more enjoyable in the beginning from the impression garnered from my bodice rippers. I remember feeling..."same here.
i would definitely dream of having an alpha in my life.. :)
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Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal
(last edited Feb 05, 2014 04:23PM)
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I agree that sexually explicit material shouldn't be marketed towards teens though.
April wrote: "I guess since I didn't start reading these types of books until recently, I already knew what to expect from an adult sexual relationship and didn't think it would be like what we read about. Howe..."LOL@April..... I once highlighted a favorite scene in a book for my husband and his response was, "If i do this to you, you'll pop out a hip!!!" LOL! Oh, well!! But, I hear ya!
I remember when I first started reading the romance novels as a teenager I thought cool I can find a guy who looks and acts just like the main character. Then when I found out men don't look like or act like the heroes it was a major let down. I started dating the bad boy in my senior yr high school and found out the hard way he was an unfeeling jerk. My husband of 11 years is a wonderful man and a Marine so he's my real life hero but I still love the books bc the fantasy heroes are just too yummy to give up. It's just a matter if knowing what's real and what isn't and if parents don't teach their children what's ok and what's not ok for a relationship and to also know what their kids are reading so they can talk about it
My mother was awesome when it came to discussing the books I read. I remember when the Exorcist was first published I was in my teens (70's) and she saw I had brought this book home to read from the library. She said she needed to read it first before allowing me to read it so she sat up all night to read it. The next day, she sat me down to discuss it and made the rules: only read when she was home; no reading it at night; discuss the book with her as I read each chapter. Then we did a bible study about Jesus. We laugh about it now but I will always be grateful for the care she took with with and the fact that she did not stifle me. She didn't do that with each book but she always paid attention to what I reading and often borrowed my books.....happy memory...
Teen wrote: "My mother was awesome when it came to discussing the books I read. I remember when the Exorcist was first published I was in my teens (70's) and she saw I had brought this book home to read from t..."What a smart mom! I wish I had been so thoughtful.
Jillian wrote: "I know as a young reader, I read both YA novels like Twilight, and adult romances, and I always found the heroes, especially ones that were possessive, controlling, demanding, over protective, ect,..."Jillian, years ago i took a class on domestic abuse, and most people do not initially identify the relationship as abusive... it usually starts as small things and progresses.
I find it unlikely for that most young adults are basing their romantic ideals on romance novels and movies. But, there are the exceptions. As a parent I do think it is important to monitor what your child reads, and even if they want to read something that may be to mature for them (within limits) reading it along with them so you can open some discussion on the content.
April... LOL!!
No, I don't think I would. I wouldn't want my man going off on adventures and daring escapades while I sat at home. He better be taking me with him. And the controlling stuff would not go over well either, lol.On the early romance reading subject, I started reading historical romances at about 14, right when I was getting at that desperate for a boyfriend stage, and I do have to say they shaped my ideas of romance a bit. I kept waiting for a guy to make all the moves, do all the initiating and sweeping me away and stuff. Because in the books I was reading, that's how it went. The shy virgin just sits back and looks pretty and the dangerous lord comes and kisses her and seduces her and all that stuff. Ha! Lost two different boyfriends because I never made any moves, never did any of the 'seducing', so they thought I was a prude. If only they'd known I was just waiting for them to man up, lol, but they were just boys. So yea, for better or worse, romance did shape my young opinions xD
I definitely had unrealistic expectations, to the point where I almost directly told my first boyfriend he wasn't doing a good job :P Definitely felt horrible after that one, but it really was my first experience. I didn't have the kind of relationship where I could talk to my mom about it, and I didn't want to. I wanted her to maintain this façade of innocence about me, So I really did get all my information from novels, which created unrealistic expectations. However, I wouldn't say that explicit sex in novels caused mental damage to me, or really damaged relationships for me; if anything it just made me more aware and careful. In a way I think it's almost healthy for young girls (not like elementary school or middle school) to receive some kind of awareness. I think it would be healthier for them to receive an experience from a novel rather than trying to go out and receive it in real life without any knowledge about it. In this way, I think YA novels embracing female sexuality could be helpful. Sorry kind of rambled a bit, but does that make sense?
Question of the week pretty much invites rambling--yes? lol. I enjoy the variety of thoughts!
LOL