Welcome/introductions.

[Garrett Cook]

I don't remember you being a little blackish brown orb. It's an interesting look, but you should at least put on some shades or something. Or a beanie.

[Jordan]

or a beanie baby.

[Garrett Cook]

Christy wrote: "Hello Eric Mays, I love your last name."
Baseball, Oxyclean. What's not to love?

[Christy]

Don't forget cocaine.

[Kevin]

Hey, Bizarros,

Christy, thanks for the heads-up at Bizarro Central.

I'm Kevin Shamel. My book, Rotten Little Animals, came out in October with the other first New Bizarro Author Books.

I'm currently writing a YA bizarro vampire novel entitled, Garrett Cook, Teenage Vampire Lover (a-HEM, Jordan).

Happy to be here.

[Jordan]

A-HEM yourself, Kevin. I own the copyright on the character of Garrett Cook so don't even bother trying to get your "novel" published. Oh, and by the way, I also own the character of Kevin Shamel.

Coming soon: Kevin Shamel, Beardless Vampire Kisser

[Kevin]

I forgot about selling that. You kept feeding me those Sidecars... "C'mon, Kevin, just one more drink." I woke up with you tying my shoes, humming that happy song, telling me about all I'd signed away the night before... Curse you, Jordan Krall, you squid-smelling man.

[Jordan]

Business is business. I became a bizarro writer to make MONEY.

[Kevin]

I know. You said that the next day, too.

"I didn't slip you those drugs to make friends, Kevin."

[Christy]

I'll be the first buyer of both those books.

[Kevin]

You're talking about the Vampire books that have nothing to do with me being beardless or me at all, right, Christy?

Because with the Garrett Cook YA idea, we COULD just combine it. First he fights them, then he loves them.

[Christy]

Yes and make it a series, take a lesson from Twilight.

[Garrett Cook]

Kevin wrote: "You're talking about the Vampire books that have nothing to do with me being beardless or me at all, right, Christy?

Because with the Garrett Cook YA idea, we COULD just combine it. First he fig..."

Either way, they're going to be impaled to death. I also want you two gents to know that using some of his Victorian theater poster royalties, my beard Aubrey Beardsley bought the rights to both of your beards. I'm putting them in a buddy cop show. John Saxon plays the uptight captain who will have their badge even if it kills him. Chuck Norris Beard's love interest will be played by Lonnie Anderson. Jordan's beard has no time for attachments to women.

[Jordan]

Can my beard have some sort of weird fetish?

and can my beard also end up punching John Saxon in the face?

[Garrett Cook]

Yes. It's in love with John Saxon's pubes. And therefore in conflict because Saxon pisses him off so much.

[Christy]

Don't mind me, but does anyone know how the fuck to play gin?

I can't....do........it.........motherfuck.

[Garrett Cook]

If I'm not mistaken, you and your opponent each pick up a hammer and hit one another. Whenever somebody bleeds, you have to either take off an article of clothing or take a drink of gin. When this is done, you scream "GIN!" at the top of your lungs. It's a terrible game.

[Christy]

Do you at least know what having deadwood is?

NO penis jokes.

[Garrett Cook]

Yes, possession of HBO's Western drama.

[Christy]

Because of you, I'm the worst gin player on Pogo.

[Zombie]

hey my names kevin everyone calls me zombie please feel free to do so aswell:) im a rave promoter/dj from ct. i started reading bizarro fiction when i found Carlton Mellick III's book the electric jesus corpse on amazon. i didn't i then started to buy his books one by one untill i found the bizarro starter kit. i have not had a chance to buy anymore books as of late in bizarro fiction do to a bunch of new zombie releases but i do plan on it very soon. done being boring point is hey my name is zombie nice to meet all of you:)

[Garrett Cook]

Nice to meet you zombie. If you like the shambling dead, you should check out some of Andre Duza's books.

[Christy]

How did you get the name Zombie?

[Zombie]

Christy wrote: "How did you get the name Zombie?"
my long standing love for the dead mostly. over a year ago i had the word ZOMBIE tattooed on my right wrist and now thats how everyone knows me and what everyone calls me.

[Zombie]

Garrett wrote: "Nice to meet you zombie. If you like the shambling dead, you should check out some of Andre Duza's books. "thanks ill make sure to do that!

[Christy]

Zombie wrote: "my long standing love for the dead mostly. over a year ago i had the word ZOMBIE tattooed on my right wrist and now thats how everyone knows me and what everyone calls me."

You into necrophilia?

[Garrett Cook]

Yes.

[Garrett Cook]

Oh, were you talking to him...NINJA SMOKE BOMB!

[♥ Rachel♥]

Don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant ;)

[David]

Been a while since my last post... jeez.

Anyway, I'm David W Barbee, author of Carnageland, released through the New Bizarro Author Series

[Christy]

Hello there

[Zombie]

Christy wrote: "Zombie wrote: "my long standing love for the dead mostly. over a year ago i had the word ZOMBIE tattooed on my right wrist and now thats how everyone knows me and what everyone calls me."

You in..."
playing dead yes.playing with the dead not so much. but i hav ebeen know to add it into my stories that are on the more well bizarro side.

[April]

Hi, my name's Apryl and I'm a member of the paranormal fiction group too. I don't know exactly what Bizzaro is but would Brom count as well or Neil Gaiman's Coraline?? I like bizzare things, so can anyone reccomend a good bizzaro book for someone who's never read bizzaro fiction before??

[Christy]

Those are more new-weird, but I'm not judge lol

I suggest you just look in the shelves we have here and try something that appeals to you. There are starter kit books; but I suggest you follow your heart.

Welcome, by the way, happy to have you!

[Garrett Cook]

Good advice, Christy. Look at what Bizarro is out there, look at what you like and think about what you'd like to see more of in fiction. If you feel horror falls flat because it's too familiar, check out some horrortinged Bizarro, if you think Westerns need more kinky sex, read Fistful of Feet, if you like outlandish,provocative humor check out Mykle Hansen's work. If you like geniuses, check out my work.

[Kelly]

Hi all,
I'm Kelly, I'm from Australia and I've just discovered the genre of Bizarro through hunting around Goodreads. Which I only joined a few days ago.
About to embark on my first bizarro read, stayed tuned for horrified reaction...

[Christy]

lol Well, I look forward to that.

Welcome Kelly!

[Garrett Cook]

Welcome aboard, Kelly! Bizarroloving Australians should check out www.legumeman.com. Legumeman is an Australian Bizarro/Experimental horror press that does some cool edgy stuff. Like my book Archelon Ranch.

[Kelly]

Waiting on my Bizarro Starter Kit: Orange to come in the mail along with Satan Burger.
Will check out this legumeman...and i love being labelled a "bizarro loving australian" it has such a good ring to it

[Garrett Cook]

Also, to everybody here who doesn't know about it. Free downloadable Bizarro and experimental stories of a carnivalized humorous nature here:
www.absurdistjournal.com

[Matthew]

I don't know if I've introduced myself yet. If I'm not sure, I'm nothing.

[Christy]

Hi nothing

[Nicole]

Nicole Cushing. Heifer First Class. Reporting for duty! *salute*

[Christy]

Welcome, welcome!

[Brett]

Jeremy wrote: "I'm Jeremy C. Shipp, and you can call me Jerbear, if you like. My books include Vacation, Sheep and Wolves, and Cursed. And my short stories have appeared or are forthcoming in publications like ..."

Oh crap! Jeremy! I owe you a review on the book you sent me a while back. A long while. My bad.

Now I slink off to find my notes...

[Auntie]

I suppose I should introduce myself...I'm Raye & I'm a hot dog.

[Christy]

Delicious

[Auntie]

Thank you! I always thought I was tasty for being processed meat.

[Jill]

Ok, I guess it's time to stop being shy and say hello.

Hello.

I'm sort of new to the Bizarro genre, but I'm looking to change that.
I've read Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk and am currently in the middle of Adolf In Wonderland by CM3. I also have The Faggiest Vampire and The Cannibals of Candyland waiting for me :)
I am also relatively new to Goodreads and am finding it to be quite addictive. I have seen about 1048650230395 (give or take a few) books I want to read.

I also like music, horror movies, shenanigans, and kittens.

[Christy]

Hello there Jill! Let's be friends.