Welcome/introductions.

[Jade]

My name is Jade (duh). I love all kinds of books, but by far bizarro is my favorite genre. I would love to say that I have the ability to write it, but I sadly run much more towards the traditional.
You may find that I am a horrible moderator due to working full time and running after two kids all the time. I will try to not suck. I promise.

[S.T.]

Hi, I'm Stephen Gulik. I write Bizarro novels. Here's a little about myself:

I was born within the walls of an Irish castle on October 21, 1681. The master of the house was a mister Edmond DeSwitch who had a keen interest in the art of alchemy. Though a complete failure in every aspect of his work, his incessant fumbling with God's video game led to severe consequences for all who surrounded them. Mutations of mind and body were not altogether uncommon in this household, which ultimately resulted in my departure at the tender age of one. Having left my thousands of brothers and sisters behind, I traveled the world in search of wisdom and new forms of mayonnaise. As I have always lived in the shadow of emphatic irony I found my next home within of the walls at the base of the Australian Illuminati. For many years, I inadvertently soaked up millions of memes of above average information which further mutated my consciousness creating an intellectual wanderlust which eventually drove me to Great Britain where I found an odd sect of apple obsessed chaos worshipers. Within their temple walls my third eye opened, revealing the goddess in all her majesty I found myself face to face with the goddess Eris who, finding me cute and less annoying than her other saints, sainted me on the spot and introduced me to her good friend Timothy Leary. Timothy in turn introduced me to an electric cheeseburger who eventually talked me into taking over the mind of Ronald Regan and forcing him to run for president. In the body of the Gipper, I became hooked on crack and completely screwed the U.S.A. condemning it to hundreds of years of masochistic frivolity. I looked upon my creation and saw that it was good. However, since my importing of crack had completely buggered the lower class, I began to feel guilty. So I did the only sensible thing. I abandoned the president's body and dedicated my life to making sure that broccoli will never again seize the reigns of the world. For those of you who are not personally familiar with my dear friend Eris I must say that her reputation as a trickster is not overstated. She enlightened me but, being the goddess of chaos, it was only to be expected that she would play a trick. One night she left me without a trace. That morning when I awoke I found that I was missing two appendages and that I had gone all squishy and pale in addition to a considerable increase in size. I searched for many years for a way to heal my wounds. Luckily, one day I bumped into the electric cheeseburger at a dive bar on the outskirts of Birmingham, Alabama. I regaled him with my story and he was very sympathetic. Apparently, he hadn’t always been an electric cheeseburger. As it happened, he had also been searching for a way to return his form to it’s previous glory and only recently found a solution. Sadly, the price of that transformation was much too great for his moralistic outlook. It seemed that only large scale human sacrifice would release the power necessary to get me into that level of cosmic swap meet. Having already been the president my hands were already stained with the blood of countless innocents. Nevertheless, murder for personal gain is always wrong. You should only kill for fun or revenge. Otherwise you’re a jerk and no better than a soccer mom who drives a hummer. I was still pondering the best course of action when I happened upon a family named Bush, who regularly indulged in mass murder but only for the sake of monetary gain. All that potential energy was just going to waste so I did some things I can’t talk about for obvious reasons and eventually gained the power to transcend life and death. I am now able to manipulate my physical form at will and travel through all fifty six dimensions. Having achieved this, I ate a taco. I wrote my first book "Muffy: or a Transmigration of Selves" in 1999 and subsequently misplaced it. This novel was followed by several screenplays which have also been lost. Recently I discovered "Muffy" hiding in a shoe box in my closet labeled Salvador Dali's Rhenquist. I took that as a sign from Eris to finally unleash it upon the world. And so I did. I encourage everyone to buy at least ten copies and then pile them in the middle of your living room. After that you should strip naked, douse them with gasoline, set them on fire, and dance around them naked while spinning your arms widdershins until your entire home is reduced to ash around you. When you are finished, look up. If you see a multitude of shiny nacho-like creatures flying around your head you have achieved the desired effect. Your consciousness has been successfully transformed. You're welcome.





You can find me on Myspace here: http://www.myspace.com/stephengulik

[Bradley]

Maybe there would be more members if the group was called Bizarro Fiction? Any way to change the name?

[Jade]

Bah. Logic.
I don't know if there's a way to. I'll go check that.
I swear that I'm probably the worst moderator too, but oh well.
I do what I can.

[Bradley]

Awesome. Thanks.

[Jade]

De nada. It ended up being remarkably easy.

[Jordan]

Hey everyone!


S.T Gulik..... I think you should shorten your bio. Maybe take out the fake stuff :)

[Bob]

Hey everyone. You know my name, and the rest is on my profile. I am new to goodreads and I look forward to some interaction. Good reading to you all.

[Gretchen]

Hi. You can call me Naos. It's not my real name but my parents have made me neurotic about internet safety.
I'm here mainly since I think I'm writing bizarro fiction. I have yet to actually read any.

[Victoria]

You should read Punk Land by Carlton Mellick III, such a great bizzaro book. Check it out!

[Gretchen]

Thank you Victoria. I was going to start with one of the Starter kits and work my way up from there.

[Victoria]

Good idea, but then again I don't think any way would be a bad way to start because they're all so different and imaginative you can't really go wrong.

[Steve]

hello all. Im new to the whole Bizzaro Fiction. Im starting off my reading the starter kit and I got my hands on Jack and Mr. Grin by Anderson Pruntny. Anyway, Im always looking for something diffrent to read and am open to any suggestions.

[Emory]

I'm the Pueschel. I write Bizarro. I make the distinction between authors and writers because authors are published, I'm not. Join us at the Bizarro Central Forum (http://www.bizarrocentral.com/forum) for all things Bizarro, not Bizarro, and everything in between. I'll stop rambling now.

[David]

Howdy. I'm David W. Barbee, and I write weird stories that don't fit any category known to man. Therefore, they are BIZARRO, so that makes me a bizarro author, i guess. Make sure to check out my first novel, THE SUPERIOR. I'm currently working on lots of bizarro short stories and my second novel. Good to know you guys.

[Lotus]

And I'm Lotus Rose, a writer. I have a bizarro book coming out soon called Machoponi. I write things that are in a messed-up cartoonish style. I just joined goodreads. It's good to be here. :)

[Andersen]

Hello. My name is Andersen Prunty. Most people call me Andy because it's shorter. I write stuff. Mostly bizarro stuff. I'm into blood sacrifice and leather...

Steve- it's cool to see you picked up a copy of Jack and Mr. Grin. Let me know what you think when you get a chance to read it.

[Jeff]

Hey all, its a little late but I still thought I should do an intro.

I'm Jeff Burk. I am the Editor-In-Chief of "The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction" and the author of "Shatnerquake" which comes out in April from Eraserhead Press.

[Christy]

Hello, my name is Christy. I'm un-memorable.

[Jeremy]

I'm Jeremy C. Shipp, and you can call me Jerbear, if you like. My books include Vacation, Sheep and Wolves, and Cursed. And my short stories have appeared or are forthcoming in publications like Cemetery Dance, Apex Magazine, Brain Harvest, and The Bizarro Starter Kit (blue). I like yard gnomes and coconut monkeys. :)

[Garrett Cook]

I have this awful tendency not to introduce myself. I'm Garrett Cook author of Murderland Part 1:H8 and the (soon) forthcoming Murderland Part 2:Life During Wartime and Archelon Ranch. I'm also very excited about my book Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective from Eraserhead. If you want to know more, check out my blog:
http://thegarrettcook.blogspot.com

[Christy]

Hello Garrett, your picture is adorable.

[Garrett Cook]

Thank you. I have to go somewhere black and white sometime so I can look that good.

[Colleen]

I'm Colleen and I love horror and bizarro fiction. So far my favorite bizarro authors are Jeremy Shipp and Gina Ranalli.

[Christy]

Garrett wrote: "Thank you. I have to go somewhere black and white sometime so I can look that good. "

I'll bring you with me on my next trip to Collinwood.

[Garrett Cook]

I hear Johnathan Frid makes a mean hobo chili.

[Christy]

We'll be lucky if the poor guy hasn't become the hobo chili at this point.

[♥ Rachel♥]

I'm Rachel and probably the only non-writer in the whole group...also the only kid....

[Darleine]

Im not a writer, i do like writing, but i don't write much. IM A KID TOO RACHEL. WELL A TEEN THAT IS.

[♥ Rachel♥]

Cool. (I'm 13, by the way. So I'm younger than you. But thanks for trying)

[Christy]

I'm hardly literate, so you've got me beat on that angle, Rachel. I'm 10 years older than you though.

I could be your mother if this was a Lifetime movie.

[Jordan]

I might as well reintroduce myself. I'm Jordan Krall, author of PIECEMEAL JUNE, SQUID PULP BLUES, and FISTFUL OF FEET... all from Eraserhead Press.

I love hearing from readers so write me if you're bored. And yes, Garrett, that means you too.

[Christy]

I think the only male members here are the authors.

You all need to keep your audience in mind; more vampire tween romances.

[Jordan]

I'll get right on that.

My next book will be Garrett Cook, Teenage Vampire Hunter.

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

Hi, I'm Danielle. I got invited here by Christy (Thanks, Christy). I don't really know that much about the bizarro genre. However, I do love speculative fiction that doesn't fit into any concrete genre. I do have to admit I'm not a big fan of shock value for no reason. I imagine that bizarro fiction does not have to go in that direction. I think the idea of a bizarro romance novel is kind of interesting. I love to write, and I have feeling some of my stories will have trouble selling because they don't fit the mode of what publishers seem to want to sell right now. I like to write edgy, contemporary romantic stories with action and some violence, and antiheroic characters. Those are probably hard to sell, especially since they don't push sexual boundaries (which is a good way to get published nowadays). I'm not saying I have the publshing markets figured out. Just my observations from being a big reader and some light research I've done. Oh, I'd love to write occult detective and supernatural fiction with a pulp fiction of the 1930s and 40s sensibility, but multicultural and ethnically aware. I've noticed the old pulp spec fiction can tend to be very racist, xenophobic, and bigoted.

[Jordan]

Hi Danielle!
There's room for lots of different types of bizarro fiction... romance included.

You should pick up both Bizarro Starter Kits. They are chock full of novellas and stories that'll give a good representation of what the genre is about.

A modern occult detective pulp fiction sounds good. Keep us updated on that.

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

Thanks for the welcome, Jordan. :)

[Christy]

Thanks for joining Danielle! Your joining means the group has some validity behind it, you're only at the best places lol

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

How nice of you to say so, Christy. This group is very valid. I'm not sure I'm hundred percent tough enough for bizarro lit in all it's incarnations, but I'll give it the college try. Thanks again for the invite. :)

[Garrett Cook]

Jordan wrote: "I'll get right on that.

My next book will be Garrett Cook, Teenage Vampire Hunter."

Good, I love killing teenage vampires. Especially ones who looked like girls who wouldn't talk to me in high school. And I think it's safe to assume most teenagers are vampires.

[Christy]

Did you go to prom?

[Garrett Cook]

I did. I went to both of them. For senior prom I modeled my outfit after Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula. (Not the bathrobe and wig, the cool one. Still, pardon me for saying so, Rachel, but teenager girls are worse than cancer. I'm sure you're one of seven or eight exceptions that rule and probably not a vampire.

[Christy]

You are the first person I asked who said yes!

Who did you go with?

[Jeff]

Since we are doing re-introductions,

I'm Jeff Burk. I'm the editor-in-chief of "The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction."

I'm also the author of Shatnerquake.

It's nice to see things getting active around here.

Danielle - If you are looking for Bizarro Romance I would recommend:
House of House by Kevin L. Donihe - a bit on the darker end, but the touching story of a man who loves his house.
Zerostrata by Andersen Prunty - a romance as directed by Terry Gilliam.

[Christy]

Hey Jeff, I just ordered your book a feww days ago.

[Garrett Cook]

Hi, Jeff, thanks for dropping in. I go to your forum too.

[♥ Rachel♥]

Garrett wrote: "I did. I went to both of them. For senior prom I modeled my outfit after Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula. (Not the bathrobe and wig, the cool one. Still, pardon me for saying so, Rachel, but t..."

Awww, thanks.

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

Jeff wrote: "Since we are doing re-introductions,

I'm Jeff Burk. I'm the editor-in-chief of "The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction."

I'm also the author of Shatnerquake.

It's nice to see things getting active aro..."

--Thanks for the recommendations, Jeff.

[Ericmays]

Cool! I'm going to cease to be a morlock and get involved. I'm Eric Mays and I'm the author of "Naked Metamorphosis", Shakespearean Bizarro (bizarro comes in all flavors).
I'm happy to be here with you crazy kids.

[Christy]

Hello Eric Mays, I love your last name.