[F2F Book Discussions] February 2014: What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: Stories by Raymond Carver [Genre: Short Stories] | Moderator: Monique

[Tin]

Week 4 Answers
(view spoiler)[
The Calm
(view spoiler)[I don’t think I have one. Probably because I usually read, or listen to my mp3 player, or I get too engrossed on whatever they have playing on the mounted tv. (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
(view spoiler)[Honey, I Want the Kid. Part Four of the “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” movie franchise. Hahaha. (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
(view spoiler)[If it’s by choice, I think I hold the conservative view. I’d probably advise them to hold off marriage/starting a family. To enjoy being sweethearts for awhile. If it’s accidental, I don’t know. It would be great if they could make it work. Like, be responsible and put in every effort in making a really good life as a family. Although, I do know that this isn’t as easy as it sounds. (hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
(view spoiler)[ I don’t know. Hahaha. I need clarification on the meaning of “Love is an absolute.” Eto, kwestion: If I understood correctly, when they were talking about Terri’s abusive ex boyfriend, To Mel, hitting someone is not love. So to him love is absolute. It’s like it’s true to everybody that killing/hitting is not love.? But when they asked Nick’s opinion on it, the latter asked for the particulars. Which means that to him, love is personal, different from one couple and another? So the hitting could be love, just not to Nick and Laura? (hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
(view spoiler)[I usually want to have the last word. I make singgit statements, that I know are irrational and/or pointless, just to annoy the person I’m arguing with. Masama. Nyahaha. (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Meliza]

Week 4

(view spoiler)[
The Calm
(view spoiler)[I can't remember any. Hehe. I usually read magazines or bring a book or play games on my phone. (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
(view spoiler)["Call for the Judgment of Solomon"... Haha. (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
(view spoiler)[I'm not against young couples starting a family but I believe they should think about their decisions further and their parents should support them in their decision. (hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
(view spoiler)[I agree. Why? Same as Angus... :) (hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
(view spoiler)[When having a heated argument with someone, I usually wish to have the last word especially if I really believe I am right. I usually counterattack the things the other person would say. But having a heated argument seldom happens so... :) (hide spoiler)]
(hide spoiler)]

[Gwaxa]

WEEK 4

(view spoiler)[

The Calm
(view spoiler)[
- I can't remember anything interesting I've (over)heard while in the salon. I always bring my phone and just read so I'm usually oblivious to what's happening around me. :) (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
(view spoiler)[
- Chop-Chop Baby. I imagine the baby being torn in two because of that nasty tug-of-war. :( (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
(view spoiler)[
- By choice, I believe they should enjoy the relationship as a couple first.
By accident, I'd say, "Andyan na yan. Just do your best and God will do the rest."
(hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
(view spoiler)[
- Yes, I do. You love him/her, warts and all. You give your everything, selflessly. I guess what I'm trying to say is what Angus already said. Gayahin ko na lang. Lol.
(hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
(view spoiler)[
- I'm the former. Even if it's absolute nonsense, I still have to have the last word. Haha. (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Lynai]

WEEK 4 QUESTIONS

(view spoiler)[

The Calm
The story takes place inside a barbershop. Tell us about the most interesting story you've (over)heard while in the barber's/salon. :)

(view spoiler)[I can't recall any except the gay lingo conversations between gay hairdressers which I always enjoy listening to (and figuring out what they mean) (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
Husband and wife play a nasty tug-of-war over their baby. Try to give an alternative title to this story.

(view spoiler)[ This is my least favorite story in the collection.My title: I Truly Hate This Story (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
The main characters in this story are an 18-year-old father and a 16-year-old mother. What is your take on couples who start families of their own at an early age (whether accidentally or by choice)?

(view spoiler)[Funny that my most hated story is followed by my most favorite story.

To answer the question, if accidentally, I'd shake my head and wonder how they're going to manage. For me,parenthood and having a family requires maturity and preparedness financially, physically, emotionally, and I believe being young will have more disadvantages than advantages on this aspect. If by choice, who am I to judge? It's their choice, so whatever happens, they have themselves to praise/blame. But for me, personally? I'd rather enjoy youth because it's something I will never experience again. (hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
One of the characters in the story said, "Love is an absolute." Do you agree? Why or why not?

(view spoiler)[What does this statement even mean? Please enlighten me. Heee. (hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
After a heated argument and right before leaving, L.D. remarked that he had one more thing to say to his wife and daughter, apparently desiring to have the last word in the conversation. Are you the kind of person who wishes to have the last word in edgewise, or do you prefer to stay quiet and scream volumes? :)

(view spoiler)[ I used to be the one who always wants to have the last word in arguments. But when I got married, I learned about being "submissive" (heh) so I am learning to keep my mouth shut and let the husband have his own way. (hide spoiler)](view spoiler)[And then splurge on something for myself. Sweet revenge. Hee. (hide spoiler)]
(hide spoiler)]

[Bennard]

WEEK 4 QUESTIONS

The Calm
(view spoiler)[
I can't remember any particular story that I overheard in barber shops but barbers in the town where I grew up in always talked about sports and women. And the tales they told about women are NOT of the PG-13 variety. Somehow, I think they influenced my sexual awakening of sorts.
(hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
(view spoiler)[
I think that Popular Mechanics is already a good title for the story but if i'm going to title it I might choose Tug-o-War? Hahaha. I dunno anymore.:p
(hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
(view spoiler)[
Starting a family by accident is somehow tragic since there is a greater chance for the child/ren to be screwed up by the parent's mistakes. But if it's by choice then, as long as they are aware of what they're doing and prepared to do everything for the family, why not?
(hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
(view spoiler)[
Yes, love is an absolute since the very concept of love demands it to be. However, when you put humans in the mix, the way that we love each other may become a little less absolute. Do I even make sense?:D
(hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
(view spoiler)[
It depends on the situation, really. I can be the former at one point then be the latter at another.
(hide spoiler)]

[Alexa]

WEEK 4 QUESTIONS

The Calm
(view spoiler)[I don't think I've overheard anything in a barbershop. I tend to space out if I have to sit doing nothing for long periods of time, or I try to make idle time productive by thinking about my plans for the week, and other stuff :D (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
(view spoiler)[Let 'er rip. Bad joke huhu sorry I can't think of anything that isn't kind of offensive :(( (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
(view spoiler)[Personally, I'd wish they should finish school and get jobs first to keep themselves financially stable (because love can't put food on the table, especially if it will be a table for three or more), but whether by accident or choice, if they already started a family, might as well make the most of what they have and start from there. (hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
(view spoiler)[Yes, I believe so. However, love as we could possibly know and experience it is relative, I think, because humans are imperfect and so are their relationships, which is why we interpret and show love differently. (hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
(view spoiler)[I always prefer to have the last word but in the end, I don't like my comebacks so I just give my meanest stare and leave. Then I'll probably stew in my passive-aggressiveness. (hide spoiler)]

[Louize]

WEEK 4 QUESTIONS
(view spoiler)[
The Calm
As you may know, salons in our country are mostly filled with gay people. It’s always amazing to just listen to them rap those gay lingos. Doesn’t matter that I never understood half of what was being said.

Popular Mechanics
Sloppiest Custody Battle.

Everything Stuck To Him
I believe that age is not the chief factor to be considered in starting a family, it is commitment. Whether it is accidental or by choice, they have to examine their selves how committed they will go through it, because without it they’ll be threading sorrows ahead.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
No. For me love will always be relative and dependent. Experience taught me that love cannot exist on love alone.

One More Thing
The thing about me, if I am really angry and at the peak of it, I don’t talk. So if I have already said my piece, I leave it at that.
(hide spoiler)]

[Maria]

WEEK 4 QUESTIONS

The Calm
The story takes place inside a barbershop. Tell us about the most interesting story you've (over)heard while in the barber's/salon. :)

(view spoiler)[I have none. The first time I stepped inside a barber shop, Ramsey got his haircut. And since he’s crying the whole time his hair was being cut, no story I could’ve heard over that racket. LOL (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
Husband and wife play a nasty tug-of-war over their baby. Try to give an alternative title to this story.

(view spoiler)[Feels Like Solomon (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
The main characters in this story are an 18-year-old father and a 16-year-old mother. What is your take on couples who start families of their own at an early age (whether accidentally or by choice)?

(view spoiler)[By Accident: Kagaguhan ang mindset ng mga mag-jowa na lume-levels tapos magugulat/magagalit/maiiyak kapag nabuntis ang girlash.

By Choice: Either you’re brave or you’re stupid. Brave because you know what you really want this early in your lives. Stupid because you’re limiting yourselves to this kind of life this early in your lives. I am more inclined with the “brave” side, though. (hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
One of the characters in the story said, "Love is an absolute." Do you agree? Why or why not?

(view spoiler)[Agree. I see things in black and white, I have no time for gray. Either you love or you don’t. either you hate or you don’t. As long as you love, there is no more or less. You just love, period. (hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
After a heated argument and right before leaving, L.D. remarked that he had one more thing to say to his wife and daughter, apparently desiring to have the last word in the conversation. Are you the kind of person who wishes to have the last word in edgewise, or do you prefer to stay quiet and scream volumes? :)

(view spoiler)[Let me put it this way: When and if I say something, I really mean it, and it’s final. You’ll get no BS from me. For when I speak, I already had the conversations in my mind a thousand times, because I really speak them out loud. So when I am quiet, it means that I am thinking on what to say, or holding my tongue before it gets away from me. (hide spoiler)]

[Lynai]

MARIA: (view spoiler)[RAWRRRRRR! Haha! :P (hide spoiler)]

[Meliza]

Dear TFG Friends... Troll comment...

Remember my answer to the discussion question for
The Third Thing That Killed My Father Off?
(view spoiler)[I used to love our pet cats and dogs when I was young, elementary/high school days... I cried every time someone died. After some time, I decided to not be too emotionally attached to pets so that it won't hurt that much when they die. But currently, we have a new dog named Akisha. She's so playful and friendly. How can you not love a Lab? (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[Akisha died today, about 30 minutes ago. Sorry, but I need to let this out. I'm crying right now. (hide spoiler)]

[Louize]

Melisa: (view spoiler)[ Aw, sweety. I am so sorry. Go ahead and cry it all out, baby. (hide spoiler)]

[Louize]

Since we are still discussing everything about love, I'd like to share this article:

http://sethadamsmith.com/2014/02/14/l...

I guess, in a way this is to support my answers to the week 4 questions.

[Maria]

Lynai wrote: "MARIA: [spoilers removed]"

Lynai: (view spoiler)[I told you, that's why we are friends! *high five* (hide spoiler)]

[Maria]

^Louize: *sings* Let it go, Let it go! (view spoiler)[can't help it, LSS. hehe (hide spoiler)]

Seriously, though. A fish may love a bird, but where would they live? Good question. But the bird bath solution is even better. :))

[Ingrid]

Pahabol

The Calm
(view spoiler)[ Can't remember anything that interesting. I usually watch TV, haha (hide spoiler)]

Popular Mechanics
(view spoiler)[ I initially thought of Tug of war, like Bennard. (hide spoiler)]

Everything Stuck To Him
(view spoiler)[ I have no opinion. CHOS. For once, I shall choose to pass judgment. (hide spoiler)]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
(view spoiler)[ Truth be told, hindi ko naintindihan ang tanong na ito, haha. I think it is and it isn't? For a question about absoluteness, ang labo ng sagot ko. :)) (hide spoiler)]

One More Thing
(view spoiler)[ Being a Blue person (social style), I don't get the last say because in resolving conflicts, the first thing Blues do (or well, at least I do) is to give in. Haha. (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

That's a wrap for this thread, friends. Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your participation. Cheers! :)