[F2F Book Discussions] February 2014: What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: Stories by Raymond Carver [Genre: Short Stories] | Moderator: Monique

[Gwaxa]

Tina: Benta ng M.U. mo. LOL talaga.

Monique: Yung discussion ng book I'm sure will be interesting. Ang iniisip ko eh yung mga tangent discussions. Alam naman naten na sa TFG, point A leads to point B, C, D, E, and so on and so forth. Lol.

Meliza: Yes na yes. Di pa ko nakatulog agad so pinanuod ko. ;)

Aaron: The pseudo-romanticism, of course. Mga gano ba kaminsan yan? Also, I didn't have doubts on your status as a pop culture slut. :p

Maria, Lynai: KAYO NA! :p

Cary: Auto friend zone? Paki explain. :)

[Cary]

GWAXA: panoorin mo yung tales from the friendzone ni ramon bautista para malaman mo. :D

[Meliza]

Cary: Ako din, hindi ko rin alam 'yang auto friend zone.

[Cary]

Eto, panoorin nyo. haha! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvbSX...

panoorin nyo din yung ibang episodes.

[Meliza]

Cary: Episode 3 lang papanoodin namin?

[Monique]

GWAXA: Tama ka, tulad ngayon, Point A has led to B, C, at eto na nga, Point Z na. LOL. :))

--------------------------------------

Will post the Reading Plan over the weekend so check back here for that. (view spoiler)[Remember, we are reading a book this month, and it's called What We Talk About When We Talk About Love? XD (hide spoiler)]

Happy weekend, friends, lovers, and friend-zoned friends! :P

[Tina]

Cary: ay natawa ako sa feature na yan. At alam ko yang episode na yan! XD (view spoiler)[May nagsabi sakin before na may ganyan din ako. Hahahaha. (hide spoiler)]

Meliza: watch everything na para masaya. :p

Cousin: natawa ako sa closing ng post mo. :))

Happy weekend, everyone. :D

[Maria Ella]

Ako honestly, takot ma-friendzone. Kesa gawin mo ang pre-emptive supalpal - isupalpal mo na lang. mas apparent, mas okay. LOL

Happy weekend~ :)

[Tricia]

Hindi din ako makarelate sa friendzoned thing. (view spoiler)[maganda din kasi ako haha loljk (hide spoiler)]

Ella, mahirap kasi masupalpal. Unahan mo na lang siya hahaha (view spoiler)[ gusto ko talaga yang word na supalpal. May sound effect kasi para sakin haha (hide spoiler)]

K. Move on. There are so many fishes in the sea~

Happy weekends, guys!

[Patrick]

What is your love language?
(view spoiler)[I used to like giving gifts. But I've stopped doing that since it does seem like you're buying someone's love. It's taking some time for me to adjust because my natural urge is to think of something to give. When I get this feeling I remind myself that my presence is enough of a gift.
So I don't know anymore what my love language is. I don't "say", at least in person, words of affirmation. I don't think I'm a touchy-feely kind of guy. I tend to be passive sometimes so acts of service are rare. Of course everyone likes spending time with the people they love. It's just probably something I don't know how to do right. Extreme introversion can be a stubborn bitch. But here's my clingy score.
5 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
3 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch (hide spoiler)]

Finish the sentence: When I hear the word "love," I think about - (view spoiler)[something I can't really tell with absolute definitiveness because it differs from time to time. But if you're asking for this particular moment, I think about (view spoiler)["her" (hide spoiler)]. Other times, it's (view spoiler)["them". (wtf!) (hide spoiler)] But can you really call it love when you never really had the chance to genuinely know the person well? Or is it just some idealized image of that person you had been desperately clinging to in a fit of nostalgia? Each one of us has their own perspective on what real love is. The question doesn't ask but I'll still share my understanding of it just because (view spoiler)[(I'm TMI like that. haha!) (hide spoiler)]
Yes, love is what gets people out of bed in the morning but it's also what makes people stay in bed for days brooding. A hurt caused by love can suddenly make you do things you never had the motivation to do before such as meeting new people, learning a sport and morning jogs. It can make you see yourself in a whole new way and realize all the shit you've been doing to the people who you claim to love. It can also teach you how tough it is to forgive and really show it. Love can sometimes make you believe the only solution is to let go and part ways with that person.
Love is when you just wish the person who hurt you to be well and not have any guilt left over from the bad experience you've both gone through. To see the other person happy even though you know this person can never have the same feelings for you. (view spoiler)[damn! (hide spoiler)] So you numb yourself to it even going so far as wanting to hate that person.
Love and hate do go hand in hand. But what's nice is when you realize that no matter how much you try you can never hate enough a person who has hurt you more than you love her. You guys think being in the friendzone sucks? I assure you there are far worse things that can really suck the life out of you like a massive black hole.

Pity those who wait
Trusting love to fate
Finding out too late
That they've lost it

Not the most creative source for a quote, I know. But it's a lovely song. Good morning, TFG. Chill lang. Puro halaman at unicorn lang yata ang nabasa ko dito. :)
(hide spoiler)]

[Cary]

Naks patrick! (view spoiler)[ gusto mo ng blade?! Lol,JK (hide spoiler)] but seriously, sabi nga ni pareng monra, there's more to life than love (in a romantic sense). I think pare-parehas naman tayo ng definition and understanding ng love eh. Iba-iba nga lang ng object. :)

[Tina]

Patrick: are you sure you weren't in the workshop I attended last night? Parang yan din yung sinabi kagabi ;)

Cary: I figure: God = love. God = way bigger than our comprehension. Ergo, love really is just too big for us to really comprehend it all. :)

[Maria]

Patrick:

"I wish her happiness, even if it means being with someone else that's not me."

Boom!

;)

[Meliza]

Patrick: I suddenly remembered when we sang "Gwaxa believed in magic..." Haha.

[Maria Ella]

Hi Patrick - gusto mong sumama sa laslas fanatics? TMI ka rin eh. hehehe.

At pwede bang maglaslas rito - Or is it just some idealized image of that person you had been desperately clinging to in a fit of nostalgia?

Ano yan ne? Move on move on rin pag may time ha? 2014 na~ :D

[Ranee]

Gosh Patrick! But I still believe that the opposite of love is indifference. That you can only hurt up to the limit that which you let yourself be hurt. And that blackholes are created when a star dies, when all the combusting elements stop causing the reaction, so as long as you keep that fire burning, no blackholes will be created

[Cary]

Tsk, tsk! Iba talaga ang nagagawa pag love ang pinag uusapan, nagiging poetic ang mga tao. Pero I agree, pwede ka naman magmahal unconditionally nang hindi nasasaktan. Because to love means making that commitment/choice to care for people whether they love you back or not. :)(view spoiler)[ nagsalita ang halaman, lol (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

Patrick wrote: "Love is when you just wish the person who hurt you to be well and not have any guilt left over from the bad experience you've both gone through. To see the other person happy even though you know this person can never have the same feelings for you."

I went through this so I agree. But when I think about it now, the person who hurt me actually did me a favor - if it had not been for that person, I wouldn't be where I am now, right? :D

Haha Patrick, TFG ba talaga ang dapat mag-chill o ikaw? Haha! See you sa F2F ha? And thank you dahil ang tyaga mong mag-backread ng unicorns at halaman. :D

DOC RANEE: I agree with you that the opposite of love is indifference. ;)

--------------------------------------

Here's the reading plan, friends, as promised. You don't need to follow this strictly, but remember that I will be posting questions per week based on this. :)

READING PLAN

WEEK 1 (Jan. 26 - Feb. 1)
- Why Don't You Dance?
- Viewfinder
- Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
- Gazebo

WEEK 2 (Feb. 2 - 8)
- I Could See The Smallest Things
- Sacks
- The Bath
- Tell The Women We're Going

WEEK 3 (Feb. 9 - 15)
- After The Denim
- So Much Water So Close To Home
- The Third Thing That Killed My Father Off
- A Serious Talk

WEEK 4 (Feb. 16 - 22)
- The Calm
- Popular Mechanics
- Everything Stuck To Him
- What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
- One More Thing

Okay, carry on! :D

[twstrfries]

(1) When I hear the word "love," I think about (view spoiler)[acceptance. Of who they are without trying to change them of who you want them to be. Of your faults. Of situations and feelings you cannot change. At syempre, acceptance na minsan nakakatanga ang love. (hide spoiler)]

(2) What is your love language?
(view spoiler)[
10 Acts of Service
9 Quality Time
5 Physical Touch
5 Words of Affirmation
1 Receiving Gifts

I think it's pretty accurate. Hindi rin ako touchy person nor someone who would say I love you everyday. No wonder my love language is Act of Service kasi mahilig ako magutos, hahaha! But I also like doing things for my love ones and I always like to spend time with them even if it's just over xbox, movies or anime. (hide spoiler)]

Patrick: sabi ko sayo teh wag nagpupuyat eh! Haha! Ampalaya pa!

Meliza: Friends to exclusive works. Pero you have to clarify kung asan na ba kayo. Para walang blurred lines.

MU Topic: Yung mga "Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi" stage ba to? Hahaha! Isa lang naman ang lesson diyan, wag asyumera. Di bale ng dense. Tapos bagsak niyan - friendzoned lang pala. (Watch: RB's TFTFZ Episode ZERO)

[Gwaxa]

Patrick: T_T
Di na kita tatanungin bout the taboo subject. ;)

[Ma. Lalaine]

Love reminds me of Jesus because his love is pure and selfless. That is ideal love.

My language is mostly quality time. Pinipilit ko nga touch pero di talaga. Best answer that describes you e. Haha!

[Tricia]

Wow, Patrick. (view spoiler)[wala na akong nasabi. Wow nalang (hide spoiler)]

[Tricia]

Guys, may PDF copy kayo?

[Monique]

Tricia wrote: "Guys, may PDF copy kayo?"

Tricia, sa first page ng thread na 'to, may link si Mae for ebooks. Message no. 4. Pero mobi and epub format. :)

[Tricia]

Monique wrote: "Tricia wrote: "Guys, may PDF copy kayo?"

Tricia, sa first page ng thread na 'to, may link si Mae for ebooks. Message no. 4. Pero mobi and epub format. :)"

Yuh! I saw that pero kung walang pdf, convert ko nalang :D

[Lynai]

Lovely poster, Monique! :)

[Monique]

Lynai wrote: "Lovely poster, Monique! :)"

Thank you Lynai! :)

[Gwaxa]

Love the poster.
But........the stories feel so "bitin". I'm only on the 3rd one, btw.

[Maria Ella]

Gwaxa - (view spoiler)[I've read the book before, and out of the stories that I still remember and with that hangover is, aside from the Title story, is Viewfinder. Nakapasakit, kuya Eddie. Harsh harsh reality slamming at you. (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

Gwaxa wrote: "Love the poster.
But........the stories feel so "bitin". I'm only on the 3rd one, btw."

Hehe. That's Carver's (dirty realism) style. :D

[Gwaxa]

Ella: (view spoiler)[Di ko nga na-gets kung ano ba hinahanap nya dun ehh. Sumakit yung ulo ko. But seriously, paki-explain. (hide spoiler)]

Monique: Sorry, I'm not familiar with that style. Mr. Wikipedia gave me this, (view spoiler)["Dirty realism is the fiction of a new generation of American authors. They write about the belly-side of contemporary life – a deserted husband, an unwed mother, a car thief, a pickpocket, a drug addict – but they write about it with a disturbing detachment, at times verging on comedy." (hide spoiler)].
So basically, what? Naninibago talaga ko. Hehe.

[JL]

Sorry, late post:

(1) Finish the sentence: When I hear the word "love," I think about sacrifice and a lot of Heart Bending ala Avatar: the Last Airbender :)

I can't access the Love Language link here in the office, so it's still a mystery :)

[Maria]

Gwaxa: That's my impression of this book when I read it last year. But I realized, a story does not have to have an ending, in order for me to realize the wholeness of it. :) Try the audiobook after reading, it's another bout of awesome reading experience.

[Maria Ella]

Maria wrote: "Try the audiobook after reading, it's another bout of awesome reading experience."

Maria, I wanna try that. Pag may ulan tapos malamig ang panahon. Kapartner ang kape at pagbabasa at pakikinig (view spoiler)[kulang na lang blade, laslas na hahaha (hide spoiler)] May point ka jan - and Gwaxa, I think it is better to just fill in the gaps, and feel them. it evokes the dark side of things - those lonely side.

But seriously, my take on each and every Carver's short story is different when explained. i-feel mo ata dapat, ineng.
(view spoiler)[Good choice on picking this as a valentine read hehehe, kudos, Monique~ (hide spoiler)]

[Angus]

Ella: I-blender mo na lang ang mga blades tapos ihalo mo sa kapeng mainit. Death by espresso!

[Maria]

Ella: I'm halfway done with the audiobook. When I was listening to Gazebo, (view spoiler)[ramdam na ramdam ko ung angst and pain ni Holly!!!

While we were doing it, you were thinking of her.

&^*(^&*&%!@#$#!@ lang ung narrator na guy. LOL (hide spoiler)]

Try mo girl, ung audio, dali. :)

[Monique]

WEEK 1 QUESTIONS

Why Don't You Dance?
In the first story, the unnamed narrator appeared to be having a yard sale. If you were to have one, which items/things would you choose to let go and why?

Viewfinder
The photographer in the story had two hooks in place of his hands. Do you think there's any real significance to this detail? If yes, what is it and if there's none, why do you say so?

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
The narrator is telling about his wife's lover, Ross aka Mr Fixit. Who is Mr Coffee?

Gazebo
Duane's infidelity is threatening to break his marriage apart. I read somewhere that if you're erasing phone messages so that your partner won't see them, you're getting there. Do you agree? Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? (view spoiler)[If you want to elaborate, please do so. If not, tell us about the lesson you learned from the experience, if any. (hide spoiler)]

[Joy]

Late post.

Finish the sentence:When I hear the word "love," I think about ________.

(view spoiler)[ I've been mulling over this and...
When I hear the word love, I can't think of anything specific really, but different picture flashes in my mind instead, like when I wake up in the morning and I took my first conscious breath; when I see the sun shining outside or when I feel the early morning heat of the sun in my body; when my Pa made me a hot drink; when my three year old nephew gave me a hug during a tough day; when I read a great book; when I cry after laughing heartily with my siblings or my friends; when a stranger smiled at me; when I feel the air in my face when I ride my bicycle or the sea breeze when I go to the seaside; when I enjoyed an incredible day with someone;when my bestfriend stayed up on ungodly hours just to hear me out and comfort me; when someone go a long way to give me something; when someone sent me a random and simple message that turned an awful day into a great one; when someone appreciate something I did or when I received compliment for a job well done; when I'm talking and the person is listening, like really listening; when I see my parents joking around each other or goofing with us and when the show their affections to each other when they thought we weren't looking; when someone push you to your limits; (view spoiler)[because sometimes they know what's good for you (hide spoiler)]; I think about the people who accepted my flaws and put up with all my faults and all my ugly-parts-that-nobody-would-ever-accept, people who didn't give up on me in times I already given up on myself; when I read something from a book, or I heard a song, or someone utter the words that I really needed that moment; (view spoiler)[ (it's like God or the universe is showing they care) (hide spoiler)]; and I think about all those answered and unanswered (view spoiler)[because even the unanswered prayers can be a blessing, even though we don't know it yet that time (hide spoiler)] are prayers from God. Okaaay, I can go on and on…but 'nuff said.
All I want to say is that sometimes the simplest things can bring us the greatest joy and that we breathe in love in our daily lives that we often take it for granted. (hide spoiler)]

My Love Language
(view spoiler)[

9 Quality Time
9 Acts of Service
5 Words of Affirmation
5 Physical Touch
2 Receiving Gifts

The results are pretty much accurate. I love spending time with my family and friends. I am someone who shows affection through acts and deeds. I'm also a very touchy person, I love hugging and touching people, especially the one I'm close with. In my opinion, it's like speaking in a thousand words without uttering a word and also hugging is good for our physical and emotional health (that's a bonus, really.) Yes, hugs are good and they feel really nice too! So here~ >>>:D<<< free hugs (hide spoiler)]


Thank you Mae and Mommy Louize for the e-book and audiobook, respectively. :)

[Tin]

Week 1 Questions
(view spoiler)[
Why Don't You Dance?
In the first story, the unnamed narrator appeared to be having a yard sale. If you were to have one, which items/things would you choose to let go and why?

Answer:(view spoiler)[I don't know. Probably my bed. I've had it for a very long time (the left side has a jutting spring underneath) and it's one of those things that has been with me for so long that sometimes it kind of feels like I am as static as it is. Chos. :) (hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder
The photographer in the story had two hooks in place of his hands. Do you think there's any real significance to this detail? If yes, what is it and if there's none, why do you say so?

Answer:(view spoiler)[ The hooks probably keeps him from other people, I mean from integrating/mingling because you know, he's bound to get strange looks. And I kind of wondered why the narrator invited him inside his house. It could mean he feels lonely (no family members seem to be with him inside) and feels akin to this man who could be lonely as well due to his hooks...or something...haha (hide spoiler)]

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
The narrator is telling about his wife's lover, Ross aka Mr Fixit. Who is Mr Coffee?

Answer:(view spoiler)[ The narrator is Mr. Coffee? Perhaps he feels that he has been somewhat displaced. An outsider looking in. It's like he is only a generic fixture in the lives of his wife, daughter, his own. Just like the Mr. Coffees in every office...or something...:D (hide spoiler)]

Gazebo
Duane's infidelity is threatening to break his marriage apart. I read somewhere that if you're erasing phone messages so that your partner won't see them, you're getting there. Do you agree? Have you ever cheated or been cheated on

Answer:(view spoiler)[ I guess this means that the honesty / trust is slowly breaking down when you keep things from your partner. The act of deleting the txt msgs kind of feels like you yourself know that you are doing something wrong. And I do think trust/honesty is a very important thing in relationships. Also, no and no. :) (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

Hi JOY! :) I would sum up your answers in this: when you think about love, you also think about life and the beauty that is life. Do you agree? :)

I think most of us have Quality Time as the primary love language. More of that soon! ;)

TIN: Thanks for your answers! I love your answer in Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit - I never would have thought of the narrator as Mr Coffee for those exact reasons. :)

[Maria]

Answers to Week 1 Questions:
(view spoiler)[
Why Don't You Dance?
Maybe my stack of cds. Its the only thing that I can think of close to impersonal, that I can sell in a garage sale.

Viewfinder
I don't see a connection. Only makes me think that the irony is pretty much blatant, a photographer with hooks for his hands. Could it be that he loved photography so much? Or it is the only thing he's good at, that despite the loss of his hands, he had nothing better to do but take photographs.

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
Mr. Coffee is the narrator? To get him off the alcohol (but failed)? Alam ko na, ung coffee machines sa office! binigyan nya lang ng pangalan. lol

Gazebo
You are so getting there. I agree! Cheating is only cheating for me if it is acted upon. No, I have never cheated (counted ba pag sa panaginip? haha) and I haven't been cheated on. Maybe I inspire fidelity? Chos.

Seriously though, I think cheating roots from insecurity. And supposedly, that should not exist between you and your partner, because you are comfortable with each other enough to accept each other ng buong buo.
(hide spoiler)]

[Mae]

WEEK 1

(view spoiler)[
Why Don't You Dance?

(view spoiler)[I have lots of stuff that I should probably get rid of - stuff that remind of me of things that are better off forgotten. (Haha. May ganon? Lulz.) I don't know. Clothes na lang. I dropped down two sizes over the last two years so I should probably get rid of the things that make me look like a sack of potatoes. (hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder

(view spoiler)[I think this physical deformity mirrors the state of that other guy whose wife and children left, turning him into some kind of recluse. Both the photographer's hooks and the other guy's mental/emotional state tend to keep people at bay. (hide spoiler)]

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit

(view spoiler)[I assumed the narrator is Mr Coffee because he asked for it at some point. *shrugs* (hide spoiler)]

Gazebo

(view spoiler)[That makes sense. The fact that you're making an effort to hide something means that you know there's something wrong with what you're doing. As for cheating, the only cheating I've ever done is on my French final exam back in high school. :D (hide spoiler)]
(hide spoiler)]

[Maria]

A love letter for Duane of Gazebo:
(view spoiler)[
livid, adj.

Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional.

- The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

(view spoiler)[Rot in hell, Duane! (Galit na galit lang, haha (hide spoiler)]
(hide spoiler)]

[Angus]

WEEK 1 ANSWERS

(view spoiler)[Why Don't You Dance?

(view spoiler)[I assume this is any yard sale (not something that resulted from ... a love problem?) The first things that I would sell would be clothes and shoes. I actually throw unused clothes and shoes, hehe. But then, I think no one would buy my clothes because they twist to my right. It's a phenomenon scoliotic people would understand. (hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder

(view spoiler)[I think it's a contrast between the photographer and the other guy. The photographer has a physical tragedy while the other guy has an inner one. (hide spoiler)]

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit

(view spoiler)[The narrator is Mr. Coffee. I'm saying this with finality, haha. Looks like the narrator is an alcoholic like his parents. The wife, Myrna, is trying to stay sober. Coffee helps (?) in this aspect. Hence, the monicker. (hide spoiler)]

Gazebo

(view spoiler)[It's not necessarily cheating. Maybe the message eraser is falling out of love (decide which is worse). I have never cheated because I've only been in one official monogamous relationship, the rest have been open relationships and flings. Do they even count as relationships? Probably they do because there's still a semblance of human connection between two consenting adults. I don't know if that guy cheated on me. I'm not that nosy. (hide spoiler)]

(hide spoiler)]

[Gwaxa]

WEEK 1 QUESTIONS

(view spoiler)[

Why Don't You Dance?
(view spoiler)[My accounting textbooks. I have lots and lots of textbooks from college and board review. Instead of gathering dust in our shelves, I think they would be of more help to other people. Also, it's not as if I would read them again. (hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder
(view spoiler)[I think it made the photographer more interesting. Someone who has hooks for hands is taking photographs for a living? Maybe it made the person in the house more curious about him. If he was a just a regular guy, maybe he wouldn't have been invited inside the house. And, the house guy said it, he was curious how he would drink his coffee among other things. (hide spoiler)]

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
(view spoiler)[Mr Coffee is a nickname for those office guys who have jobs. Since the narrator is jobless, I think it was his bitter way of making fun of those with jobs (albeit a boring one in his opinion). Just like his nickname for his wife's lover, Mr Fixit, he was making fun of the way he tries to collect things to fix but they just accumulate in his house.. (hide spoiler)]

Gazebo
(view spoiler)[I agree. If you're not guilty, a couple of texts won't hurt anyone, right?
No, I have been fortunate enough and haven't experienced being cheated on. And again, no, I haven't cheated on anyone. I believe in karma so if the opportunity ever presents itself, I'd like to think that my belief would prevail.
As for Duane, I have never understood the reason "I didn't know how it happened, it just did." Really, did someone possess you? A ghost lusting after the girl? It was your choice, believe it or not. I always try not to judge since no one really knows how he/she will react unless you're in that situation but sometimes the reasons for cheating are so stupid you just can't help but want to kick him in the balls or punch her in the boobs. Lol. (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Meliza]

WEEK 1 QUESTIONS

(view spoiler)[Why Don't You Dance?
I would give things that I'm not using anymore, anything but things that were given to me as gifts.

Viewfinder
I agree with Gwaxa's answer. Haha. Tamad.

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
After I read this story, I thought that Mr. Coffee is the narrator. But after reading other's answers, I don't know anymore. Hehe.

Gazebo
I agree. No, and no. (hide spoiler)]

[Louize]

WEEK 1 QUESTIONS

Why Don't You Dance?
In the first story, the unnamed narrator appeared to be having a yard sale. If you were to have one, which items/things would you choose to let go and why?

(view spoiler)[
That would be hubby's hundreds of cassette tape collection. Because, really, how else am I going to get rid of them?
(hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder
The photographer in the story had two hooks in place of his hands. Do you think there's any real significance to this detail? If yes, what is it and if there's none, why do you say so?

(view spoiler)[
It was said that hook dreams mean you should go out into the world and seek what you are meant to do. I don't know exactly who said that. And maybe I am reading too much from what should be. I guess, it means that the man who is holed up inside his own home should seek life outside, instead of clamming up.
(hide spoiler)]

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
The narrator is telling about his wife's lover, Ross aka Mr Fixit. Who is Mr Coffee?

(view spoiler)[
The narrator is Mr. Coffee. Since Mr. Fixit claims to be good at fixing broken things, but not; Mr. Coffee is claiming to be the sober one, but not.
(hide spoiler)]

Gazebo
Duane's infidelity is threatening to break his marriage apart. I read somewhere that if you're erasing phone messages so that your partner won't see them, you're getting there. Do you agree? Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? [If you want to elaborate, please do so. If not, tell us about the lesson you learned from the experience, if any.

(view spoiler)[
Cheating comes in different forms, in any relationship. It hurts. Not only that, it dug holes. But it's how you handle it that counts. If you keep count of all the cheats, then you lose sight of the vital things in the process. I am not saying that you should not confront it. You should, by all means. Shout at each other, hurl all the dishes at each other, if you must. But keep in mind that you are just fighting; you are still both in the relationship; and the reason you are going through all the outburst is because you want to keep each other.
But there are limits to these. If the cheating escalates, and you feel that you are already losing yourself (i.e. self-confidence, identity, dreams), then you have to look at things in a different direction. Maybe, you are better off this relationship.
(hide spoiler)]

[Tricia]

Why Don't You Dance?
In the first story, the unnamed narrator appeared to be having a yard sale. If you were to have one, which items/things would you choose to let go and why?

(view spoiler)[I think I'll sell my nursing books because they're gathering dust in the shelves. Clothes and shoes, not much since I donate those to my nieces/nephews in Cavite (no one will buy my clothes!) (hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder
The photographer in the story had two hooks in place of his hands. Do you think there's any real significance to this detail? If yes, what is it and if there's none, why do you say so?

(view spoiler)[I find it ironic that a photographer lacks hands that are used to balance the camera to take pictures. I don't know, I don't see any significance. (hide spoiler)]

Mr Coffee and Mr Fixit
The narrator is telling about his wife's lover, Ross aka Mr Fixit. Who is Mr Coffee?

(view spoiler)[Same answer with Mommy Louize! (hide spoiler)]

Gazebo
Duane's infidelity is threatening to break his marriage apart. I read somewhere that if you're erasing phone messages so that your partner won't see them, you're getting there. Do you agree? Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? [If you want to elaborate, please do so. If not, tell us about the lesson you learned from the experience, if any.

(view spoiler)[ Hah, cheating. Well, I think it's not at all cheating when you erase/hide phone messages from your partner unless you know, the messages came from a third party or another lover. You'll know naman if you're doing something wrong di ba? I don't know. Why would you hide something from your partner? I also don't believe in this: "I didn't know how it happened, it just did." It's full of bullshit. (view spoiler)[ I don't know how to react hahaha (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[Was I cheated on? (hide spoiler)](view spoiler)[YES (hide spoiler)](view spoiler)[Edited! I think enough people have read my story lol (hide spoiler)](view spoiler)[About cheating, do you agree with this article? When Is Cheating Not Cheating? (hide spoiler)](view spoiler)[I don't think I've ever cheated on anyone except, yeah, in school (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[Tina]

Before I answer the questions -- a little input on Love Languages ulit. Apparently, it is true that whatever your primary love language is, it also tells you how you withhold your love from someone. For example, if your primary love language is Words of Affirmation, when you are hurt or angry or if you choose not to love someone, you use your words to hurt them too. I guess pag Quality Time, you withhold your time from them -- you don't hang out with them, you don't go out of your way for them anymore, etc. (view spoiler)[Hm, makes sense. (hide spoiler)]

And also, Patrick! (view spoiler)[Naalala ko lang -- my two cents on you said about giving gifts and how it seems like you're buying their affections. I don't believe that, really. I guess the reason why it's important to know our love languages is for all of us to know and appreciate and accept how we show our love to one another, even if it's not how you would normally accept love. I heard one speaker talk about love languages recently, and she said that she used to be annoyed at her dad kasi he kept on giving her gifts everyday, and for her it felt like he was trying to make up for him not being there. Which she later found out wasn't true, because her dad's love language is giving gifts, so it gives him joy to buy her stuff. And she learned to thank him for that instead of thinking he was covering up/making up for something or that he's buying her affections. Siguro it all depends on your intentions, and if it's really your intention to make the other person happy because of your gift, then I don't think it's bad. Yun lang, if the other person thinks otherwise..then siguro that person doesn't know you too well yet. :) But that's beyond our control na. :) Siguro balance lang din, na don't give gifts but then never show up. Yung mga ganun. :) (hide spoiler)]

Tralala ang dami ko na naman sinabi. Answering questions now! :D

Why Don't You Dance?
(view spoiler)[My old clothes, because that would give me a reason to clear my closet. And maybe books I don't read anymore, or have no plans on reading.

I have a feeling dapat may meaning yung mga ibebenta mo dito, but then why sell them if they still mean so much to you, right? (view spoiler)[Throw them or burn them, pwede rin. JK. (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

Viewfinder
(view spoiler)[I think it's a metaphor about his own hurts? From the dialogue, it almost seemed like he was sympathizing with the other character, but he had a physical manifestation of his hurts. (hide spoiler)]

Mr. Coffee and Mr. Fixit
(view spoiler)[The narrator. Hehe wala na rin ako ma-explain about this. XD (hide spoiler)]

Gazebo
(view spoiler)[The workshop I attended (about love!) last week talked about this, too. The speaker said that for her, cheating starts in the mind, and I agree. If you can't do or say what you're about to do or say in front of your partner, then why are you going to do it or say it? So yeah, some text messages may seem harmless, and it's always, always easy to say that, anyway, but if you can't talk about it with the other person...then why are you doing it? (view spoiler)[Unless of course it's for a surprise, or something. (hide spoiler)] It all starts with the intentions, I guess.

Well, since I've never been in a relationship, I have no experience about cheating there. I have cheated in school, though -- and normally, they copy from me. HAHA. There was a time na ako naging pasimuno ng isang leakage for an exam, but I didn't know it was for a major exam. Akala ko for a quiz lang. Ooops. Half of the class memorized it and got a perfect score there, pero dahil na-guilty ako, I didn't use it. :/ (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

WOW. Just... wow. Thank you guys. :)

MARIA: Sis, hindi ka naman galit masyado kay Duane nyan? Bakit parang may pinaghuhugutan yata? LOL!

MAE: I wish I could also say I would sell old clothes because they're too large for me already! And, you had French classes in high school? Wow! :D

BUDDY: On your answer to Gazebo: So is it your opinion that if a person starts to cheat, whether just by thinking it or by performing overt acts, he/she must have already fallen out of love with his partner? Am I correct? :)

GWAXA: If a photographer with hooks for his hands were to knock on your door and offer you a photograph that he took of you, would you let him in for the same reasons that the house guy did? :)

MELIZA: Same follow-up question as Gwaxa's, haha!

MOMMY LOUIZE: At what point do you think any couple should be better off without their relationship, if one has admitted to cheating the other? :)

TRICIA: Aww. (((HUGS))) Don't worry - these things happen for a reason. Isn't it true that whatever doesn't kill us only makes us stronger? And you're still alive, yes? ;)

COUSIN TINA: I agree with your preliminaries (haha!). There wasn't any discussion on that but we can do it sa F2F. :) Also, I totally did the burning thing. LOL.

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Awesome answers, guys. Keep 'em coming. ;)