Code of Conduct

[Jennifer]

It has come to the attention of the Mod Team that we need a sort of Code of Conduct to refer to in times of dispute. This will apply to all members (yes, even Mods). Please do read this, but do not comment on this thread unless you are a Mod, so that we can have a clear and concise set of rules, uninterrupted by comments. If you have any questions, feel free to PM any one of us.

Respect is a two-way street.
We have Christians here, as well as atheists. Disagreements abound. This is normal.
However, whether you are Christian or atheist, please have the maturity to process fully through what other members have said before you respond. I, personally, am a Christian, and yes, this is a Christian group. At the same time, there must be room for questions to be asked –– some of which might seem more than a tad controversial. This is not a place for us to gang up on each other with talk of hell, fire, and brimstone. Any comments said that specific people are going to hell will be deleted. Immediately. Quite frankly, if someone tells me I'm going to hell, I am most likely to reply with a measure of wrath and not take anything they say seriously. My point (in Christianese): Jesus did not come to condemn the world, but to save it. Find more peaceful ways to discuss things. Is hell real? Unfortunately, yes. But don't pour lemon juice on a paper cut.

Atheists, I am glad you are here. Really. However, do remember that it is the gut instinct of a Christian to use the Bible as reference to make a point. We live, breathe, and eat the Word, because it's a major part of how we look at the world. Atheists, forgive us of this, and please be understanding of it. I understand that you don't consider it to be infallible. However, do have patience. We also have many thinkers, writers, scientists, etc. to fall back on –– but we consider the Bible to be above them all.

To all: Do not consider anyone in this group a "project" to be worked on (in other words, someone you aim to "change"). We are human beings, not problems to be solved. We are unpredictable, stubborn, imperfect, and oftentimes opinionated. Remember that you might not have exclusive ownership of "right."
There are certain places where questions are appropriate, and certain places where they are not. When a member mentions a bad day, another member recommends prayer-- we don't need members stepping in to bring them down.
Have patience with each other, and don't overreact to things unless you have a valid reason. If you think you cannot respond to something without going off the rails, just close the thread, take a walk, and think of puppies or flowers or delicious food until you calm down. If you think of anything valid to say that doesn't bite anyone's head off (take a few days, if you need to... seriously), then say it. But never react in anger. Please. It only creates needless drama, and then nobody wants to be here.

If a Mod puts their foot down on certain behaviour in a thread, please learn from it and don't go back to that behaviour. Mods be specific on what you are addressing, as posts can come in while you are typing your responses, and can confuse the issue. If we feel that a particular member is causing trouble, we will privately send a message to settle the dispute and delete whatever comments necessary. If there is something going on –– bullying, threats, or just plain insensitivity, PLEASE send a message to one of the Mods noting the exact situation, which thread it's in, etc., and we will try to address it asap (unless we're already on it). However, do try to remember that we also have lives outside of Goodreads, and cannot always reach it in a split second (Paigetwo has school/homework/stuff, Mojo has stuff, DH has stuff, Gwen/Jenny has work/church/stuff)… but we will try. We would prefer not to have to ban anyone, but if it comes to a point where someone is intolerably nasty, it will happen.

Lastly, but not least, if you need someone to talk to, you can message any of us, and we will lend you an ear –– and possibly some advice, comfort, answers (if we have them). Do remember that we are human, and none of us has all the answers…