Personal Connections with the text and LMU

[Erick]

The book has highlighted some important information regarding the first gen. experience. Although the story takes place in the 1990s, there are a lot of issues that are still present among first generation students in our present time. It seems that although times have changed, there have been some issues that have yet to be addressed. However, I also understand that money, the environment, and insufficient resources might have something to do with this.

I have found some personal connections with the book. The book mentions that Phillip’s dad believes that it is better to strive low instead of high. Later in the text, it is mentioned that kids might be confused when they are told to go to school in order to be successful and have money along with fancy cars. However, the confusion comes when they see people that did not go to college with cars and money but obtained this by participating in crimes. I grew up around relatives that told me to settle for a job and forget about going to college. However, my parents and other relatives would tell me to go to college in order to avoid a struggling life. At times, I felt somewhat confused.

The other part that connected with me was when Cedric was in the MITES program. He knew he was one of the best students in his high school but when he was accepted to the summer program at MIT, he felt intimidated and overwhelmed. His friend Torrence tells Cedric, “You’re feeling bad, deep down, because you’re betraying your people, leaving them all behind, by going up to a white university. Even if you manage to be successful, you’ll never be accepted by whites. You’re just being used by the white power structure to make them feel good, like they’re doing their part and giving a few select Africans a chance….you have to admit that those kids know how to play the game of white academic success better than you do. And that is why they’ll get ahead and you won’t.” This part of the text really resonated with me. That is how I feel sometimes when I am at LMU. The academic rigor at LMU is tough and I do not think that it is my fault; it is the fact that academics were not as intense in high school and community college. There are times when I feel guilty for leaving a school that gave me every opportunity to succeed. The faculty and staff were very understanding and although the classes were not easy, I was still an A student. I still struggle with this concept and when I read this part of the text, I asked my self, “Is Torrence right?”

[La'Tonya]

First of all, thank you, Erick, for sharing part of your experience. I've read this post a few times now because it is quite profound and I won't even dare to address all of your wonderful observations. But I will address Cedric's under-preparedness because it, too, struck me this time around. I was thinking about how the one class was described as a more question and answer with just him and his teacher. And how that learning method (or pedagogy) did not prepare him well for college where classes tend to be more dialogic. I wonder what could've been different for him at Ballou?

[Stella]

I appreciate your question, LT. I think that Cedric's experience with teachers at Ballou--especially in his "regular" classes such as English and History, where the teachers just seemed to talk at him instead of really engaging him--put him at a disadvantage as he advanced on his educational track. I was fortunate to be in an accelerated program in a school that saw few students advance to secondary education. My teachers employed pedagogical strategies that helped the few students who qualified for the accelerated program prepare for 4-year universities like UCLA and Berkeley. We were hyper-conscious of the fact that every assignment, test, etc. was intended as preparation for high school.

But back to the book . . .

I think one's first impulse might be to blame the teachers at Ballou for not preparing their "star students"--like Cedric--adequately. However, as a teacher, I know how frustrating it can be to have students who are totally disengaged, and I can only imagine that something akin to fatigue sets in when one has been teaching classrooms full of disinterested students for multiple years. I get the sense that Cedric fell through the cracks, a victim of a broken system. So, I think that the answer to your question, LT, is that Cedric needed a wider network of support from individuals (teachers, administrators, mentors). Barring the total reform of DC's educational system, I think that's the only way he could have fared better at Ballou.

My success as a high school student really hinged on the fact that a number of individuals took a special interest in me and saw fit to challenge me further. Nonetheless, like Erick, I felt overwhelmed when I finally made it to a 4-year university, and I struggled to compete with many of my better-prepared peers.

Erick touched on a really interesting issue in the text, which is the role of religion in the impoverished DC community. It's clear that Barbara and Cedric derive a sense of emotional support from their community, but it's also clear that the religious organizations--the Pentecostal church, the Jehovah's Witnesses, and Torrence's Islamic congregation--seem to preach a message that does little to encourage their congregants to pursue higher goals. Moreover, we see Barbara--who goes without food after paying rent--reserving 10% of her income for her church tithe.

What role does religion play in Cedric's life and that of his community? Is it a positive influence? A negative influence? I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

[Erick]

I personally think that for the most part, almost every negative situation has its positive side. In regards to the positive side, Cedric was able to see both worlds (the good and the bad) which something that most people today do not get the opportunity to experience. Although some of the words that he heard from Torrence were discouraging, some of them were true and sometimes us as individuals need a reality check even though it might hurt deep down. Thanks to Cedric's environment, he was able to learn about: hope, the importance of saving money, and how to make the most out of his limited opportunities.

On the negative side, I think that it is tough to live in a community where failure is expected. I say this because I come from a community where a four-year education is not highly sought after for multiple factors (e.g. money, family, pregnancy, etc.). Although people in my community have gone to college including myself, others still see it as an unattainable goal. When I arrived to LMU, someone told, "You're in an institution where you're expected to fail." I did not take it the wrong way because I knew it was true for the reasons that I just mentioned. Having said that, Cedric's environment was a negative influence because his community was not very encouraging and encouraged the wrong behaviors (e.g. selling drugs, dropping out of school, etc.). The attitude and the environment alone can be depressing to be around when everyone feels discouraged.