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"Status: Positive" and De-Gaying YA Would you read it?
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I'm not sure I would. From the synopsis I don't get enough sense of how this has come to be as a dystopia, hence I'm a bit leery whether this isn't just piling it onto gay people.I also can see why LGBT-friendly publishers don't care for gay on gay crime at the moment. Gay fiction just barely scrambled out of the hole that it always has to end negatively, depict homosexuality in a depressing manner, and I think they would dislike dumping things back there in a way.
Hope that helps.
I agree... The synopsis needs work. It left me confused beyond reason, rather than giving me a true sense of the story. Remember, a synopsis should not raise questions, ever, it should answer them.Also, the general basis of your story urkes me a bit too deeply. It is a monsterous step back from where we are now, and not in a true dystopian fashion. That may prevent publishers from taking a look at it. (at least as the synopsis is currently written)
As for LGBTQ not being marketable... well, I have not found that to be true. My agent is screaming at me to finish my YA books as she has publishers wanting them. I think if you shed more light on your storyline in your synopsis, you may have better luck finding an agent.
Also try marketing to LGBTQ presses like Harmony Ink, Less than Three, Riptide, to name a few.
One more thing... if you have more than a few hundred word excerpt posted as a free read anywhere online, most publishers will not look at it. It states in most contracts the work must not have been previously published in any context. Something to consider since you have full chapters posted.
Steelwhisper wrote: "I'm not sure I would. From the synopsis I don't get enough sense of how this has come to be as a dystopia, hence I'm a bit leery whether this isn't just piling it onto gay people.I also can see w..."
Yes, it does. This is very constructive. Thank you.
Steelwhisper wrote: "I'm not sure I would. From the synopsis I don't get enough sense of how this has come to be as a dystopia, hence I'm a bit leery whether this isn't just piling it onto gay people.I also can see w..."
It's dystopian in the same way of 1984, The Handmaid's Tale, and Fahrenheit 451. It's not post-apocalyptic.
I take my definition to be:
Dystopia (n): a community or society that is in some important way undesirable or frightening. It is the opposite of a utopia.
http://writeworld.tumblr.com/post/411...
Is this the synopsis you're sending to agents/publishers, or a reader/publicity one?
This was just a blurb. This is the query letter I'm sending:Scientists have discovered the gay gene; known as Gene-x. People are no longer separated into gay and straight, but Positive and Negative based on the possession of this one gene. None of this makes sense to 5-year-old Blue Stevens as she is ripped from her bed in the dead of night. She and her same-sex parents are sent to live in a Compound; a city within walls meant to house dangerous persons who pose a threat to the General Population.
For ten years, life within the Compound continues without disruption. Blue is maturing and so are her friends Brenton and Trix. Blue feels alone as more of her classmates devote the majority of their time to internships. They are finding their careers and discovering who they want to be. Meanwhile, Blue is shifted from one work study to another. She yearns to do something that makes and impact.
Meanwhile, Brenton fights to keep his Bisexuality secret. Also known as Middlesex, it is seen as genetically impossible for Negative Brenton to be attracted to men. Generally, Middlesex is not tolerated by Positives or Negatives. Even Blue doesn’t know if she accepts her friend’s admission. It’s a dangerous secret the teenagers can only keep hidden for so long.
One day by the guard station, Blue is welcoming New Arrivals when a young man’s body is dumped at her feet. Joel Ostin offers her his hand and a bloody smile. He is rude, demanding, and stinks of the privilege of General Population. His appearance sparks change. More importantly, he knows something about Blue’s past that could be the key to their salvation. Something is stirring both inside and outside the Compound walls. The once ideal community is becoming polluted. Hate crimes are no longer a thing of the past.
A crack in the air. A puff of grey smoke. Two lumps of dead flesh are stuffed into nylon bags and heaved into the backs of transport vehicles. The fire. The gun. The bodies. The blood. Blue sees it all. A guard, hand still warm with gunpowder, leans in to whisper, “I’m going to let you go because of who you are, but I want you to remember all of this. Understood?”
Who are you? Where did you come from? Where are you going? The questions bombard Blue Stevens from every angle. For most teenagers, they are just questions. For Blue Stevens, her answers may change the fate of the entire world.
I think you have a few problems here. (I'm a commissioning editor at a largish publishing house, which is the basis of my comments.) - I have real problems believing in the 'gay gene'. I'm not saying you can't make it work in your book, but I'd honestly think hard about finding a different way of describing this in the synopsis because in all honesty it put me off in the first line. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what's getting you the insta-rejects.
As an editor, paras 4-6 are no help. I want to know what's changed, what's going on, and what Blue has to do with it. Tell me she escapes the compound, goes on the run, gets deadly secret knowledge, falls into a love triangle with the two boys, whatever. Basically, this query seems to explain the prologue, not the story. As Tara said, synopses should give answers, not questions.
That's my two pennorth based on total ignorance of your book, so take it as you will and I hope it's at least a little helpful. Good luck!
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Thank you! This has helped. I'm re-writing the query letter now. The setting is actually in a world that's parallel to ours. It isn't our direct future. I've made up my own continents that don't touch. My own religion that refuses to hate homosexuals. It's hard to describe without having someone read the entire MS.
Unfortunately you have to try to describe it in a way agents will understand. There is not an literary agent nor an aquiring agent who will read your whole MS to make a descision. They will read the synopsis, then if they life the story, they will read the first 500 to 3500 words. If the MS masses muster, the writing is clean, precise, age appropriate and intriguing, only then will they have someone read it.One question... if this is an alternate world, you could find your own variations of words to describe homosexuality. Also I didn't know this was an alternate world. That needs to be in the first para of your synopsis, and it will need to be in the first line of your book blurb.
P.S. Not responsible for spelling errors in this post... have not had coffee... still tired.
Also you may not want to use the word Middlesex. When I saw this, I groaned, and so would any agent or publisher. I am pretty sure using it in the context you are talking, would be a copyright infringement on Jeffrey's book. Unless using it to describe a place, since there are three cities with this name, and two counties.
Dill wrote: "It's hard to describe without having someone read the entire MS. "The wonderful world of synopsis. Sigh. I did a blog post on writing synopses, which you might find useful: https://kjcharleswriter.wordpress.com... but there's a ton more helpful stuff out there. Just keep in your audience in mind: this is you selling your story to the agent. Literary flights and dramatic tension have no place here.
Tara wrote: "Also you may not want to use the word Middlesex. When I saw this, I groaned, and so would any agent or publisher. I am pretty sure using it in the context you are talking, would be a copyright infr..."Yes, definitely this! And as a bisexual and genderqueer/genderfluid woman myself I would never describe myself as "Middlesex". That has the connotation of a physical state. Bisexuality is a sexual orientation and has little to do with the dangly bits you have.
My point about what dystopia you write was meant differently. We live in an era where it has come to be a relief for queer people to finally have physical traits proven which are laid down before birth. We also live in an era which sees a lot of tolerance for queer people in a broad base of the population.
So, if I were the agent I'd wonder just how you explain the negative facets of your dystopia regarding gay people. You don't (a gay gene is what everyone looks for as final proof at the moment, though it's not that easy AFAIK) show how logical such a dystopia is. If I was reading blurbs for SciFi LGBT YA, then logic would be a topmost must-have.
[Creeping out of lurkdom] I personally hate dystopian of any flavor and GLBTQ especially. This week in my Intro to LGBTQ class, the professor showed But I'm a Cheerleader. It's a story with a number of problems but the class overwhelmingly liked it. Why? Because it wasn't depressing or especially tragic. The message from my classmates was that they already know how difficult life can be as a minority, they'd rather escape in more positive environs.Or maybe it's just that finals are next week.
I wrote a book that is the first in a dystopian series centering around a future where homosexuality has been made illegal (synopsis below). I'm querying it now in different ways. Something interesting happened yesterday. I sent out two queries with LGBTQ included in the genre. Within an hour I received a rejection from one agent. The next one came thirty minutes later. This only happened with the two letters I sent using LGBTQ in the subject line. I'm not saying one caused the other. There are still several queries sent out.
De-Gay YA has been going on for a while now. As a writer, I've personally had problems with it in the past from publishers wanting me to change the sexual orientation of characters. "We don't want gay on gay crime" was a big issue. On the other hand, I have had a huge wave of positive feedback from sample chapters. Some literary agents argue that LGBT YA won't sell. Are you kidding me? Fine. Call it New Adult. Call it fiction. Call it a damn book. I am not changing the core themes of feminism and equal rights in the manuscript. I didn't write this manuscript to make money. I wrote it for every kid who has ever felt scared, alone, and different. Status: Positive is for the people who are literally dying to make a change. You are not alone. Having LGBTQ characters should be the norm and not the exception.
Here is a summary of the work in question:
Scientists have discovered the gay gene; known as Gene-x. People are no longer separated into gay and straight, but Positive and Negative based on the possession of this one gene. None of this makes sense to 5-year-old Blue Stevens as she is ripped from her bed in the dead of night. She and her same-sex parents are sent to live in a Compound; a city within walls meant to house dangerous persons who pose a threat to the General Population.
For ten years, life within the Compound continues without disruption. Blue is maturing and so are her friends Brenton and Trix. Blue feels alone as more of her classmates devote the majority of their time to internships. They are finding their careers and discovering who they want to be. Meanwhile, Blue is shifted from one work study to another. She yearns to do something that makes and impact.
Meanwhile, Brenton fights to keep his Bisexuality secret. Also known as Middlesex, it is seen as genetically impossible for Negative Brenton to be attracted to men. Generally, Middlesex is not tolerated by Positives or Negatives. Even Blue doesn’t know if she accepts her friend’s admission. It’s a dangerous secret the teenagers can only keep hidden for so long.
One day by the guard station, Blue is welcoming New Arrivals when a young man’s body is dumped at her feet. Joel Ostin offers her his hand and a bloody smile. He is rude, demanding, and stinks of the privilege of General Population. His appearance sparks change. More importantly, he knows something about Blue’s past that could be the key to their salvation. Something is stirring both inside and outside the Compound walls. The once ideal community is becoming polluted. Hate crimes are no longer a thing of the past.
A crack in the air. A puff of grey smoke. Two lumps of dead flesh are stuffed into nylon bags and heaved into the backs of transport vehicles. The fire. The gun. The bodies. The blood. Blue sees it all. A guard, hand still warm with gunpowder, leans in to whisper, “I’m going to let you go because of who you are, but I want you to remember all of this. Understood?”
Who are you? Where did you come from? Where are you going? The questions bombard Blue Stevens from every angle. For most teenagers, they are just questions. For Blue Stevens, her answers may change the fate of the entire world.
This is a complicated post that leads to one essential question; would you read it?
***Thank you for any reader comments on the issue***
For more information, please see my scribd profile and blog:
Read the first four chapters of Status: Positive here
http://www.scribd.com/doc/189660842/S...
http://dillwerner.blogspot.com