Books on the Nightstand discussion
Booktopia General Discussions
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Booktopians, what do you think of this idea?
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Ann, you and Michael go above and beyond. I think if all of us who have been before can take a minute to introduce ourselves to people we don't know and invite them to join us--even if we're hanging with our old friends (or moms and aunts)--it may resolve itself. I am introverted (really) but I will do my best.
(And I was a first timer last year and I came home with several new friends!)
Sorry. I was in no way implying that I need to be taken care of at Booktopia. Just stating my experience.
This will be my fourth year attending, I always come alone and I always make new friends. Everyone is always so friendly and I don't think we need to try too hard to come up with a plan. I think the Friday night gathering works just fine!
Mod
Thanks Debbie for this very honest statement. Just the fact that you attended 3 Booktopias by yourself tells me you are more outgoing than I am. It is difficult to just walk up to a group and say "hey, can I join you?" so we all need to be a bit more aware of those singles and seek them out in social situations. It's wonderful to meet up with old friends but nice to make some new ones too. Hope to get to talk to you more if you are attending this year. I love company so please feel free to join me.
Mod
Carol wrote: "The Friday night gathering IS a great place to meet new people so be there and mingle. Introduce yourself to someone you don't know and make new friends."Agree!
I think if I were attending a Booktopia event by myself I would love a mechanism to be included in a (especially!) dinner group. I've attended many other types of conferences on my own throughout the years and sometimes it is very easy to find a compatible group for meals, while other times I've resorted to pizza delivery or ordering room service. Developing new friendships over meals is more fun!
It's a great idea if anyone is interested in putting something together--so long as it doesn't require Ann and Michael's work. It could be hard to find a restaurant that can accommodate a large group but maybe a large group is broken down into smaller groups and someone is responsible for looking for (a) restaurant(s). This Goodreads group could be used as a starting point, so long as people are able to join up on-site if they want.
I think one of the things I looked forward to as a first timer ( & to be fair I will have a friend with me), was for it to not be overly planned & chosen ahead of time….picking a place to eat for a group then, to me, becomes an issue of it being someone else's idea & what about the cost? I like to be somewhat spontaneous….I know we will meet people & if we feel a connection at some point, we can say hey-want to join us for lunch/dinner/a glass of wine? I personally do not want to feel like everyone has already picked a restaurant & if a few of us don't want to do that, we will be the ones who feel like we are left out…I want to walk around & see what is there & pick & choose what we want to do & hopefully feel a connection with some other people….
2014 will be my first Booktopia. I'd actually prefer things not to be over-scripted. My husband will be tagging along, but not doing any book things. So I will need to check in with him occasionally. Plus, I'm hoping for some "down time" to browse and read. In my busy life, eating a meal alone has become a luxury.
I'll be in an interesting situation. My husband is coming to Asheville with me (we live in Atlanta, just a few hours away, and have visited Asheville and surrounding areas many times), but he isn't attending Booktopia. I'll have him around as a dinner partner, but I also want to meet other Booktopia people. He'll probably be pursing his own agenda, such as hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains, during the day, so I"ll be "forced" to be outgoing and look for social opportunities with the other attendees for lunch, etc. My husband certainly wouldn't mind joining me if I make connections for a night out, as long as a non-reader is welcome! I guess I'll be playing it by ear, trying to make sure we have time together but also taking advantage of the opportunity to meet new people and talk about books.
Well it's a ways off but I volunteer to organize a meetup on the Thursday night prior to Booktopia Asheville.
As I recall, those Mint Julep-y things (or whatever they were ... one too many??) at the Friday night event in Oxford were terrific social lubrication! As well as the Yankee Book Swap. I'm a confirmed introvert - and I think many serious readers are. But when we can all talk about books ... no problem.
I think people are confusing being an introvert with a natural hesitancy to insert oneself into an already formed group. Being an introvert does not mean you can't introduce yourself, meet others etc. But some -including me- just are very hesitant to ask to join in.
Debbie wrote: "I think people are confusing being an introvert with a natural hesitancy to insert oneself into an already formed group. Being an introvert does not mean you can't introduce yourself, meet others e..."Not to mention that some introverts prefer smaller groups, some introverts are incredibly sensitive to others' emotions and concerned about overstepping... and some extroverts have similar difficulties. I personally found the Friday night gathering to be the most intimidating thing ever. My personal scariest moments are the ones where there are big groups of people, some of whom already know each other (or seem to!), but where there isn't a distinct role for me. I totally understand how others wouldn't feel that way though, or who wouldn't want to add to the already busy weekend by having more organized activities.
Suzanne, that's awesome of you, and I expect I'd be able to help you out...
I found Friday night at Bellingham to be intimidating, too, yet I knew at least a dozen people in the room and the Yankee Swap had been a lot of fun in the afternoon. I think it was the size of the group--I kind of freeze in large groups unless I'm the organizer or I have a specific job.
Petoskey has been my one & only Booktopia event. Circumstances prevent me from attending in 2014. I envy anyone who is going this year whether or not it is your first time. The fear of the unknown always causes some hesitation, but I have absolutely no regrets. The common love of books created a bond & I enjoyed every group session. I was amazed at how quickly I bonded with folks. I made friends that I still chat with by various means. Don't think twice, jump in & enjoy!
I am bummed to be unable to attend Booktopia. However, here is a "Keep It Simply Simple" idea. Determine a meeting place. Keep it the same throughout Booktopia. Before each meal have a returning volunteer hold a sign for food type or restaurant name. New and returning members can choose which group to join. At the restaurant break into smaller groups (if necessary) with an equal mix or returning and new attendees. Give it a time limit - like 20 minutes after sessions end so no one misses a meal. Missing a meal is never my priority. :)
Kalen wrote: "It could be hard to find a restaurant that can accommodate a large group..."Ask someone about the legendary large-group dinner in Manchester ... at a place apparently unaccustomed to groups!
Mod
Actually, Michael and I are hosting a "Books and Wine at 9 (pm)" meetup in Asheville (unofficial, meaning that you all run your own tab), so hopefully that will help.
Personally, as a first-timer in Bellingham, I thought the Yankee Swap was a nice way to break the ice, introduce ourselves, talk about our book choices, and steal each others picks! There were some volumes exchanged that I was convinced would start a full-on cage match fight (book nerd style). Very fun!
If you are going to Booktopia Boulder and you are local to the area, please see this thread: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/.... I am trying to put together a pre-Booktopia lunch but so far there are only four of us!
Vermont 2013 was my first Booktopia event and I found everyone to be very kind and welcoming. I was a bit overwhelmed by the whole event so I tended to keep to myself. Finding the different locations the first day was a bit stressful as I wasn't familiar with the area but I made it to every event I signed up for. I'll be back this year and look forward to seeing some familiar faces and being more engaged now that I'm not a "newbie".
Thanksf or understanding.