What do you think of Gauri's character?

[Kathy]

Gauri is a complex character. Psychologically speaking, she was a child who was left by her parents, and I was not surprised by her inability to mother a child of her own - especially after she experienced the trauma and disillusionment associated with her marriage. In her first marriage, when she had finally overcome her isolation and given her trust and heart to another, she was betrayed and abandoned, finally by the cruelest and most traumatic measures, and left to deal with her own guilt alone. What could have been healing became even more destruction in her life - making her unable to open her heart to a new husband and child. She could have learned to love and mother within that first marriage, had it not been so traumatic. I wasn't surprised that she found refuge in her intellect and the coldness of complete separation from the hope of love in any relationship where she could again experience complete loss. Reaching out to her daughter at the end of her life represented the faint yearning that remained within, but she had no concept of the bewildering loss her daughter had experienced because it recapitulated her own, and she had no words or experience with dealing with her own losses other than to escape from them. My guess is that the tragedy for Gauri is that she completely understood in a deeply visceral way her daughter's reaction to her when she returned. It left her in a state of total despair with a desire for self-immolation...and sadly, she and the readers believed she deserved it.

[Kat]

Kathy, thats yet another interesting intepretation of Guari. I like it a lot. Its been a month since I finished this book, but the character of Guari keeps coming back to me. With very spare wording the author builds a huge complex life that is a bit different for every reader. You are right that she never let anyone near her heart again, and was unequiped completely to deal with emotion. She is an expert in philosophy and I wish I knew more about the field she studied because I am uncertain if this huge understanding of that part of philosophy helped or hindered her in dealing with the tragedy of her disasterous personal life. Even though she had a professionally successful life. There are so many people like her, out there!

[Malathi]

What Gauri's character means to me:

Even though I was bewildered by Gauri's controversial and irreversible choice regarding Bela -- the one choice that was finally truly hers to make, own, and live by, however controversial and irreversible -- and every fiber in my body rebelled against it, I came to understand that this is the punishment she metes out to herself and her kind. Painful though it is, the logic of depriving your own flesh and blood what was deprived by you to another offspring's life, seeps through, and I came to understand that this is only way in which Gauri redeems herself.

One of the strongest and most interesting female characters in South Asian diasporic fiction, Gauri may be somewhat flawed but she comes equipped with her own internal moral compass. (For the two children whose adversity she feels responsible for, she balances out by teaching college kids.) Her strength comes from her willingness to be alone (as her own self-imposed punishment whether she articulates it to herself or not; whether she admits it or not), to take the more difficult and less-trodden (and near-empty) path, and to live out her life on her own terms even if it means being alone with her own thoughts, fears and regrets.

For more: http://malathi-writersblock.blogspot....

[Arula]

I think that Gauri acted the way she did because of how she attached Bela with her past. During her period of many transitions--in husbands, countries, her"Americanization," etc.--her unborn child was the only thing that remained constant. That's why she had such an apathy towards her daughter. Also, she married Subhash out of gratitude, not love, and out of haste and convenience as well. Those three are not good foundations to build a marriage upon, as they focus on short term relief, and eventually would act as obstacles towards what she wanted to do. I mean, it's obvious from the beginning that she was very "unconventional" juxtaposed with the stay-at-home wife Indian norm, and her path as a wife and mother was just not to be.

[Piyali]

I was quite taken aback by the character of Gauri in this book. Gauri is quite an epitome of what many Indian women go through even today, forced to live stereotypical life. And may god forbid it, if they happen to choose to move to 'America' with a husband, they are expected to remain indebted for life. Gauri breaks out of the mold and gives herself the option of leading her own life. Let's not forget the fact that she wasn't someone looking for adventure or excitement. Instead she was looks for fulfillment of her inherent self - that of a scholar. It may be considered unnatural for a mother to abandon her daughter the way Gauri did, but had Subhash not been the father he was, Gauri's character would never have taken such a radical decision. Gauri trusted Subhash with her daughter.

Gauri's is a brave character that is willing to live life on her terms.

[Chelsea]

Gauri is neither good, nor bad. She lived her life in a series of mistakes, and the decisions she made are all she knew. She ran away from conflict and emotion, thinking this was the best way to deal with trauma. But over and over again she learned that running is not a solution, that problems will follow you wherever you go, and often, once you've decided to run away, you cannot return.

I think each of the characters in this story is selfish, yet each disguised their motives. Subhash desired a normal life and a closeness to Udayan and used "rescuing" Gauri as an excuse to attain that. Gauri wanted her own life as an intellectual, without Bela and Subhash, so she left and used being an unfit mother as an excuse.

It's a human flaw, I think, to believe we can deal with problems on our own, without the support of others. We often think our personal traumas need to be dealt with personally. But at what cost? We do not realize how often our desire to be independent affects the people who love us and want to care for and support us.

[Sumita]

Initially, I felt no sympathy at all for Gauri. She came across as a very self-centered lady. But as the novel progressed, I realised that Gauri loved Udayan and only him. Subhash seemed like an escape route to her. Even though she tried her best to change her feelings for Subhash, but she failed. Similarly, her daughter Bela came into this world, when both Udayan and Gauri didn't plan for a child. Udayan's demise, Subhash's entry into Gauri's life, Bela's birth - all of this was unplanned for. Gauri was just not ready for it.

[Elia]

I read this book wanting to like it. I stayed with it even after I was sure that there were more reasons why I disliked it than there were convincing ones. But for me the problem became an issue I deal with on a daily basis. As a human being, as a woman, as a mother, I have always felt, and feel very strongly, that NO ONE ever asked to be born, thus we owe each and every person brought into this world love,shelter,food,warmth. And if we can't do it, then we MUST find someone to do it for us. Thank God Subhash was there for Bela. But Guari failed at her job.
I thought Guari was a ONE dimensional character who was self-serving and lacking in deep feelings. On the other hand, Subhash was willing to put his own needs aside for the needs of Bela, loving her above all.

[Leslie]

Interesting reading all the comments. I agree with those who were disappointed. I appreciate what Lahiri was trying to do, but she was unable to make the characters sympathetic enough to make the reader care.

Any book where a mother leaves her children is bound to be controversial. I haven't read The Hours, but how about Loving Frank? My bookclub was hotly divided on whether to love or hate the main character for leaving her family to be with her soul mate.

[Benedict]

Guari is given to intellect and of learning she handles the toughest of subjects - Philosophy. Being given to such intense procivity to thought material you cant expect Gauri to live a normal life.

[Jeff]

Gauri is a fascinating character. She was herself abandoned by her own parents and again by her one great love. She jumped at the chance to leave traditional Indian ways and flee to America. Influenced by the counter culture she quickly cuts her hair and sheds her sari. She saw that Subhash was a better parent and Bela clearly favored him. She felt isolated and alone in Rhode Island and knew she could live that way. All these factors are in line with her decision to do what most people think is the unthinkable act of leaving a child.

Others have brought up the character from The Hours who abandoned her child, but what about comparisons to that other literary character who does the same, Anna Karenina?

[Biswajit]

I Truely think with the character of Gauri the Author (Definately supremly talented and one of my fav's) went too far to create a Dark...Haunting Psychological mood for the story.
I truely believe given any situation a women can abondon...Hunsband..Family ..anything...but not a Child.
Thou her mentality is explained and all the twisted facts laid out(trying to justify) in the very end...nothings comforts the scared..shattered heart of a reader or any individual..of the horror and trauma created by this character when she leaves Bela...
I don't think such a character can ever exist in real life..and that's what takes this book down to good...and not great!

[JWReads]

SPOILER ALERT!! - some content revealed below -->
Seems to me that many misunderstand Gauri, although she's not a particularly sympathetic character. When Gauri first met Udayan, she was prepared to lead a solitary, academic life, it's true. Gauri married Udayan with misgiving because they had to live with his unaccepting parents; Gauri wished from the beginning that they didn't have to go live in Tollygunge with his elders.

Gauri indicates her surprise (and some small gratitude) that Subhash is willing to cook and clean. Gauri admits (to herself) that Udayan, despite affecting a more modern view of life and marriage, still expected his wife to cook, clean and serve him. Udayan "comforts" Gauri by saying that some day she'll get help from Subhash's wife. Gauri wonders when or if that day will come.

The big issue, though, is that Udayan essentially betrayed her by involving her in the murder of Nirmal Dey, the policeman with a young son. When the cops and paramilitary take Udayan away, he sees that Gauri has hardened her heart to him, and Gauri feels intense feelings, thinking to herself that her legs could not hold her up. Later, after the police interrogate her, she realizes she doesn't know who Nirmal Dey is but suspects. And she confirms, yes, it is the police man that she witnessed while tutoring the kids when she returns briefly to the neighborhood.

I think Gauri's subsequent life-long behavior is totally related to her guilt, shame, fear and intense anger at being made an accessory to murder. Yes, she agreed to play this role for Udayan and his political group, but nonetheless, Udayan was not straightforward about the ultimate goal of murdering the cop that Guari was asked to watch. Imagine how you might feel under similar circumstances!

Guari escapes, essentially, to America, because what are her choices? She is still fearful of being caught, even decades later when a student asks her about the Naxalite rebellion in Calcutta of the 1960s. Guari keeps reviewing the Internet to see if any information ever turns up about Udayan's role in murdering Nirmal Dey and whether there are police records or not. For better or worse, the Calcutta PD cover up of Udayan's execution works in Guari's favor. Guari only acknowledges Subhash as her husband to the student, never referring to Udayan.

The reason why she cuts her hair and Indian saris early on in Rhode Island is to "escape" herself from who she was and what she did. Guari's whole life - after Udayan's execution - is one of constantly running away from herself and her guilt, shame, fear over her involvement in a heinous crime.

Guari runs away from Subhash because he reminds her constantly of Udayan, as does Bela. Plus, yes, Gauri did have the underlying impulse to lead a solitary, academic, ivory tower life. So running away to an academic life was not a hardship, but it did serve as a means to escape, in part, her past and who she used to be.

When Gauri returns to Calcutta later in life, her impulse is to commit suicide, like the former Naxalite leader (forget name). Again, it's her guilt and shame at having been involved in a murder. In some ways, Gauri really didn't "get away with it." It is something that haunts her life, no matter how much she tries. The final words from Bela - you are nothing! - is the impetus to send Gauri to Calcutta to finally stand and remember HER actions - as well as Udayan's - and confront what that means to her. She contemplates suicide but decides against it and returns to the USA.

Guari has some hope towards the end with her granddaughter's possible wish to remain in contact with Guari and perhaps to see her again. At this point, this is something that gives Gauri a reason to continue living.

I didn't like Gauri much, as she was dour and made many seemingly bad decisions. Running out on her child was exceedingly selfish - even if understandable - as well as cruel. Gauri's actions were often cowardly and self-serving, for sure. But in light of how Udayan essentially used and abused her, well... I can see reasons and logic for Guari's motivations and subsequent choices.

I didn't love this book, but I found it more interesting than some have. In particular, I found Guari - while mostly unappealing, frustrating and annoying - to be quite interesting. I don't need characters that I can relate to. I find it stimulating to contemplate a character like Guari and try to figure out what makes her "tick."

What would YOU do under the same circumstances? How would YOU cope? It was not an easy life and not really something that Guari asked for.

[Sabita]

Is there compulsion for a lady to have vegetarian foods during funeral ceremony of her husband's death? Aren't they Udayan's parents? If they could eat delicious ,nutrious , meaty food why not Gauri? When a wife is death, a husband could easily get second marriage but the society donot raise the question. So, why for Gauri? Isn't she a human. Is looking and nurturing after child is responsiblity of only mother? Not father? What Gauri did was right. Author had had given justice to character Gauri from my perspective. Salaute to Jhumpa Lahari.

[Eilagh]

Sabita wrote: "Is there compulsion for a lady to have vegetarian foods during funeral ceremony of her husband's death? Aren't they Udayan's parents? If they could eat delicious ,nutrious , meaty food why not Gaur..."

Well said Sabita!

[Amitabh]

If the writer of the novel were a male I would have not believed that it was possible for a mother to leave a child. When Gauri's mother-in-law expressed her opinion about Gauri's unable to be a good mother,I brushed off her thoughts as someone who thinks that women should be of a certain type to be a successful mother.
But the writer is a woman herself and Gauri's mother-in-law was correct. That is the reason Gauri's character shook me up. I could not understand why she could not love Subhash who sacrificed his personal life so that Gauri's doesn't have to face the tortures and discrimination widows have to face.She could not love even her daughter either. It is not as if Gauri was not able to love. I believe she had really loved Udayan. The fact that there is no explanation for Gauri's behavior makes the book and the character very impactful but it also makes us predict the reason why she did it. Had she got too much disturbed because of Udayan's death? Did she not forget her love for Udayan and hence could not love Subash? This leads us to think whether Subhash did the right thing by marrying Gauri. Are there more Gauri's around us? The person who loves someone so much that they cannot love anyone ever again. Even if there are we will never know.

[Eilagh]

Good comment Amitabh :)

[pritimoy]

I don't like Gauri at all.

[Mampi]

No matter what happens to her,I couldn't stop hating her for doing that to Bela.When she was with she couldn't stand her,felt her as a burden.Her behavior towards Bella made her traumatized for whole life.Because of her mother,Bella stopped trusting anyone and never let herself to fall in love.She didn't only kill that Police officer,but also killed Bela's happiness and her spirit.

[Sanjukta]

Gauri's character did strike as strange to me. Her detachment from her family is quite disconcerting. However, I could relate to her commitment towards her research, indeed such kind of involvement makes one wish to get immersed in work and not to be bothered by petty worries.
Nevertheless her neglect for her daughter was unpardonable. Even lack of sympathy for her second husband does indicate a very complex psychological crisis in her mind. Which could have been triggered by the shock of losing her first husband.
These are complex twists and turns of human mind, beyond any rational explanation. Very well captured by the author.