UK Amazon Kindle Forum discussion
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Dos and don'ts of promoting on Goodreads groups
Ah, okay. Just come from the thread started by the shameless my-relative's-dying-so-buy-my-book self-promoter. Had wandered into it after the original post was deleted and what remained made about as much sense as I did Saturday evening after six hours of watching rugby and swilling beer. It's all a little clearer now.
The batteries in my remote control are dying, so buy my book.That'll work, right?
Our threads are meant to make sense???My condolences, Andrew. I'm sure they had good innings.
They had a good life on the whole, my demands on them were untaxing. I used them to flip between BBC 1, 2, 3 and Film 4, with occasional Dave when I felt like watching Red Dwarf but was too lazy to fetch the DVD boxset from the shelf. Sometimes, I'd adjust the volume, or maybe switch input from the Sky box to the PS3, but I always gave them plenty of notice, and they had 40 hours a week off while I was at work.But even so, they have feelings, and dignity, even in the latter stages of their decline. Buy my books. Do it for the batteries.
Andrew wrote: "The batteries in my remote control are dying, so buy my book.That'll work, right?"
You're remotely controlled?
Andy wrote: "Andrew wrote: "The batteries in my remote control are dying, so buy my book.That'll work, right?"
You're remotely controlled?"
Only my cybernetic arms, with plasma rifle attachments... which can get messy when I get the remote mixed up with the Sky+ controller, I can tell you.
Andy wrote: "Battery farm: http://idiottoys.com/category/batteries/"The internet is endlessly fascinating. Or not.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "Andy wrote: "Battery farm: http://idiottoys.com/category/batteries/"The internet is endlessly fascinating. Or not."
So it's like Scroedinger's cat, then?
Andrew wrote: "They had a good life on the whole, my demands on them were untaxing. I used them to flip between BBC 1, 2, 3 and Film 4, with occasional Dave when I felt like watching Red Dwarf but was too lazy to..."You may not realize this, Andrew, but you're hardly alone. All over the world, thousands of batteries are weakening and dying every day. Then they are callously discarded. It is tragic. Buy my books.
I tried a line on the americans:'Sense of humour required. Not included in purchase.'
Didn't work.
Although, to be fair to the species, my only review to date from a genuine American begins with the spiffing line: "If Douglas Adams and Samuel Beckett were to ever have had a child, it would probably be an abomination of science that lies jibbering in a forgotten corner somewhere."I think it was a compliment. I think...
It is a good line, complimentary or not :-)
Yep, finding the thread you want can be a bit confusing at first.It'll become second nature with a bit of practice. :)
Patti (baconater) wrote: "Yep, finding the thread you want can be a bit confusing at first.It'll become second nature with a bit of practice. :)"
In a year or two you'll be really slick and proficient ;-)
Jim wrote: "Patti (baconater) wrote: "Yep, finding the thread you want can be a bit confusing at first.It'll become second nature with a bit of practice. :)"
In a year or two you'll be really slick and prof..."
And then you can keep me company in the Sin Bin
It's been raining on and off today, and I didn't bring a coat to work. I'm also wearing very new shoes, and I'm a bit worried they'll get muddy on the walk home. Buy my books.I'd like to be slick and proficient. At the moment I just go to the GR front page whenever I want to burble, and then look at the recent threads bit for something I can burble on. I'm a dazzling success on every forum I visit, it goes without saying...
I've managed to get my children's book onto Smashwords now, although without the illustrations at this point.I'll try a fresh edition shortly for that.
But I did notice that the category self amended to 'Christian & religious' from 'children's fantasy'. I had to go and alter that.
Will wrote: "But I did notice that the category self amended to 'Christian & religious' from 'children's fantasy'."Same thing, surely...
*hides out in ruined monastery to evade pitchfork-wielding mob*
I was thinking exactly the same thing, Andrew. ;)
Patti needs to hide in a monastery from a mob?What exactly did she do to that hotel before leaving then?
We're still in the villa. We leave for Bangkok tomorrow.
Will wrote: "I tried a line on the americans:'Sense of humour required. Not included in purchase.'
Didn't work."
This American got it!
And thanks for the chuckles--this might just be the funniest thread I've wandered across in quite a while!
Hello historical fans,I have joined in with the groups here since my first ebook was released 26th April - so I guess I'm a newee!
I've updated my Goodreads blog with excerpts and wondered whether anyone could give me some feedback on my new novella to be released in the next few weeks called Heart of Oak. It's a story about a company of British Marines (sent behind enemy lines) helping to free the Maltese Islands from the French, 1799.
Best wishes - David
Did you actually read this thread, David? :)
Was he supposed to? And would it have helped if he had?
Haha, Will.Perhaps he'd have known to look for an appropriate place to promote if he had.
Okay, first time posting here. Newbie to the group and having read most of this thread I'd like to say a few things.1 - I'm an American and all you people over in the UK are apparently crazy.
2 - Please don't ever change I'm loving every second of this thread.
3 - Here's my contribution to the nonsense "Buy my book or the teddy bear gets it!" (Yes, this is what some of us are like over in the United States. How else could we have had George Bush in the White House for 8 years -- sincerest apologies for that fiasco)
Allan wrote: Buy my book or the teddy bear gets it!Can I have a link and a picture of the bear... Normally I would save the bear but it will depend on his/her picture. ;-)
You don't want to get an ugly one, Michelle! ;)
Exactly I have a high standard for my teddy bears I don't want to regret my decision to spare it's life
This reminds me of the supernatural episode where the teddy bear commits suicide. Such a funny episodehttp://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dEQMI53cOsI
This teddyhttp://fluffyteddybears.files.wordpre...
or this one...
http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16...
Michelle wrote: "Allan wrote: Buy my book or the teddy bear gets it!Can I have a link and a picture of the bear... Normally I would save the bear but it will depend on his/her picture. ;-)"
Here's the bear in question Michelle. He's obnoxious so I may let him have it anyway...
http://www.cafepress.com/+youre_ugly_...
Allan wrote: "Michelle wrote: "Allan wrote: Buy my book or the teddy bear gets it!Can I have a link and a picture of the bear... Normally I would save the bear but it will depend on his/her picture. ;-)"
Here'..."
Stop flattering the Brits here, Allan. They already feel superior. Besides, Patti's Canadian, which makes her almost as bad as us.
Don't care if you shoot the bear or not. Now, if you'd threatened a Paddington Bear, I'd have said go for it and post video of the execution!
Oh, and welcome. ;-)
Thanks David. Actually I had originally thought of threatening Teddy Ruxpin, which would probably be a huge hint that I've been around since the 70s and 80s.As for Paddington, I think he's cool.
Will wrote: "Don't post enormous blurbs, running into 20 plus lines of text.No one will ever read it.
Short and snappy, and if it's funny even better"
A newbie looking for advice on book promoting. This is helpful. Ta!
Andrew wrote: "To paraphrase that quintessential marketing genius, Al Capone: "You can get further with a kind word and an Amazon link than you can with an Amazon link alone."Don't treat groups as a database of..."
Another good one. Thanks. (And you ARE beautiful).
A.L. wrote: "I have actually seen advice saying spamming is good. Mention your book as often and to as many people as possible. Off hand I can't remember where I saw it, a blog post I think. It is bad advice in..."Thanks for yours. I'm actually a seasoned ghost-writer, but am now putting out my own book on Kindle and its the promotional stuff that is freaking me out - I haven't got a clue and everywhere I look there is conflicting advice. This thread is helpful though. ;)
Heath wrote: "Reviews are great to receive and a little nerve-wracking as well as you tentatively begin to read them. I think once you have a handful of reviews then it doesn't really reflect in more sales neces..."Here here!
Fly by posts.Hmm.
Well, I do like to talk to folks.
Is there a hatred for an American guy from the east coast who has a dream of writing for a living? Can i say hello? Meet folks, try to reach across the oceans, in the hopes of not only making a few new friends, but share my work as well?
Besides, I despise flying...:)
No hatred at all. We all like to chat - that helps us to get to know one another. :)
well good. I have enough enemies at home...:)
I am curious....how or where would one tell folks from across the pond about their work?
Scroll done the home page and you'll find where to open your author thread.Reading the 'please read this before...' threads will give you guidance.
And welcome, G!
It's also useful to say hello in the introduction thread. And don't forget to give links to Amazon UK since this is a UK based group. See you around!
UK Amazon Kindle Forum
Books mentioned in this topic
Raised by Hand, Lifted by the Tides: A Southern Child's Memoir (other topics)The Silver Eggheads (other topics)
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