Beta Reader Group discussion
Authors Seeking FREE Betas
>
Beta reader for first chapter
date
newest »
newest »
The prologue is 500 words and the first chapter is about 1,700 so all together it's 5 pages
I'd like to check it out. Do you have a word document that you could email? harrynelson8@gmail.com
thank you very much. Yes I do :) I'll send it your way now
David,Paragraph 2 is pivotal. What kind of character is this king? Is he smart? Ruthless? All talk? Once foolish but now becoming more aware?
At first my impression was the last one, but judging by his ruthless behavior at the end of the prologue I think paragraph 2 mischaracterizes the king. This is the part I question
"To where? The king wondered. Didn’t she know that it was unsafe to travel unsupervised when the kingdom was so close to war? Who knew how many traitors hid in the city walls ready to slit the throat of any unfortunate noble caught unaware? Much less a member of the royal family. At any rate what Queen of good morals would be caught anywhere but in her king’s bed after midnight?"
I don't think he'd wonder... I thing he'd immediately assume (or know). It would still be a bitter sting though.
What do you think of writing that part as if he is instantly seized by the thought of his queen's treason. Remove the questions "to where?" And "didn't she know?" And replace with "he knew all too well where..." And "he knew she knew better..." That would characterize him as a cunning and cutthroat king. (He could still love her and yet have all these feelings too).
Hi :)
Looking for someone to read the prologue and first chapter of the current fantasy novel I'm writing for nano. Thanks :)
It has been 10,000 years since the human child Sonny Peterson saved the world of Ethoria from eternal destruction. But now Ethoria is once again engulfed in a cloud of war and evil. When the warlock assassin Morteus fails to kill the Queen of Auron he drawn into a world of dark secrets and ancient prophecies. Will he and the Queen be able to save their world or will it be torn asunder forever?