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When to share manuscript with people depicted in it?
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Susan
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Nov 09, 2013 07:45AM
When is the right time to share your memoir manuscript with the people depicted in it? I’m just about finished with the second draft of my manuscript and will soon start sending queries to agents. My husband has read both drafts but the friends in my story have not seen it. I know this draft will require much more editing – whether I find a publisher or self-publish – and I’m curious as to whether or I should aim to share this early draft (or at least the portions of it relevant to certain individuals) or wait until it’s more polished. FYI: No one is portrayed negatively.
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After getting my first self-help memoir on personal growth through travel to what sounds like your level of editing, I sent printed copies to the members of the travel group who I could find. I had used different names than their real names, and asked in a personal letter to each, if they wanted their real name used or to keep the one I had substituted. I also asked if they wanted any part of my version of them changed. I sent money for them to return their copy to me. Every one of the people I contacted returned the manuscript with their comments or edits. This allowed me to accept that they were OK with what I wrote about them.
I also put a disclaimer in the front of my book that all names were not the real names.
By doing this at the early stage I didn't have to worry about name changes and other edits later.
Hope this helps.
I also put a disclaimer in the front of my book that all names were not the real names.
By doing this at the early stage I didn't have to worry about name changes and other edits later.
Hope this helps.
SusanCouldn't tell you when, if, you should share with people actually depicted. I do know, the one woman I blasted in the memoir I wrote, showed up at a book signing (my aunt) because someone thought I'd love to see her. Oy. Fortunately, it was a book signing for another book.
LET ME WARN EVERYONE:Changing names (be it in a memoir or in a novel that is inspired by (a) real person(s) IS NOT ENOUGH! The person(s) have to be obscured, so that they cannot be recognized.
When I started writing again, 6 years ago, I carelessly started writing a short-story, which turned into a novel. The first 1/3 of the novel is true, but I would never be able to prove it. The remaining 2/3 are fiction. I thought it would be enough to change names and put a disclaimer in front of the story.
Luckily, I consulted a lawyer, and when his info turned out devastating, I consulted two more lawyers. Same answers! Unless I can obscure the protagonists, they (or their heirs) can sue me for every penny I have.
In the case of my novel, it, unfortunally, is impossible to obscure the male protagonist, because of the historic background of the novel. (You might as well write a book about a half-black American president and claim the protagonist is not modeled after Pres. Obama.) Thus, my novel can never be published. Actually, I was informed that even handing it to a friend to read would legally be considered "published".
So please don't any of you make the same mistake. Before starting any writing project, make sure you won't run into this problem. Either get written permission (which you won't get when the person is unfavorably portrayed) or think BEFORE writing how you will obscure him/her so that you won't be sued.
And remember something else: Anybody can sue anybody for anything anytime, no matter how valid or invalid their cause. Even if they don't win the lawsuit, fending it off can drain all your assets.
What Lilo says is true. But I would also put forth that -- if you are writing a memoir -- and what you write is the truth... you cannot be sued for the truth. No, actually, (as Lilo pointed out) you can be sued, though not successfully... if the information you print is true. Am I right? Lilo?
Russ wrote: "What Lilo says is true. But I would also put forth that -- if you are writing a memoir -- and what you write is the truth... you cannot be sued for the truth. No, actually, (as Lilo pointed out) ..."You are almost right, Russ. In theory, you cannot be successfully sued if what you write is true. However, Justitia is quite often blind.
Besides, I do not know if the "burden of proof" lies with the plaintiff or with the defendant. This could make quite a difference. And again, what if you win the case and it has drained all your assets?
So you definitely don't want to get sued by someone who is filthy rich. He'll drain your assets regardless of who wins.
One more caveat: Mixing fiction with a true story is rarely a good idea (the lawyers I consulted told me), for it can easily get you into a legal quagmire.
Are any of you aware of the lawsuit that followed the memoir "Running with Scissors". The badly portrayed, rather crazy (oh, my God! I hope he doesn't sue me) psychiatrist sued the author, claiming that he had exaggerated the psychiatrist's weird behavior. The case was settled out of court. With the book being a bestseller, the psychiatrist probably milked the author quite a bit.
Btw, "Running with Scissors", by Augusten Burroughs, is an interesting read, but not everybody might be able to stomach the very explicit homosexual rape scene and some of the other descriptions of very gross activities. I am not overly sensitive, but this book was a bit too repulsive for me. I am glad, however, that the author, who had such a terrible childhood, has become a successful writer.Augusten Buroughs, btw, is the brother of John Elder Robison, who has written "Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's", which I consider a must-read for anyone who is interested to learn about this condition.
Wow -- Lilo!What eye-opening...ly(?) excellent points. Makes a lot of sense. Now I've gotta start rewriting, or hope my memoir never becomes popular or even widely read. (Which is fine, striving for obscurity I find is soooo much easier than that other thing.)
Russ
Thanks for the warnings. Fortunately, my book is pretty mild in its descriptions -- no one is portrayed as crazy -- but since I'm including a lot of attributed dialogue, I know I need to be careful.
It should be noted in this discussion of the law that the measure of damages for defamation/libel in most states is actual financial losses suffered as a result of the defamation/libel. So, defaming someone in a way which does not cause them any actual loss may result in a law suit in which the plaintiff prevails but only collects $1.00. There is an exception called "libel per se", in which punitive damages may be assessed, but it is generally limited to defaming a licensed professional as to his/her professional reputation.One of my memoirs includes some pretty nasty, but true, stuff about a fellow attorney. I gave him notice and changed the name, but did little to disguise his identity. He knew an action against me and the publisher would be fruitless, because truth is a full defense.
Here's my recent experience: before publishing "The Road to Kidneyville - A Journey Through Diabetes, Dialysis, and Transplant", I contacted each doctor, nurse, family member and friend who was named in the book. I asked them to sign a form giving me permission to use their name. I supplied the form (a rather generic thing, copied from one I found on the internet), and offered each one the opportunity to see the manuscript, or at least the portion of it that included them. Two doctors did not respond. One had retired and could not be located. One nurse practitioner said "no", that she did not wish to be named. For each of these, I changed the manuscript and omitted their names. All others were very encouraging and made positive comments and signed/returned the forms, which I am keeping in a file.The final chapter involved interviews with other folks who'd received kidney transplants, and I obtained release forms from them at the time of the interviews.
As a form of thanks, I mailed or gave each person who signed the form a copy of the paperback book after it was published.
I had read a lot of opinions online about whether these forms were legally necessary, and the general consensus seemed to be that telling the truth wouldn't get me in trouble. No one is defamed in my book, but "discretion is the better part of valor", someone said, so I took the cautious route and got the forms.
Jeffrey wrote: "It should be noted in this discussion of the law that the measure of damages for defamation/libel in most states is actual financial losses suffered as a result of the defamation/libel. So, defamin..."Jeffrey wrote: "It should be noted in this discussion of the law that the measure of damages for defamation/libel in most states is actual financial losses suffered as a result of the defamation/libel. So, defamin..."
Thank you so much, Jeffrey. This widens my knowledge about this subject. My novel, however, is probably beyond help.
And don't forget: When you are a lawyer yourself and don't have to hire one, things are soooooooooo much easier. :-)
Hi Susan, If your friends are portrayed in a good light, I don't think there is anything to worry about, but I would certainly ask them if they would like their names to be changed and if they would like to read their sections.
I only gave my memoir to my family to read when it was fully edited, but not yet published. I had changed all the names anyway. I also changed the identifying facts of my late husband's mistress, and she was the only one I didn't give the book to, though I did tell her about it. Because of this, I consulted a lawyer even though the law is not as tough in my country (South Africa). He said that changing the name and identifying facts for her was good enough. No one here sues anyone for anything anyway but I wanted to make sure!
@ Leila:"No one here sues anyone for anything anyway ..."
Unimaginable! No frivolous law suits?
Here in the U.S., people sue the government for being struck by lightening on a mountain top, on grounds that there was no warning sign. There was also a law suit against McDonalds because someone had burnt his (or her? ) mouth with hot coffee.
Lilo wrote: "@ Leila:"No one here sues anyone for anything anyway ..."
Unimaginable! No frivolous law suits?..."
I know! I hear about them and we all just chuckle. Nothing like that here in South Africa! Everyone is kind of responsible for their own lives and the repercussions thereof which I am thankful for :)
What, no lawsuits! SA will have to develop a public works program for lawyers or the sharks will start feeding on each other. If you want to learn about a country that has more lawsuits than citizens, check out my article, "The Most Litigious People in the World," on pg 7 of http://www.pbk.org/userfiles/file/fla...
They won't just sue for libel either; if your book sells a million copies, they'll come crawling out of the woodwork wanting a share because you mentioned them in it!
Jesse wrote: "They won't just sue for libel either; if your book sells a million copies, they'll come crawling out of the woodwork wanting a share because you mentioned them in it!"I wouldn't bet on that. I think they are more likely to sue and get a big, fat settlement. At least, that's what you can expect here in the U.S.
Hi everyone. I worked with a kick-ass Manhattan copyright attorney, Donna DiGrandi. It was worth every penny and she wrote the disclaimer for me. We had many discussions about the libelous aspect and agents are scared to death to accept a new memoir unless it is from someone who is famous or already has fiction published. James Frey ruined it for many good authors.
This is a great topic for memoir writers. I have to admit writing French Illusions was a lot more complex than I initially imagined it would be. My diary offered a great outline, but I realized early on that I would have to change the names of people and places in my story to protect identities. This was especially true with regards to my host au pair family. Acquiring permission from them was out of the question. Totally out of the question (Read my book and you'll understand). Additionally, over thirty years had passed since I spoke with anyone I'd met in France. I no longer had any contact information for them. After I published, I also acquired Author Liability Insurance for an extra level of protection.French Illusions: My Story as an American Au Pair in the Loire Valley
You have to have between 16-18 de-identifiers. My memoir has been through the ball-busting Manhattan attorney's process.
Linda wrote: "This is a great topic for memoir writers. I have to admit writing French Illusions was a lot more complex than I initially imagined it would be. My diary offered a great outline, but I realized ear..."Could you possibly give a little more info about this Author Liability Insurance? What is the cost? How high is the coverage? And will they insure ANY book, or will they check first how high a risk it entails?
Would you (or anyone else) happen to know how long the right on anyone's photograph runs? I will include photo-collages in my early-childhood memoir. Three of these photographs show playmates (ages 3-5), from which I cannot get any permission. I wonder if they could sue me. One is (and needs to be) named with full name in my memoir, where it is stated that her parents were Nazis. She can't sue me for that, but I hesitate to use her photograph. The other two are only named with first names. Again, they could not sue me regarding what I write about them. The issue are only the photographs.
Nina wrote: "You have to have between 16-18 de-identifiers. My memoir has been through the ball-busting Manhattan attorney's process."What are de-identifiers? Could you please explain?
Yes. These are facts that are different than the real character. So, you can change the name, gender, age, race, disease, location....so they can't be identified.But my attorney said that only the people who were portrayed as assholes will get angry and come forward to essentially say, "Hey, I'm the asshole she was writing about! Make her stop!"
My attorney, who is a copyright attorney, was very funny about it. The big issue is when an author asks for medical records, that's very illegal.
Lilo, you are treading very sacred waters. Parents were Nazi's? To you it may be history, but to them it is personal. I would definitely change the names, definitely.
Nina wrote: "Lilo, you are treading very sacred waters. Parents were Nazi's? To you it may be history, but to them it is personal. I would definitely change the names, definitely."Thank you, Nina. -- It is actually not I who say that they were Nazis. I was a preschooler. I say that my family members said that they were Nazis. Would this be legally the same? I have, so far, not changed ANY names. I hate to change names in a memoir unless absolutely necessary.
Nina wrote: "Yes. These are facts that are different than the real character. So, you can change the name, gender, age, race, disease, location....so they can't be identified.But my attorney said that only the..."
How can anyone get 16-18 de-identifiers together? Golly! I wouldn't get more than 3 together (re the protagonist of novel with which I have this problem), and this would need quite a bit of rewriting.
Hi Everyone, I'm new to the site and to this thread. I haven't gone all the way back to the initial posts, but I found the topic interesting. I had some concern about this issue while I was writing my book, so when I started working with an editor at Anaiah Press, I asked her. She said she didn't think it would be a problem, because all my characters aA Long and Winding Road: A Caregiver's Tale of Life, Love and Chaosre likable. Lilo, there are no Nazis in my background. :)
She did, however, surprise me with some of the things she cut. At one point when my son was going through a bout of serious depression and lost a lot of weight, I described him as looking like someone from Schindler's list. She had me change that and describe he as emaciated instead. She cut my reference to something being Kosher since I was not referring to something that had been blessed by a Rabbi. She even had me change the wording where my mother told me I was acting like a wild Indian. I guess one can't be too politically correct these days.
Happy first day of Spring.
Blessings,
Linda
A Long and Winding Road: A Caregiver's Tale of Life, Love and Chaos
Hi, Linda,Welcome to the site. Unfortunately, I spent my preschool years surrounded by Nazis and even murderous SS criminals who bragged about having thrown Jewish children onto the pavement from 4th-floor windows. So there is no way I can keep Nazis out of my early-childhood memoir.
I think your editor made the right suggestions. Expressions we use in every-day language are not always recommendable to use in our writings. I also have to watch myself about the expressions I use.
Nina wrote: "Lilo, you are treading very sacred waters. Parents were Nazi's? To you it may be history, but to them it is personal. I would definitely change the names, definitely."You might note my previous description of the legal elements defamation/libel. Relating that someone called them Nazis, although defamatory, is defensible as true, whether they were Nazis or not. But, the safer route is to change names and at least a couple identifying characteristics. And, of course, include in the foreword/epilogue that changes have been made to protect privacy.
Yes, it is so difficult to change the names. You could just take the chance and use the actual names. I's up to you. If you're not worried about causing harm to a person/family then go ahead. As far as being sued, spend the money and get a copyright attorney to read it. Remember; there are hundreds of book written about being a child around Nazi sympathizers. How is yours different?
Thank you, Jeffrey. I'll look for your previous description of defamation/libel and will reread them.
Nina wrote: "Yes, it is so difficult to change the names. You could just take the chance and use the actual names. I's up to you. If you're not worried about causing harm to a person/family then go ahead. As fa..."The danger that the descendant (a woman my age with no children) will come across my memoir is miniscule. But I'll think about leaving off her last name.
I had already hired a self-proclaimed copyright attorney (for my novel). He had no clue. All his advice was totally irrelevant. I eventually got my money back, thanks to the intervention of another attorney in the same firm.
How is my memoir different? Well, I think every memoir is different. No two people had the same life. And there are good memoirs and not so good memoirs. I assume that mine is worth reading.
Lilo wrote: "Hi, Linda,Welcome to the site. Unfortunately, I spent my preschool years surrounded by Nazis and even murderous SS criminals who bragged about having thrown Jewish children onto the pavement from..."
Lilo, thanks for the welcome. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, but I applaud your bravery in sharing your story. Hopefully we will learn from the past and not be doomed to repeat it.
In addition to politically incorrect terms, my editor also takes exception to some of my Texas colloquialisms. I have accepted most of her changes on the assumption that if she doesn't understand them, many of my readers won't either. However, I do draw the line at some sayings that are family legends. My mother and her younger sister dated, and eventually married, brothers. When one or the other asked permission to go out with her beau, Granddaddy would ask, "Is he the squinch-eyed one or the bug-eyed one?" My editor wanted to change the former term to "squinty-eyed," but we agreed that, since the original term is historically accurate, it stays! :)
Blessings,
Linda
@ Linda:My childhood certainly wasn't a picture-book childhood, but it wasn't quite as bad as it might appear to us now. I didn't know any different, so it seemed quite normal. War was normal. Peace was something I had heard about. It was an unreal, remote wonderland of plenty, something like paradise. We were quite lucky, however. There wasn't any fighting going on where we lived, and when the air raids got bad in Munich, we evacuated to a small town to live with my grandmother and her sister. Food and supply shortages were bad. Yet the worst was the danger of landing in Dachau or in front of the "People's Court" for being declared an "enemy of the state" or accused of "undermining military morale". The former could happen for telling a Hitler joke or listening to the BBC; the latter could happen for questioning the victorious outcome of the war.
I agree with what you say about keeping certain, family legend colloquialisms. I would have kept them, too.
Lilo wrote: "@ Linda:My childhood certainly wasn't a picture-book childhood, but it wasn't quite as bad as it might appear to us now. I didn't know any different, so it seemed quite normal. War was normal. Pe..."
Lilo, most of us in the U.S. are so spoiled. I was raised in a small town in west Texas where the worst things I had to face were sand storms and an occasional scorpion. Bless you for sharing your story.
I have mixed feelings about this. I would love to share it with my parents because I think it's the only way that we can talk about my experiences. My aunt would like me to write it as an educational tool for teachers to use in teaching/dealing with bullying, which I like. But I also am reluctant to share it with family. And as for changing names, well, I would love to be able to say I don't have to since I doubt the people involved will ever read it (they're in another country) but I suppose I'll have to change those things.
Memoir Authors
Books mentioned in this topic
A Long and Winding Road: A Caregiver's Tale of Life, Love and Chaos (other topics)French Illusions: My Story as an American Au Pair in the Loire Valley (other topics)
