You'll love this one...!! A book club & more discussion

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Do you sometimes get friend requests from people you don't know?
I sometimes wish they had to put why they want to be friends with you.
Ho hum - just this morning's random musing...


message 2: by Rusalka, Moderator (new)

Rusalka (rusalkii) | 19202 comments I agree. I must say, I ignore anyone who only friends avatars of hot girls.


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Ha!
If they're friending me because they have a thing for penguins then I must say I'm rather disturbed!

Most recent one we have no books in common, so what's the interest in friending me?


message 4: by Rusalka, Moderator (new)

Rusalka (rusalkii) | 19202 comments And that is so so so common.


message 5: by Rusalka, Moderator (new)

Rusalka (rusalkii) | 19202 comments At least Kiwi's are usually nice...


message 6: by Travis (new)

Travis (travistousant) | 6011 comments I get requests sometimes from "women" who say they can tell by my bookshelf that we are destined to be together or they are lonely or some randomness such as that. Then they want you to email them not friend them. IG you look at their profile they have zero books no avatar no info of any sort. I don't know what scams these people are running I just delete and ignore . I always picture some sweaty weird man living in his mothers basement with a bunch of computers probably wearing adult diapers because he can't leave the computers long enough for bathroom breaks. Psychos.


message 7: by Rusalka, Moderator (new)

Rusalka (rusalkii) | 19202 comments It's just coz you're just a hottie Travis :P

But yes... creepy... urgh.


message 8: by Almeta (new)

Almeta (menfrommarrs) | 11456 comments Travis of NNY wrote: " I always picture some sweaty weird man living in his mothers basement with a bunch of computers probably wearing adult diapers because he can't leave the computers long enough for bathroom breaks. Psychos. ..."

lol! Yes, I can just visualize the same thing!


message 9: by jaxnsmom (new)

jaxnsmom | 8341 comments And it's even worse if you're a moderator. I don't know if they think it will benefit them, but a lot of authors will send friend requests, sometimes even if they're not in your group.


message 10: by Janice, Moderator (new)

Janice (jamasc) | 59847 comments I have mine set up to ask the question, "How do I know you? If I don't know you, why do you want to be my friend?"

I get a lot of authors who want me to nominate their books in the group reads. Grrrr!


message 11: by Almeta (new)

Almeta (menfrommarrs) | 11456 comments I used to take a lot of time screening. Now, I just accept everyone and then turn off "top friend", if we have nothing in common. That way their stuff never hits my updates, and I don't spend time thinking about them.

If that person later shows up in discussions and is interesting to me, I can then add them back to "top friend", if I wish.


message 12: by Lisa (new)

Lisa (lisathebooklover) | 9244 comments I usually accept people if I know them from groups such as YLTO. If I don't know them from a group I will normally only friend them if we share similar tastes in books and genres.

I have been quite lucky with my friend requests so far in that most have been from people who are genuinely interested in chatting books with me and who share similar interests. However, I have had a few emails from people who I don't know who seem more interested in my private life than in books! It's annoying but I just delete the emails and do not reply.


message 13: by Peggy (new)

Peggy (pebbles84) | 15868 comments All my friends are people I know, either in real life or from goodreads or other forums. I rarely get requests from people I don't know, and when I do, I ignore them. They can always follow me if they're very interested in me, but I wouldn't know why they should be.

I do have some people whom I don't know following me. I always think they must have misclicked somewhere and accidentally started following me.


message 14: by Janice, Moderator (new)

Janice (jamasc) | 59847 comments Peggy wrote: "I do have some people whom I don't know following me. I always think they must have misclicked somewhere and accidentally started following me."

They may have read one of your reviews and decided they wanted to follow your reviews.


message 15: by Almeta (new)

Almeta (menfrommarrs) | 11456 comments Janice wrote: "Peggy wrote: "I do have some people whom I don't know following me. I always think they must have misclicked somewhere and accidentally started following me."

They may have read one of your review..."


That's when I usually see unknowns who want to be-friend me.


message 16: by Peggy (new)

Peggy (pebbles84) | 15868 comments I added a question a few weeks ago, asking people who want to befriend me to say how they know me, or if they don't, why they want to be my friend. Just now I got this reply: "you look lovely i must first say then i like seeing u and wants to know you sum more"

I wonder if he thinks this is a dating-site? ;-)


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

That's fabulous! I'd take it as a compliment but decline, if only on the grounds of poor spelling >;-)


message 18: by Janet (new)

Janet Since I don't have a lot of personal information on here, I allow people I don't know to friend me (unless their picture looks scary). I would like to find more people who have my same reading interests to exchange reading ideas, cooking ideas, maybe just good ideas.


message 19: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 18549 comments I don't have a question on mine and over the months I have had a number of friend requests and most are genuine who have similar reading taste while others are authors. I've not had any dodgy requests as far as I can recall. I also do what Almeta does and check the "top friend" box on people who do have similar interests and those on YLTO so that I only see their feed updates.


message 20: by Roz (last edited Dec 01, 2013 09:10AM) (new)

Roz | 4524 comments I never had a required question and in the end I'd get friend requests from authors who just wanted to promote their books and had no common interests. Very annoying. I don't know how people go about finding people with no commonality. Is it random? Just put in a first name and friend all of them? Are they just friend collectors? I've just added a question. I wonder if the next author will answer "so you can promote my crappy book."


message 21: by Janice, Moderator (new)

Janice (jamasc) | 59847 comments I tried Almeta's suggestion about checking the "top friend" option. I'm still getting updates for some people that are not top friends, and some top friends (and ones I really want to see updates on) don't get included. I'm not sure that strategy works.


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

I confess that if there is a cute animal in an avatar, I will send a friend request. Honestly I add people because I like to see what other people are reading. That being said, I try to limit my requests to people within groups I am in.


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

PS: I do actually look at the books someone has read before I send the request. If nothing appeals to me, I do not send the request.


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

update: yesterday I received a request from a complete stranger. He was an author and I suspect a little self-promotion. I think it was cosmic justice for some of the random friending I recently did. lol.


message 25: by Debra (new)

Debra (debra_t) | 6542 comments My rule of thumb is if they have a decent number of books on their shelves and they don't seem to be friend collectors (especially guys with only female friends), and they aren't authors trying to get me to read their new book, I approve the friend request. Then, generally, I never hear from them again. With one exception...

There is this guy who should have been kicked off GR a long time ago that inappropriately flirts (sexual stuff), and was sending me sex books as recommendations. He was apparently doing similar things to other members and disrupting groups. I complained about him, removed him as a friend, then blocked him.

This is NOT a dating site, IMHO!


message 26: by Rusalka, Moderator (new)

Rusalka (rusalkii) | 19202 comments Oh ick!!

Not at all. Just got a heap of New Years requests from people who only friend hot girls. All blocked. If they only knew ... lol


message 27: by Nancy from NJ (new)

Katz Nancy from NJ (nancyk18) I only resent when authors send me requests cause next comes an offer for a book or a contest for a book or etc.


message 28: by Peggy (new)

Peggy (pebbles84) | 15868 comments Not a friend request, but I did get an overly friendly message just now:

The subject was weird: dutch guy lost his wooden wallet somewhere in his poppyseed fields

The message was in Dutch, but was something like

'Hi Peggy,

How are you doing in R***? I go there every now and then to meet family and have dinner.

Would you like to chat or skype some time?

Love,
J. from H.'


message 29: by Lisa (new)

Lisa (lisathebooklover) | 9244 comments Bit of an odd one Peggy!


message 30: by Tasha (new)

Tasha weird...


message 31: by Sandra, Moderator (new)

Sandra (sanlema) | 11257 comments yeah... really weird.


message 32: by Janice, Moderator (new)

Janice (jamasc) | 59847 comments creepy!


message 33: by Kristie, Moderator (new)

Kristie | 19123 comments I agree. That's creepy. Maybe he has this confused with sort of dating site. I had someone once message me asking for therapeutic advice (I am a mental health clinician). He was really upset when I wouldn't engage with him.


message 34: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Creepy for sure!!


message 35: by Peggy (new)

Peggy (pebbles84) | 15868 comments I'll just ignore him ;-)

And I decided to remove my city from my public information.


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