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Boomerang & DAANCE (Apparently also Daancy) 2.0 #3
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[deleted user]
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Oct 25, 2013 06:39PM
[ Don't worry about it -- that's exactly what happened to me last time; you know, when you got confused? That's what had happened to me, haha. ]
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(Haha. ^ ^)Xavier
I finally made it to the kitchen, smiling as I saw Dom. "Hey." I murmured, not hesitating to wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer. I opened my mouth to reply to his question when he was suddenly smearing icing on my lips. Licking almost automatically, I tilted my head to the side as I thought over the flavor, seeing if it was missing anything. As usual, the answer was no.
I gave a small smirk as I pulled Dom in for a 'hello' kiss. "Nope. It's as perfect as always." I told him, my smirk turning into a wide, crooked grin. But then I bit my lip in thought. "Hey, Dom? About your question earlier..." Might as well tell him now, as gently as possible.
Dominique Blair Sanchez:I looped my arms around his neck and cracked a grin myself when I saw that crooked smirk of his. "Oh! Speaking of earlier," I cut off his thoughts for a brief moment and pulled away, quickly walking to the fridge as I picked up the note I'd stuck on. "Sandra called and she wanted to know if you could go and help her move some things in her house. She's renovating and stuff and she could use a hand. I told her I'd ask first before I said anything so yeah." I waved the green sticky note before I stuck it back on the fridge. "And if you say yes, it'll be on Thursday." I murmured, taking another peek at my cupcakes. They looked so deliciously good.
I couldn't wait for the decorating part. My personal favourite, to be honest.
XavierI let out a soft sigh when Dom cut me off, but no worries. Slow. I wanted to break it to him gently. So when he started talking about Sandra's renovation, I just smiled and nodded. "Of course I'll help, no questions asked; Sandra should know this by now." I murmured, walking up to the counter and leaning against it. I tried to go back to earlier's confession. "So, Dom...There's something that I should tell you..."
Dominique Blair Sanchez:"Okay, I just wanted to make sure it was alright with you." I smiled, noting that I'd call her later to let her know he could make it. When he came closer and leaned against the counter. He began talking and I leaned a hand on my hip, willing to listen.
Until the alarm beeped, indicating the cupcakes were ready. "Hold that thought." I told him, grabbing the oven gloves and taking the delicious smell and contents out of the oven. "Ooh, they're beautiful!" I chirped, clapping my hands together once. "I can't wait for them to cool off." I grinned, turning the stove off.
(Hmm...Should I have Xavier try one more time, or just have him blurt it out?)
[ I don't know how Dom could interrupt him again without it sounding forced so I'd say he could blurt it out before the moment just isn't fit anymore I guess. Unless you had a better idea, of course. ]
(Hm...No, not really. The only thing I was thinking is Dom could interrupt him again by saying that he needed to find his frosting tube thing to make it easier to decorate? And while he's looking, Xavier could just get all frustrated and...Yeah. ^ ^')
[ That works for me, I just didn't know what I'd interrupt Xavier with but I can do that. c: ]
(Haha, cool. ^ ^)Xavier
I let out a soft sigh when the oven dinged, and Dom shot over to take out his cupcakes. Patience, Xavier. You needed to have patience.
I let out a soft chuckle and smiled at his exclamation, nodding in agreement. "That they are." I murmured quietly, but both my expression and tone became serious once more. "But Dom, there's something that I really need to tell you..."
Dominique Blair Sanchez: "Oh, yeah, sorry, I'm all over the place today." I apologized when he reminded me that he needed to talk about something. I leaned against the counter and looked up at him.
Until I remembered something. "Crap," I muttered suddenly, facepalming myself. "I left the frosting tube at Amelia's!" I groaned. What was I going to use to apply the frosting now? "Wait! I remember I bought a new one last week." I muttered to myself, just wanting to make sure I found it before the cupcakes cooled off, otherwise they wouldn't taste as good if I waited too long. And I'd be able to hear Xavier out as I applied the sugary coating.
I quickly began fumbling around in the cupboards, trying to recall where I'd put it.
XavierSatisfied that I finally had his attention, I shook my head. "It's alright." I murmured with a smile. But when I once again tried to tell him my decision, he once again became sidetracked. "Dom..." I murmured, my patience growing thin while I watched him putter about the kitchen. Sighing in frustration, I just decided to just say it. "I enlisted in the army, Dom." I blurted out, biting my bottom lip as I gauged his reaction, wondering if maybe I had been too to the point.
Dominique Blair Sanchez: A sudden shock broke through me at his words, making me pause my action which had been opening a cupboard. My eyes grew wide and I looked over at him slowly. I tried to decipher the tone of his voice, but I could only hear annoyance and distress. "Okay, maybe it was a little rude to just interrupt you." I muttered, figuring that he'd gone and said something nutty just so that he could get my attention to tell me the real news.
"Okay, I promise I'm listening, what is it?" I asked, shutting the cupboard instead. "You scared me there for a second." I grinned, rubbing the back of my neck.
XavierI stared at Dom incredulously. What? "Dom...I just told you." I murmured quietly, slowly, weighing each word carefully. "I wasn't just blurting something out at random; I'm serious." I took a deep breath, trying to soften my earlier confession as I spoke again. "That's where I've been all day..." I murmured quietly, my eyes never leaving Dom's. "I went and enlisted in the army..."
Dominique Blair Sanchez: "Wait, what?" I asked slowly when he said he wasn't kidding. That shock crashed into once again but it stayed this time. For a second, I felt my knees get a little weak so I leaned against the counter as I tried to process this. No. This...this had to be some sort of joke. "Xavier," I warned, shaking my head a little. "That is the worst joke I've ever heard." I muttered quietly, looking at him warily.
"There's no way you would do that..." I shook my head again as the nagging thought that he was telling the truth annoyed me. "You would never..."
XavierI swallowed hard at Dom's denile, feeling guilt stab at me as I could no longer meet his shocked gaze. "I've...been thinking about it for a while now..." I admitted quietly. "I...want to do something. I've always admired the soldiers who brave the outside world and fight for what they and what everyone else believes in. I want to make a difference in this world, and I...I feel like this is my best opportunity to do so..." I finally looked up at him again, my eyes pleading for him to understand. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner..." I murmured quietly. "But I knew that you'd freak out. I wanted to make a decision without having to worry about a biased opinion, as harsh and terrible as that sounds..."
Dominique Blair Sanchez: I stared at Xavier but I wasn't really seeing him. What the hell was coming out of his mouth? No. He hadn't enlisted for the army. He couldn't have. Did he know the statistics of people who didn't return? Biased opinion? He'd been thinking about it for awhile? I inhaled sharply and shook my head. What the hell was I going to say? I didn't know, I was literally speechless.
I couldn't meet his eye. I just couldn't.
"So you thought that telling me after you've already signed up was the best and most logical answer?" I couldn't help but hear the hurt and maybe even a little bit of anger in my voice, which was foreign to me. "And is a biased opinion all I am in your decision to go into the army with the possibility of never coming back?" That part had struck me in particular. Did it not matter what I thought of it? Just because he already knew what my answer was going to be, he hadn't even brought it up during our meals or anything?
XavierAt Dom's words and hurt tone, I realized that I screwed up, said the wrong thing. Wincing a little, I stepped around the counter, tentatively reaching out towards him. "That's not what I meant." I murmured quietly, gently taking his hand. I bit my lip for a few moments before letting out a sigh, shaking my head at myself. "Okay, so I know that right now I'm sounding like a complete asswhole." I murmured quietly, agreeing with him. "But of course your opinion matters to me. Maybe biased was the wrong word to use. It was more of a..." How could I explain it? I didn't know. So I just said what I felt was right. "I knew that you'd try to convince me not to do it, reasonably so." I told him quietly. "And I guess...I don't know. I didn't want to be influenced one way when in my heart I felt another." I paused, weighing my next words with caution. "I've always wanted to enlist in the army, Dom. Since before I even met you." I murmured quietly. "I know the risks of somebody not coming back. Believe me, I know. But it's just..." I trailed off for a few moments, thinking very, very carefully about what I was going to say next. "I never really realized how important this was to me until I had something-someone-to fight for." I finished at last, raising my gaze in order to hold Dom's. I needed him to understand how important this was to me.
Dominique Blair Sanchez: My opinion mattered. Just not enough to keep him here and safe. Safe from all the gory violence I couldn't stand to even watch or hear about. When he took my hand, I looked down at it and sighed shakily, willing myself not to interrupt him and beg him not to go.
I pulled my hand away and crossed my arms over my chest, looking down at the counter as I shook my head, fighting back tears. "What am I supposed to say, Xavier?" I murmured quietly, sniffling as I shrugged. "It's not like there's anything I can do or say that's going to change your mind, so what am I supposed to say?" I mumbled, wiping a fallen tear off my cheek. I felt the foreign anger sizzle in me and I wanted so much to let it out but I didn't want to cause any trouble, not right then and now.
"I don't want to lose you." I whispered, feeling my throat become raw with emotion. "I don't want you to die. There's nothing admirable about being dead." I retorted weakly, feeling the tears pool over as everything played in my head.
XavierI let out a soft sigh when Dom pulled his hand away, and I bit my lip as he spoke. When I saw his eyes pool with tears, I reached up, gently resting my hand against his cheek and wiping his tears away gently with my thumb. "The fact that you automatically jump to the conclusion that I'm going to die kind of hurts." I murmured quietly, resting my forehead gently against his. "I'm not going to die. I'll make sure to get back to you, for better or for worse. I promise. All I ask is that you have a little more faith in me. Is that too hard to ask?" The whole time, my tone had been soft and gentle, tender, yet also decisive. My mind was made up. I just needed Dom's faith in me.
Dominique Blair Sanchez: I closed my eyes when our foreheads touched and despite the urge to pull back and insist that he drop out immediately, I remained quiet and kept my mouth shut. "Promise is a big word, Xavier." I whispered quietly, frowning slightly. I sighed and opened my eyes. I brought my hand up and rested it on his chest, over his heart that was beating comfortingly beneath my palm. There were so many things I wanted to say, I wanted to shake him and try to make him understand that he was better by my side, that I couldn't bare the thought of possibly never seeing him again. It hurt. It just plain hurt. Alongside the fact that he'd made sure a big decision without even talking to me about it. "When...when would you be leaving?" I asked quietly, looking down at my hand over his heart.
XavierI let out a soft sigh, still running my thumb across his cheek. "In three months..." I murmured quietly, expression becoming slightly sullen. "I really am sorry for doing this behind your back, Dom." I said, looking at him carefully. "I just...I need to do this. I'm not asking you to be happy about this. I'm just asking you to understand, and to have faith. I will get back to you. I promised you, didn't I? And you know how important keeping my word is to me. Just like this is..."
Dominique Blair Sanchez: I wanted him to stop using the word promise. I didn't like it. Sure, he might be wanting to keep his word, but it didn't mean that the guy on the other side of the battle field was going to help keep Xavier's word. No. He'd be wanting him dead more than anything. Maybe the guy on the other side promised someone he'd come back to them and little did they know, they never would.
What if that happened to Xavier?
What if...
"Okay." I heard myself whisper despite my thoughts. Nothing I could say or do would have an effect on him so what was the point in retorting? It was frustratingly heartbreaking.
"Fine." I muttered, figuring that he was right on some degree. Never would I be happy about this, never would I accept the fact that this was his way of changing the world but I'd rather have him come back alive and well than dead and injured. "If it makes you happy..." That was all it was in the end. If he was happy with his decision, then that was all that mattered.
XavierTo be honest, I was expecting Dom to argue with me some more, tell me that I was stupid, that I was being selfish. But no. He didn't say that. Not at all.
Encircling my arms around his waist, I pulled him close, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." I murmured quietly. Then I pulled back with a small smile. "Don't worry. The first six months will go by fast, and the next year will go by even faster. I'm sure of it..."
[ Hum hum hum, should Dom have argued more? I kind of was in a crappy mood when I wrote those posts so sorry. If not, then yeah, skipping's good. ]
(No, you're fine. I think he argued plenty. ^ ^ So should we skip to where Phillips is driving Xavier home, where said man is going to try and apologize to Dom? (P.S. Why were you in a crappy mood? :())
[ Okay good, haha. And indeed we shall, I'll get mah post together. Just wondering, it's tomorrow, right? Like Xavier slept over? Aannnndddd because I hurt my broken foot earlier and I'm probably going to have to have a cast on it longer than intended now. ]
(Yeah, it's the next day. And I could always start if you need me to. X) And I'm sorry to hear that. :()
[ Yeah, painkillers aren't helping much either. Stupid dog x.x I don't need you to start but if you'd like to start I will not stop you, haha. :P Either way, I'm good ^ ]
(I'm good with whatever. (Very decisive person, aren't I?) And what did your dog do?)
[ Lol well I was cooking up some supper and she usually knows to stay out of the kitchen 'cause she has a tendency to beg so we're cutting her off that habit. So I was minding my own business and I went to turn around and I realized when it was too late that she had come and lied down right behind my feet so I tripped and, like, twisted my foot. >~< Aaannnd mind doing the honors? ( You're the most decisive person I've encountered on Goodreads, dear Dancy. ;p ) ]
(That sucks. :/ I know that all three of our dogs like to be right there when either of us are in the kitchen. And sure, no prob. X) (And I can't decide whether that as sarcasm or genuine. XP))Xavier
I let out a soft sigh as I fiddled with the two roses in my lap, one white and one...red. I tried my hardest not to look at the red one; I hadn't even wanted to get one. But Dom liked red roses, so I decided to stop being so damn whiney and self-centered and purchase a red rose. Or, rather, have Phillips purchase one; I had run from the house with no shoes on, and my foot was causing me a few problems, so Phillips had resigned himself to getting the two roses for me. "Thank you again, for everything you did last night. And for everything you've been doing." I murmured quietly, glancing over at the older man in the driver's seat, my heart pounding as we drew closer and closer to the house. Wondering what was going to happen next.
[ Haha, yeah she's just terribly annoying when she does it so she stay laying down right at the edge that separates the hallway from the kitchen. :P Thanks! And that was sarcasm, haha. ]
Sgt. William Phillips: Smoothly, I turned a corner when the light had turned green. I glanced over at Xavier when he spoke and looked down at the roses briefly before focusing on the road once more. "No need to thank me." I shrugged his thanks off, kind of feeling weird about it. I let him borrow a pair of my shoes for the time being; it's not like I was going to let him walk around shoeless back to his house or anywhere, for that matter. I sighed and pulled into the street, giving one more glance at Xavier as I began to slow down. "I'm sure everything will turn out fine." I tried to calm his nerves a little but I knew it was pretty futile, I knew for a fact that lovers were scarier than having an entire army against you. On the other side, they're the best people someone could have. It was just a matter of choosing your side, really.
(Haha. She's on the edge. XP And no prob. ^ ^ And I knew it! You jerk...)Xavier
I glanced over at Phillips, feeling a sense of panic as he started to slow down. "I sure hope that you're right..." I murmured quietly, watching as the quaint little house I lived in with Dom suddenly loomed before us. Gulping a little, I glanced down at the roses, focusing mainly on the white one. I knew that the roses themselves wouldn't be enough, not nearly. But it was a start.
Right?
[ The edge of glory! :P Hey, you admitted it yourself!! ]
Sgt. William Phillips: Within moments, I was pulled up in front of the house and took notice of the car in the driveway and the shut curtains. "If it doesn't, come knock at my door." I told him. That was as helpful as I was going to get. Though looking over at how Xavier was acting, I kind of felt a need to says something more. But what?
Nope, I really had nothing. I wasn't good with this shit, okay?
(Haha! XP And it's different when I say it. Kind of the whole, 'I can admit something about myself, but you can't' kind of thing. XD)Xavier
I bit my bottom lip as I glanced up at the house again, my heart pounding in my throat. Nodding at Phillips' suggestion, I opened the door. "Alright. Thanks again, Phillips." I murmured quietly, sliding out of the car and closing the door behind me with a soft sigh. I hesitated for a few moments before finally limping my way up to the front door, pausing when I got there. Should I knock? Should I just go in? What if I knocked, and Dom didn't answer? Or what if I just walked in, and I scared the crap out of him?
Dammit.
Going with my gut, I rose a fist and tentatively knocked on the door.
And waited.
[ Haha well too bad! I said it now ya gotta live with it!! :P ]
Dominique Blair Sanchez: I don't know what I was doing. Should I? Should I not? I paced down the hallway where the broken picture frame still remained in the spot where it had been dropped. I walked in the bathroom and looked down at the shower curtain I'd tore down myself just this morning. I walked into our bedroom and spotted Xavier's hoodie I'd placed on the bed last night. Oh God, where was he anyway?
I walked back down the hall and strictly avoided the mirror hanging there. I'd only taken one look at it and that had been more than enough. My eyes fell on the suitcase sitting by the door and my heart clenched in my chest. Was it for the best?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know!
Even if it was only for a week...
Gently, my fingers brushed against my jaw and the threat of pain hung heavy. I knew it was blue with a faint shade of purple, it's what happened to bruises when they were new. I knew that my ear hurt sometimes because of it but that was whenever I ate. I just kept telling myself that it could have been worse, much, much worse.
I jumped when the door was suddenly being knocked on. Who could be at the door? I waited a few moments before I walked over to the front door and turned the knob, I hadn't locked the door last night in case Xavier was going to come back.
Slowly, I opened the door and it took me a moment to realize who it was. My eyes widened when I looked up at him. I could hear an engine drive off and my gut feeling told me it had most likely been Phillips. My attention was brought back to the man holding the two roses and I quickly look to the side, hoping to cover up a little bit of the bruise so he didn't have to see.
"You...you didn't have to knock..."
(I WILL NEVER ACCEPT IT!)Xavier
When the door opened, I automatically dropped my eyes, too afraid to see what I had done. But at Dom's words, I looked up, letting out a soft gasp as I saw his face. He had tried to turn it to where I didn't see the nasty bruise I had left. But I did. I saw. And it broke my heart all over again.
I looked down at the roses, my stomach churning, my body beginning to trembled with the effort of holding back the guilt and grief that slammed into me. "I...I know..." I murmured quietly, voice hoarse and unsteady. "I just...didn't want to scare you..." Plus, it would have given him a chance to slam the door in my face if he understandably didn't want to see me.
Fiddling with the roses for a few moments, I glanced up at Dom, tentatively reaching forward in order to give them to him. "I...I know what I did last night was unforgivable..." I told him quietly, avoiding eye-contact. "And...and I know that I can...never apologize enough, and you...probably don't want to hear it right now. But...I am sorry, Dom. I'm so, so sorry. It...I hadn't meant to hurt you. It had been an accident. An awful, awful. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..." My voice kept cracking and breaking as I spoke, still avoiding eyecontact with Dom, fighting back useless, unecessary tears; I couldn't break down this time. Tears wouldn't solve anything. Wouldn't erase the bruise on Dom's face, or the pain he had felt. They wouldn't change the past.
[ RAAWRRR TOO BAD BECAUSE YOU ALREADY ACCEPT IT YOURSELF SO YOU'VE TECHNICALLY ACCEPTED WHAT I'VE SAID! ]
Dominique Blair Sanchez: When he offered the roses, I took them and looked down at them. They were nice. Beautiful. There was just something about roses that just made me...I don't know...appreciate the beauty of everything and everyone. I sighed softly and looked up at Xavier as he spoke. I had already known he was sorry. I did believe he was sorry. I wanted to believe that one day he wouldn't have to worry about doing it again, but...I just...I don't know.
Why was it so easy to forgive a complete stranger but so difficult to forgive someone you loved?
I felt the urge to reach out and touch him but I couldn't get myself to. Not because I was scared, I just couldn't.
My mind whirled back to the suitcase just behind this door and my doubt began creeping back in again. I thought back to all the scenes I'd replayed in my head and brought back to life and I felt myself fight my own set of tears back. I cleared my throat and shook my head, biting my lower lip.
"Xavier..." I began slowly, opening the door wider so he could come in, it's not like I was going to not allow him to walk into his own home. "I think I should...maybe it's best if I leave for a little while..."
(NEVER! (Also, should Xavier try to convince Dom to stay, or no?)
[ GIVE IN ALREADY YAOIDEER! ( Yuuusshhhh he shouullllddddddddddd ) ]
(I SAID NEIN! (And lol, alright. I wasn't sure. ^ ^)Xavier
I didn't know what to expect when Dom finally spoke, but it wasn't this. I should have been expecting it, but I hadn't been. The suggestion that Dom leave, even if it was for just a little while...
Or was it? Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months can turn into years. I couldn't just let Dom walk away. Not without a fight.
It couldn't be too late.
I didn't step inside when Dom opened the door a little wider, too shocked to move for several moments. And then I snapped out of it. "Dom, no..." I murmured quietly, staring at him with wide, pleading eyes. I reached for him instinctively, then hesitated, biting my bottom lip. But how could I convince Dom to stay if I was too damn scared to touch him? Reaching down, I gently took his free hand in both of mine, my hold gentle, tentative. "I...I know I'm being selfish by asking this, but please. Please don't go." I murmured, holding his gaze. "I...I know that I've fought it before, but I'll go back to therapy. I'll take medicine. I'll do anything to get better, I promise. I just...I don't want you to go, Dom..."
[ DON'T MAKE ME GET THE APPLESAUCE! ]
Dominique Blair Sanchez: When he didn't say anything, for a second, I thought he was going to let me do it and even though I'd brought it up, I really, really didn't want to leave. It just seemed like the best thing to do. If I left, then Xavier could focus on getting better and we could meet up on the weekends or something and do something. Just...whatever it took for him to get better the quickest and most effective way was what I wanted for him.
I kept my gaze on his hands holding mine and I tried to keep it together because I was sick and tired of being weak.
I met his gaze and my words caught in my throat. "It...it just hurts." I began, staying still. "It...it hurts not hearing you laugh anymore and...and it hurts watching you suffer and that no matter what I do, it's useless." I stopped for a second, hating my voice breaking. Tentatively, I took a small step forward and kept my eyes on his as I brought my hand up to hold his cheek. "It hurts that I can't touch you half the time without you flinching away from me." I whispered, my vision blurring itself the more I realized the worst of the worst.
"I...I know what happiness looks like, Xavier." My voice grew a little hoarse but I wanted to finish this. "And what hurts the most is that no matter how hard I look...when I look into your eyes...it's not there." I dropped my hand and looked down, clutching the roses tightly in my hand. "Not like it used to be..."
(BRING THE APPLESAUCE! I'M NOT SCARED!)Xavier
The more Dom spoke, the more agony I felt, the more guilt, hating what I've been putting him through. I leaned into his touch, but when he pulled his hand away, I felt as if a piece of my heart was being torn away as well. Swallowing hard, I tentatively reached up with a hand and gently took Dom's chin, tilting it up slightly so that he would look at me. My eyes flickered over to the bruise, and my expression contorted for a few moments before I composed myself again. After a few long moments of silence, I leaned down, placing gentle, feather-like kisses all along Dom's bruised cheek. "I'm so sorry that I've been hurting you..." I murmured quietly after I was done, pulling away slightly after a few moments in order to look at him. "And I know that I can't promise that everything will go back to the way it was. Not completely. But...I can promise to try, Dom." I murmured quietly, eyes searching his for something, anything. "It's hard now, I know. But...But I got a second chance here, Dom. We have a second chance. And last night...Last night my eyes were opened. I know that in order to get back to smiling and laughing with you, like I used to, I need to stop dwelling in my own self-pity and let people help me." I took a deep breath, swallowing hard before continuing. "All this time...I've been wanting to protect you from what happened in the past." I murmured quietly, voice cracking a little. "But I never noticed just how much it was hurting you. Please stay, Dom. Give me another chance. I promise...I'll get help. I'll...try to talk about what happened. Please. I...I promise..."
[ http://media.timeout.com/blogimages/w... ]
Dominique Blair Sanchez: When Xavier began kissing my cheek, I closed my eyes and leaned into the feel of his soft lips. Much too soon, he pulled back but the faint tingles were still there. I listened intently to his words, holding onto every single one of them intently. Hearing all of this coming from Xavier himself, saying that he'd truly, really try to help himself. It was kind of the biggest relief in the world.
Here he was, talking about second chances and here I was, having been ready to leave just a few moments earlier. It had me thinking that I hadn't been as faithful as I should have been. Whatever Xavier's gone through, it was life changing and I'd been about to let him handle it on his own? I felt the guilt plague me little by little. When he was finished, I couldn't help the small smile that lifted the corner of my lips and I brought my hand back onto his cheek. I stroked the brim of his skin with my thumb as I tried to find my words. "This...this is why I love you so much." I murmured sincerely, nodding my head a little, agreeing with myself. "I...I'm sorry if I seem insensitive to your situation. I...I know you're traumatized and that you need time and patience but..." I shrugged a little. "I guess I just...I just missed the way things used to be; which is pretty selfish of me." I had to accept Xavier as he was now, not who he used to be.
(Bahahaha! His face at the end! XD But it's still no. X3)Xavier
I closed my eyes and leaned into Dom's touch with a soft sigh, feeling relieved and slightly remorseful at the same time. But when Dom apologized, I open my eyes, shaking my head. "You haven't been insensitive in the slightest." I assured him quietly, raising a hand up to tentatively rest on Dom's cheek, like his was resting on mine. "You've been nothing but supportive and loving and just being you." I gave a small, sad smile as I brought my forehead down to rest against his. "And you're not being selfish for wanting the same thing I do..." I murmured quietly, meaning every word. Because, like Dom, I missed the way things were as well. With every fiber of my being.
[ Rawr. ]
Dominique Blair Sanchez: I closed my eyes, relieved that Xavier didn't think I was being standoffish about his experience, because I really wasn't. I did kind of feel selfish for somehow having brought this around me when it should be revolving around Xavier. Needless to say, there was no way I was leaving him. I was sure now, that Xavier would get better. That all of this, it was what we needed.
A second chance, if you will, as Xavier had mentioned. "One day..." I murmured, stroking his cheek slowly. "One day you're going to be happy again." I bit my lip for a moment, pondering the word I wanted to use. It was one I rarely used because I was always afraid of breaking it. I despised not being able to keep my word no matter what the outcome. Albeit for this, this was different.
"I promise you." I breathed, finding his gaze with all the sincerity in the world. I'd bring him happiness even if it costed my life.
(Grr.)Xavier
I blinked in slight surprise at Dom's promise, knowing that he didn't use the word lightly. I gave a small smile, closing my eyes with a soft sigh and enjoying the feel of his touch against my cheek. "Thank you, Dom." I murmured quietly. If possible, his words just made me love the man that much more.
After a few moments, I opened my eyes, pulling away and looking down at my lover. "Can I...ask you something?" I asked quietly. "I..." I paused, biting my lip, finding it harder than I realized to say the words I wanted-needed-to say. I let out a soft sigh, trying again. "Remember...the other night? When I...woke up and started talking about a man whose name I...I didn't know? Could you...could you help me...look up the names of the men who were...captured with me? I...I feel as though the first step to dealing with what happened is to figure out who...who all were lost. I feel like...it's the least I could do. To remember the ones who died fighting..." Especially the man who had been the last to die, the one that I had dreamt about.
[ Sorry I've been so spotty as of lately! ]
Dominique Blair Sanchez: When he wanted all the names of the people who were captured alongside him, I studied him quietly, my fingers trailing away of his cheek and down the side of his jaw as I remained quiet for a few moments. "Of course," I whispered faintly, nodding my head a few times as I slowly pulled back. "Maybe Phillips could help you more than me, though." I murmured quietly, trying to think of some ideas but I didn't have access to any of the files so it's not like I could do much.
"Are you...do you plan on visiting the families?" I asked quietly, looking up at him. "Maybe if you know that they don't blame you...then it might make you feel a little better." I shrugged , ringing my hands together.
