Happily Ever After Cafe discussion

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Heroes And Heroines > No No in a Hero

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message 1: by C.C. (new)

C.C. | 29 comments Since there's already a Must Haves in a Hero thread, I thought why not do the opposite.

What turns you off in a hero?

Mine are;
*Being too controlling
*Belittling women (I don't know what it's called)
*Raping or sexual assault


message 2: by Pamela(AllHoney), Fairy Godmother (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 14527 comments Great thread!

My no-no's are

infidelity
belittling/disparaging their women
physically and emotionally abusive
being too tormented and pushes everyone away
not protecting their woman


message 3: by Rachel Annie (new)

Rachel Annie (snapdragoness) I'll add:

*yep, I agree with yours and will add general misogyny
*cheating, or using OW to make h jealous
*he can make mistakes, but must grovel appropriately


message 4: by C.C. (new)

C.C. | 29 comments Oh yeahhh.. I forgot infidelity. That's a huge one.
Is that what it's called? Misogyny? Thanks! I learned something new :D
The moping emo type turns me off too.


namericanwordcat | 591 comments infidelity
belittling/disparaging their women
physically and emotionally abusive
being too tormented and pushes everyone away
raping
homophobic
Misogyny
TSTL


message 6: by Rachel Annie (new)

Rachel Annie (snapdragoness) Misogynists are people that hate woman; while that's a character trait that's acceptable in a villain, it's not okay in a hero!

I don't like alpha-holes, either... : (


message 7: by Pamela(AllHoney), Fairy Godmother (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 14527 comments great lists, people!


message 8: by Rosanna (new)

Rosanna Leo (rosanna_leo) Very good thread!
I think the worst thing a hero can do is degrade the heroine. Most arrogant behaviour can be explained away, depending on the story, and I think we expect a teeny bit of arrogance in those men, right? But once he calls the heroine names or humiliates her, I'm outta there.


message 9: by Pamela(AllHoney), Fairy Godmother (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 14527 comments I agree, Rosanna!


message 10: by Rosanna (new)

Rosanna Leo (rosanna_leo) Pamela(AllHoney) wrote: "I agree, Rosanna!"

Thanks Pamela. I think there's a new trend in edgy romance to have the "heroes" calling the heroines mean names. Not my cup of tea at all.


message 11: by Tracey (new)

Tracey Cramer-Kelly (traceycramer-kelly) | 19 comments Well, from a "does this book make me want to stay up all night and read it" standpoint, when the hero is just too perfect, too good to be true, I just want to roll my eyeballs. (Same goes for the heroine.) I don't think I've ever seen a book where the hero does something as extreme as rape... they wouldn't be the hero then!


message 12: by Rosanna (new)

Rosanna Leo (rosanna_leo) Tracey wrote: "Well, from a "does this book make me want to stay up all night and read it" standpoint, when the hero is just too perfect, too good to be true, I just want to roll my eyeballs. (Same goes for the h..."

Tracey, I just read The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss and it basically begins with the hero forcing himself on the heroine. It's historical, and I tried to keep that in context, but to my modern mind, it was jarring. It all got resolved in the end but definitely made me question how this sort of hero would work today.


message 13: by Ipshita (new)

Ipshita (miss_romanceaholic) | 1031 comments Infidelity and physical or emotional abuse are big NO-NO's for me.
I may forgive the hero's other misgivings if he shows true regret for them and does a good grovelling to redeem himself.
However, I have seen the heroine forgive the hero very easily just because her 'love' for him turns her into a saint! That really annoys me.


message 14: by Pamela(AllHoney), Fairy Godmother (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 14527 comments Rosanna wrote: "Tracey, I just read The Flame and the Flower and it basically begins with the hero forcing himself on the heroine. It's historical, and I tried to keep that in context, but to my modern mind, it was jarring."

One of my fave books of all time. I first read it back in the 70s. But I can see how it wouldn't go over with today's PC environment. It is still on my keeper shelf ☺


message 15: by Rosanna (new)

Rosanna Leo (rosanna_leo) Pamela(AllHoney) wrote: "Rosanna wrote: "Tracey, I just read The Flame and the Flower and it basically begins with the hero forcing himself on the heroine. It's historical, and I tried to keep that in context, but to my mo..."

Definitely a keeper, just a different sort of keeper! :)


message 16: by Darlene (new)

Darlene Deluca (darlenedeluca) | 488 comments Rachel ~ SnapDragoness wrote: "Misogynists are people that hate woman; while that's a character trait that's acceptable in a villain, it's not okay in a hero!

I don't like alpha-holes, either... : ("


Haha! Love that term! Arrogance . . . ugh.


message 17: by Rachel Annie (new)

Rachel Annie (snapdragoness) Darlene wrote: "Haha! Love that term! Arrogance . . . ugh..."

There's a fine line between confidence and outright arrogance. It must be tough as an author to get the balance just right.

Then again, everyone has different preferences; you can't please everybody!


message 18: by Christina (new)

Christina | 5 comments Great lists! I would like to add a past love for the male heroes. By the end of the book I am not sure if he has any love left to give to the heroine. That and when the hero has had a great past love he seems to whine and push the heroine away for the entire book until the last chapter or two. Just doesn't work for me at all. Or maybe I am just a sucker for "the one", not "the two".


message 19: by Lisa Kay, Tinker Bell (new)

Lisa Kay (lisakayalicemaria) | 21897 comments **hee hee**


message 20: by Jade (new)

Jade | 4 comments I agree with pretty much everything already mentioned.

-Misogynistic
-Abusive
-Infidelity
-Belittling women and/or the heroine
-Too conceited
-Sleeps around too much - like a ton of no-name one night stands on a regular basis
-When he's described like "ALL the women women him, he could have ANYONE he wanted, the hottest man EVER" etc etc lol. Too over the top for me.


message 21: by Pamela(AllHoney), Fairy Godmother (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 14527 comments lol. Yep! Great list, Jade!


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