My First! SciFi Short Story(well, Flash Fiction)

[Chris]

You might want to provide a link to where people can find it. : )

[Robert]

It's great to see this post, Elizabeth. I've read your story a couple of times and I have some thoughts. I'll stop by later today, read it again, then post my comments.

[Robert]

You’ve written a tense and descriptive scene, but I felt there were some places that needed more detail or clarification (this story first appeared to me as a dream sequence, possibly for a teaser prologue, with lots of open and intriguing questions). Very visual and engaging, even with the “speed bumps” along the way (I could see a vacant city and abandoned concrete buildings; also manufactured my own cyborgs a la I, ROBOT holding the death ray from WAR OF THE WORLDS). And now, after a few reads, I can add: a very clever concept.

These are just my opinions, of course. It’s best to have a handful of others so you can determine if my criticisms are valid.