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Ethical Debates
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Public Humiliation as a Form of Punishment
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Kate wrote: "Anuj wrote: "H99 wrote: "Anuj wrote: "alex {stay strong and ignore bullies} wrote: "no it sucks when i was younger (10) i was buing some food and my parents opleneley talked and yells at me "no won..."Grown up people doesn't understand but their simple line...can be destructive.... How ?
"You fatty. Won't be able to fit through a door soon. Why do you eat so much? Stuffing your mouth with food."
When a 10 year old hear this.. he bow down his head... His heart contracts and he feels pain... He leaves the food on counter...and move on... But this line stays with him forever... Whenever he look at his parents he feel they are disgusted of him... They don't love him...because he is "FAT"
And that is destruction of the child's innocence...
Kate wrote: "Anuj wrote: "H99 wrote: "Anuj wrote: "alex {stay strong and ignore bullies} wrote: "no it sucks when i was younger (10) i was buing some food and my parents opleneley talked and yells at me "no won..."@ purvika and kate
parents were his family
how you are so sure that they were mocking their own child
we are considering only kids's view , kids even dont realize how much parents sacrifice for their child so that he or she can have a better life
you think they were mocking at him , and i think they were concern about him and where it says that they don't love him i think they said it bcoz they love him and thought our child would understand us , may be it came out in frustration bcoz he wasn't listening his parents friendly advice and parents are humans too , parents should only love their child that makes them good parents(kids even don't realize what they say to parents sometimes)
my brother used to say to me that i ll become a street vendor (to make fun of me) , that doesn't mean i hate my brother even that encouraged me to work hard and i really at good position today
and plz let it be a healthy debate don't use abusive language if you got a point post it
and purvika for every parents their child is always miss universe or mr world no matter how they look like but being healthy is not a crime and where that comment suggest they said it bcoz they dont like appearance of their own kid
Anuj wrote: "and plz let it be a healthy debate don't use abusive language if you got a point post it"Ummm... I didn't use anywhere I think... If you felt that way then am sorry..
Purvika wrote: "Anuj wrote: "and plz let it be a healthy debate don't use abusive language if you got a point post it"Ummm... I didn't use anywhere I think... If you felt that way then am sorry.."
not you purvika (msg number 99) you were really great having a great debate with you
Anuj wrote: "@ seirra plz enlighten me, what i said"
Okay, so Alex said that his parents said this to him: "no wonder your so fat every time we go out you buy food and stuff into you mouth your not going to be able to fit though a door in a few years"
And then you said: they were right obesity is worst nightmare you can have, just a box of disease
I mean, do you honestly believe that Anuj? Do you realize how hurtful those things can be to a person?
Anuj wrote: "Kate wrote: "Anuj wrote: "H99 wrote: "Anuj wrote: "alex {stay strong and ignore bullies} wrote: "no it sucks when i was younger (10) i was buing some food and my parents opleneley talked and yells ..."
LOL cuz maybe I know of his story pesonally and maybe I know things that you don't know :) See, this just shows that you cannot just assume things. SO many teens are facing anorexia. Some parents are just plain out cruel and will say "you're fat" as a 'meaingless' insult that actually means, A LOT.
LOL cuz maybe I know of his story pesonally and maybe I know things that you don't know :) See, this just shows that you cannot just assume things. SO many teens are facing anorexia. Some parents are just plain out cruel and will say "you're fat" as a 'meaingless' insult that actually means, A LOT.
I'm sorry but my opinion is that Anuj was personally attacking Alex, also. For me, if anyone told me that my parents were right in calling me fat, I would not eat. I mean I seriously would. I have the same self-esteem as most girls and guys my age. He's around my age. And then guess what? I would be very underweight. So you cannot just say something like that to someone. You cannot include his personal problems in your reasoning, if it can be hurtful, okay?
I'm sorry if I got out of hand there but that comment very upset me. I know him personally and I know for a fact that his parents had no right to say that to him, and it did not help him in the least. And I also know that he's never "stuffed" himself with food. C'mon guys. This is public humiliation. To tell someone that their abusive parents were okay in what they did, how they raised him.
I'm sorry if I got out of hand there but that comment very upset me. I know him personally and I know for a fact that his parents had no right to say that to him, and it did not help him in the least. And I also know that he's never "stuffed" himself with food. C'mon guys. This is public humiliation. To tell someone that their abusive parents were okay in what they did, how they raised him.
Sierra wrote: "Anuj wrote: "@ seirra plz enlighten me, what i said"
Okay, so Alex said that his parents said this to him: "no wonder your so fat every time we go out you buy food and stuff into you mouth your ..."
that was my point of view and you were like i mocked him for his being fat ,i said that there intention were right
H99 wrote: "Anuj wrote: "they were right obesity is worst nightmare you can have, just a box of disease"Is being obese really the worst thing that can happen to a person? I can name dozens of things that are..."
obesity is not worse prblm but for parents it can be, they will see only their child's prblm whether it is being fat or taking drugs
H99 wrote: "Anuj wrote: "and purvika for every parents their child is always miss universe or mr world no matter how they look like but being healthy is not a crime and where that comment suggest they said i..."
you are right but think parents cant hit their kids bcoz it will hurt them physically ,cant use any other bcoz it will hurt them psychologically then what should they do, just sit back
whatever way a parent may choose (scolding ,hitting, public humiliation etc )for their kids it will somehow going to effect kids, it mean they should not be doing anything to their child just give them advice ,now its their own destiny
all i am just saying parents are not always wrong sometimes kids can be wrong too and its their parents duty to make them understand that they are wrong. parents love their child and sometimes they choose hard way if they cant handle some harsh words from their own parents thn how they'll going face the world , which is not a lullabyi am not understanding it our parents take care of us for their whole life and we cant even handle some comments from them
i think here cultural differences are clashing don't you think
Katie wrote: "I'm sorry but my opinion is that Anuj was personally attacking Alex, also. For me, if anyone told me that my parents were right in calling me fat, I would not eat. I mean I seriously would. I have ..."i didn't asked him to post that here , i was not humiliating him i was countering it , that is what you do in debates
Anuj wrote: "Sierra wrote: "Anuj wrote: "@ seirra plz enlighten me, what i said"
Okay, so Alex said that his parents said this to him: "no wonder your so fat every time we go out you buy food and stuff into ..."
So if you had a son and you called him fat or told him he wouldn't be able to fit through a door in a few years, your intentions would be good? Degrading your child for his or her physical appearance, would be okay?
Anuj wrote: obesity is not worse prblm but for parents it can be, they will see only their child's prblm whether it is being fat or taking drugs"Please, not all parents are that shallow. Drugs I can understand, but obesity? The two don't even come close.
drugs kill you rapidly while obesity slowly you can search about it
If my child was overweight I would not call him fat, I would not disregard their physical appearance. I would cook them healthier meals and would do activities together that are healthy and will improve my child's well being in the long run.
You hv such a good kid he listens to you what about who dont
Ryon aka (Evan) wrote: "If my child was overweight I would not call him fat, I would not disregard their physical appearance. I would cook them healthier meals and would do activities together that are healthy and will im..."Exactly.
Anuj wrote: "You hv such a good kid he listens to you what about who dont"That's a matter of raising children to obey their parents as they are supposed to. If you're children don't obey you, then that's probably your fault.
parents are always wrong if they try to discipline they are to blame that they are torturin their kids if they dont they are to blame that they were not good parents
Anuj wrote: "parents are always wrong if they try to discipline they are to blame that they are torturin their kids if they dont they are to blame that they were not good parents"Yday I showed this thread to my father, because I wanted to see what his opinion will be on this topic , so here is what he said:
"Disciplining and mocking are two different things. First of all, just because we are parents we doesn't get the certificate to mock. There are ways to discipline your child which not only helps your child but also make them feel that their parents care for them. Because that is important, a child should never feel alone at home because they have a tender heart they do not know what the intentions of parents were, it is upon parents to make their child understand their intentions and the way of doing is by showing it. Thus to create a better human out of children."
I am Indian too, was raised with Indian ethics... But my father never raised hand on us or mocked us... Yes!! We got lots of scolding but even his scoldings showed he loved us... Even his discipline showed he care for us.... And mind you we three were not the easiest kids to handle especially me and my elder brother.....
And now I can say that I am proud of my father.....
Lia wrote: "I for one think that reward and punishment go hand in hand with discipline. Does putting a placard on your kid and then making him face the highway discipline him? Not particularly; I think that ..."
So true, that's what I an trying to say .... If the child is behaving this way then parents should see that somewhere along the line something went wrong.
A child always make their parents their role model... And often children are mirror image of parents that's why it is said that if you want to see how parents really are, see how the children behaves ..... Because they learn what they see... Not what they are told....
Being a student of psychology, I have studied the behavior of child because that is what I will be specializing in and it is. To be believed that a child is no different from an adult. Even at the age of one or two they understand the environment of your home... And often a child who grows into troubled teens are normally those kids with not healthy environment.
Parents who always fight: children when grow up are always aggressiveand have trust isissues.
Parents who leave their kids to be raised by nannies : children grow up feeling neglected and abandoned thus find ways to show it to parents.
Parents who abuse other family members or kids ( abusing includes every aspect, beating mocking humiliating and thrashing) : children when.grow either turn abusive themselves or have lack of self esteem thus does not believe in self and often take bad decisions in.life.
Parents who are caring and lead a happy life from the day of child is born: children when grow up are happy in nature, bold enough to make decisions and are respectful towards parents. Thus their scoldings are taken in a good way because they KNOW what their parents said are right for them.
We think we can tell kids do this and they should do.... NO ...
A kid learn not by telling but by seeing.... Have you ever realized how a kid start to speak. Does parents teach them to talk... ? No... They learn because they see and hear what their parents are talking ...
You tell your kid "eat properly and don't talk while eating " will they do it if you yourself are not following that rule..... NO ... They will follow it if they see you doing it....
Why do you think a child cuss at the age of five ? Because he hears parents cussing ...then he get scolding for cussing in front of all. Will he learn no... He will think if they can why can't I ?
H99 wrote: "Purvika wrote: "Anuj wrote: "parents are always wrong if they try to discipline they are to blame that they are torturin their kids if they dont they are to blame that they were not good parents"..."
Yup... He is the best dad in the universe.... :D
H99 wrote: "Purvika wrote: "Lia wrote: "I for one think that reward and punishment go hand in hand with discipline. Does putting a placard on your kid and then making him face the highway discipline him? Not..."
Exactly..... Now what would have happened if your brother cussed in front of friends of your father? I bet your brother didn't cussed after your father stopped cussing.
This is what it is: human behaviour of understanding. Your dad did the right thing and in doing so he disciplined your brother without shouting or humiliating.....
now it is getting in my nerves so ill be concluding this topic from my side ,i am feeling like i am debating on monsters (parents )vs kids(angels)if a parent try to teach them something they are torturing(and i don't think every kid is an angle who listens to his parents when they go mature on them ) if they don't they are bad parents
i am tired of this and even getting repeated answers to my question
so this will be my last post to this topic ,you can't change my views and i cant change yours, we can just go on and on
for me parents are not always wrong and kids are not always right
Anuj wrote:"for me parents are not always wrong and kids are not always right"Getting on your nerves?! HAHAHA seriously!! O_o
Parents are not always right and kids are not always wrong...too...then.. (notice the probability of its occurrence?)"...and on that basis you're imposing punishments...mehhh
Since you're comparing your logic using disparate 'weak' scenarios. Tell me how is it different than child molestation. Use the logic of 'murder' in this context...(find a better argument scheme...)
Another 'scenario' question; would you blame a woman if that woman is raped?
Now now, notice the relation...? Notice your logical fallacy yet?
(A reshuffled lesson)
There are two types of tortures:
Mental (psychological/emotional) - e.g, in this case, Public Humiliation/abashment
Physical - Slapping, punching etc (may lead to mental torture on spec. contexts)
Which has more impact on kids?:- Mental (as it mostly lead to suicidal thoughts, depression, )
PS: No one wants to change your views Anuj, think all of us want you to stop spewing shit in public and trying too hard to validate it; you already bullied a kid (directly/indirectly) in the light of the debate and hope you realize it too. People care about each other, and with beliefs like that makes you less than an average human being. It's not about which ego wins in an argument. What's the point of a debate if you can't learn anything!
Since you aint a kid, this wont qualify as a public humiliation. How about that mate!? And take it easy, don't think about it too much.... (:
H99 wrote: "Anuj wrote: "now it is getting in my nerves so ill be concluding this topic from my side ,i am feeling like i am debating on monsters (parents )vs kids(angels)if a parent try to teach them som..."
Yesss...
Think it's also being said that it's some kinda cultural clash. Not really. Children humiliation/bashing is not a cultural thing; if that's the case then that culture is 'backward' in a universal perspective or it's just stereotyping and disrespecting the culture...Getting out of town much?
And those who says "it's my opinion"...is a weak getaway instrument in a debate. Well how about your opinion sucks on a intergalactic scale tripping on an astronomical power and that's 20 other people's opinion including mine...Behold! bow down before the holy unanimous opinion. tut tut
Totally agree...and I personally think being fat is not a curse...and parents shouldn't mock their child for being one... Instead help them with it ... Prove them that even if they are fat it doesn't matter to parents "BUT" it will be good if he/she loose weight because of health benefits.
What can parents do : instead if saying what Alex parents Said...they can say lets exercise together as a family.... Eat healthy food...visit counselling ... And go for programs...THAT HELPS...
I AGREE MOCKING YOUR OWN CHLD MIGHT MAKE HIM LOOSE WEIGHT BUT AT WHAT COST.... HE WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERYTHING IS ABOUT APPEARANCE...YOUR PARENT WILL LOVE YOU ONLY IF YOU ARE FIT.. AND THAT IS HURTFUL... AND IT WILL HOWEVER EFFECT THE CHILD TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE CHILD WILL HAVE THIS NOTION THAT APPEARANCE MATTERS NOTHING ELSE....