UK Amazon Kindle Forum discussion
This topic is about
Alligator In My Basement
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David E. Manuel alligators and other stuff
Debbie wrote: "David wrote: "Amazon giveth and Amazon taketh away. (Blest be the name of Amazon?)Anyway, Amazon has removed a couple of reviews from my books in the last few days. Haven't really figured out why..."
I can understand their concerns. Writers aren't supposed to have friends, after all. I saw Norman Mailer speak once, and I'm pretty sure he didn't have any.
The elephant in the room may be an alligator.
There's an alligator living in Danny Foster's basement, but that's not what has him worried. He's worried one day his wife will realize she's married to a jerk and leave him. He's worried the principal at the middle school where he teaches English will find out he doesn't know what he's doing and fire him. Mostly he's worried that his father was right, that he's a loser who will never amount to anything.
The alligator's about the only thing that doesn't have him worried. He's been taking care of it since his father got it years before. But when it escapes its enclosure and takes to sitting at the foot of the basement stairs trying to figure out how to climb them, Danny realizes he's going to have to deal with the single problem he thought he had a handle on. Because an alligator on the loose is the one thing that can shatter Danny's tenuous existence.
Release date August 3, 2016. Available for pre-order.
Pre-order at Amazon UK
Pre-order at Amazon US
The alligator is coming.
Release date August 3, 2016. Available for pre-order.
Pre-order at Amazon UK
Pre-order at Amazon US
Just to be clear, this is not
by Captain Kangaroo.
Here's a bit of an excerpt.
THERE’S AN ALLIGATOR in my basement.
Yes, that’s right. An alligator. Eight feet long, scales, massive tail, big rack of teeth. In my basement.
I don’t mean an imaginary alligator, or a metaphorical one, either. The alligator in my basement is not some subconscious invention, the product of my insecurities or emotional inadequacies. This story is not Harvey and I’m not Jimmy Stewart. My basement is occupied by a big, carnivorous alligator.
Most of my life has been preoccupied with the care and maintenance of this creature. An alligator in your basement is not something that can be ignored. Just feeding it and cleaning up after it is more work than most people might think. Actually, most people have probably never considered the difficulties of caring for an alligator. Why would they? Unless you have an alligator living with you, there’s no reason one’s needs would ever be more than a passing curiosity while visiting a zoo. But when you have an alligator as a permanent tenant, you think about these issues. You think about them almost all the time, in fact.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not a plea for sympathy. My life’s okay. In fact, the casual observer would assume I’ve got it made. I’ve got a nice house in the suburbs that’s fully paid for, absolutely no debt or money worries, a steady job, a wonderful wife. Absolutely no reason to complain, really.
Except for the alligator.
Release date August 3, 2016. Available for pre-order.
Pre-order at Amazon UK
Pre-order at Amazon US
Tomorrow is release day forAlligator In My Basement.
Are you sure we're ready???
T4bsF (Call me Flo) wrote: "Are you sure we're ready???"You'd better be! ;-)
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""Looks like the alligator is here.
He came as fast as he could.
Wondering what the reaction will be...
You're hoping for a big SNAP!!
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "You're hoping for a big SNAP!!"But honestly expecting more of a YAWN.
As long as it isn't a technicolour yawn!
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "As long as it isn't a technicolour yawn!"
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "http://www.urbandictionary.com/define..."Don't have a picture for that, thankfully.
I'm sure I could find one for you. It would be no trouble....
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I'm sure I could find one for you. It would be no trouble...."Aw, can't you just find another cute alligator picture instead? lol
I'll have a look tomorrow and see what I can come up with.
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I'll have a look tomorrow and see what I can come up with."I'll be waiting patiently!
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""Thanks! Momma alligator is too cute, as is Kris Krokodile!
And these had escaped to MTM's thread.
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "And these had escaped to MTM's thread."
Yes, I saw them there. Glad they found their way back home!
Goodness knows what would happen if they escaped. Into the sewers, for example.
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Goodness knows what would happen if they escaped. Into the sewers, for example."Or found their way into someone's basement...
Basement? Surely not. That would never happen to an alligator, right...?
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Basement? Surely not. That would never happen to an alligator, right...?"lol just sayin'
An alligator (lantern) story I found on the web for you, Mistress Lantern!First:
And here's the story:
http://thedomesticgoddesswannabe.com/2013/09/allie-the-alligator-lantern/
I'm gonna have to fence off this thread, I see.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "I'm gonna have to fence off this thread, I see."Good sturdy chainlink fencing. And maybe a few armed guards!
Those top strands are electrified, I assume...
Thanks for the alligator lantern post, by the way. I was a bit puzzled by the 2-year old going to school and being expected to help make crafts though - thats a bit ambitious!
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Thanks for the alligator lantern post, by the way. I was a bit puzzled by the 2-year old going to school and being expected to help make crafts though - thats a bit ambitious!"Yes. That photo of them all with their lanterns...I don't think any of those lanterns were made by 2-year-olds. But maybe the point is to give the parents more activities to keep them out of trouble.
The parents may not be entirely happy about that. But it could be worse...
Sorry but there seems to be a dispute about the ownership of the baby alligators. Can you please look at this address label and confirm it is for you?
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Sorry but there seems to be a dispute about the ownership of the baby alligators. Can you please look at this address label and confirm it is for you?"
Pr$#% #ure tha#$#@ )y addr$$%($)#@>:)$
Ok, thats fine. I just wanted to make sure they weren't misdirected.
Puck's pretty complacent about this whole alligator thing.
Yep, that is one laid back dog. I wonder what would happen if a full grown alligator crept up behind him and said SNAP,
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Yep, that is one laid back dog. I wonder what would happen if a full grown alligator crept up behind him and said SNAP,"
He probably thinks that's unlikely...
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Books mentioned in this topic
Molly Malice in Alterland: We Wake Up Screaming (other topics)A Feast of Famine (other topics)
Alligator in the Basement (other topics)
A Feast of Famine (other topics)
A Feast of Famine (other topics)
More...
There's plenty of room for everyone, and every elephant!