Dragons & Jetpacks discussion
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Describe a Book as Poorly as Possible

For recent group activity:
A Fireman grows weary of his civic duty, and secretly tries to cause that which he has sworn to prevent.
A Pug discovers he has magic powers just in time for an alien invasion ;) I'd read this book!
Some kid with hairy feet has to take this ring or bracelet or something back to the place it was made. But the bad guys don't like that - duh duh duhhhh.
Can I do the movie version of a book?
Two hairy little men discover their love for each other and walk on great journey to properly dispatch faulty engagement ring. After months of perilous travel ring is dispatched. Immediately after it is discovered that they could have just booked airfare and skipped entire perilous journey.
Two hairy little men discover their love for each other and walk on great journey to properly dispatch faulty engagement ring. After months of perilous travel ring is dispatched. Immediately after it is discovered that they could have just booked airfare and skipped entire perilous journey.
Lancer wrote: "Can I do the movie version of a book?
Two hairy little men discover their love for each other and walk on great journey to properly dispatch faulty engagement ring. After months of perilous trav..."
Hahaha!
Guess this one:
Basically just sex, violence and incest.
Two hairy little men discover their love for each other and walk on great journey to properly dispatch faulty engagement ring. After months of perilous trav..."
Hahaha!
Guess this one:
Basically just sex, violence and incest.
Kevin wrote: "Four siblings take LSD and hide in a wardrobe."
HAHAHA! You guys are cracking me up.
HAHAHA! You guys are cracking me up.
Paul, I would have to add a line to yours.
Cocktail ginger cause trouble at school. Busts out gnarley lute solo.
Cocktail ginger cause trouble at school. Busts out gnarley lute solo.
Little girls runs through neighbourhood playing with 6 ton red dog. Neighbours are strangly alright with this.

a child with hairy feet falls in with 12 other more hairy small people to go to one of their families old home and dispute tenancy.
(I might piss a few people off with this one)
Guys virgin wife gets knocked up... Humanity is brainwashed. Many wars ensue.
Guys virgin wife gets knocked up... Humanity is brainwashed. Many wars ensue.
Lancer wrote: "(I might piss a few people off with this one)
Guys virgin wife gets knocked up... Humanity is brainwashed. Many wars ensue."
Ahahahaaa! I love it!
Guys virgin wife gets knocked up... Humanity is brainwashed. Many wars ensue."
Ahahahaaa! I love it!

Guys virgin wife gets knocked up... Humanity is brainwashed. Many wars ensue."
Ahahahaaa! I love it!"
Seconded.
For an entire series--
Lunatic steals an antique time machine and has adventures in time and space, usually with attractive young women.
Lunatic steals an antique time machine and has adventures in time and space, usually with attractive young women.

"Best book ever!" — a blogger, customer, or reviewer never heard of.Plus similar quoted praises filling up more than a screen scrolling trying to find an actual book description/synopsis
"Enthralling, gripping adventure from start to finish." -- another never heard of.
"I never read these kinds of books; but, this one is so amazing I am glad I did." — 12th author sockpuppet also unheard of
"If you like Tolkien you'll love this even better author." — again, no one ever head of.
" Utter genius!" — ...
[Sorry, couldn't resist because I just keep seeing one too many of those lately and wanted to share the misery. Not that I scroll down any more; I've learned to just move on to next book. So glad goodreads doesn't allow praises and review quotes in book descriptions.]
An actual screenshot of a real book description on Amazon:
And one from kindle device itself shopping directly from device:![]()
*snort* so helpful for deciding if book is of interest to me (has made me leery to click an also-enjoyed or top-whatever link on kindle or Amazon trying to see a book description).![]()
Yeah I HATE it when there's no synopsis on a book. Peoples' reviews will NOT encourage me to read it if I don't even know what it's about. Synopsis then feedback.

And on sites that let you quote praises, after the synopsis please. A one-liner not likely that useful, much less if from someone or some screen/blog name we don't know (a notable like Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson, sure; media like New York Times and Library Journal, okay ...). On sites like Amazon (and devices like kindle) where there is actually a separate section for praises -- put the praises there but not hijacking the synopsis.
A one line "loved book" quote is not helpful feedback or review; the actual review might be helpful in deciding about the book after reading a decent synopsis but not the quoted praise snippet.
Rinn wrote: "Yeah I HATE it when there's no synopsis on a book. Peoples' reviews will NOT encourage me to read it if I don't even know what it's about. Synopsis then feedback."
I also hate when the synopsis gives away the entire book. Just the basic premise, please.
I also hate when the synopsis gives away the entire book. Just the basic premise, please.

The scariest things are mists and some ash. Evil king dude.
(this thread is so funny guys)
Johanna wrote: "People go nuts for metals, fly around with coins.
The scariest things are mists and some ash. Evil king dude.
(this thread is so funny guys)"
Just finishedthe second book last night (again...)
The scariest things are mists and some ash. Evil king dude.
(this thread is so funny guys)"
Just finishedthe second book last night (again...)

The scariest things are mists and some ash. Evil king dude.
(this thread is so funny guys)"
Just finishedthe second book last ni..."
Did you already read book 4?
.. Future project goes wrong because of a electricity problem and the stupidity to make everything even safety rely on electricity. And a stealing guy. And some dangerous animals.
Johanna wrote: "Roger wrote: "Johanna wrote: "People go nuts for metals, fly around with coins.
The scariest things are mists and some ash. Evil king dude.
(this thread is so funny guys)"
Just finishedthe secon..."
Alloy of Law? Yeah I read that one and have preordered the next two in that world.
The scariest things are mists and some ash. Evil king dude.
(this thread is so funny guys)"
Just finishedthe secon..."
Alloy of Law? Yeah I read that one and have preordered the next two in that world.
Example: It's about a boy with a scar on his forehead that goes to school and everyone finds out that he can talk to snakes, which makes them think poorly of him.