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Renee's Scattered Brain
message 201:
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Wendy
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Jun 16, 2009 07:00AM
I'm sure it's great Renee. As always, your word counts are brilliant.
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Yeah, when I'm tired I write more twisted characters and plot. It could be because I really want to hurt someone, I get it all out in the writing. I save the love scenes for my good days. There aren't usually too many, of either.
*avoids renee for a moment* I don't want to be in swinging range then. :D
I've gotten really good at channeling the aggression. It was that or explain the bodies piling up. I don't know if you noticed my furniture.....I'm not the friendliest person when I'm desperate for sleep. Kurt will take the kids and leave for a few hours so i can get some. He would never get up in the night with them, or get up before the crack of dawn when they "hear the birds", but he'll make sure i get a nap when it starts looking life threatening for him.
When you leave a mark they tend to remember.
I've got to start coming in the mornings. This place is messy. I can't clean after i've put in a whole day already. Bucky! What is that on your head? Is that the lampshade? Do you realize that was your roommate not so very long ago? Whatever, pretend like you can't speak, like your dead, well i guess you are, but you're not dead dead. Everyone knows about the prisoners now, so you can't be wandering down there riling them up anymore. I know you guys do it, so don't deny it. I told everyone they're treated well and i don't need them mumbling like idiots when people come to view them. Which reminds me, I should feed them. It's been a few days, I've got some moldy bread here somewhere. i'll treat them to some Sunny D too, that stuff reminds me of a night not too long ago....I can't drink it anymore. Am I leaving the shade Bucky? Okay, it's your choice.
I didn't do so well for word count yesterday. Babies crying all freaking day and a toddler who has decided to take no prisoners in the potty training wars. It was a long day. i managed 1520 words. I know, I'm slipping.
I made up for it today though, when they left i told Kurt he was on duty and I went to work. 4485 words today. Much better.
The total so far= 166,672 words
I finished book three of seven for one story, it's at about 45000 words now, I think i might get over 100000 with this one. I'm excited. I really like this character. I'll be shattered if it ends up being crap. No, I won't. I'll know everyone else is just lying, it can't possibly be crap. no way.
take no prisoners in the potty training wars...Ah the potty wars, many a good rug and couch have i lost to those fearful zones of wet and poo. More fun yet is when the night peeing Never seems to go away... aarrggghh!
Did you know one out of every 3 boys wet the bed until they are eight to ten yrs old? and something like one in 10 do it clear into Jr high? I did not know that before... but now I do!
When we get that licked we'll burn the matress. Poor thing has been washed soooo many times.
And you are absolutally right- it won't be crap. ( I insist I get to read it by the by) EEEEKKK!! Teach your prisoners it is impolite to goose people. I wasn't even wearing anything sexy! Just muddy, wet, filthy farm clothes from all this rain we've been getting.
I'm so sick of rain. We may not be able to plant our third planting of corn if it doesn't let up this next week. That would be a bad thing for us.
It's raining here too. Didn't i tell you the prisoners are kind of desperate for human contact. They wouldn't care if you were covered in poo and wearing a potato sack, you'd be hot stuff to them. I should allow more visitors. They're supposed to be punished though,not socializing.You can definitely read this one. I don't think there's anything scary in it. Just a big jerk killing off a bunch of people. It's kind of funny, my kind of funny isn't everyone's kind of funny though.
I think your e-mails are funny, surely that says something about my sense of humor.*leaves a big stick outside the door*
there, now all you lovely young people who visit Renee's cubicle can beat her prisoners off while you stay and chat. Just be sure to leave the stick for the next person.
Thanks Wendy, I have a stick, I guess no one noticed. Or they didn't want to touch the blood, it's dried you know. Ihaven't used it in a while. I've made coffee if anyone's interested.
**grumbling and staggering through the door** Why don't people call to say they're coming? Stupid people who think I get up before the birds because I like it. I should make a rule, if you don't call to say you need a sitter, you can't come on my property. Too tired, up late with stupid internet people, internet down, Kurt yelling about why I let the kids on, and after three hours on the phone, it was the phone lines in the entire area. Stupid men and stupid internet and stupid parents. Grr...I am so tired. Good morning Eustace, your turn for the lampshade I see. How are the prisoners? Never mind I'll check for myself.
Hello Mr. Phone Company person. Do you like your new room? This is what happens when I pay for a service that NEVER works. Yes, it's a shame isn't it. Don't get lippy or I'll get the stick again. I mean it, you could joing the others upstair if you'd like that better. Yes, that's what I thought.
Despite people around here conspiring to drive me completely over the edge I did get some writing done yesterday. 2488 words. Close to 3000 but I got tied up with the phone company and the internet people until almost midnight. That's four hours of calling and waiting and trying to decipher to broken english they were speaking. Then they were angry with me because I kept saying 'Pardon, could you repeat that?' Well, I've got one of theirs now, maybe I'll see better service next time.
Total words so far; 169,160
Yeah, don't you just hate outsourced call centres?
Yes, our phone company's call centres are based in India. Isn't that lovely? The poor employees are taught basic english and expected to converse with angry customers about things they can't do anything about. Then they're frustrated, we're frustrated and the language gets colorful until I have to hunt down an executive just to get my point across. Oh well, everything is fine now. I'll be fine by 7pm tonight when the last kid has left and I can relax for two days. Oh wait, Kurt is off for the weekend, there will be no relaxing. One more week until his fishing trip, I am excited. For him, I'm excited for him to go away with his buddies for a week. That's why. Not because I get seven blissful days of leaving the lights on, letting laundry pile up, and eating whatever I want without someone saying "You're going to eat all of that? You're going to eat that too? No wonder you can't fit into your shorts chubby." Yes, it will be nice, I'll miss him a little. You know, taking out the dogs and whatnot.
OOh, that chubby bit would hurt my feelings. I'd probably not respond too well to that, as in I'd find somewhere else to sleep for while (spare bed/couch/wherever) Need lovin? too bad, the "chubby" person is on strike.SO did you act all bleary and irritated when the early unannounceed people showed up or did you put on a fake happy face?
I can't put on the happy face when I'm bleary and irritated. I think she almost left, but she's not real concerned about other people. Her ride didn't show up and she cried on the phone for a while and found someone else. i shared some of my precious coffee and sent her on her way. The poor baby is just miserable today. I am counting the hours.As far as Kurt, he says I have enough confidence for everyone. Those remarks, if I'm in a mood, will get him hurt, but not if i'm in a good mood. I just mention his 275lbs and the hair that no longer ventures up to his head and he shuts up. Just because he's jealous of my thick, lustrous locks and my crazy metabolism doesn't mean he should insult me. Also I'm not good at the strike thing. He knows eventually I'll come to him. I'm not proud of it, but that's the way it is. Someday I'll find some willpower. Then he's in trouble.
Hey, Renee, I read GAWI on your profile page. I loved it. Very well done. Sick and twisted and all that. You definitely portrayed him as a jerk, and I thoroughly hated him by the end. No, actually from the beginning.Two recommendations:
1) Watch your verb tenses. Most of the time it was past tense, but every now and then, it switched to present tense. Probably a good sign that you were getting into your story.
2) Watch your pacing. Sometimes, especially when you were writing dialog, you went from one action to the next (talking is an action) without pausing to allow the reader to see inside his head. If you have a whole lot of he said / she said / he said / she said with nothing inbetween, you get what I've heard referred to as "Talking Heads," as if there are two heads floating in space and you can hear them in the darkness.
You can read more about pacing in this article I wrote on single POV narration. http://afantasyfiction.blogspot.com/2...
Hope that helps. You've been doing an excellent job.
thanks so much, I had a vague suspicion as i wrote the other day that I was doing some of those things. I appreciate the review, now I won't second guess while editing. I'll check out the article when the little ones all go home.
Renee, I'm going to read GAWI first thing tomorrow morning. It'll go nicely with my baco and eggs. Then I'll comment on it.
I've only posted the first book, but I've finished three and nearly done four. THere will be seven. I think. I'm at 170 pages though, if I don't shorten somewhere or give up the idea of seven books, seven chapters each, seven deaths, I might wind up with an awfully long book. I welcome your opinions and suggestions of his jerkiness and the story. There is a deleted scene that I felt shouldn't be posted on goodreads, young eyes and all. If you want the full, uncut version, I can email it to you.
Oh, yes please Renee. I like uncut. It's a bit like films - if they contain sex, nudity, extreme violence, drug abuse, bad language and car chases, especially if they have scenes that might upset or shock - that's definitely a film I have to watch.
Right, going beddy-byes, peeps! See y'all soon.
Night Paul, I'll send it later tonight when I've got a little more time.
Eustace I'm not even going to ask...just put your clothes on and we'll forget this ever happened. You too Bucky, frigging wierdos. I'm not in the mood today you know, I can hear the whiners in the basement already. I'll feed you when I'm good and ready so shut up. Don't make me get the toolbox! Coffee, I need coffee. Grown people do not belong in bunkbeds. If that kid doesn't start sleeping, we're going to have Words.Okay I should get the the words. Friday = 2085 and yesterday 2229 words.
Total so far = 173,474
Morning Renee. Want a little JD in that coffee?
Sure do! I could use some muscle relaxers to for my aching back. I stayed up with Kurt and we watched Dane Cook's stand up show until around 1am. Kennedy woke soon after, so i went in there. Our room smelled kind of pukey still, Kurt had a good night at baseball apparently. He doesn't feel a need to clean that stuff up right away, probably because I will. Anyway so I went into the girls' room to get her back to sleep and i fell asleep and she woke at 6am, so I had to get up. I could barely stand. Very irritable this morning. Probably a good time to write about Jack.
I was up (too humid, couldn't sleep) at around 4:15. Longest day, but there was no sunrise to see - too overcast. So I'm doing the plot, characters, timeline and research for "Resurrection". I've been at it for about 9 hours now. Think I'll take a break for some lunch in a bit.
I can't wait until you have something to show us. Oh shoot (you know the word I really mean) I'll get to reading your stories right now while I have one kid awake and playing with barbies. Tell me though, I know you are busy, how is a certain story about a creepy town coming along? I only ask because I would like to see your revisions. I hate waiting and i've been really good so far. Really, I haven't even sent a hit crew to your house, yet.
Oh that ;) Yep, it's done. Watch your email in a bit. There's only a couple of areas that need major revision, and we need to talk about them. If I wrote a big chunk, ot would obviously be different from your voice and tone, so I'll just give you my ideas about that, and we can go from there.
I got it, then i read this so my reply is kind of stupid. I'll look at it, and hopefully get to the revisions this week, Dear old Jack will have to wait. Next week Kurt will be gone fishing so that will free up some time for me too. You men are definitely time hoggers. you want dinner, laundry, sex....there aren't enough hours in the day you know.
Okay, no words yesterday and very few so far today. I've been editing so the writing is taking a backseat. I'll make up for it by Fri/Sat. By then I should have the edit done. I better go back to it. **somebody help me!!***
*happy birthday plays*My B-day is tomorrow and the party goes until the 28th!
Please attend in GreenDaisy's Grand Gelatinous Globe
feel free to feed (click) on some of the younger dragons
Toby, you are a chair, not a table. Why are all of those empty bottles on you? And a table is the other way, your belly should not be the top. Who is messing with my furniture? If any of those buggers downstairs got out and messed things up...I bet it was that Wendy again. Celebrating her little vacation away from it all. She might have invided me, it is my cubi after all. Who made coffee? Eustace? come on man, you can tell me. No? Well, whoever it was, thanks.I've been dutifully going through Happiness Hills and making a bunch of changes. Only 100 more pages to go and then I can rewrite a couple of scenes and we'll be ready to send her on out. I'm so excited. Now that I know what I shouldn't do, I've got a lot of editing in other projects that I'm dreading.
I wrote 1045 words yesterday too...not 2000 or anything, but hey, I edited 200 pages. Give me a break!
I haven't had a chance to do my take on those three scenes yet, but I will asap. If you then pick and mix the best bits, I'll give the final version a quick proofread - then you're ready to go!
I've redone the last part so that the you know what isn't mentioned at all and I've added a bit to the scene at the town limit, with the flames and whatnot. What was the other scene? Oh, and I've finished fixing everything, I hope.
The other bit was the blowing up of the town centre. I'll have a stab at that if you like.
would you? I've looked at it and I'm not sure, I tried a couple of things, but they just don't seem to fit. Of course three little kids screaming at you and dying from humidity tends to slow down the creative process.
Thanks, I only have one little one here most of the day so when she goes for a nap I'll have another go at it. Just so you know, when I changed the 'pregnancy' bit, I left it so that they find out, but no mention is made about the consequences. I also made it so it wasn't mentioned as much. I wanted the 'comic relief' if you know what I mean and I thought the way Tom reacted was important for later when he's so nice and she's like "Whoa, what's up with Tom?" Know what I mean? When you look at it you can give me an opinion. Maybe I should take it all out, but I thought this was good too for those reasons.So you're thinking when the bomb goes off (Joe's bomb right?) They should be there? The scene with the phone call about it should be gone and they should be near the site for some reason to witness it? Hmmm...now that I'm thinking about it I might have some more ideas.
I reckon Caleb and Aud should go to town for a final shopping trip, getting more provisions or something. Then they're just pulling up at the kerb wehen the first bomb goes off down the street. I like writing explosion scenes so I'll send you what I've got when it's done.Yes, as long as Tom can stay pissed off about the act itself, and we don't have any mention of the consequences, I think that would do nicely.
Yeah, I kept the part where he's like "Four times?" and the bit about the rabbits. I took out the dialogue about responsibility but kept Rosie asking him if he were jealous and then the parts where Aud says its her business, etc. The scenes with Christophe are changed a bit too, took out a few things there and added to point the attention more to him and Aud's banter. I think it works better, and gives more to the story than letting the cat out of the bag so soon. I left any mention of it until the last chapter, and added that they thought she was only so far along but the tech. finds she is further, tying it all in to that night.
I look forward to your ideas for the bomb. Do you want me to send you the part I changed at the road? Or do you want to wait until we hammer out the last part and then look over the whole thing?
If we wait until it's all finished, then review the entire thing. Fun, isn't it?
Fun isn't exactly the word I'd use. I'm impatient to send this off and now that I'm so close to having something worth sending, I am having a hard time controlling myself. I hate waiting for anything. It's awful. While I was busy plugging away at the revisions, I suck at punctuation I've learned, I was distracted but now, One more scene....too much. I'll work at it today, I'm also working on GAWI again, it was good to take a little break from that, I've got the ending figured out i think and guess what came to me last night? Michelle, is .....no you'll have to read it to see where she fits. Maybe not where you would have gone, but still good just the same.
Excellent. I look forward to reading the rest of it, when it's done.
Yes, when it's done. At the rate I'm going, I should be 'done' before the end of July for sure. It's coming a long fast and I've almost finished book four. Five and six are the last. I'm scrapping the seven book idea, but there will be seven deaths.
Hey, Renee, I was thinking about you today. My husband grabbed a book on disc for a murder mystery that I've never heard of and can't even remember the name of. In the story, this guy's wife is missing and the main character suspects foulplay, so she's investigating.
I thought, he should've used bees and then nobody would suspect a thing. Well, at least a public death, completely attributed to an accident. Everyone would know where she was so no one would have a reason to suspect.
Anyway, I think your story made quite an impact on me. I'll never be able to read another mystery again without thinking of you.
goes looking for a tin foil helmet
--Rita
Writer's Paradise
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Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (other topics)Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (other topics)
