Christian Supporters; We won't be shaken! discussion
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Racheal, RayOfSunshine
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Sep 16, 2013 09:15AM
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I kinda need help with my friends, all of them come to me with there issues even if I can't handle it. Due to this I have been hurting myself and I don't know how to stop...
So many people get offended by Christian values or beliefs these days and so many people don't want to hear about Jesus. I want to keep believing in God, no matter if I'm knocked down for it because I'd rather put God first. So, here's my advice: How can I tell people about God and his love for them without sounding too arrogant or judgmental? I don't know about the rest of you, but it does make me sad to see so many people reject Jesus when he laid down his own life for them at the cross, he trust me he didn't have to. He did it out of love and not for his own benefit. One of my prayers as a believer is that people (both who I know and celebs) can accept him into their heart and receive his message.
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Hurting as in what? Cutting? Please stop hurting yourself! Its not worth it, if they are doing that; tell 'em to stop and that you need a brake. :) its alright, don't be stressed.
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That's soo true and inspiring! Yes! I agree:)
*Sighs dramatically,* Anastacia, Why are you hurting yourself? God loves you and so do your friends on Goodreads. So There is no reason to hurt yourself. It drives me crazy when people Hurt themselves. Seriously! Give me one good reason why it helps, and don't tell me that it "feels good to cut" or whatever becuase that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! And don't say that it's hard to explain becuase that's why you're in this advice colum, to explain your problems. I have a brother with special needs and lost a classmate to cancer and I don't self harm! honestly....
I don't know why, most of the time I just start doing it before I realize what I'm doing. And I don't cut, I hit myself with various things like hairbrushs and my own fists. I think the main reason is cause I don't know how to handle my own emotions.
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No judging, I've never cut myself but I've thought about it and I have had friends who have done it, so I know its tough. Everyone has a hard time through life and not everyone can handle it correctly. That's okay though, were here to help, pray, not judge. And I've heard that it does feel good to cut (or aleast they think it does) it makes them feel like the pain that they really are going through isn't as bad.
I feel for you Anastacia! I think there is a relief that comes from hurting yourself. You know, there are other outlets. One that has helped me was running, or doing some kind of exercise. Your body outputs another kind of stress hormone that counteracts the other stress you are feeling. Lately, I have also found that a punching bag helps. That probably sounds stupid, but if you try it, it's amazing! I imagine all my anger going out through my fist and into the bag. (Punching the air doesn't help as much.)I'd be willing to bet that you already do know that God loves you and doesn't want you to hurt yourself. But sometimes it's hard to hear that still, small, quiet whisper in your ear, which is God telling how much He loves you. It gets drowned out by the louder needier voices of your friends, and sometimes, yourself.
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Anastacia, don't hit yourself! It's not worth it:) God loves you, you are his angel and he doesn't want you doing that. We all care about you and your friends (that keep coming to you with their problems) probably don't know how it affects you. Let them know that you need a brake, k? They're coming to you because your a great friend and they feel like your a good person to talk to and ask for advice. But I do know it may be hard to have multiple people just dump their problems on you; so just tell them you need some space and maybe a lil time to think:)
It's good to cry you know? Crying does NOT make you weak, it shows that you are strong. It's kinda like a relief, ya know? I used to think to myself "Don't cry, hold it in. Your weak if you cry". But you know what? It's not like that at all! So if your having a hard time with your emotions, just cry. Let it all out:) you will feel better. I promise. Cry as long as you want, its like a relief:)
Also, I find music helps too, its great to listen to music when your upset, angry, or even happy! Find something that inspires you maybe?
You could also talk to someone about it, like a friend? Choose a friend that your close to and just talk about it:) it'll make you feel better, don't hold your feelings inside because then one day you'll just explode all over someone that doesn't deserve it.
I used to have a friend that I talked to and she even helped me stop hitting myself for a few months. But she graduated from school and we kinda stopped talking, so I went back to old habits.
Do your parents know that you do this to yourself? Have you asked a counselor or psychiatrist for help? Hurting yourself won't make your problems go away, asking for help will. Also, pray to God for help. Depend on him! The world thinks that depending on someone makes you weak, but when you depend on God, it makes you stronger! Please don't do this to yourself. It won't help you feel better. If i had the same problem you have and If I throw a hairbrush at my head or punch myself with my own fists, my head is definitely going to hurt, but my problem is still there. actually DO something about your problem, don't take it out on yourself.
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Racheal wrote: "Just don't make that person your rock, Lean on Jesus! Cause he WONT EVER LEAVE!"I am working on trusting Jesus more, but I have had some trouble with it cause I'm not used to trusting others. I have started a Bible Verse Book to help, and I found my One Minute Bible for Teens. I found some verses that I like and made me feel better.
Raven wrote: "Do your parents know that you do this to yourself? Have you asked a counselor or psychiatrist for help? Hurting yourself won't make your problems go away, asking for help will. Also, pray to God fo..."
The sad thing is, yeah they do but neither of my parents want to admit I have a problem. I have asked them about going to counselling but they always have other things to do. And I don't hit my head I hit my wrists and arms.
I agree with the other girls, too - prayer can make a difference. It is going to be hard when you start. And just a little prayer a day will get you used to it. Maybe try to pray at the same time each day. You can start with one sentence, if that's all you can get out. "Dear God, please help me see your love." or "Please, Lord, take my worries from me." What's important is to picture that you are actually talking to Someone, not just talking into the air. Or talk to God like your friend and tell him everything!
@Racheal! That's not what I meant!! I said depend on God! Not the friend!
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Yeh, I agree. Its wonderful to talk to God. He's not only our friend but our father:) its great! What's the best part? He won't ever judge you, he's a great listener, and he'll always love you:)
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Okay:) when I said don't do that, I was talking to Anastacia, not you lol.
Yes, I think Rachael meant "Don't hurt yourself," not "Don't listen to Raven."
Anastacia wrote: "I don't know why, most of the time I just start doing it before I realize what I'm doing. And I don't cut, I hit myself with various things like hairbrushs and my own fists. I think the main reason..."Anastacia, I know exactly how you feel. The reason you're doing this is because you feel stressed and have learned to deal with it by finding relief in things like what you're doing now. The only way you can stop this is by learning of other ways to control stress, and not bottle it up. I have a few suggestions if you're willing to try:
1. Next time you want to hurt yourself, lay your palms flat on your dresser, and stare at yourself in the mirror until the urge goes away, however long that may take. It's extremely frustratingly at first, but you need to stay like that until you stop wanting to hurt yourself.
2. Do yoga or meditate (prayer is a form of meditation, you know) every day in a calm environment to help relieve stress.
3. I find that drawing, writing, keeping a diary or something like that really helps express your emotions. When I used to get really upset, I would would write really violent, angry stories and when I was sad I would write really sad stories. I would always go back after a day or so, when I felt better, re-read the story, and then delete it. Sometimes, they'd be like 10 pages long... Also, knife throwing is really stress-relieving. Nuthin' like impaling a piece of wood to get out that anger.
4. Mind over matter. It's so true. Basically, it's all about willpower. If you want to stop bad enough, then you most certainly can.
5. Friends are there to be help eachother and have fun with. You're not their emotional trash can, and if they're treating you that way, then they're not friends. Think about it, if your "friends" are causing you to harm yourself, is it really worth being friends with them? There's like 6 billion people in the world; you'll find other friends.
6. Pray. You can even keep a prayer journal, if you want.
I hope this helps:)
How can I explain to my cousin that going against the standards our parents and fellow church members teach us is a bad idea? It's not a super big problem, but I still want to help. What can I do?
Katrina wrote: "How can I explain to my cousin that going against the standards our parents and fellow church members teach us is a bad idea? It's not a super big problem, but I still want to help. What can I do?"Pray for her.
Make it known to her that EVERYTHING has consequences. Even if it's something small that she's going against, it's probably a rule for a reason (like to prevent something from harming her relationship with God) and is therefore, important. If you can, tell her exactly how things have the potential to hurt her.
If she's still really having problems with the standards, encourage her to sit down and have a calm, mature talk with a parent or an adult she can trust who can answer her questions. It needs to be a conversation, though, NOT an argument.
Lastly, be a good example:)
Hope this helps:D
Thanks, that helped a lot! I will try these things, and hopefully the problem will be resolved. :)
So me and my friend had this massive fight in front of a lot of our friends and coaches at rock climbing and aren't on speaking terms. To make it worse I found out earlier that night that he has possibly got caber an I feel really bad about what happened and don't know what to do I feel like crying cause he is my best friend and I have some how managed to muck some thing up yet again what should I do.
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Why'd you fight anyways?
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Emma (Emz) XDXP wrote: "So me and my friend had this massive fight in front of a lot of our friends and coaches at rock climbing and aren't on speaking terms. To make it worse I found out earlier that night that he has po..."
Apologize. Try to make it clear that you regret the fight, you regret how you acted and that even if you disagree, you still care about them a great deal, and you don't want it to come between your friendship.
@Katrina: what "standards" are you referring to?.. I personally, think following the Bible is more important than following a "standard" laid down by the church (yes, there are many standards from the church that are not biblical.)
@Anastacia: I'm sorry to hear that. That's rough... Self-harm makes sense in a way; inflicting physical pain in order to "drown out" the emotional pain... However, pain is pain, and while you might be able to drown it out for awhile, it will always come back until you really deal with it. One of the most common advice suggestions out there is "give it to God."
Sounds so easy right?... I have to admit, I still haven't mastered this in some areas. But I would advise you to pray about it, tell God everything you're feeling, thinking, fearing, all your hopes, all your dreams, everything. And then, stop worrying. Be stubborn. Don't let worries enter your mind, don't let things bring you down. Make the decision to be happy, and let God worry about everything else for you.
I have tried to talk to him but he won't let's in and he is the reason we fought he said some really hurtful things.
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Maybe he said them because he was stressed out or something?
I don't know I may see him tomorrow and I'm going to try and talk to him but I don't know what to say help please.
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Good?
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Hmmmm... How's about... "How are you doing?"
I might try that I really hope he will listen cause last time I spoke to him he just walked off and ignored me then he canceled on me earlier in the week when we had a day off and he was coming over. So he is avoiding me it seems.
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Good luck :)
Yea hopefully it doesn't end in disaster
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Wanna talk about it?
It has been more than a week and he has been away on out camp all that time for school. So I really hope he listens.
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Wanna talk about it?"
Yea, sure. I was happy. And then this lady comes around and tries to tell me that Im doing my group wrong, sorta speak. And calling it ridiculous, and how I can't be serious about it. And it ruined how I was happy. And Im pretty sure the lady is like 30! :/
Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Mojoboy31 wrote: "Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Im fighting with someone. Again. -_-"
Wanna talk about it?"
Yea, sure. I was happy. And then this lady comes around and tries to tell me that Im doi..."
Just ignore it your opinion That matters
Wanna talk about it?"
Yea, sure. I was happy. And then this lady comes around and tries to tell me that Im doi..."
Just ignore it your opinion That matters
Mod
Wanna talk about it?"
Yea, sure. I was happy. And then this lady comes around and t..."
...yea, I guess....
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Wanna talk about it?"
Yea, sure. I was happy. And then this lady comes around and tries to tell me that Im doi..."
You know what, every one is entitled to their opinion... Even if they're wrong.
I have *some* experience with online forums, and things. I've been posting, modding, leading, etc in them for probably ten years now. And your group Rise Up is one of the best I've posted in.
@Emma: baby steps, okay? Sometimes you have to start small. I'll be praying for you.
I know what it is like for people to look down on you and disapprove of your ideas and what makes you happy so just keep doing what makes you feel good cause everyone has a different opinion and you can't let others get to you.
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Remember that it is never you that others are persecuting, but rather Christ in you. Your destiny is too great to be distracted by people who are not supportive of you. Shake it off, run your race, and be an overcomer with forgiveness. Bless those who curse you; pray for those who spitefully use you; and God will honour you!
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Why is it that when I try to point out that sin is wrong to people, they always fire back with things like: It's my life, I'll do what I want, or it's not your place to judge, or it's not my place to judge, which they're right on the second one, I'm not the judge and neither are they. God is the ultimate judge, but that's still not an excuse to sin on purpose. I'm just trying to speak the truth in love, but I feel that I'm getting persecuted for it verbally. Even some of my family members have gotten offended.
