Problems

[Bekah]

Sure why not? I kind of knew mine was hopeless anyway

[Madeline]

I've only had one really good/best friend.
His name is Luke.
I used to live in provo, and lived right down the street from Luke. We were bestist buddies since we were both in kindergarten. When we were in 1st grade we were 'boyfriend, girlfriend'(we pecked lips behind my sweater) but that got weird fast and then we were just best buddies again. Then when I was like 11ish we moved a half hour away. At first we still visited alot, but now I see him like once every two months and it's all akward, 'cuz we kind of act like strangers. Then last time he came for my brother's missionary farewell, and so he was all dressed up in a suit and he was GIANT. I've allways been taller than him and then suddenly he was like a foot taller, and wasn't wearing his glasses and his hair was a bit longer and rumpled all cute-like and he had these big MAN HANDS. And then friends, I deveoped a major crush. Plus he is such a gentelman, he holds doors and everything!

But then I was like sadness, were're not good friends anymore and by the time I turn 16, (exactly one year) we won't even be friends anymore because we never see each other! Anyways so we went down to provo a couple of nights ago and I saw one of my other old friends, Kenzie. So we start talking and I subtly ask her how Luke's doing, she lives just down the street from where I used to live so she lives close to Luke too. She then pronounces that she is going to marry him.

This is my reaction
inside: "LIKE HECK YOU ARE, I WILL KILL YOU YOU SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON!"
outside: "oh. really... that's weird, I didn't know you had a crush on him."
and she says "Oh I don't, I mean he's attractive, but I don't like him like that, I've got a crush on someone else, but I'm going to marry him because he has high standards (churchwise not girlwise, he's like the shyest most adorablest guy in the world)and stuff like that. So I smiled and nodded and sent her evil death glares inside of me.
So here's the problem:
I'm gonna marry the dude, I have DIBS! Also I won't date until I'm 16, so how do you string a guy along for a year long distance? Also my parents (ahem, my mother) are super strict and don't even let me in the same room as a guy, I wanted to hang out with a group of my girlfriends and go to the movies but couldn't because apparently 3 guys (one of them being one of my freinds 2 years younger brother) and 4 girls is a 'group date'
I'm never going to be allowed to leave the house if my mother has any say. (and it's not like I'm a hussy or a flirt, I treat most guys like poison and have virgin lips!)
Anyhoo... thoughts?
P.S. wow that is LONG, it's practically a short story.

[Madeline]

Yep... at least you see your crush at school, The last time I SAW my crush was four MONTHS ago.

[Bekah]

Wow. I am so sorry. I have virgin lips too. The one guy I ever liked that I knew is on my coed soccer team and sees me as a geek who manages to play defender. I think that you still do have a chance. I mean you were friends and you can become that way again. I can't really give advice because I have like NONE. But I really hope it works out.

[Bekah]

I only see my crush in Algebra, making him probably view me as a geek. 8(

[Madeline]

Wait, I thought you said he was a senior? What grade is he in?

[Bekah]

He's a junior. And he obviously does NOT pay attention in school therefore he is stuck in Algebra with 8th graders. I meant that next year he would be a senior, sorry.

[Madeline]

Wow... I mean my sister failed like half her classes junior year, but she's still years ahead of this guy in math.

[Bekah]

Yah I still don't get why I like him. I guess it might be his dark eyes and cheekbones...

[Madeline]

But that's only like three years age difference... That's kind of on the line... (how old do you LOOK?)
If you look old enough for him to possibly hang out without constant teasing from his friends you might have a chance chucking your math book at him. It's worth a try :)

[Bekah]

I guess I look about like a freshman or sophomore, I don't really know. But I may try to chuck some books at him either way :)

[Madeline]

Beck wrote: "Yah I still don't get why I like him. I guess it might be his dark eyes and cheekbones..."

dark... blue? brown? green?
Or do you just know they're dark becuase you don't creepily stare at them close enough to tell what color they are?

[≈aleх: pнoenιх oғ тнe ғlaмe≈]

I'm obsessed with Hetalia O_O

[Madeline]

Not that I would ever creepily stare into a boy's eyes to see what color they are....

Yeah, who am I kidding, that's totally something I would do.

[Bekah]

Brown...not that I stalk him on facebook or anything...lol

[Madeline]

I made a facebook page just to try to do that to my crush, but he didn't have one. Then I remimbered one of my friends who was facebook friends with one of our mutual friends once said that there was a pic of me and Luke and the other boy on the other boy's facebook page from when he came for my brother's farewell, so then I friend requested him (that's gonna be super awkward when i see other boy at school and he's gonna be all like WHY and assume I have a crush on him because he'd be the only friend I have on it) so that I could see the pic with me and Luke. and then all creepy like build a scrapbook page around it or something.

[Bekah]

That is pretty funny. Not gonna lie.

[Madeline]

I know, now I'm dreading hafting to go to manufacturing on monday. Because me and other boy have it together. Now I'm going to have to convince him that no, I do not have a crush on him, without admitting he's my only facebook friend because I created it to get that picture of Luke. Yeah, this isn't going to be awkard at all. Ugh, *facepalm*

[≈aleх: pнoenιх oғ тнe ғlaмe≈]

That seems... awkward. My crushes aren't my friends on FB. LOL I have it easy

[Bekah]

Well...you could argue that all the people you sent friend requests to haven't yet answered...For however many months you have had a facebook...

[Madeline]

Yes, but at the same time, I REALLLY want that picture of Luke. (he's wearing a suit, and it's the only picture with me and him that's been takin since we were like 11, I have a ton, with me and him we was just itty-bitty peoples.) Also he's just not as attractive then as he was now, more adorable-like than sexy-like when he was litte.

[Madeline]

So I can't decide if I want other boy to see friend request so I can see the pick of me and Luke or if I want to erase the friend request from the face of the earth to avoid this awkwardness. Ugh!!! there is frustration inside of me!!!!!

[Bekah]

Wait, can you not see the photo currently?

[Madeline]

Beck wrote: "Well...you could argue that all the people you sent friend requests to haven't yet answered...For however many months you have had a facebook..."

oh, you know, about.... 2 days, When I remembered that my friend had told me about that pic. I also really hope he doesn't look at my page and realize it is completely blank, no posts, friends, profile pic, ect. So then it would REALLY look like I'm a pathetic loser, who made a facebook page just to facebook stalk him. When really I just want to get a pic of my crush who is not him from it. Which is only slightly less pathetic... oh Mad...

[Madeline]

Beck wrote: "Wait, can you not see the photo currently?"

Nope, only friends can...
sadness.

[Bekah]

:( Sorry. Stupid stalkers, causing us to need restrictions on Facebook. My crush is an idiot, therefore having all his photos public

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

wait so if u made a fb page with NO info whatsover, then how does he know its you?

why dont u simply change the name, if u hve ur real name on it, then when he acceps you, proceed to download the pic and then delete ur account.
he will hve no idea who it is. and leave ur page blank.

[Madeline]

oh wow... now I feel stupider than a sack of bricks. Why didn't I use a fake name? Duh... but wait, the other boy as I am going to contiue to call him, I do in fact know, so that way he'd accept my friend request (pretty sure anyway) but I'm not sure he would if he didn't recognise the name so...

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

ok so he will, but when u meet him he'll realize that it IS you...

and then it looks like you didnt bother much with ur account and u just wanted to friend him...

[Madeline]

Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale wrote: "ok so he will, but when u meet him he'll realize that it IS you...

and then it looks like you didnt bother much with ur account and u just wanted to friend him..."

What? I didn't get the fisrt part of that, but the last part I worry makes it look like I have a crush on him and just made a fb page so i could fb stalk him.

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

i mean, if he meets you in real life, and u tell him ur name, (and thats the name on facebok)
then he'll know tht it was YOU who made that account and then he'll think you like him... or sumfin

[Madeline]

which would be... awkward, espesially since other boy is one of the only guys in our school who is nice to me, because we have family connections. This is going to go into a whole 'nother issue I have that goes like this:
Ashdon (that is other boy's name) lived in the same neighborhood as me and Luke and his (Ashdon's) and my big brothers are best buddies. Ashdon and I both moved very close to eachother, about a halfhour away from our old neighborhood, where before mentioned crush (Luke) lives now. Me and Ashdon go to same school and see eachother regularly, but were not GOOD friends in provo or now, we nod in halls, that is the depth of our friendship. But it goes into more depth when we put the families together. Our families (me and Ashdon's) somtimes do things together. We once crammed both of our families (he has 9 peoples in his, I have 7 in mine) into one motor home and went on a ten hour trip to Nebraska together, so I've been crammed in a motor home for ten hours with him and we sometimes have multi-family gatherings (it's all very complicated and awkward)
Anyhoo, the last time I saw Luke was at my brother's missionary farewell when the before mentioned picture was taken. Luke and Ashdon are in suits and I'm all fancy too.
Now I want the picture which is somewhere on ashdon's facebook page according to one of my friends.
And it will be extremely awkward if Ashdon sees my facebook page 'cause ya know....

[Madeline]

Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale wrote: "i mean, if he meets you in real life, and u tell him ur name, (and thats the name on facebok)
then he'll know tht it was YOU who made that account and then he'll think you like him... or sumfin"

I allready Know other boy (Ashdon) He is the third person in the Luke and me pic. So the minute he sees my name and fb page it opens that whole packet of awkward sauce.

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

i dont get it then... whats ur problem?
if u dont want him to know its you, then just change the name....

but u dont wanna change the name.... so....???

hw about you just add more freinds... like send requesto to more ppl that you know.... so then he'll just think that you newly made a facebook accout and so u wanna add him along with lots of other people. Then it will look sublte. Cuz so far ur only to-be-friend is this Ashdon.
If you friend other people too then he wont think you only want to friend him....

get it?

[Madeline]

Ugh, I changed my mind I don't actually care that much. He can just think I've got a crush on him.
It's not like it's true so....

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

ok then. i guess you have nothing to worry about.
and hey, if he thinks u have a crsh on him, then at least it will boost his ego/sefl-confidence... so i gues ur doing a good thing hahaha

[Madeline]

I've just decided this is my latest tragedy (I'm having alot recently.)

I play soccer. I love soccer. I just got put on a new team on the account of I play rec. and not a team where you stay with your team through the years. And this year I'm in the next age group up so everyone is very old and better at soccer than me. The coach is also the highschool soccer coach and she is INTENSE. We run a mile before every practice and have to keep running throughout the whole practice. I hate it.
Also I usually play goalie, but this year there is a way better goalie on our team so she plays it. I can't run. I am hopeless in other positions.
So today was our first game. I got put in defence first half where I SUCKED. I was by far worst on the team. So second half she put the other goalie in as forward and me in as goalie. I blocked the first two. Caught one, and Then jumped on one and got kicked in the butt VERY hard (still hurts, but hey I was happy to do it) Then I missed EVERY SINGLE SHOT AFTER. I do not do well under pressure and got worse and worse. I felt like crying and running off the feild, I hated it and just wanted the game to be over. I have never wanted to quit soccer, and looked forward to every game. But now I'm dreading hafting to ever play again.
I even looked up to see if there was a girl's tackle football league or a girls rugby league in our area.(There wasn't) I'm so depressed, confidence level 0.
I think my parents would be ticked off if I quit, so I was considering maybe going off sugar, chocolate, greasy foods, high calorie foods, ect. so I'd be in better shape, but I can't think of how I could do that with the way my family eats. We don't own healthy food. I mean I'm not fat, But I run about a 9 minuite mile and huff and puff and am ready to pass out when I'm done. I also know I need to practice running, but I hate it SO much and I'm always depressed and self-loathing after I run. (seriously, do I just not have theses mythical endorphines everyone talks about? I allways feel depressed and crap after running)

[Bekah]

So sorry your game didn't go well. That stinks. At the tryouts for my team I did so awful and was beat by someone younger than me, so I was ticked. But a nine minute mile is actually pretty good...just so you know. My dad couldn't run that well at first in basic training in the army.

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

Mad wrote: "I've just decided this is my latest tragedy (I'm having alot recently.)

I play soccer. I love soccer. I just got put on a new team on the account of I play rec. and not a team where you stay with ..."

yup. endorphines are crap. no one feels good after exercise its just a conspirecy made up by the government to hide the evidence of aliens in Area 51... haha..haha..ha..ha ***trying to be funny

OK so isnt there another soccer team you can join, that is not so difficult? Or like a smaller soccer club??? Or isnt there one at school u can join?

REally the one u described seems pretty intense!
I think its not doing you any good (self'confidence wise) since you're sayinng it doesnt make you happy.
You shoud ALWAYS do something that makes you happy. If you're not enjoying it, and know that this isnt for you, then maybe it was good you let it go.

You can continue training, and maybe next year when you're better you can re-join.
BUT really all that running you do, it seems INTENSE like WOW. DONT DONT push urself so hard. I mean you're not Usian Bolt... BUT you could be! Is there a running group? Maybe you could be in a track team...?

BUT really, running and playing sport IS supposed to make one feel good, ppl do it becuase they like it. BUT you are pushing urself too hard that its just becoming like torture... (since ur ready to pass out, and you feel even worse after a run and all)

If you REALLY wanna continue to play in that team, then you could continue to train, but really there are MAJOR health risks for pushing too hard. Keep your body healthy. then your mind will be healthy and THATS when u feel goo bout urself.

umm... i REALLY dont know what to say to you... and Rose isnt here right now.... but thats all i can say.
BUT im promising you that you probably have more potential to join a proffessional soccer team, or be an olympian than those other girls.

[Madeline]

Yes but the problem is I don't do halfway, My nine minute mile means my vison is starting to blur around the edges and once I may or may not have run so hard that my throat closed up a little and caused me to vomit afterwards.

[Bekah]

And if you do plan on continuing, HYDRATE. Drink lots of water so that you don't get parched and sicky when you run. Well AS sicky.

[Madeline]

Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale wrote: "Mad wrote: "I've just decided this is my latest tragedy (I'm having alot recently.)

I play soccer. I love soccer. I just got put on a new team on the account of I play rec. and not a team where yo..."

It's a rec. team There is no less intense... I just suck. Which sucks because last year I thought i was pretty good. I played goalie and missed 5 balls the entire season. We were undefeated.This year we've played one game, I'm the worst one on the field, I missed over half the balls I missed last season in half the game. So I want to quit, but then my parents probably won't let me, and I won't have a good way to burn off my fubbyness (I usually lose a pound or two during soccer season) But I hate other sports and I despise running, but I need a good way to stay fit, but thinking about having another game like that just makes me want to cry.

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

Mad wrote: "Yes but the problem is I don't do halfway, My nine minute mile means my vison is starting to blur around the edges and once I may or may not have run so hard that my throat closed up a little and c..."

what the HELL???? why why why would you torture ur body like that? Like, is there apoint to this??? Whye the hell do you run like that then? you think it will make ou better? Its probably doing more harm than good.

maybe THATS why ur feeling sad and unfit. yyou DO NOT run or do exercise like that!!!

((well unless u wanna like get VERY ill or sumfin))

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

Mad wrote: "Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale wrote: "Mad wrote: "I've just decided this is my latest tragedy (I'm having alot recently.)

I play soccer. I love soccer. I just got put on a new team on the account of I ..."

um really have u said what ur telling us to ur parents? I DONT think they will make you continue to play the sport if it is soooo painful that its like a living hell!

[Madeline]

??? Cause I have too. I will not finish close to last during P.E. because that makes me look like an elephant (my body itself does thet enogh for me thank you) Also you get a bad grade if you don't run it fast enough and I will not have P.E. bring my grade down.

[Madeline]

Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale wrote: "Mad wrote: "Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale wrote: "Mad wrote: "I've just decided this is my latest tragedy (I'm having alot recently.)

I play soccer. I love soccer. I just got put on a new team on the a..."

No that's just P.E...
Lately I'm dreading the mile in P.E. and in soccer.

[Sasha Ivashkov-Herondale-Jackson (aka Clarisse), I <3 Percy *sigh]

Mad wrote: "??? Cause I have too. I will not finish close to last during P.E. because that makes me look like an elephant (my body itself does thet enogh for me thank you) Also you get a bad grade if you don't..."

oohhhh i thought that you just joined the team for fun... hmmm well i guess ur in a bit of a pickle.

[Madeline]

Okay, let me make myself clear, We run the mile in P.E. That is required.
Soccer is totally unrelated to P.E. Yes it is just for fun... Except for this year it isn't fun it's like: look like an unfit, tallentless elephant three times a week!!! but my parents won't let me quit because they had to pay for it, and they say I need the excercise, and I agree, I need the excersice. But... It hurts for me to run that much, and I hate it.

So I have to run a mile at soccer practice and when we run the mile at school.

[Madeline]

I'm usually pretty good with body image, but after P.E. or soccer I feel like gagging myself. Then I'm all like no, that would be BAD. It would give you less energy not to eat... right?

[Bekah]

Right. And eating less will only make you more tired and sick feeling.