At which point did they fall in love?

[Nathalia]

I wonder if Suzy and Nick were in love when they married, but did not want to admit it, because then it would have been more than a money making scam or did they fall in love in their mutual absence and would that not be a fantasy, since they barely talked?

[Ilona]

I believe that Wharton doesn't give the reader any reason to think that they were in love when they got married. It's true that they liked each other because the scam was not just based on making money but rather on enjoying themselves with the help of this money and you hardly can enjoy yourself with the person for which you don't care. Susy and Nick had some feelings towards each other in the beginning but it as not love definitely. So my opinion is that they fell in love with each other "during their mutual absence" as you have put it.

I shall explain how that can be possible. When you see some person every day sometimes it appears rather difficult to tell whether you really love him\her. You just get used to see this person and it is easy to mix up love with pure habit. But i you part for some time it becomes possible to clear it up - a habit will disappear, but love won't.

This was the case with Susy and Nick - they had an opportunity to think about their feelings, to think about advantages and disadvantages of each other and finally to understand they were in love with each other. The attraction they fl towards each other in the beginning developed into love.

I hope I managed to make my opinion clear :)

[Phrodrick slowed his growing backlog]

A very good question. I am not entirely sure it matters.
They were definitely in like, but neither was fully an adult in terms of who they were versus who they were going to become. Like wise neither fully appreciated the other until each had had come through their respective trials.

If you will allow a rather stretched analogy:
One reason why first love is so intense is that it is rarely based on the every day reality of adult decision making.
The other person may be no more than a projection of the person one person thinks they want. Beautiful, funny, intelligent and basically no work to love.

Real love is what works after you depend on each other for daily decisions, like who will do what or pay for what or if and when to have kids. And BTW just how far either will go when under pressure to go wrong.

However much love they had when life was perfect and responsibility free, they truly loved each other afters they came to respect the other person's personal values and value as a participant as a member of a relationship.

Gee I think I just came to like this story even more.