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Contest 5/21-5/28 2009
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~Paige's Entry~WC: 602 words
Bethany
I smile. Fake. I’m happy. Fake. I pretend I’m fine. Fake. I pretend I love him. Fake, so fake.
Everything I do is fake, and it’s so wrong. I know it’s wrong.
It’s terrible of me to use him this way, but I need him. He’s my crutch.
The truth is, David is my best friend. He’s my ray of sunshine, the reason I get up in the morning when I just want to die from the pain.
But I don’t love him, and I’m not happy.
But David loves me. And I’m afraid if I tell him the truth, he’ll leave me. I don’t love him, but I need him. If he leaves me, my world will crumble..
It’s already so fragile, so fractured. I’m lucky I haven’t gone insane yet.
The pain is because- I hate to say the words. They sting and pinch and make me want to scream in agony, but they’re true.
I killed my sister.
It’s true. I did. I didn’t mean too, but I did.
She was an angel, really. My little seven-year-old sister had golden curls, bright blue eyes, and was the sweetest little girl I ever met.
Not once did she misbehave, not once was she bad, at least not in my eyes. Maybe they’re clouded by my grief, but those our my memories of her.
It was my fault.
My little sister, playing in the driveway. I didn’t know.
I was so excited. It was the night of my first date. David had asked me out, and this was before I knew the truth. I thought I loved him then. It took my sister to realize the truth.
I didn’t look. I thought she was with my mother, and I didn’t look.
I got in the car and backed it out fast, so fast she didn’t have time to even move.
I ran over my baby sister.
She was only seven, only a little girl, and I killed her.
I remember her bloody, broken body. I heard the thump, felt the bump, and panicked. I jumped out of the car and saw her, and I screamed.
Mom came running out and scooped her up, not saying a word. Dad followed and spoke words, so cold. His worry chilled me to the bone. My father was my rock, and he was terrified.
“Tanya,” he said, talking to my mother. “Get in the car.”
He drove us to the hospital at 95. I was in the backseat, speechless,
frozen. This was all my fault.
My mom held her baby in her arms until she was covered in blood. She crooned softly to her, speaking comforting words.
“Oh baby, oh my little girl. Hang on, honey. Please hang on. You can’t leave me, Bethany. Hang in there, darling..”
We reached the hospital where they took her away from us. That was the last time I ever saw her before the funeral.
I killed my baby sister. If I had looked… I I hadn’t been so self-absorbed, if I had just payed attention, she’d still be here.
So I go through life faking it, faking everything.
Because the truth is, I just want to be where she is. I want to hold her in
my arms and tell her stories. I want to kiss her golden curls.
And I would do it, too, except for my parents. I couldn’t do that to them, after they already lost Bethany. It would kill them.
I fake everything. My entire life is fake now, and even though David and my parents try to hold me above the flood, I can still feel myself being carried away.
***TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY FOR ENTRIES***
Mod
Mod
Title: Poser
Author: Elaine
Word count: 1198
My ears rang as the count down echoed through the starting gate. 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1! Everyone on Josh's team were yelling and clapping. He flew out of the gate and...disappeared. What had I gotten myself into? What had I expected to do? Just fake my way through it with a laugh? Yes, that's exactly what I'd been planning, and up until this point, doing. I closed my eyes to hide the sickly drop from view and focused on breathing, which was made only more difficult by the tight, cold mountain air.
“You're up next, Alec!” Jerome, one of my “team”, said excitedly.
I just nodded. What were they expecting? What had I led them to expect? Some sort of miraculous ride? First place finish? They were just going to be lucky if I didn't chicken out. And, if I didn't do that, they were lucky if I didn't die on my way down.
I was at the last stop of the great US Alpine & Freestyle Snowboarding Tour and all I could do was groan at how it had all happened. Dumb immaturity. And what had started out as a crazy joke had now turned into a serious breech of rules and the law.
It had all started in good fun one Sunday when some friends and I were at our semi-local Ski Resort in Vermont. It had been Jerome, Avery, Erin, Becky, Troy, and I, Alex. All Juniors at the private high school for high-class families, we were all snowboarders and took trips to the Resort often. It was evident by the packed parking lot that something big was going on. By moseying around and asking a few people, we found out that the US Alpine & Freestyle Snowboarding Tour was holding try-outs there. This was pretty excited, so we decided to stick around even though all of the runs were closed to the public. Becky found a list of rules and applicants somewhere, which we took turns perusing.
“Hey, Alex! Look!” It was Avery.
“What?” I asked, glancing away from one of the competitor who was doing a Pretzel off of a rail.
“They've got you in here!” He was looking at the program.
That got all of our attention.
“Where?!”
“Let me see!”
“Ha, ha, very funny Avery,” Erin said, snatching the list away from him. “He's right,” she said giggling, and handed it to me.
I searched the names, trying to see the joke. About three-quarters of the way down the list the name Alec Trovenn stood out. It was so close to mine name, Alex Trov, I had to take a double-look. “Wow, cool,” I said and shoved it back into Avery's hands.
“You should go up there and say you're him!” Jerome gave a hoot of laughter, reading the program over Avery's shoulder.
We all burst into a fit of laughter.
“You could totally do it, Alex,” Erin said, mischief written all over her face.
“Yeah! I'll bet you could take these guys any day!” Troy said, bunching me in the arm.
“Totally,” we all agreed.
And that had been it. We had quickly gone on to joke about something else, forgetting the Alec on the list. Until it was his turn however. Shortly before he was to ride, there was some sort of commotion making its way through the spectators. Curious, we heard murmurs and rumors about someone not showing up. As someone official looking talked to the group beside us, we overheard part of the conversation, which cleared the whole situation up and made it all the more confusing at the same time.
“Open door, dude,” Jerome said, smiling at me.
“I don't know,” I shrugged.
“Oh, come on!” Becky pushed, “He's not here – he'll never know.”
“I probably don't look a thing like him!” I protested, still thinking it a great joke.
Just then, our neighbors began discussing Alec's looks.
“Perfect,” Avery laughed.
It was perfect. I too had brown hair, was medium height, and even though I was 17 not 18, I figured I could pass as older. I looked the part too. I was what my friends called an “accessory man” which means that I have about all of the possible snowboarding accessories and gadgets there are. Matching Burton board, helmet, boots, leash, coat, snow-pants, cap, and goggles made me look like I went with the rest of the competitors. It all fit so well.
“Do it!” Erin said, shaking me. “Alex!” she hissed, “Too much fun!”
And I decided.
As I moved away, I glanced back at my buddies. Troy was elbowing Avery, who was red-faced with laugher. Jerome gave a thumbs-up. Erin winked.
And so it was a simple joke – or so we thought. I did well, considering that the competition focused more on the Freestyle than the Alpine and that I knew the run like the back of my hand, and ended up making the Tour. We should have just stopped there, declined, but we were having too much fun. I convinced my parents that I was going on a snowboarding trip with Jerome, Avery, Troy, and our PE coach's assistant (aka Avery's older brother who was in his twenties). Becky and Erin were to stay home (much to their disappointment) and do all of the “background” work.
Over the last few weeks everything had gone way too far. It was soon clear that, if I was to be Alec Trovenn, I had to know his background.. Erin and Becky hacked into his personal information and relayed it to us. They even made a fake birth certificate, social security card, and inserted me into his spot in a family photo.
I'd had growing uneasiness as the Tour drew to a close and I was still in (don't know how I managed that, but I had), but it didn't really hit me until that moment on top of the slopes in Chicago – the last stop of the tour – when Josh disappeared over the edge.
“You're up next, Alec!” Jerome, one of my “team”, said excitedly.
“Okay Alec,” Troy came up to me, “You're turn.”
Again I nodded and thought about what stupid, immature teenagers we were.
“You okay?” Troy asked, seeing my pale face.
“Yeah, he's fine,” Jerome laughed, slapping me on the back. “Dude, I am STOKED!”
I checked my bindings one last time and peeked over the edge of the cliff and tried not to be sick. I'd never ridden down anything like this. I was a freestyle boarder who could do a little alpine. I knew what this run was going to be. Carving hard, avalanches, and a LOT of air.
Again the countdown began. 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1! The bell dinged. Jerome, Troy, Avery, and his brother cheered. I knew Erin and Becky were cheering below (they had somehow managed to make the trip out for the finals). And I just hoped that I would see them all again, even if I had to be in handcuffs, as I shot out of the gate. It had all gone way too far.
Mod
**ENTRIES ARE DUE BY 12:00 MIDNIGHT TONIGHT**
Mod
I liked your story! Cool idea! Is she really "programed". Wow.
I will be judging the entries and post the winners sometime tomorrow.
Tinkword limit: good
grammar/spelling: 10 mistakes
fitting theme (1-10): 8
text (1-10): 5
techniques (1-10): 5
I would like to have seen more detail in this story. You need help with paragraphing and sentencing. They were both too short. I liked the premise. It just needs some tweeking here and there. Paragraphs and sentences are the main problem. I liked the actual story very much.
Elaine
word limit: good
grammar/spelling: 14 mistakes
fitting the theme (1-10): 10
text (1-10): 7
techniques: 8
I would have liked a little more detail, but I know you had to chop a lot off of it for word limit's sake. The story line was very good. It kept me wanting for more.
Paige:
word limit: good
grammar/spelling: 20 mistakes
fitting the theme (1-10): 9
text (1-10): 7
techniques (1-10): 4
This story is really cool. I loved the names of the pictures she has been in. Very original. Your detail was pretty good, but I kept wanting more. The ending just left me hanging. I didn't know what happened or what it was about.
**AND THE WINNER IS**
Elaine Congratulations, Elaine!
Congratulations to all for very good, original stories.
YAY Elaine! Good work! Do you want to judge????
Mod
I know Paige, one of the most fun parts of these contests is seeing how everybody did something totally different with the topic! =)
Wow. All of you guys are great authors.
Mod
Yes, I will send you the mistakes I found. It will be at least tomorrow.
Contest Ends: Thursday, May 28th, 2009
Theme: Faking It
Minimum Words: 600
Maximum Words: 1200
Judge: Camerandi
Judged on: Fitting the theme, grammar/spelling