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The Complaint Department > People You NEVER Want to Meet in Heaven (Or Anywhere Else, For That Matter...)

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message 1: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
I'm currently reading and enjoying Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus by Humour Club's own, Allison Hawn. One of her essays concerns people who annoy "both the living and nonliving daylights" out of her.

What type of people bug the crap out of you?


message 2: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
Ms. Hawn refers to them as "Personal Soap-Operas", a term I now prefer to "Downer Debbies," as I've been calling these ladies.

These are women to whom nothing good EVER happens, and there are THREE of them in the neighborhood book club - THREE very good reasons why I am no longer a member of the neighborhood book club.

Exhibit A - talks exclusively about her endometriosis and her brother who used to be her sister. She once went into all the VERY GRAPHIC details of the operations (hers and her sibling's), even though the oldest club member was starting to turn green.

Exhibit B - is always bemoaning the fact that she can't find yet another guy to sucker into marrying her. I certainly can't figure it out. She enjoys discussing her "Holocaust-studies" hobby at great length, and what guy DOESN'T like to talk about that?

Exhibit C - is unmarried and has both Celiac disease AND Crohn's disease, but surprisingly - doesn't complain about any of that. Her big problem is MONEY. She works two jobs and still doesn't have enough cash to make ends meet. (The fact that her curbside recycle bin ALWAYS contains at least seven empty wine bottles per week can't possibly have ANYTHING to do with that!)

I do feel badly for these women, but JEEZ! Can't they ever find ANYTHING pleasant to talk about? The weather, perhaps? (Hope I don't come off sounding mean or whiny. I don't want anyone complaining about me...)


message 3: by Guy (new)

Guy Portman (guyportman) | 349 comments Just be grateful you don't have to meet them in the flesh Melki. I feel sorry for the three exhibits poor family members, who must be wishing by now that their sister/ex-brother/aunt Exhibit's ailment/s finish them off soon. They sound like characters out of a Palahniuk book.


message 4: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
Hmmmm...I never considered them as literary fodder before. Put them all together in the same family and you might have fictional gold.


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

They sound to me like potential corpses in a murder mystery.


message 6: by Zack (new)

Zack | 35 comments sounds like an episode of sex in the city after they turn into the golden girls.


message 7: by Zack (new)

Zack | 35 comments I can't stand people who park in handicapped spaces that are in no way handicapped. I understand if it's at Disney World or something, but if you get out of the car and do a cartwheel into a back-flip while running into the supermarket to get out of the rain, leave the handicapped sticker at home.


message 8: by Zack (new)

Zack | 35 comments also, people who have read (or logged) zero books on Goodreads, yet have 843 friends .....question mark?


message 9: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
Yeah, there seem to be many of them around. Makes me wonder, too...


message 10: by Guy (new)

Guy Portman (guyportman) | 349 comments Zack wrote: "I can't stand people who park in handicapped spaces that are in no way handicapped. I understand if it's at Disney World or something, but if you get out of the car and do a cartwheel into a back-..."

I've come across a few of those!


message 11: by Guy (new)

Guy Portman (guyportman) | 349 comments Zack wrote: "also, people who have read (or logged) zero books on Goodreads, yet have 843 friends .....question mark?"

With that many friends they probably haven't got any time for reading.


message 12: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2422 comments Mod
Guy wrote: "Zack wrote: "also, people who have read (or logged) zero books on Goodreads, yet have 843 friends .....question mark?"

With that many friends they probably haven't got any time for reading."


LOL!

I'm getting pretty fed up with the ones who join groups just to advertise their book.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

I don't think I would want 843 friends. What if they all came to tea at once? Bilbo Baggins had enough trouble with 13 dwarves and a wizard.


message 14: by Sam (new)

Sam (ecowitch) | 154 comments There's someone in my office like that for whom life is so very very hard and money so very very tight (despite her being paid significantly more than me and yet I manage just fine...). Some days she only needs to be in the office for you to feel the life being sucked out of you. Not ideal in a small company but great fun to mess with (not that I would of course...) ;-)


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

Sam wrote: she only needs to be in the office for you to feel the life being sucked out of you

Sounds like she's a Dementor...


message 16: by Mathew (new)

Mathew Smith | 686 comments The Director of Operations where I work, now that is someone whom I wouldn't want to meet anywhere...ever. Especially in the afterlife.
She is the type of person who makes it seem that your life if pitiful. That anything you do just doesn't make sense to her.
Eg. One time a temporary 'supervisor' position came up and she emailed everyone inviting us to all consider taking the job. I knocked on her door and said, sure I'll consider the job. She looked at me like I was crazy and laughed. Then asked why I would want that job.
The other day I came back from a parental leave. She came by my desk to say welcome back. She asked what I did on my 'time off'. I said, looked after the kids, the new baby, etc. She did her face again (you're crazy) and she said she didn't believe me, I was probably off writing or something. When I said no, she asked why I would be off helping with the kids at home? Then she told me my desk looked messy.
Ouch.


message 17: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2422 comments Mod
Geez, Bookworm. What great management skills she has! Sounds a lot like the reason I've put my job at the library on ice.


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

God, am I glad I'm retired.


message 19: by Melki (last edited Sep 10, 2013 02:56AM) (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
Maybe we need a thread just for bosses.

My husband's boss is seriously deranged. Once, in front of two witnesses, she handed him a catalogue and told him to order himself a new chair. He did, it arrived, and his boss showed up as he was unwrapping it. She threw a hissy and asked WHY he ordered a new chair when she was going to give him one from an empty office upstairs!

He keeps a voodoo doll of her in his desk.


message 20: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2422 comments Mod
LOL, Melki!

I think, this being a public thread, maybe we'd best not say too much about our bosses, except maybe some of the ones long past.

There was the poor guy who had both me and my Mom working for him one summer. He was sorta humor-impaired, and it was very hard on him, poor fellow. . .


message 21: by Ann (last edited Sep 11, 2013 03:50PM) (new)

Ann Stawski | 1 comments My friend's husband mispronounces her name. I can't decide if I'm more annoyed at him for not realizing/fixing it or at her for not correcting him years ago when they met. Now he and his whole family say it wrong. She did tell him once - in front of a group of us - that he was saying it wrong, but it doesn't appear to have made a difference.


message 22: by Zack (new)

Zack | 35 comments People who write their Goodreads author profile in the third person.


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

Yes, all those dead authors do that. So affected.


message 24: by Mathew (new)

Mathew Smith | 686 comments Like not when people speak as Yoda does.


message 25: by Preston (new)

Preston Randall | 15 comments Zack wrote: "People who write their Goodreads author profile in the third person."

Preston hates that too.


message 26: by Reed (new)

Reed Bosgoed (ReedBosgoed) | 2 comments The cast of jersey shore.


message 27: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
At least Snooki, the author, doesn't refer to herself in the third person - http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/...


message 28: by Preston (last edited Sep 17, 2013 09:00AM) (new)

Preston Randall | 15 comments Ann wrote: "My friend's husband mispronounces her name. I can't decide if I'm more annoyed at him for not realizing/fixing it or at her for not correcting him years ago when they met. Now he and his whole fam..."

Please, you can't keep us hanging like that. What's her name and how could he possibly let it continue? Enquiring minds are racing with the exotic possibilities: Zsa Zsa perhaps, Antoinette, Kayleesha . . .


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

... Birgitta, Rihanna, Siobhan, Niamh, Aoife...


message 30: by [deleted user] (last edited Sep 17, 2013 10:49AM) (new)

... we're assuming it's her first name he's mispronouncing. Maybe it's her last name. Which of course would mean that he was mispronouncing his own surname. Unlikely, but not impossible...


message 31: by Preston (new)

Preston Randall | 15 comments ... Smythe, Stephensen, Tomato ...


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

Tomato?


message 33: by Preston (new)

Preston Randall | 15 comments You say toe-ma-toe, I say toe-may-toe


message 34: by [deleted user] (last edited Sep 18, 2013 12:42AM) (new)

Actually I say tuh-ma-toe.


message 35: by Preston (new)

Preston Randall | 15 comments Point taken. So Joey Tomatoes could be pronounced 3 different ways (or more)...


message 36: by [deleted user] (last edited Sep 18, 2013 12:11PM) (new)

I think Joey actually pronounces his name to rhyme with 'comatose.'

Incidentally, please all note my change of moniker. Sorry about this, but for various reasons I am trying very hard to keep my profile as low as possible.


message 37: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
You are but a shadow of your former self.


message 38: by Mathew (new)

Mathew Smith | 686 comments The other day my kid was trying to jump on his shadow...eventually it got dark and he gave up.


message 39: by [deleted user] (new)

When it goes dark, that's your shadow getting all its mates to jump back at you...


message 40: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3518 comments Mod
Sounds like you should be writing stories to read to small children right before bed.


message 41: by [deleted user] (new)

'And then Father Christmas comes down the chimney when you're asleep, and stuffs you in his sack...'


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