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message 201:
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[deleted user]
(new)
Mar 10, 2016 04:55PM
Wow this is an intense thread ;)
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I'm trying my best not to either cry or punch something and it's not going very well.
Do... you need a hug?
Heh I dunno I just need something to punch and at the same time cry.
![Cheshire Cat [Heidi]~ We're All Mad Here ~ | 2792 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1454696753p1/40221410.jpg)
What happened?
I just need to get this out.UGH! So, my friend recently came out to me saying she was homosexual, and that she likes me. Next thing I knew she asked me out and asked me to be her girlfriend. I gently declined saying that I'm not interested and that I am asexual. WELP! Now she won't stop flirting with me and teasing me! And, she won't stop pestering me to be her girlfriend! I keep trying to tell her I'm not interested, and reminding her of my sexuality. But, she keeps ignoring that and won't respect how I feel!! I'm sick of it. She is not been trying to get me to blush for 4 days in a row. She gets mad each time I don't. But, Griffin! I told you, IM NOT INTERESTED AND SHE WON'T LISTEN! SO NOW, IM TICKED OFF!! She just won't stop no matter what I do and what I tell her!
Thanks.. I might try that.
Um... Asexual means you don't like anyone, right?
Yes. It also means where I don't really have any sexual interest.But, if you want more info on it, searching what it is would be good to.
Alright. Because, in science, we learned that asexual meant that they were able to reproduce by itself, and it was usually plants and other stuff like that, but then I started hearing it used as a sexuality, so I got kind of confused. XD
Yeah. It can be confusing.
Yup XD
Cheshire Cat [Heidi]~ We're All Mad Here ~ wrote: "Alright. Because, in science, we learned that asexual meant that they were able to reproduce by itself, and it was usually plants and other stuff like that, but then I started hearing it used as a ..."That was be before I started to show signs of being a female, I didn't want nothing to do with guys or girls I wanted to be like a type of lizard that is all female cuz they can reproduce without them.
Yeah, and then you went and got a BOYFRIEND!
Mod
Jacqueline (Granddaughter of Apollo and Hades)(Goddess of Misunderstood Sarcasm)(Temporary semi-hiatus?) wrote: "Wait, what? Someone has a boyfriend?"Maybe.... HEIDI.....
Um, I'm having a mental panic attack right now. There is a field trip I have today that is high ropes course. I'm terribly afraid of heights.
You didn't do much to hide it, Shai!Don't look down, Shadow! Doonnn'tttt loooookkkk doooooowwwwnnn!
Mod
I hope your trip worked out alright. :/
So.. I'm pretty sure I've made an enemy. There's this boy in Theater Club. I really don't know what I did, but he lashed out at me random behind stage. (I was in my turtle costume) Grabbed my shell and started shaking me. 2 other actors were trying to get him off me, but couldn't. I tried pulling away but he'd jerk me right back, repeating "psychopathic b*tch! You're a psychopathic b*tch!" I really don't know what I did to set him off.. Finally a Crew member was able to get him off. But when we were on stage, since we stand in the back, he tried to get at me again. I've made myself an enemy.. and I don't know how it happened. (Kind of like Max and Blake..) I don't really know what to do...
Awwww Muffin, lemmie at him IMA SHANK HIM
Heh, I'm not sure if Drama would be happy that their head guard actor got hurt. But thanks. Just still confused why he attacked me. A turtle nonetheless.
That's why I'ma shank him, not kill just shank, turtles are harmless!
And I'm just a harmless fangirl turtle. Hmm.. Yeah I give you permission. I still wish when I turned around, I had kicked him in the nuts. Or something..
Yeah. But there was to many witnesses, and we had to get on stage since we were almost late for the scene.
I wonder how much of this from, like, three years ago has changed. I need to rant for a second here:
So, has anyone every had the feeling of when they finish a good book/series and they just don't know what to do with their life? Well, I'm in that funk right now. IDK what to do with my time. I finish book WAY too fast. I finished Catching Fire (2nd book in Hunger Games, for those who don't know) in 4 hours.
Yet another rant:
Today marks one year since my cousin committed suicide. She was not mentally healthy, she had been taking so much Perscriptions for her different junk, and she got hooked. We were super close, we were the same age. The whole time since I had figured out she was gone,and in the most gruesome way, through all of the next week, I bawled and bawled. It never really sunk in, ya know? Nobody in my family was as close to her as I was, so none of them understand. So, here I am, reaching out to online people who I will most likely never meet in real life.
I am done with my rant. Thank you for listening.
Crazed-Book-Fanatic wrote: "I wonder how much of this from, like, three years ago has changed. I need to rant for a second here:
So, has anyone every had the feeling of when they finish a good book/series and they ..."
Hi. I know how it is to lose a very good friend. It feels like it was all for nothing and all your jokes and talks are just gone. No other word can fit. Just know that you're not expected to replace her as that is not possible. Know that she would not like you crying and that you need to not get pain from her memories but happiness that it happened. Don't cry that you lost it but be content that you got it. I understand it isn't as easy as typing words but it needs to happen over time.
Wish you joy.
Thank you @bookishsereindipity (IDK if I spelled that right) Your advice and wishes of joy are much appreciated. You sound like an amazing person. ^_^ <3
Crazed-Book-Fanatic wrote: "Thank you @bookishsereindipity (IDK if I spelled that right) Your advice and wishes of joy are much appreciated. You sound like an amazing person. ^_^ <3"Thank you and anytime
So, My mum is thinking about getting married. She says they love each other, but haven't dated for years. I'm not comfortable around him, and never really have been around men because of past. My mum yells at me telling me its my fault she'll stay single, but it seems like when I try to tell her how I feel, she doesn't care. She tells me to get over it, when I fear to ever trust someone. He treats me to much like a toddler, and I'm not comfortable. I don't know what to do.. But.. I want her to be happy.. But.. I don't think I can handle this. I probably sound like a spoiled brat.. I just don't know..
Muffin ~Im Not Useless~ wrote: "So, My mum is thinking about getting married. She says they love each other, but haven't dated for years. I'm not comfortable around him, and never really have been around men because of past. My m..."You most definitely do not sound like a spoiled brat. You need to remember that your mother loves you but it's most likely that she has too much pressure on her. One day, when she's in a better mood, go and make her sit with you, make her listen . Tell her that it isn't your fault and that you just have an opinion, nothing more and nothing less. Tell her that she should make sure that she loves him before making a decision that can drive all your lives to a whole new route. Also, ask her to talk to you, too. You need your mother on your side and it's good for both of you like that. If you talk and feel better- lighter, then your mom will defend you if he treats you like a baby or anything else that you dislike. You also need to see this from your mom's perspective and see what she's going through as nobody acts without reason.
Good luck!
Thanks...
My mom thinks I'm gay. Gosh.. That's a way to start a rant.
Literally when anything LGBT+ is mentioned, she tells me its a sin. God doesn't like that. Its bad. And multiple times she hinted, questioning me of my sexuality. Like.. Mom. Stop.
I'm sick and tired of her crap. I love the LGBT+ community. I support it! My mom loves the people, but hates the LGBT+, like sexuality and that its a 'sin.'
My sister's friends are mostly gays, lesbians and bisexuals. My mum loves my sister's friends, but knows its a sin. Or whatever.
She also hates transsexuals. Literally, she hates those people.
She makes fun of them and crap. If I try to talk about it, she yells at me.
Now I'm scared to ever come out. Like.. will she still love me? Will she disown me? Will she hate me to find out that her daughter Is not straight. To find out for years (and still do) wishes to be a boy? That I call myself genderqueer? Am I a sin? Am I going to hell? Will no one love me? Will I be alone forever? Will I be excluded from everything?
Will I be.. forgotten?
I hate myself. And I don't wish to ever come out. But I think my mum is onto me. For 2 years, she's been doing that. Dropping hints to ask if I'm gay. to change me if I am. To tell me all this is a sin. I don't really like girls. That I'm straight. That God doesn't like it. Will God hate me? Will God never love me? When I die.. will I go to hell or heaven?
I want to wait to come out until I have moved out. But.. she's onto me. I just don't know anymore..
Rant over.
Mod
Gosh.. That's a way to start a rant.
Literally when anything LGBT+ is mentioned, she tells me its a sin. God doesn't like that. Its bad. And multiple times she hinted, ques..."
Aw, Muffin, I'm so sorry. I partially know how you feel, being a closeted bisexual to everyone expect two of my best friends, but then none of my family is religious, so I don't have that issue. But I'm still really sorry. If you ever need to talk, I'm here yeah?
Thank you. That means a lot, to have someone to talk to.Only one of my best friend's know. As.. I found out my sexuality when I got a crush on her. It was the 3rd or 4th time I got a crush on a girl.. And I realized, I'm not straight.
And about your questions on God, I'm pretty sure he'll still love you. I'm actually from India where even the word 'gay' is a taboo. So I understand that and I want to say that you didn't do anything. God made you like that and there's nothing wrong with being different- in thinking, feeling, knowing, looking or even loving. Will you be forgotten? Will you go to heaven or hell? That depends on you. Do something good the world will remember and earn their respect. Don't let being gay bother you as it is just as much a part of you as your personality. Just go out there and own it. My best friend died because of all the stress of this. Don't do that to yourself.
Thanks.. All this support really means a lot to me.
Mod
I recently came out to my friend because he kept hitting on me. I didn't want him flirting if he didn't know the real me. That I'm gender-queer. Well.. Now he wont talk to me at all. And I hate myself.. Again. I ask myself 'Do I really want that? is this really me?' but then I remember, I've wanted this for YEARS! I've even wanted a gender-change.. but my mum is transphobic as HECK. So.. I just live with this guilt.. this hate for myself. This pain and fear. But this is me. This is what I want.. Then.. why do I hate everything of it? I AM GENDER-QUEER! I WANT THIS GENDER-CHANGE... But.. I'm scared. Scared of what everyone will think.. This is who I am.I don't know why I'm crying.. I just want to be loved for who I am. I just want to be accepted. But when I finally become happy with who I am, anxiety and everything takes over. Making me think this shit.. I am gender-queer. This is what I want. I just don't want to be hated or forgotten.. But I'm happy. But at the same time.. hate myself.
MUFFIN IM SO SORRY!! It's okay! If I could I'd give you the biggest hug I could! I know how hard having it is with my dad being homophobic but I really want to come out and say Hey I'm bi take me or leave me! And oh Muffin I just want to hug you! No matter who you want to be I'm always a pm away!
Thank you... it means a lot. I just really needed to get that off my chest.. I've made so many friends on here.. And just wanted to add, that y'all are like my internet family. And.. It just means A LOT to me.Also, I'll take an internet hug..
Good because I give Interwebs hugs! *hugs hard* YOU ARE A POWERFUL MUFFIN GOD SO ... smile!
Heh.. *takes hug and squeaks* Merci. Talking it out makes me feel better.. And hugs.
Why am I always using the Rant Chat a lot?Sheesh...
It feels so nice when my friends ignore me. I message them, and it says the read it but they never respond. Makes me wonder if they hate me.. If my worthless? And I'm really worthy of having friends? Having a life?
Sometimes it nice to sit in my own thoughts. Listening to my mind and talk to myself. Makes me realize how my mind works.. Hello darkness my old friend..
I don't get it..
Small Rant Over.
Hahaha you know what's great? Being up till 2:21 am because your mind has some much going on and honestly your hungry but don't want to move. Yeah. I could go for a bag of chips or a bowl of Fruity Pebbles or maybe even a pencil so in can draw...
Lol maybe idk I just want food XD like I already went through my stash and I need to restock that and I really want to sleep but me brain won't let me.
Eh I guess more random than anything :P
