I Read Therefore I Am discussion
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"The time has come" the Walrus said, "to talk of many things..."


I hate DIY it always ends in tears

Whenever we attempt DIY in our house it always leads to swearing and tears. The last thing we tried to do was replace a tap - my husband ended up having to saw the original in half in order to remove it!
Hello folks, how is everyone? I haven't been around so much due to stupid long split shifts but I'm not in till 5 today so making a batch of St Clements marmalade and the whole house smells citrusy - yum!
Sounds delicious - I'm feeling pleasantly Thursdayish at the moment - lunch time has just begun so I'm doing some one handed typing while eating a rather tasty sandwich. Poor you with the split shifts - my brother is a mental health nurse and he does all sorts of weird shifts - sometimes he doesn't know whether he's coming or going.
Just beginning to start thinking vaguely about Christmas presents etc.
Just beginning to start thinking vaguely about Christmas presents etc.
Yeah me too, but still very vague, I quite often don't realise how soon it is until it's right on top of us and then go into panic mode! Try to be organised but am very easily distracted.
Citrus always reminds me of Christmas - that and brown sugar and mixed spice are all guaranteed to make me want to put the tree up and start singing carols! So am very happy now that I have 5 jars of orange and lemon marmalade and a house that smells delish!
Mmmmm - cinnamon is the smell of Christmas for me - and the taste is Mince Pies

Yes, I hope we all enjoy a weekend as relaxing or exciting as we would wish.
For some unaccountable reason I've got the blues today - I thought I'd share the 2 following cheering things I've just found with you all.
Ten Ways to Avoid Lending Your Wheelbarrow to Anybody
1 PATRIOTIC
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I didn't lay down my life in World War II
so that you could borrow my wheelbarrow.
2 SNOBBISH
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Unfortunately Lord Goodman is using it.
3 OVERWEENING
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
It is too mighty a conveyance to be wielded
by any mortal save myself.
4 PIOUS
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
My wheelbarrow is reserved for religious ceremonies.
5 MELODRAMATIC
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I would sooner be broken on its wheel
and buried in its barrow.
6 PATHETIC
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I am dying of schizophrenia
and all you can talk about is wheelbarrows.
7 DEFENSIVE
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Do you think I'm made of wheelbarrows?
8 SINISTER
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
It is full of blood.
9 LECHEROUS
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Only if I can fuck your wife in it.
10 PHILOSOPHICAL
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
What is a wheelbarrow?
-- Adrian Mitchell
This is apparently a parody of Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird - by Wallace Stevens - but the original is a bit beyond me at the current stage of my poetic journey.
And here is a marvellous performance by Heatwave - I defy you not to smile at the costumes and dancing - I particularly like the man in the turban http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ob9sDpmR...
There I feel better already :0)
Ten Ways to Avoid Lending Your Wheelbarrow to Anybody
1 PATRIOTIC
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I didn't lay down my life in World War II
so that you could borrow my wheelbarrow.
2 SNOBBISH
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Unfortunately Lord Goodman is using it.
3 OVERWEENING
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
It is too mighty a conveyance to be wielded
by any mortal save myself.
4 PIOUS
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
My wheelbarrow is reserved for religious ceremonies.
5 MELODRAMATIC
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I would sooner be broken on its wheel
and buried in its barrow.
6 PATHETIC
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
I am dying of schizophrenia
and all you can talk about is wheelbarrows.
7 DEFENSIVE
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Do you think I'm made of wheelbarrows?
8 SINISTER
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
It is full of blood.
9 LECHEROUS
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
Only if I can fuck your wife in it.
10 PHILOSOPHICAL
May I borrow your wheelbarrow?
What is a wheelbarrow?
-- Adrian Mitchell
This is apparently a parody of Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird - by Wallace Stevens - but the original is a bit beyond me at the current stage of my poetic journey.
And here is a marvellous performance by Heatwave - I defy you not to smile at the costumes and dancing - I particularly like the man in the turban http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ob9sDpmR...
There I feel better already :0)


It really doesn't suit the keyboard player!

Discovered just now that it was switched to 'silent'.........


You poor thing Hilary - like Ellie suggests ,dose yourself up and hopefully you'll achieve that floaty, headful of cotton wool, state.
Hope you feel better soon.
@ Ellie - I just tried to turn the page of a real book like you would on a kindle!!!
Hope you feel better soon.
@ Ellie - I just tried to turn the page of a real book like you would on a kindle!!!

I was reading a paperback ...
Modern technology has addled our brains.

Wasn't Grand Designs good? A very courageous lady - love the house too.


Ellie wrote: "@Lee - Yesterday I attempted to discover the meaning of a word by touching it.
I was reading a paperback ..."
I am soooo glad you two posted those comments - I found myself doing the exact same thing the other day.... thought I was losing the plot!
I was reading a paperback ..."
I am soooo glad you two posted those comments - I found myself doing the exact same thing the other day.... thought I was losing the plot!
I'm having a lovely, lazy weekend. Buying Christmas presents (over the Internet) and the occasional book pour moi, and watching daft films such as Mysterious Island in which a group of American Civil War soldiers (one of whom sporting the worst southern accent I've ever heard - it would have been less distracting if they'd got Sean Connery to do it) escape prison via a hot air balloon to land on an Island where they are periodically menaced by giant crabs and chickens ( which they kill and eat) and are joined by 2 lovely shipwrecked ladies. Later pirates then Captain Nemo turn up and just when you think it couldn't get any more exciting - the volcano erupts!
Glad you had a good time at the concert Hilary - are you feeling better now?
Hope you're enjoying a well earned break Ellie, And Laurel - have you got a day off at last?
Glad you had a good time at the concert Hilary - are you feeling better now?
Hope you're enjoying a well earned break Ellie, And Laurel - have you got a day off at last?

Glad you're feeling better Hilary, and that sounds like fun Lee. I'm still at work today (12-9) and had a busy, long shift yesterday (I'd not been in long when I posted my last comment) - I am off tomorrow though so will be doing some serious sleeping and catching up on my reading and might make some chocolate truffles ;)
Well have a lovely relaxing Monday and enjoy those chocolate truffles. Mmmmmmmm!

I did an early morning Samaritans shift and am now wondering what to do with myself. Go for a walk, go to Slimbridge, or just be really lazy!
Well, I've had a great time mucking about in the kitchen - made two kinds of truffles (one lot with cinnamon and chilli in them and another lot flavoured with earl grey tea) and three types of fudge - maple pecan, coffee and almond, and because I couldn't find any cherry brandy in Tesco's - cherry sourz fudge! Needless to say, I'm gonna have to get back to the gym ;)
Hope you've all had a nice Monday!
Hope you've all had a nice Monday!
Sounds absolutely delicious - very hungry now :0)

Poor old Thomas Pynchon - I hope he's coping with all the negative vibes shooting at him from I Read Therefore I Am :0)
Sorry wrong thread - should have been in the Journal of Sir Walter Scott!
(I haven't been drinking - honest)
(I haven't been drinking - honest)
Books mentioned in this topic
The Color of Magic (other topics)Design Down Under (other topics)
The Diary of a Nobody (other topics)
The Dumas Club (other topics)
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Bill Bryson (other topics)Terry Pratchett (other topics)
Peter Lovesey (other topics)
Joy, I really sympathise, my dog is 9 months now so well past the worst, but boy do they take up your time.