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Johanna's Hobbit-hole of Incompetent Scribblings, Whimsicalities, and other Oddities
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I cannot wait to see your stuff!!
"Whimsicalities":D Wish I'd thought of that...:)
:D Be warned that they're very incompetent, as the title implies :P I'm not a doesn't-accept-compliments person like you and Ethan, but it's true:)It did sound like a very Elevetha-ish word at the time.
Aw, now that's just mean:) Fine. I shall work on it.:D
Alexis wrote: XD I don't believe the incompetent part, but . . . XD I should have known your place would be a hobbit-hole. How many pantries and cellars do you have in here?Plenty:D
Well. August? I haven't posted here since August? I'm a terrible person. I've been busy plotting my novel-in-progress. Currently nicknamed "Rolan", (Casper & Roy's surname) but that's only working title. As are the names of places/characters/objects, and practically everything else.
Anyway . . . this is a sort of very bad, unedited (ish) snippet that I wrote the other night. Yes, I started in the middle, so yes, it's probably completely comprehensible. *cringe* Constructive criticism welcomed, non-constructive criticism politely ignored.
So yeah. Go ahead and read.
"That's a big scar."
Casper stiffened, but didn't turn. "How do you know I have a scar?"
"I saw it. Last night." I snapped a twig between his fingers and tossed it onto the path. "Where'd you get it?"
"That's classified."
My temper flared. "Really? Like the fact that you murdered my parents?"
Casper snapped his head round, and I flinched as I saw the pistol in his hands. He relaxed his grip when he saw that I was unarmed, and I saw a flicker of guilt cross his face. So it was true.
"How did you do it?" I asked coldly. My dagger was in the pocket of my jacket. I glanced at it, judging the distance. If only I could reach it.
Casper let go of the gun, but didn't meet my gaze. "It wasn't me."
"So you admit it, then? That you were in league with them?" I almost wished he hadn't dropped the gun. It would have been an excuse to make a reach for the dagger I could see glinting half a metre away. "You were my brother, Casper," my voice shook. "Why?"
"I told you it wasn't me! You think I have control over what they do?" His face was flushed, as if he was having trouble keeping his emotions in check. He closed his eyes for a moment and made a visible effort to calm himself. I felt a tug of pity, which I shook off. Casper -- Always the unmovable rock, until something broke him. "Roy--"
"They're dead, Casper. Dead." My voice was flat even to me. "You could have stopped them."
"I didn't know!"
I looked at him disgustedly, and he continued, as if to explain himself.
"I didn't know what they were planning. I didn't know they were going to . . ." he trailed off. "They never told me."
"They told you enough," I said, glaring. "They told you where it was to take place, didn't they? Or were you at the farm simply to visit the brother you abandoned for for years?" I sneered at him. "Your timing is impeccable."
He bowed his head slightly, and then looked up, his eyes bright. "If I had known, I would have stopped them," he said.
"And that makes it okay?" I shook my head and closed my eyes, images -- memories -- swimming through my vision. The gun shot. The panic as I realised what it meant. Casper, pulling me away. My voice, screaming at him. I took a deep breath and looked him in the face. "One straight answer, Casper, that is all I ask. You were at the farm in time to get me away before . . . the shots were fired. Why? Why were you there? What was your mission?"
He hesitated, and then met my gaze, his voice unreadable. "To kill you."
Sooo. Yeah.
Whaddya think? (No judgies:P)
Eeep!!! It looks really good, Jo! I noticed a few punctuation errors but I'm not sure if you want me to point them out, espescially as you did say you hadn't edited it...Anyways, until I have more, I can't really comment on the story/plot becauae it looks good from where I'm standing. And that Knightley gif is perfection.
Also, I should post something on my thread, shouldn't I? Bugger.
Thanks!! *beaming* Oh, right. xD No, no -- I mean, yeah, they probably will be taken out in the edit, but then, it'd be best for me to know what sort of errors I commonly make, so that I can avoid them in later writing, right? xD I'd be interested to note what you found, in any case. :) Knightley gifs are always perfection. KNIGHTLEY. Eheh.
Thanks for your comment! ^_^ Yes, you should. Very much so.
Johanna ღ♣✽Hobbit & Proud✽♣ღ wrote: "Well. August? I haven't posted here since August? I'm a terrible person. I've been busy plotting my novel-in-progress. Currently nicknamed "Rolan", (Casper & Roy's surname) but that's only working..."
Jolly good writing, I declare!
(Just...while we're on the general Georgian subject I wanted to do my piece and talk a la Regency...yeah.)
I can't say I like the whole-whot-people-are-knocked-off before the story begins type thing but it looks good!
So, all I can say is that so far it's pretty darn fine; there are some little details(I am obsessed with little details...) that might be added and perhaps contribute to the flow of things - or make it convoluted that is - although there's not much I can say! Really good, Jo, indeed :D.
Wow, Jo; I really liked it! It is very engaging and has thrilling flair that has me wanting more!
And to join in as I must(not to seem antisocial :P): You are welcome!
I loved it! It was really great. I haven't seen alot of people that write in first person POV like I do. I honesty have a hard time writing in any other POV. :)
:') Hey, thanks, Elizabeth! I find third POV hard, too o_O I was planning on writing this novel in third, but I seem to write more naturally in first . . . and in all honesty, my characters are far too demanding, and want their own POV anyway. I'm glad you liked it! :D
so... you planning on posting anything else of this story soon, or.....
Yeah I know what you mean. I always feel like I need to think about it to much when I try to write in 3rd POV. I honestly tried to write in 3rd POV but it ends up half in 3rd POV and half in 1st POV. xD ~Your welcome :D
I do too much telling in 3rd. I find it easier to show in 1st POV. @Ethan: Hopefully . . . when I have some! At the moment I'm still plotting . . . and stuff. I'll let you know when I've done some more.
Ethan wrote: "kay kay."*spews with laughter* OH MY GOD, ETHAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
"Kay kay" is a big phrase in my family. XD It was all because my brother told us about a friend of his at college who poured his heart out in a text message to his girlfriend, and all she responded with was "kk." That made my mom and I laugh, and now we use it for everything.
And this is completely unrelated, but you reminded me of it, so thanks!
So far, sadly, a little empty, but that shall hopefully be fixed in the not-so-far future, as soon as I get my nerve up to actually post something online without freaking out.
Meanwhile, I'm sure I don't have to put this here, but I just want to say that any writing that I post here with my name on it is, in fact, as the name implies, mine, and I would rather it stayed that way:P
In other words, please do not steal or use any original ideas from this thread, as who knows . . . maybe it will end up in a book one day:)
Anyway! Without further ado, Johanna's Hobbit-hole of Incompetent Scribblings, Whimsicalities and other Oddities awaits.
(Except you have to wait until I post something)