CGC (Christian Girls Chat) discussion
Let's Discuss-Social Issues
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Self Harm
Do u have parents u can comfortably talk with about this? I don't know where your parents stand in your life, but if it was me, I think my parents would help a lot. Sometimes they can be a better help than you'd think:)
Some people have a hard time confiding in others though. Even if the others are your parents, siblings, or friends. I'm that way. I never talk to others about how I'm feeling. Even if I've been having a rough week, when people ask me how I am, I always respond, "Just fine" or "I'm okay", or even "Great".
While ideally we should be turning to others for help, comfort, advice, prayer... it doesn't always end up that way.
While ideally we should be turning to others for help, comfort, advice, prayer... it doesn't always end up that way.
Cari wrote: "Some people have a hard time confiding in others though. Even if the others are your parents, siblings, or friends. I'm that way. I never talk to others about how I'm feeling. Even if I've been hav..."same here....
I agree, Brianna. Parents are absolutely amazing. They can be your best friend, and they understand a lot more than you think. They were, after all, your age at some point in time as well.Of course, I am pretty open about how I feel. Opposite of Cari, I am willing to answer honestly when I'm prompted, even volunteering the information if I'm close to someone. I just feel so much better when I tell someone how I feel. Like I don't have to carry those feelings anymore, and now that I've let them out, I can choose to let go of them and not feel them anymore. Of course, there are some feelings that I keep private, and those I still tell - I just tell a blank page instead.
And I think Christal said somewhere on this page that it is our decision, really, to decide how we feel. Lately I've been discovering that. It's easy to not feel good, and just wallow and feed that depression. But it's digging your own pit. Sometimes it feels unreal, but you have to take a step back and try to consciously make a decision to be happy. I had a rough day today. It was a mess, and confusing, and I have a ton of work to do and all these people to answer to, when I don't know how. And I was pretty upset after school.
I fed my depression. I sat down, listened to weepy instrumentals, and ate three bags of chocolate-covered goji berries. I thought about what I did today, and what I wasn't happy with, and how horrible and miserable my day had gone. And at the same time, I was thinking, "Well, I have a ton of work to do. And being depressed is not going to help me, so I guess I should just be more depressed because my situation is getting worse."
But then I realized that while I couldn't change what had already happened today, I could change what I felt about it. And I could change what I do tomorrow. And the day after. I could keep moving forward, and stop looking backward. And so I made a conscious decision to be HAPPY. It felt really fake at first, but telling yourself you're happy, and acting like you're happy, and ignoring everything that's going on in your head, other than the things that make you happy... works.
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we were talking in Church about how as Christians we're one body right? But no one ever says anything other than good to a How are you? Even if we were just crying three seconds ago
Another thing, Arael, (if I'm correct about this cutting issue) is something I've done to help my "I'm such a pussy" or "i suck at everything", self-condemnation. Whenever I feel like I suck, I turn to the thing I do best: writing. Even if I don't write, I'll go read some of my stories and convince myself, no, I'm not a failure. Find a passion, girl. Find something that you can pour your soul into, and when you're down, it'll serve you. If you like reading, then find books that will help you totally forgot about where you are. If you love horses, find something to do with horses that will make u laugh and happy. Sometimes God uses things we wouldn't think to do to make us happier. Sure, we have the Bible, but sometimes I think he wants us to find a passion, like my writing, to help us see we're special and loved, and not a failure. Writing, reading, NFL football, racing my teammates...those things make me laugh, smile, and feel proud of myself and happy. :)
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:D I haven't been on here for a while.
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High school. Two words says it all! LOL I'm learning French this year plus five other subjects. Holy mackerel. I didn't think it would be so time consuming! haha
I feel so bad and horrible... I tried giving others advice on here about not cutting, and a few days ago it just hit me again (the depression, that is) after more than two years, and I was crying so hard in the bathroom and feeling miserable and the razor suddenly appeared in my hand and I tried to cut my wrist. It only left a scratch, though, because it wasn't sharp enough. :P I don't know why depression does that to a person. I guess that's why it has the word "press" in it, it presses down on you and makes you do awful things. Anyway, I'm perfectly fine now. I'm my normal self again, thank God, but I do feel very guilty for giving out some advice to people, and I don't even follow that advice myself. I apologize and hope ya'll can forgive me. :/
Abbey wrote: "Christal wrote: "I feel so bad and horrible... I tried giving others advice on here about not cutting, and a few days ago it just hit me again (the depression, that is) after more than two years, a..."
Thanks, Abbey. I guess that's just part of living, isn't it? :)
Thanks, Abbey. I guess that's just part of living, isn't it? :)
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oh dear. I'm praying. Its okay dont feel hypocritical we all struggle sometimes. No ones perfect (im certainly not XD) stay strong God loves!
people help others in the ways that they themselves struggle also.
your most painful experience will become your greatest ministry is what our pastor says
Then I can help people with some really bad stuff! :D
Counselors don't help much with cutting...they are good for many other things, just not that. Best friends are the best for that! :)
I've struggled with thoughts of self harm before. When I was diagnosed with my autism, and because I have an overbite at first I felt like I was worthless and had thoughts of running steak knives down my arms. I have only told my mom and my best friend this, and now you guys, please don't share it with anyone else. I have struggled with anxiety and depression. My best friend and I are close because she also went through depression and is now running a Facebook group dedicated to helping those who cut. Before I went to the drawer to get a knife, my mom said "Don't you dare do that." I'm so glad she stopped me. I have thought about self harming, but thankfully have never done it.
I have got so angry with myself that I have punched myself repeatedly to make bruises - probably to try to punish myself for being me. It is not a good idea, God loves us all and values us all enough to die for us. also, when we give our lives to Him that includes our earthly bodies and we no longer have the right to damage them purposely. He would not want us to.
It's hard when you go through a low part in your life to not cut...It's hard to not feel alone, but that's why it's such a powerful tool against humans. Satan WANTS us to feel alone, then he can begin to slowly tear us down.
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im sure counselors can Jacklyn
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anxiety and depression are hard things. im glad your family and friends are there for you :)
quick question....I don't mean to be rude but you're autistic? You seem perfectly normal through the internet :)
Autism is a spectrum disorder. There are milder or more severe forms. Symptoms vary from one person to the next.
♥Caro♥ wrote: "testimonies are great for ministry :Dim sure counselors can Jacklyn"
Yeah, but not really. It always comes up, but if you say 'yeah, did it this week," They usually just try and deal with what led to it, but it's hard to tell.
Sooo, I totally didn't see any of these posts till now. Lol, sorry for dropping off the edge of the map guys!
So how has everyone been?? Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good at encouraging people, if I do say so myself ;) Hope you're all doing amazingly well! Remember: Jesus loves you! ;) <3
So how has everyone been?? Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good at encouraging people, if I do say so myself ;) Hope you're all doing amazingly well! Remember: Jesus loves you! ;) <3
Hi Christal! And why thank you, Sam :') <3
Lia wrote: "Sooo, I totally didn't see any of these posts till now. Lol, sorry for dropping off the edge of the map guys!
So how has everyone been?? Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good at encouraging pe..."
good 'cause i may need it someday
So how has everyone been?? Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good at encouraging pe..."
good 'cause i may need it someday
Anytime Angel - if you ever need anything, I'm only a goodreads message away :)
Angel, Lia is my best friend, and she IS very good :D
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yeah thats true. I have a friend with really mild symptoms
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So how has everyone been?? Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good at encouraging pe..."
u, sam and cari are practically the Canadian advice trio lol! hi!! long time no see sorta?
Cari wrote: "Autism is a spectrum disorder. There are milder or more severe forms. Symptoms vary from one person to the next."Yep, I'm on that spectrum too. It includes Autism, Asperger's, and some other behavioral disorder that I forget the name of. :)
So I've kinda been avoiding this but I've been feeling alot of self-hatred. I thought I would never hurt myself. But I have a couple times. Like, I've stabbed myself with a needle a couple times and about a month ago I got out my pocket knife and just started cutting my thumb. Not so much that I bled but enough that I can still see and feel the mark it left. No one knows about this but you guys and I don't know if I can physically talk to someone about it.... not even my family. I need help but I don't know how to get it. The only thing I can think of doing is praying. Which is actually kind of hard for me....
This might not fully apply to you, but I found this on the Focus on the Family website.If you are an emotionally sensitive person, how would friends and family describe you? Positive, compassionate, creative, empathetic and giving? Would they say you are a good teacher and a good listener, and that you understand their problems, regardless of the issue?
Even though you've embraced these strengths, you also might feel animosity toward this sensitive side. After all, you're easily insulted; at times, you feel thin-skinned, even weak—which you thoroughly dislike. Other kids bullied you as a child; adults sometimes take advantage of you now.
Emotional sensitivity is your blessing—and your curse; and it has become such a burden you've turned to cutting because that's the only way you know how to express yourself emotionally.
Deep down, maybe you don't want to travel down this path any longer. Yes, cutting may give you temporary, or maybe it helps you deal with a painful past. Deep down, though, you know it isn't a healthy relief, and you need to break away from this addiction.
Whatever your circumstances,
Prepare yourself because changing your mind, body and spirit won't be an easy task. A first to take is to work on talking it out, so you don't have to act it out. Of course, you'll need to seek help from a counselor.
Another step to help will be to change your mode of thinking. Thankfully, embracing these Scriptures will help counteract these negative feelings you may have:
Feeling: I need to be punished.
Truth: When Jesus allowed Himself to be beaten, mocked and nailed to a cross to die, he paid the price for any wrongs. He bled (so that I don't have to) and gave me grace, love and forgiveness (1 Peter 2:24).
I have been made righteous because of a faith in Jesus, and he has freely given me His grace in spite of my sin (Romans 3:21-26).
Feeling: God has abandoned me.
Truth: Because God loves me, He promises to never leave me or forsake me. His love for me is everlasting; it will never stop, disappear or grow cold. Nothing can separate me from His love—not even myself. He won't ever leave me but will provide mercy and grace when I am in need (Hebrews 13:5, Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 8:35-39 and Hebrews 4:16).
Feeling: Things are never going to get better.
Truth: God promises me of a future and a hope. I can't see it right now, and I don't know how He is working it out. Still, I choose to trust Him, and while He is working out my problems, I will wait on Him (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 27:14).
Feeling: I'll never be able to change.
Truth: When I came to Christ, He made me a new creation. It will take time to renew my mind, body and spirit, but He has promised to change me, no matter how I feel (John 15:15, 2 Corinthians 5:7, Colossians 2:7, Philippians 1:6).
Feeling: I'm unlovable.
Truth: When Jesus died on the cross, He demonstrated the ultimate act of love for me. He did this because I am chosen and dearly loved (Romans 5:6-11, Colossians 3:12).
Feeling: I'm unacceptable.
Truth: Because God created me, and Christ died for me, I am acceptable to Him; before the world was created, He made the choice to adopt me as His own (Ephesians 2:13, I Peter 2:9, Ephesians 1:5).
Feeling: I feel like God won't forgive me.
Truth: Despite how I see myself, God sees me as blameless and holy because of what Christ did on the cross. It's hard to imagine, but God has completely forgiven me. When I confess anything that I have done wrong, He is more than willing to forgive and cleanse me from sin, no matter how many mistakes I make (Colossians 1:22, Colossians 1:13-14, 1 John 1:9).
Remember, change takes time, but if you accept the truth of what God says, and seek professional help, you will discover better coping and life skills.
Rachel honey, I know how you feel. I've felt like that sometimes, probably not to the same extent, but I know how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, try finding an adult or friend. It helps talking to us, but I guarantee you'll feel better talking to someone in person who can hug you and comfort you. :) (if you want to talk via email, I'll gladly talk to you.)
I'll be praying!
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my best friend cuts and i never knew it.
Thanks Brianna. I'll try to remember to come back to this when I'm feeling down.
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your post on the first page is helping immensely
Oh, and your post Brianna is preety aweesomee...cool beans. :)
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♥Caro♥ wrote: "sure :) I love her lol":D you and I both! I've popped her an email.
Hey all! So sorry I disappeared again! Jacklyn! Long time no talk! Caro, love you too! Sam! :') <3
Hey Rachel - nice to talk to you again! Just want to say firstly that the fact that you opened up to us, even though we're kind of random people and seem like just names and words on a screen, that is so huge. I've been where you've been and I never had the courage to open up. The thing about self-harm and depression and self-hatred is that they only work effectively when no one knows. Once you open up, it's a lot harder for the enemy to get you. Darkness cannot stay where there is light. So firstly, super proud of your Rachel. Seriously. It always took me months to open up, and that was always out of desperation. So I'm really proud of you. You're crazy brave, Rachel! *e-high five*
Now in terms of what you're going through, the first thing you gotta do is figure out why exactly you don't like yourself. That will help you as you try to stop self-harming, which is step number two. For me, it was a long process to reach that self-hatred point. Before that happened, I had slowly stopped enjoying life, just kind of going through the motions of the mundane day, and I started allowing myself to drift away from others. I started reading a lot of books, trying to escape reality because I liked living in the lives of others, even if they were fictional people - any life was better than my life, at least that's how I subconsciously thought. For me there was a process before the self-hatred point. I was desensitized, so to speak, and so when the self-hatred started coming in, I didn't really notice it or care enough to stop.
What you need to figure out is how you got to this point. If you're serious about nipping this struggle in the butt before it really takes shape, that's so amazing! And don't think that you're alone in this battle. The enemy wants you to think that no body understands, no one would really get it, no one would love you if they found out, no one really cares about you. But those are lies, okay? Total lies! Don't believe that garbage. You are so loved and even though we may not know you very well, every single one of us on this thread/group will be here for you to the best of our abilities, okay?
You're not in this alone, Rachel. And again, so proud of you. The fact that you're getting to this point now is incredible. It took me over a year to even want to change, so you're doing amazing girl! :D
Hey Rachel - nice to talk to you again! Just want to say firstly that the fact that you opened up to us, even though we're kind of random people and seem like just names and words on a screen, that is so huge. I've been where you've been and I never had the courage to open up. The thing about self-harm and depression and self-hatred is that they only work effectively when no one knows. Once you open up, it's a lot harder for the enemy to get you. Darkness cannot stay where there is light. So firstly, super proud of your Rachel. Seriously. It always took me months to open up, and that was always out of desperation. So I'm really proud of you. You're crazy brave, Rachel! *e-high five*
Now in terms of what you're going through, the first thing you gotta do is figure out why exactly you don't like yourself. That will help you as you try to stop self-harming, which is step number two. For me, it was a long process to reach that self-hatred point. Before that happened, I had slowly stopped enjoying life, just kind of going through the motions of the mundane day, and I started allowing myself to drift away from others. I started reading a lot of books, trying to escape reality because I liked living in the lives of others, even if they were fictional people - any life was better than my life, at least that's how I subconsciously thought. For me there was a process before the self-hatred point. I was desensitized, so to speak, and so when the self-hatred started coming in, I didn't really notice it or care enough to stop.
What you need to figure out is how you got to this point. If you're serious about nipping this struggle in the butt before it really takes shape, that's so amazing! And don't think that you're alone in this battle. The enemy wants you to think that no body understands, no one would really get it, no one would love you if they found out, no one really cares about you. But those are lies, okay? Total lies! Don't believe that garbage. You are so loved and even though we may not know you very well, every single one of us on this thread/group will be here for you to the best of our abilities, okay?
You're not in this alone, Rachel. And again, so proud of you. The fact that you're getting to this point now is incredible. It took me over a year to even want to change, so you're doing amazing girl! :D
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so encouraging I have to say :)
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@Christal-i totally agree. it's an awful cycle of addiction. I'm happy you're out of it :D