Introduce yourself, prove your nerdiness

[David]

Hi, My name is David and I am the founder of Librum Amator. I would like all new members to introduce themselves and give at least one nerdy fact about yourself. So, I will start off: I am 14 years old, yet attempt to give the appearance of maturity in public or on the internet. As for my nerdy fact(s), I have completed the Harry Potter series about twenty times, I have been converted to a complete Sherlockian (BBC), and I like talking about the ancient Olmec civilization and the French & Indian War.

[Emily]

William the Conqueror
William II Rufus
Henry I
Matilda
Stephen
Henry II
Richard I
John
Henry III
Edward I
Edward II
Edward III
Richard II
Henry IV
Henry V
Henry VI
Edward IV
Edward V
Richard III
Henry VII
Henry VIII
Edward VI
Jane
Mary I
Elizabeth I
James I
Charles I
Oliver Cromwell
Charles II
James II
William III & Mary II
Anne
George I
George II
George III
George IV
William IV
Victoria
Edward VII
George V
Edward VIII
George VI
Elizabeth II

^from my nerd-head.

[Emily]

And now for something (not) completely different:

A summary of the Wars of the Roses:

Once upon a time, there was this dude who died. This dude was Edward, the Prince of Wales, known as the Black Prince and son of Edward III. So his dweeby son, Richard, becomes the next king at the age of nine. He screws up royally (see what I did there?) and pisses off his cousin, a dude who went by the name of Henry, like nearly everyone else of that time period. Richard kicks his cousin out of England, only for Henry to come back and kick him off of his throne. They both had some pretty serious skills. So Henry becomes Henry IV.

Anyways, he kicks the bucket and his son becomes Henry V. Henry V beats the crap out of France. Marries a French princess, Catherine of Valois. Has a son. And dies. He too has serious skills.

His slightly crazy son becomes king at nine-ish months of age and has the kingdom ruled by his uncles and various lord-like peeps. He grows up. Marries a French lady, Margaret of Anjou, who is about ten-thousand times cooler than he is. They have a son just around the time he goes a little loopy. And by a "little loopy," what I mean to say is craaaaaaaaaaaazy. Like really crazy. So she tries to rule the country. Not cool, according to his cousin, whose name was Richard, and he was the Duke of York. A nice switch-up from all of the Henrys, I think.

They fight, they make up. They fight again, and Mr. York dies. As does his son. And his brother-in-law. And his nephew. Ms. Margaret was pretty thrilled, but unfortunately for her, Mr. York's oldest son was about ten-thousand times more fabulous than he ever was. At the age of nineteen, he beats the serious crap out of poor Ms. Margaret and claims the throne for himself, becoming Edward IV.

Now he had a bit of help from his cousin, the Kingmaker, who wanted to rule the country through Edward. However, Edward's a douchey teenager and he gets married to a pretty cool chick named Elizabeth Woodville. That more or less pisses off just about everybody in the entire world. She's got a trillion, give or take, siblings who need rich dudes/dudettes to marry, so nearly all of the little noble folk are married to Woodvilles, who were previously a family of squire-level.

So the Kingmaker rebels because he's really cool like that. He takes Edward IV's baby brother with him and they be cool together. They form an alliance with the deposed queen, Ms. Margaret. Kingmaker uses his daughters as bargaining chips and marries his eldest to the king's baby brother (a dude named George) and his youngest to Ms. Margaret's son, Edward, sort-of kind-of not-really the Prince of Wales. The place crazy Henry VI back onto England's really ticked-off throne.

They manage to force Edward out of the country, and he has to chill in Burgundy, a place very, very close to France (most likely). With him is his much better baby brother, Richard. Anyways, a little bit later, the exiled dudes are back, kill a lot of people, kill the Kingmaker, and place Edward IV back on the throne, which was probably fuming with fury by now.

So it's all great until Edward IV has the audacity to die of something like a cold, the douche. So his twelve year old son becomes Edward V for about twenty seconds. Then he's declared a bastard by his loving uncle, Richard, and locked up in the Tower with his baby brother. They, um, die. Yeah...

So now Richard becomes Richard III for around forty seconds. That's when Henry VII comes out of nowhere and beats the poop out of Richard at Bosworth Field. And that's the beginning of the Tudor dynasty.

Now, Henry was nothing without the women who stood behind him. His mother, Lady Margaret Beaufort, formed an alliance with Edward IV's queen, Elizabeth Woodville. They make a marriage pact, which basically gave Elizabeth of York (Elizabeth's Woodville's daughter) to Henry VII. Margaret Beaufort makes her douchey husband betray Richard III on the battle field, though he takes too long, and Henry never really trusts him later in his reign. Ha ha.

So Henry marries Elizabeth of York, and their second son is King Henry VIII, who is stupes enough to say there were roses without thrones. Wow dude.

So a really, really quick summary which contains all you really need to know about the Wars of the Roses is this:

Everybody dies the end.

[Emily]

(am I a nerd yet?)

[David]

Emily wrote: "(am I a nerd yet?)"

I think that you may qualify.

[Emily]

Purr.