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The Edward Soliloqy/Monologue Contest
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message 51:
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(last edited Jun 05, 2009 06:21PM)
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Jun 05, 2009 06:16PM
I was still wondering what could possibly be Bella's problem. If not the Volturi, then what?"You never did tell me...," I murmured. "What?" she asked. "What you're greatest problem is," I tod her. "I'll give you one guess," she said sighing, and touched the tip of my nose. I nodded grimly."I'm worse than the Volturi," I said in the same tone as I felt." I guess I earned that." She rolled her eyes and said," the worst the Volturi can do is kill me." I waited, wondering where this was going. "You can leave me," she explained." The Volturi, Victoria... they're nothing compared to that." Agony spread through me like a wildfire. The pain was worse than the venom when it coursed through my body, when Jane tortured me, it was nothing compared to this feeling as I relized how much damage I had done. I had hurt her so much when I had left, she was asolutely mortified that I would leave her again. If only she could understand that I could never do that again... "Don't," she whispered, stroking my face."Don't be sad." For her, I strugled to pull up half of my face. But the agony was still there, and I don't think it would ever go away. "If there was only some way to make you see I can't leave you," I mumbled. "Time, I suppose, will be the way to convince you." As I thought about the idea of time, I felt better. Of getting to be there every day and night, with her.Bella. My reason to live with me every day. But the pain was still there, like there was gasoline being poured on the wildfire. Bella changed the subject." So--since you're staying. Can I have my stuff back?" she wondered, her tone light. I laughed. This seemed to bother her."Your things were never gone," I told her. "I knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders. It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the tickets--they're all under your floorboards." "Really?!" she exclaimed. I nodded, and it cheered me that she was obviously elated by this trivial news. "I think," she said slowly,"I'm not sure, but I wonder... I think I knew it the whole time." This made me wonder what she knew the whole time. I had to know. "What did you know?" I asked. "Some part of me, my subconsious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. That's probably why I was hearing the voices." Voices? What voices? Whos voice? Ugg! It was killing me that I didn't know. So I asked. "Voices?" I said, my voice flat. "Well, jsut one. Yours. It's a long story." I started wondering about Bella's mental health. But, it told me something that I wanted to know. She loved me even when I was gone, so much that she had delusions. The pain started fading. But the curiosity buirned like a thirst. "I've got time," I said, my voice unaturally even. "It's pretty patheic," she said. I waited for her to start.I didn't care if it was pathetic or not! I just needed to know. A part of me, though, said I really didn't want to know. I ignored it. "Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?" she asked. "You jumpoed of a cliff for fun." Oh, how that angered me!Bella had broken her promise, and that infuriated me, but I didn't let it show. "Er, right.And before, with the motercycle--." I interupted right there. "Motorcycles?" I asked, as calmly as I could. WHAT?! A MOTORCYCLE?! IS SHE INSANE?!THOSE THINGS COULD KILL HER!!!Just pictuing Bella on a motorcyle,--ugg! If she crashed...I couldn't even THINK what the possibilities could be. "I guess I didn't tell Alice about that part." "No." "Well, about that...See, I found out that... when I was doing something dangerous or stupid...I could remember you more clearly," she confessed. Wait, what?What?? She put herself in danger to remember me?! Has she gone nuts?! "I could remember how your voice sounded when you were angery. I could hear it, like you were right next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didn't hurt so much--it was like you were protecting me again.Like you didn't want me to be hurt." I was still hung on her endangering herself so she could hear my voice. She continued. "And, well, I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all, I always knew you hadn't stopped loving me." I spoke as well as I could. I sounded like I was being strangled. "You...were...risking your life... to hear--"She inturupted me."Shh! Hold on a second. I think I'm having an epiphany here." I shushed and waited. 120.00001 seconds later, she uttered a soft gasp. "Bella?" I asked. "Oh!Okay. I see." My voice was strained and neven as I asked," Your epiphany?" "You love me," was her response. A grin flashed across my face. "Truely, I do." Her heart beat was so strong and loud I thought she was going to have a thacacardia. I grabbed her face tightly and kissed her so long that when I stopped,my breathing was harder, just like hers.
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I was lying on my back behind a school in Missouri, bored enough to just sit and listen to people's thoughts. With her not being there, intellectually I was repressed. I needed something to distract me from everything and from nothing.
I quickly found the thoughts of a boy who was reading, bent over a book. Jane Eyre. I'd read it before, but still enjoyed it, and his commentary kept me entertained.
She leaves the school sometime, right? It's not as old-fashioned as I thought it would be. But boring, God, boring as he -ck. Louisa, she'd better appreciate -
In his mind I felt a sudden surge of feeling and saw a girl talking to her friends just passed him, her back turned to him. I sat up somewhat, passionate. Her hair - it was the same color as Bella's.
I took a breath to calm myself - realizing that I'd fallen out of the habit of breathing of late. The hair, it was a slightly different shade - just a bit lighter, with more red, the difference indistinguishable to a human eye. Relieving, and empty, to mine.
Calm, Edward, I told myself, and smiled wryly. That was to much to ask when my heart was so aflame and on fire. Live, I revised. There is hair, of just the right shade, out there, somewhere -
And then Rosalie called me.
I quickly found the thoughts of a boy who was reading, bent over a book. Jane Eyre. I'd read it before, but still enjoyed it, and his commentary kept me entertained.
She leaves the school sometime, right? It's not as old-fashioned as I thought it would be. But boring, God, boring as he -ck. Louisa, she'd better appreciate -
In his mind I felt a sudden surge of feeling and saw a girl talking to her friends just passed him, her back turned to him. I sat up somewhat, passionate. Her hair - it was the same color as Bella's.
I took a breath to calm myself - realizing that I'd fallen out of the habit of breathing of late. The hair, it was a slightly different shade - just a bit lighter, with more red, the difference indistinguishable to a human eye. Relieving, and empty, to mine.
Calm, Edward, I told myself, and smiled wryly. That was to much to ask when my heart was so aflame and on fire. Live, I revised. There is hair, of just the right shade, out there, somewhere -
And then Rosalie called me.
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It was very good - okay, I guess I did read these, sort-of. I was in a hurry though.
We should have a poll on whose should win.
That's a good idea. But I have one more to enter.
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Oh and I still don't know when I am closing the contest. So deal with it!
I am epic! You are not. Deal with it!
We know it's your contest. We weren't trying to take over, we'd just like to express our opinions. Some of us live in America, so we are allowed to expression our opinions. Freedom of speech!Well, even if you were epic you you don't have to be a biatch about it. I'm epic, possibly more. I'm freakishly loved and popular not only online but offline.
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And I did say that it would be a good idea for the poll, and that I think that your input would be good. And I know that a good portion of us live in America, but really, how free are we? (and yes I am aware that we are more free than other countries) but seriously our declaration of independance still has not been acted upon by America as a whole!
Wow I just got totally political for almost no apparent reason!
I am such a dork!
A fun happy hyper dork! That I am proud to be!
I have an email signature, and am on my iPod. It doesn't show up. The Constitution clearly says in many places that people of all gender, race, age, and religion all have the right to voice what they would like to say. Some people still treat people from there physical appearance/skin color and those people are wrong. We are incredibly free, as you already said. We actually are the most free country in this works I believe, which is why other countries go to war with us. Jealousy.
I go political all the time. My parents work within the law.
I am a geek.
A geek that was been partying for the last nine hours, and plan on many more.
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And yes I do think that we are incredibly free, but still not Free. But again I must say that we are quite free.
And my parents work in law enforcement.
And yes I am a geek too.
Okay. No, we are considered free despite the fact we still have laws.
My dad works in law enforcement, my mom is a federal judge.
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My dad is just a regular cop, but he works in S. Dallas.
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happy smiley hypernessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!
in yous faces!
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I'm finally going to start on my next entry, since my computer is up and running again.
Okay! My entry only took about fifteen minutes, so it's gotta suck.Where was I? I honestly had no idea. I just knew I was in an attic, some where in South America. I had been tracking Victoria, but she was no where to be seen. Had I followed a false trail? Most likely, but I did not turn back.
I had no hunting in weeks, and my throat was burning. I had been here for probably four or five months, I was not sure of the month or season. I only left when it was most necessary to hunt.
The home I was in was abandonded, and no humans every came by. It was in the woods, so I was fairly safe from killing anyone. I suppose that was a fairly good thing, for their sake. I did not want to disappoint Carlisle any more than I already had. I knew that I was a true monster, that was for sure.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I did not bother to pick it up, as it was probably just my family checking in on me. Maybe if they though I was dead it would be better. They could just go ahead and move on with their lives, 'forget' that I ever existed.
Again, my phone buzzed. I continued to ignore it, though. After probably the twentieth buzz, I looked at caller idea. I was not expecting to see Rosalie's name there.
"What?!" I all but growled at her as I answered the phone. I was not in the mood to have her and her attitude. "Well hello to you to." She said in annoyance. I guessed she just called to annoy me, and hung up the phone. I was most certainly not in the mood for her and all of her pigheadedness. I wasn't really in the mood for anyone anymore, not even bubbly little Alice.
Once again, Rose called. "What do you want, Rosalie?!" I yelled at her. "Well, then, you probably need to hunt. You're in such a bad mood." I growled at her, and said. "I'm going to not answer the phone next time." I threatened her.
"Wait! Okay, fine." My sister said. I waited for her to speak for a few moments, but she remained silence. My patience was wearing thin. "Well, what do you want?" I said, annoyance clear in my voice.
"It's over. You can come home now." What? What was over? I shook my head. I had no clue what she was talking about. "What are you talking about?" I asked her, actually a little curious. I couldn't think of anything she was talking about, and refused to think of her. It was much too painful, though she consumed my every though.
"It's over. Bella's dead." WHAT?! This was not even possible. She had to be playing some sick sort of joke. "What." I growled at her, impossibly angry by her statement. She had to be lying, and I would kill her for this sick joke one day.
"Bella's dead. Alice saw her jump off a cliff, and not re-surface." The moment she spoke the words, I hung up the phone. Alice would not lie about something like that. I knew Alice loved Bella.
I threw my phone in some garbage can, and looked around to recognize Rio de Janerio. I made my way to the airport, ignoring the burn in my throat. I bought the first ticket to Italy that she mentioned, not even bothernig where it was. I could run the rest of the way if it wasn't straight to Volterra.
Hello Italy, goodbye family.
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