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message 1: by Samantha (new)

Samantha Mcdade (samanthamcdade) | 7 comments I am reading a book that has my emotions in an uproar. I was wondering if anyone here has read it or if they are reading it? The book deals with sexual assault and domestic violence among other things and I just seem to be crying a lot, sometimes happy tears and sometimes hard tears.

message 2: by Meghan (new)

Meghan | 423 comments Mod
Samantha, we made a folder for this! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on it. Sounds intriguing.

message 3: by Samantha (new)

Samantha Mcdade (samanthamcdade) | 7 comments OMG!

I just finished this book. Please, if any of you have read it, let me know.

I don't want to spoil it, but I'm bubbling on the inside. I looked at my husband this evening and told him that I love him. I'm really blessed that I've never been raped, molested or battered.

Toward the end, the author told about how she was raped by a minister. I'm wondering if you're safe anywhere if not in the church! What are your thoughts?


message 4: by Sarah (last edited Feb 01, 2008 10:05AM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) | 284 comments Mod
Samantha, I haven't read the book, but I do want to respond to your comment about the minister. The fact is that men and women of the clergy are humans with sins and faults like everyone else. But I think we should be very careful not to categorize the church in general as an unsafe place, or to assume that, because of what that person went through, no one is safe in church. My husband was in the ministry for a few years and I believe that ministers and people in church leadership are faced with more temptations and more attacks on their spirit than anyone else. Evil does not want good to spread, and my belief is that the devil will actively try to derail a person whose ministry is thriving. I am not in any way excusing the actions of clergy who've abused people. But I think that if you are a minister and you do not have a strong, firmly rooted faith in God, a supportive family, a church who prays for you regularly, and a firm moral compass, you will be led astray. People tend to forget that their spiritual leaders need prayer and support. In my experience, they give and they give and they give and seldom does anyone stop to ask if there is anything they need prayer for.

Again, I'm not in any way condoning sexual abuse or any kind of inappropriate behavior by clergy. Nor do I want to get into a religious debate. I just want to urge you and anyone else reading this that a whole church cannot be judged by its bad apples.

message 5: by Samantha (new)

Samantha Mcdade (samanthamcdade) | 7 comments Sarah, you are right. I'm sorry it came across like that. But I thought about how often women are probably abused in their church home and never speaks up.

Actually, the author spoke about staying with God and determining inside herself to not let that make her bitter or distrustful, though it did for a season. The author is a minister too.

Today, I went back to a particular chapter and read it to my sister. So, she has my book now. You gotta read it. I don't want to tell the whole thing. It was a tear-jerker. I've been to the author's blog too. I left a message. I want her to come here. I just want to ask her some questions.

Thanks again, Sarah. I apologize for that.

message 6: by Samantha (new)

Samantha Mcdade (samanthamcdade) | 7 comments I found a few interviews about this book and the author yesterday. Here's one I think yall might like: She has a very candid interview there.

I also found her blog. I've left a message for her to join GoodReads. It is

Today, I re-read a bit of the book, particularly the parts that dealt with her failed marriages. I also finished the book of poetry by the author: Becoming, My Personal Memoirs.

message 7: by Debbie (new)

Debbie Todd (debbietodd) | 2 comments I've read it, Samantha. I just finished not very long ago. I cried all the way through it. I've read several reviews on the book. Not one has brought out the part that made me weep half the night: when her mother left her after saying she would stay. The detail she included on how she felt was so tangible and real, I felt as if it was me. Girl, this book is a one of a kind thing.

message 8: by Samantha (new)

Samantha Mcdade (samanthamcdade) | 7 comments Hello Debbie. Nice to meet you.

Yeah. That was a very sad part. I don't see how she found the courage to talk about that with her mother still being alive and all. I wonder what she thought as she read her daughter's book, or do you think she knows about the book?

Have you got to the part where she stabs her husband? Let me know, because that's what I really want to discuss.

message 9: by Debbie (new)

Debbie Todd (debbietodd) | 2 comments I read the whole book. I did read that part and it does seem you are anxious to discuss it. I wonder why? Inquiring minds, you know.

I won't lie. I kind of felt sorry for him. I hate men who hit women, but she wasn't really acting out because of him. All of her pain was played out on him, and he was so young. He lost the ability to properly use his hand. I hate that. But, I wonder what her next two husband's thought? I just wouldn't marry someone who had a history of violence, though she is really a sweet person. I interviewed her on my blog: She's married to a pastor.

Anyway, what do you want to discuss about it?

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