The Two Line Poem Game (no word limit) Showing 2,101-2,150 of 2,504

[Roger]

When you go to France you eats cuisine wot's haute
But when you cross the Channel that goes out wiv the boat.

[Preston, Moderator]

Out with the boat and in with the fish,
For in England chips and fish is the national dish.

[Preston, Moderator]

To Briton there is only one sign of the Apocalypse,
That's when the country runs out of fish and chips.

[Roger]

It's the rage right now to serve on Welsh slate
Your fish’n’chips, instead of normally on a plate.

[Roger]

And when you complain and ask, "What's this mean?"
The waiter smiles and replies, "It's what we call haute cuisine."

[Roger]

"I'm used to newspaper, but slate? I'd rather a plate."
"It's how it comes," says he. "So get used to it, mate."

[Preston, Moderator]

Fish’n’chips so haute their up in a balloon,
So haute high they're up and over the moon.

[Preston, Moderator]

So high that Rick your fish’n’chips waiter,
Has to get them from a Mercurial crater.

[Preston, Moderator]

In King Arthur's court to get fish'n'chips,
You need a Connecticut yankee and a solar eclipse.

[Rick]

For King Arthur, if that's the case,
His order for fish'n'chips will lose the race.

[Roger]

With your fish’n’chips it seems only fair
To offer you a spoonful of sauce tartare.

[Preston, Moderator]

On Barney Miller we had Det. Fish,
On C.H.I.P.S we had a blond cop who was boyish.

[Roger]

Denis Waterman was a blondish cop on Sweeney Tod †
The TV series that was all about the Flying Squad.

† https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Swe...

[Preston, Moderator]

Calling the show Sweeny Tod is quite droll,
It implies quite rightly that heads will roll.

[Roger]

It starred the problem of Crash #19, George Cole
Which almost resulted in Oliver getting sent to the Hole.

[Preston, Moderator]

Getting sent to the hole? What was amiss?
Were they against Oli because he was Swiss?

[Roger]

No, it was because he drew Cole as a cartoon
Based on a rival magazine's even crueller lampoon.

[Preston, Moderator]

Crash magazine unlawfully lampooned Sinclair as Unclear
But zillions of new subscribers came to your stratosphere.

[Roger]

We were laughing all the way to the bank
With poor Sinclair User to thank.

[Roger]

Come to think, Sinclair Use was a load of malarky,
It was like looking through a glass darkly.

[Roger]

On the other hand, a mag that was fun was Your Spectrum
And reading it was like shooting a big load of… gum.

[Preston, Moderator]

Alleluia I'm a bum!
But I sat on some gum.

[Preston, Moderator]

I need to chew my pants,
before they get chewing gum ants.

[Preston, Moderator]

I'd go to the dry cleaners here,
but somebody already took me there.

[Preston, Moderator]

Is that a phrase you use in G.B.?
I never know if it's the same across the sea.

[Roger]

We have dry cleaners here like you do
Who take in clothes and make them as new.

[Roger]

The biggest dry cleaner chain is called Sketchley,
But sadly for Ludlow our nearest is in Bletchley.

[Roger]

No, that's not true it was just a rhyming lark,
But Alan Turing, he worked at Bletchley Park.

[Preston, Moderator]

You can't honor the dead neither him nor her,
The queens only honors the living, dame or sir.

[Preston, Moderator]

So that is the rule that is ensuring,
We'll never write out Sir Alan Turing.

[Preston, Moderator]

Though dead guys like pederast DJs,
Get called Sir in history this days.

[Roger]

For the BBC I oft had to travel,
But I never did meet Jimmy Savile.

[Roger]

I have a friend – let's call him Mike Smith,
Who when questioned he took the Fifth.

[Roger]

He dealt with JS on Top Of The Pops, you know,
But had to guard his pretty ass against Matt Monro,

[Roger]

Not only he but also Perry Como…
(Who knew he was sometimes a homo?).

[Roger]

Yes, my friend he lived a ways across Hampstead Heath,
His real name you know, none other than Ian Pleeth.

[Preston, Moderator]

You can't fool me, Ian Pleeth is it?
He doesn't exist or else you would visit.

[Preston, Moderator]

Mike is devilish
and Ian's Jewish.

[Preston, Moderator]

Mike finagles,
Ian eats bagels,

[Preston, Moderator]

Mike's deep into boy sopranos,
Ian is into antique pianos.

[Preston, Moderator]

One carried a coffin in a film (not well publicized :)
But one thing they've in common, BOTH were circumcised.

[Bethany]

The Queen and the Rabbi, before they are dead,
both utter a cry of "off with their heads!"

[Bethany]

Well, the foreskin's not quite a head, just a part,
but erroneous rhymes are a part of fine art.

[Bethany]

It is imperfections that make art good,
as well as the foreskin or not, all part of manhood.

[Preston, Moderator]

Some have it and some do not,
Either way you got what you got.

[Preston, Moderator]

Here's a tip for the intellectual,
The Moon Is Always Bisexual

[Preston, Moderator]

Books at Smashwords are many,
Including that one written by Bethany.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

[Preston, Moderator]

"...affections of a good man, famous, kind, well-dressed…"
Wrote Bethany, "...All the qualities finessed…"

[Preston, Moderator]

And if you more you want to see,
The Moon Is Always Bisexual is free.

[Roger]

I'm always drawn to things that are free
So I just downloaded Bethany's poetree.