The Language of Flowers

[Tina]

The original discussion has vanished. Sorry.

This is a beautiful book worth discussing. I hope you still read it.

[Tina]

For discussion: Does Victoria deserve forgiveness?

How difficult is it for the other characters in the story to forgive/deny her?

Would you have forgiven her?

[Jasmine]

I LOVED this book and already miss the characters.

In terms of the discussion points:

1. Of course, her actions were done at such a young age she had limited culpability. Her malice intent was only that she wanted Elizabeth to be her mother and she feared the unknown which for her had only once led to something good & true. Also the magnitude of her actions were lost on her as she didn't believe that the fire would be that extensive. In terms of the court proceedings and not negating that Elizabeth hurt her...I saw that only as the manifestation of her guilt.

2. Victoria was written with so much self-loathing and so much brokenness that I felt the only one that didn't/couldn't forgive her was herself. The scene where she and Renata are opening the letter from Elizabeth on the sidewalk and truly reveal the limited perspective that Victoria has about herself and others in terms of what is forgivable. She is so isolated that she doesn't seem to understand the question of worth that we all carry - good or bad.

Up for further discussion:
In college my professors taught me to not read anything about a book or author before cracking the pages, therefore the experience is true to only the content and then go back and read forwards, jackets and review. Upon doing that with this one, I realized how involved the author was with the state of adoption and the current broken system.
How do you believe that effected the story?
Was it contrived from that perspective?
I'm still weighing it in my own mind but look forward to hearing your thoughts.

[Tina]

Jasmine wrote: "I LOVED this book and already miss the characters.

In terms of the discussion points:

1. Of course, her actions were done at such a young age she had limited culpability. Her malice intent was..."

I absolutely believe the author's sensitivity to the subject and its characters has to do with her personal experience. Truthfully, I think that is why the story reads with so much authenticity and tenderness.

I don't think I could ever resist reading a book jacket prior to reading it, but I do like to save the author's profile for last. It probably is true that reading reviews of a book prior to judging it for yourself could influence your experience.

[Tracy]

I really liked this book. I read it a few months ago. I think that Victoria was young and of course should have been forgiven. At least, she took her baby to someone who she thought would take care of her. I was worried about how everyone stopped checking up on her and the new baby a few days after she was born. That seemed wrong to me. Those people knew she didn't have many skills and there is no reason they should have thought she would be a good mom with no role model to follow. I was glad that they all came together and became friends in the end. I think forgiveness is a big part of life and this book.

[Tina]

Tracy wrote: "I really liked this book. I read it a few months ago. I think that Victoria was young and of course should have been forgiven. At least, she took her baby to someone who she thought would take care..."

Thank you for adding your thoughts here, Tracy. I think most of the characters were unaware of her early experiences (how could they know) and that added depth for me. The author's compassion for her character shines through here, because surely one of the biggest challenges for Victoria is trying to be less alone in an world full of adults who didn't grow up the way she did.

[Linda]

My "outside" book group had mixed reactions to this one (I enjoyed it), but one thing we all agreed upon was how interesting it was to learn about the meanings of the different flowers. From a suggestion in one of the group discussion questions in the back of the book, we all put together pretend bouquets for each other, which was quite fun. Who knew that all these years, yellow roses represented jealousy (but also joy, friendship, and lots of other good things, too)? :-)

[Tina]

Linda wrote: "My "outside" book group had mixed reactions to this one (I enjoyed it), but one thing we all agreed upon was how interesting it was to learn about the meanings of the different flowers. From a sug..."

Linda, it is always so interesting to hear the range of experiences different readers can have from the same book. (Whenever I'm sitting with a book club, it's remarkable how much of our own views, tastes, and our ideas about the world at large come into the discussion.) I'm excited to hear your book club read the book together.

[Pearl]

I have not read this novel but there is a fun book Tussie Mussies... By Geraldine Adamich Laufer that gives details on the Victorian era language of flowers. Might be a fun reference.

[Kathy]

Hi everyone. I am new to the group, but I read this book several years ago and developed a love/hate relationship with it. It was very moving, beautifully written and well thought out character placement. However, it left me feeling angry and sad. The social / political context was very real...this is what happens when children are aged out of group homes. The homelessness, the lack of coping or processing skills. For her to find her voice to interpret life through the meaning of flowers was brilliant. Strangely, I had the same emotional reaction to this book as I did to ROOM.

Needless to say it is a book I have recommend & passed along.

[Beverly]

Just got from the library; will be reading soon.

[Tina]

Pearl wrote: "I have not read this novel but there is a fun book Tussie Mussies... By Geraldine Adamich Laufer that gives details on the Victorian era language of flowers. Might be a fun reference."

Pearl, I'm looking that book up now.

[Tina]

Kathy wrote: "Hi everyone. I am new to the group, but I read this book several years ago and developed a love/hate relationship with it. It was very moving, beautifully written and well thought out character p..."

I'm of the opinion that love/hate relationships are some of the most powerful ones. Happy to have you here.

[Tina]

Beverly wrote: "Just got from the library; will be reading soon."

Let us know what you think.

[Beverly]

Really loved this book. Victoria is such a hot mess - that is, she is HUMAN. She makes huge (and very understandable) mistakes in her dealings with others, and yet, despite her flawed background and (perhaps) genes, she IS capable of learning not only to love, but what is harder, to allow herself to BE loved.

I so related to her running away from the baby and falling asleep elsewhere; I didn't do that, but there were sure times I wanted to. And I appreciated the dilemma of those trying to love/help her; at what point does ignoring the stated wishes of someone (in favor of their real needs/body language) go from being loving to being a boundary intrusion? She had the right to make her own mistakes, and allowing her to do so was important, too.

[Tina]

"at what point does ignoring the stated wishes of someone (in favor of their real needs/body language) go from being loving to being a boundary intrusion?"

This is an excellent question. Anyone with struggling family members gets this dilemma.