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Muffin ~I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME~
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Jan 22, 2017 09:12PM
Ashton: *waves* Hiya!! I'm back!!! *giggles*
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Jeremy: *looks like he wants to say a greeting but shuts up staring at the wall instead*Will: *softly talks to him only to get a violent shake of the head in reply* *sighs*
Me: I think I might have Jeremy start a log like me...I basically log in the time and if I was feeling anxious or depressed also what I was thinking about.
Mod
Me: Um, thanks.
Parker: Wait, you're Chinese? I thought you were Filipino.
Thursday: Today is not Chinese New Year. That is tomorrow.
Me: @Parker Nope. I am Chinese, Japanese, and Irish. I think it is supposed to be the year of the rooster.
Brooke: Ah, Parker's spirit animal.
Virginia: If you could be any animal, what would you be?
Brooke: Banyan would be a goat. Or a pig.
Banyan: No, I wouldn't.
Brooke: You eat just about anything.
Banyan: At least, being a goat is a fair answer since I am a satyr.
Mod
Shawna: Don't worry about it.
Thursday: I prefer you around much anyway. When you come on here more, you aggravate me with your problems. I suggest you see a therapist if you need someone to talk to. They at least can help you more and they are paid to listen.
Kendra: Maybe I don't exactly agree with Thursday's reasoning, but I think you should go back to seeing someone. I also have noticed the periods of time that you stay at home and come on here more often tend to be the times you are more depressed-
Brooke: *adds* And b*tchy.
Mod
Me: Is she okay?
Thursday: She is always like that.
Me: *raises an eyebrow* Well, maybe she is always not okay.
Thursday: Possibly.
Kendra: *glances at my arms and her eyes widen* Are you okay? Your eczema has worsened during the last couple weeks.
Me: Just more stressed than usual. Trying to find things to do with my hands when I become stressed, so that I don't scratch.
Kendra: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: *shrugs* Not much to talk about. I just stress out too easily these days.
Kendra: *gives me a look* That's not what your skin is telling me.
Me: *sighs* I am trying to get back to a regular sleeping schedule and figure out what I am doing this semester, so my gap year is not a blank. Also, chamber. It isn't going to work out at the place I usually have chamber rehearsals. Also, my brother has started receiving acceptance letters from colleges, which also makes me stress, because I keep feeling like the longer I wait, the more I might not end up going.
Kendra: *nods sympathetically* What have you been doing to calm yourself down.
Me: Solitaire and shuffling cards to keep my hands busy.
Brooke: Nice.
Mod
Thursday: *rolls eyes* There is one carton of chocolate, two of strawberry, one butter pecan, one green tea, and one red bean. There is also a raspberry cheesecake gelato- although that is not ice cream. How is there no ice cream in the freezer?
Me: But my cherry garcia isn't there.
Thursday: *sighs in exasperation* Just have some water and go out on a walk. That will help with your cramps.
Mod
Me: Terrible. :(
Wescott: I'm sorry to hear that. Bad cramps?
Me: *blushes* Um.... Yeah...
Wescott: Would you like some chocolate?
Virginia: No! It's my chocolate, Wes!
Wescott: But she has bad cramps, Ginger.
Brooke: Sucking up, huh?
Wescott: No, I just-
Brooke: She already likes you.
Me: *blushes harder and touches my cheeks* Sorry. Silly hormones. I felt like beating up every jerk that looked at me on my walk. *sigh* It's not fair. :(
Me: Ohohohohoho I haven't been on in AGES well yeah. Anyway NOT DEAD (at least not inside) just haven't been up for roleplay. Maybe a new character would help....
Mod
Thursday: Do you?
Me: No.
Thursday: So there. Since you do not have plans for Valentine's Day, technically not everyone does.
Me: Right... Except I meant everyone besides me.
Thursday: You should try to be more specific to begin with then.
Me: *shrugs*
Margot: I have plans.
Brooke: With who? Brian?
Margot: *gives her a look* No. He did not ask me, but I would rather not wait on him to ask, so I am going out with someone else for Valentine's Day.
Thursday: Figures.
Brooke: @me So since you aren't being treated by an admirer of yours, what are you going to do today?
Me: Dress up and turn some heads.
Brooke: *smirks* Sounds like something Margot would do.
Me: Where do you think she gets it from?
Brooke: Good point.
Ethan: It's been a while, huh?Me: Sorry. Things have been hectic.
Anuki: What's been going on?
Me: I'm in the middle of the selection process for my career, valentine's day, and I am going to try coaching out.
Anuki: Coaching?
Greg: What sport?
Me: Football, kids ages 7-13
Greg: What experience do you have?
Me: Varsity sophomore year of high school.
Greg: Why not freshmen year?
Tiliad: Not everyone is like you, Greg.
Me: Well, my middle school team and coach didn't exactly get me known in the city so I had to prove myself my freshmen year of high school.
Greg: Good point. At that age, everything is very important. Are you ready to be looked up to as a role model? Are you going to be able to teach the kids the game properly? Do you even have patience for kids?
Anuki: Hey, what's with the interrogation.
Ethan: Greg is passionate about his sports.
Me: Yeah, well I feel ready. The kids won't be the problem. The parents will if anything.
Ethan: How so?
Anuki: Egos.
Brian: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?
Greg: Well I wish you luck in everything you are doing.
Me: Thank you!
Mod
Brooke: Oh, so you are halfway there, considering your mood swings.
Thursday: She used to be much worse. She used to say talk about some very disturbing subjects very graphically and giggle hysterically.
Brooke: Wait, so did you watch the movie yet?
Me: Yeah, about a couple weeks ago.
Kendra: How was it?
Me: I think I must have had a similar reaction to Deadpool as I did to The Barber on Fleet Street.
Kendra: Oh, that was a pretty gory movie.
Brooke: But that's musical though, right? Shouldn't it have been lighter?
Thursday: If by "light," you mean a vengeful barber singing and killing people, who are then turned into meat pies. Then yes, much lighter.
Brooke: Oh. I see your point.
Mod
Me: Now my stomach feels sick.
Brooke: See?
Me: From you guys talking about human meat pies.
Brooke: Oh.
Me: Did you really have to talk about that right after I ate?
Brooke: Sorry. But see? One day, you will miss all our crazy and apparently sickening conversations which you cannot possibly have with anyone else.
Me: I don't think I would miss those types.
Brooke: In all fairness though, I was not the one that brought up the meat pies.
Me: *turns green again*
Thursday: *sighs and rolls eyes*
Kendra: Why don't you have some lemonade or something sour, honey? That would help your stomach.
Mod
Me: *sighs* Yeah, I guess.
Brooke: What happened to her?
Thursday: The other person who was supposed to play chamber music with her this semester bowed out.
Me: So no chamber music this semester, I guess.
Brooke: But that can't be the only reason.
Thursday: Clearly, you do not know her very well.
Margot: But that isn't the only reason.
Me: Well, everything else is the same as always.
Brooke: So you are naturally kind of blue?
Me: No. Just during the last couple weeks.
Kendra: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: *sighs* No. I don't know. I just keep hoping if I go out more and keep busy, the feeling will go away.
Greg: You're starting to become a disappointment. Me: I'm sorry! Things have been so hectic lately!
Ethan: How is everything going?
Me: So far so good.
Ethan: I heard you got into a new game. I also heard you used my brother for it to.
Anuki: What game?!
Me: I rather not say.
Anuki: Why not?
Ethan: Not many people are nice to people that play it.
Anuki: It can't be that bad.
Me: It is.
Anuki: *Crosses arms* Fine.
Ethan: I'm surprised you've even been cutting us off from your real life. That's good.
Me: Yeah, makes me feel normal but I know deep down I miss it.
Ethan: Well take your time with things.
Greg: So you're done here?
Me: Of course not! Like I said, things have been hectic. I know I put you guys at a pause and I'm sorry! Believe me, I love the rp! I love the stories we have going on for you guys. I get so excited just thinking about it, but things are hectic for me right now.
Ethan: Well, like I said, I understand.
Anuki: Yeah, me to.
Greg: Just hurry back yeah?
Me: I'll try.
Kata: heyyyyyyyyyyyyy werrrre back! *makes a peace sign*happy: *giggles and waves* Hi!!!!!
abby: *quietly sits staring at her lap*
denver: ab- *gets cut off*
chloe: Abby you okay?! *stops spinning her knife and walks over*
abby: *frowns and gives chloe an evil glare*
me: hi! i might be getting a ferret!!!
Mod
Thursday: So now that you have no friends to talk to, you have come back here. That sounds familiar.
Me: A very blunt way of putting it, but yes.
Thursday: *sighs* Alright. What is the problem now?
Me: Well, I guess part of the problem is my mood swings this week.
Thursday: And the rest of the problem?
Me: I may have told one friend I liked him...
Brooke: You may have told him? Did you or didn't you?
Me: I did.
Brooke: And? You do realize that you are the one telling us what happened, right?
Me: *sighs* Well, he did what any decent guy would do. He tried to let me down easy, because he is already in a committed relationship.
Kendra: At least, he actually acknowledged you said something, honey. The last guy you admitted you had a crush on to, he never said anything.
Brooke: Guys are such jerks. Why do you even bother with them?
Thursday: Excellent point.
Margot: Well, I think you are better off anyways. You could do a lot better than him.
Brooke: Another good point.
Margot: Honestly though, if a guy is worth it though, his relationship with someone else would not be a problem. You just win him over.
Kendra: Margot! You are not helping her. @me Honey, what I think she is trying to say is *gently* you are pretty, smart, and talented and there are other fish in the sea.
Me: Thanks, Kendra and um... *frowns* Margot.
Brooke: So is there more?
Me: I felt kind of sad at first, but we ended up talking again and I don't know...
Brooke: *gently slips arm around my shoulders* *encouragingly* Sure, you do.
Me: I think I am just confused. He said something that probably lifted my spirits too much.
Kendra: What did he say?
Me: *whispers in her ear*
Kendra: *thoughtfully* Oh... I see the problem.
Brooke: What? What did she say? You have that thoughtful look on your face like you have when you diagnosis a patient.
Kendra: May I?
Me: *nods*
Kendra: *repeats what I said aloud*
Brooke: B*st*rd.
Thursday: Language, Brooke.
Margot: No wonder you are on an emotional rollercoaster. You don't let someone down easy and then say that.
Kendra: *glances at me sympathetically* I didn't tell you, so that you would criticize. He was trying to be nice to her.
Thursday: *sighs* This is what it is. You need to move forward.
Margot: I know some guys that you might like.
Brooke: I know that sort of thing always works for me when I can't be with the person I like. *glances at Kendra*
Me: *sarcasm* Yeah, definitely. Always... Because you still like her.
Thursday: *shakes head* She just needs some space. Not another candidate for the role of the love interest.
Me: Thanks.
Thursday: There was more to your problems, if I am correct.
Me: *sighs* Yeah. I just felt like everyone else was too busy to talk to or just did not care. And hearing about people's dating problems on Facebook and talking to my best friend about her boyfriend makes me feel lower.
Brooke: Which best friend?
Me: Oh... Right. The one from high school. She also has a boyfriend now. And so does the one from Spain.
Brooke: Sounds like they are all busy with college and boyfriends and you are lonely.
Kendra: Aw, honey. Well... Did you ever consider maybe making other friends?
Me: *shrugs* Not really *sighs* Thanks, though, guys.
Thursday: *opens mouth to say anything*
Me: *sighs and smiles a little* Sorry. Girls. Not guys.
Mod
Me: Not goodreads.
Virginia: But you are leaving us. *sadly* Being archived forever.
Parker: But you can't leave me hanging!
Me: Is this odd that Virginia being like this reminds me of Toys Story 2 and Jessie being upset by being put back in boxes.
Wescott: *laughs* Actually, I could definitely see that. Funny, adventurous, redheaded cowgirl? Certainly sounds like my sister.
Thursday: You are diverting us from the point, Jacqueline.
Me: Oh, right. Sorry. I still become distracted very easily.
Thursday: *sighs and then smirks* Whatever are you going to do without us?
Me: I thought you were going to give another lecture. And shouldn't I be the one asking what I was going to do without all of you?
Margot: *laughs* You can always come back, sweetie. You might need to- especially when you need help with learning to put on makeup.
Terrence: What? You finally gave into those society norms?
Me: Tired of people asking all these questions in which they assume my brother is older than me based on my looks and asking me what high school or grade I am in. Yesterday, someone asked me which high schools I was looking at. :(
Brooke: *laughs* You think too much about those things.
Me: Well, these days, I could afford to put some effort in my appearance. Makes me feel better and every time, someone asks me about college/school and age, I feel guilty, depressed, and anxious. Sets me back and then none of my plans work out- which gives me more reason to be upset.
Thursday: *sighs* This always seems to turn into a therapy session for you.
Me: Sorry.
Kendra: That's okay. You need to be able to talk to someone about what bothers you.
Brooke: Or just write it down on Goodreads in the form of talking to different characters- that represent aspects of your mind and basically meaning that you probably have some type of personality disorder.
Kendra: *elbows Brooke in the arm* So what is supposed to happen to our roleplays?
Brooke: Worried that you won't be able to finish that third date with him and bring him back to your cabin?
Kendra: *blushes a little*
Shawna: @me Well, Jacqueline? You did not answer the question yet.
Everyone: *returns attention to me*
Brooke: She seems more bothered by this than she would usually be.
Margot: I don't know... But I did see her hanging around Illias more often.
Shawna: *blushes* What? No. We are just friends and I am just helping him find his brother.
Brooke: Yeah? Then, why are you blushing?
Shawna: *blushes harder* I am not!
Me: Okay. Relax. Brooke, stop pushing Shawna's buttons before she strangles you. Shawna, sit down and relax.
Brooke: You make us sound like children.
Me: Well, all of you always seem to manage fight and bicker all the time. If you act like children, then you will be treated like children. I guess I will have to leave Thursday to keep everyone in order.
Margot: Wait. Why is she in charge?
Roxanne: Can I decapitate anyone who misbehaves?
Me: Please no more arguing. And Roxanne, no. No decapitations, no severing of body parts.
Thursday: *clears throat* Roleplays?
Me: Oh, right. Um... I don't know honestly. I would love to give all of you happy endings, but I cannot unless the other people I have been roleplaying with in this group agree. Well, on top of that, giving all of you happy endings isn't really realistic for demigods in this world or even in the mortal world I live in.
Illyana: Jacqueline...? What will happen to me? I still never found out what my prophecy means.
Me: How about we talk about it later?
Illyana: *nods*
Brooke: So I guess this is good-bye.
Me: Yeah. I suppose.
Brooke: *gives me a look*
Me: What?
Brooke: You could have at least brought Kendra and me back together.
Me: *sighs and laughs* No, doesn't work that way.
Brooke: *sighs* Okay.
Me: *laughs* Come here and give me a hug. *hugs Brooke* I will really miss you guys. *hugs everyone one by one*
Mod
Me: *sighs* I don't have any friends right now to talk to, so I ended up talking to myself. I suddenly remember why I avoided going outside on walks alone and talking to myself for a year. I used to make myself cry, and now, I am driving myself crazy!
Brooke: *sarcasm* And, of course, talking to us makes you more sane. Talking to yourself is fine. Talking to yourself, giving the different voices in your head names, is not so normal.
Me: Thursday?
Thursday: *shrugs* She is right.
Me: *sighs* I just need to talk to someone. Okay?
Thursday: Jacqueline, we do not count as someone. Any advice we give you is whatever solutions you come up with.
Me: *sighs in frustration* Why do you always have to be so difficult, Thursday?
Thursday: Because I am right and you know that I am.
Me: *sighs and then laughs* You are such a snob, Thursday.
Thursday: *offers me a half smile* I must have picked that up from you. *pauses* Do not fret. If you ever feel like you need to, you can come back and talk to us. Alright?
Me: *laughs* Are you turning soft on me?
Thursday: *rolls eyes but smiles* Not at all. *more seriously* Just do whatever you need to do.
Ethan: So... guys... Ben is continuing his short story and adding us in there!Greg: What?! Am I going to be your main character?!
Brian: No! I am obviously!
Me: Guys, guys wait. I am working on it, hopefully I can make it a series.
Anuki: Gee, how long are you planning on making this "short story?"
Me: I'm hoping to make them books, I'm just having difficulties. I know all the plots and stuff, basically all the big things, but the small things are the hard parts for me. Conversations and things are the hardest parts for me. Anyways, you guys will be in it BUT you won't be in the exact same roles as you guys are now.
Sebastian: What does that mean?
Me: Like, for example, Ethan won't be Anukis' brother in the short story because it isn't like based on this world. It is based on a fantasy type world. It's still about mythology, just with a better twist to it.
Anuki: Sounds great! Who are your main characters?
Me: Three main characters, only one of you guys are one... at least for the first "book."
Eradion: I can guess.
Ethan: We all know who it is.
*Everyone looks at Anuki*
Anuki: Well what's better than having me throughout the whole series? Nothing!
Me: Sorry guys.
Ethan: Well, we will be pretty cool right?
Me: All you guys will be crucial to the overall story I promise.
Ethan: Does that mean you're coming back to goodreads? Since you came on here to get better at writing?
Me: I will try guys I promise! Don't worry, I won't let you guys go. A couple more days and I should, hopefully, not be so busy and I can come back here. I know all of you guys are in very important parts of your stories' right now.
Greg: Thank the gods!
Sebastian: Hurry back please.
Me: I will try you guys!
Mod
Me: A semi-hiatus. I also said that the break was for roleplaying in the threads.
Brooke: But you-
Me: Shhhh...
Brooke: Fine.
Kendra: You seem to be in a better mood today.
Me: Yeah, well, still early to be saying that, but I determined the real cause of my "anxiety and depression" episodes recently with some help.
Kendra: A therapist?
Me: No, someone who knows me better.
Thursday: Her mother.
Brooke: *laughs*
Margot: You talk to your mother about guys and friends and your worries?
Me: Yes, not all the details usually though. As for guys... Talking about them takes me a while, but she can normally tell before I even admit I like them.
Virginia: Do you ever talk to her about us?
Me: *laughs* Once in a while.
Thursday: Back to your point, Jacqueline.
Me: Ah, yes. I had those episodes for the silliest reason ever.
Thursday: You were questioning your self-worth and worrying about your self-image.
Margot: Over that guy, right?
Me: As I said, pretty stupid reason.
Margot: Hardly.
Me: *offers half smile* Thanks, Margot.
Kendra: So why are you in a good mood now?
Me: Because I realized that I am going to fine. I was starting to think before that maybe I should... Um, you know, save everyone the trouble of putting up with me, because I probably was not going to make it in the world anyway.
Kendra: *eyes widen* Oh gods! You were thinking about...
Me: Um, yeah.
Kendra: *smacks my arm* Don't you dare think of that again. I won't have another friend in rehab.
Me: *rubs my arm defensively* You only go to rehab if the attempt fails.
Parker: What? Wait. What are they talking about?
Thursday: A seven-letter word that starts with s and ends with e.
Parker: Why are you talking in crossword puzzle problems? Why don't you just tell me what they are talking about? Can't be that big of a deal.
Me: @Parker It isn't a big deal.
Kendra: @me Yes, it is! Ending your life is a big deal.
Brooke: @Parker The word is suicide, dumb*ss.
Me: You make a bigger deal out of it than it is. I think we all know I would never be able to follow through with it. I am too much of a coward.
Kendra: *expression softens* *gently* Not if you are strong enough to realize deep down that there are other things to live for and pick yourself up again.
Me: *glances up at Kendra* Really?
Kendra: *hugs me* Yes, honey.
Brooke: Is it just me or does anyone see the irony in-
Me: Not now, Brooke.
Brooke: *a little awkwardly* Right.
Mod
Me: I don't normally like watching romantic comedies that much. I usually watch comedy or action movies. Oh, also Pixar movies.
Parker: Kiddie movies.
Me: *shrugs* All of these movie remakes don't have the same feel as the old ones. @Brooke Also, I didn't watch romantic comedies the couple nights. I watched Grave of the Fireflies and Inglorious Bastards. The first one is a really sad anime movie about these two orphans during and after World War II. The second, well, is a Quentin Tarantino movie- which means a lot of humor and violence.
Margot: And night before, she watched Emma. Jane Austen must have come across a few children of Eros in her time, because she writes about these situations so well.
Me: The actress who plays the main character in that movie also plays your namesake from The Royal Tenenbaums.
Margot: The Royal Tenenbaums?
Thursday: The movie is about this family of prodigies who go through failure and depression. In other words, the movie is depressing.
Brooke: You watch a lot of depressing movies, Jacqueline.
Thursday: There was even a scene with a suicide attempt.
Me: *sighs* Anyway, Margot Tenenbaum- Margot's namesake- is the adopted daughter, middle child, and playwright.
Thursday: The two of them are nothing alike. Her namesake is depressed and secretive. Well, maybe except for both of their track records of fooling around with guys and their blond hair.
Me: I never said they were exactly alike. I just liked the name
Kendra: So what are you going to watch next?
Virginia: Ooh! Let's watch Toys Story 2.
Me: You only watch that because of Jessie.
Brooke: Alright. So what do you want to watch next?
Me: Hm... Maybe Sweeney Todd, Buster Keaton, Amelie, The Royal Tenenbaums or some opera.
Brooke: Damn. What different movies!
Mod
Thursday: Well, the moderators are not very active and the people you used to roleplay with are all busy. On top of that, people keep yelling at each other-
Brooke: And acting st*p*d.
Thursday: That was not what I was going to say.
Brooke: But that was what you meant.
Thursday: I was actually going to say that people are not reading the rules and lack creativity and detail in their writing.
Brooke: You are such a snob.
Thursday: *raises an eyebrow* And saying "people are acting st*p*d" is better?
Brooke: No. You are twisting my words.
Me: Thursday. Brooke. Relax, okay?
Mod
Brooke: *laughs* Morning?
Thursday: You are aware that the time is almost two in the afternoon, right?
Me: Mhm...
Thursday: Your sleeping schedule is completely thrown off. You usually wake up about nine.
Me: Mm, sorry.
Thursday: You do not look very sorry.
Me: *shrugs*
Kendra: What happened?
Brooke: Must have been something worthwhile. Did you finally stay out late and party?
Me: *laughs* No. I stayed up the other night to talk to a friend, but I woke up at a semi-normal time yesterday.
Brooke: Well, that seems silly. You can do that during the day.
Me: Not a regular conservation. They are always busy.
Kendra: Yes, well, honey, you are supposed to be busy sleeping at that time of the night. Make sure you go to bed earlier.
Thursday: Nothing is ever done when you sleep half the day away.
Me: Yeah, you are right, but it was still worth it.
Mod
Brooke: *laughs* Hyper on what?
Virginia: You ate too much chocolate, didn't you? And why didn't you offer me any? Wait a second... *narrows eyes* Have you been taking from my stash?
Me: @Thursday *laughs* Sorry. @Virginia I didn't! I swear!
Thursday: You do not sound very sorry.
Brooke: Stash of what? Wait! You don't have...?
Kendra: Brooke!
Virginia: What? What do you mean? @Kendra What does she mean?
Shawna: She means... *tells Virginia*
Virginia: Oh... No, I meant chocolate.
Brooke: That's too bad. @me Wait. So what were you on?
Me: Nothing! I was just in a really good mood after rollerskating.
Brooke: *slowly* Oh, really...? You are almost never in this good mood.
Me: You guys don't believe me?
Brooke: Nope.
Kendra: : I believe you.
Shawna: Yeah. Only skating and exercise can give you that type of rush.
Me: Thank you. Thursday?
Thursday: Just try not to be so out there please. Not everyone appreciates that and you always end up falling into a worse mood than normal.
Me: *sighs* Fine.
Mod
Everyone: No, not really.
Thursday: You were here last week.
Me: Yeah.
Kendra: Something wrong, honey? You look like you have something on your mind.
Thursday: Something is always wrong with her.
Kendra: Shush, Thursday. Go on, Jacqueline.
Me: Do you think I am too old to be roleplaying on here?
Virginia: How old are you?
Me: I am turning nineteen this month.
Shawna: So you are still eighteen.
Brooke: Don't be silly! It's like video games. You just get better at playing and maybe move on to a more advanced or mature game. No one is too old for video games.
Thursday: What a terrible example, Brooke. She does not play video games.
Brooke: *shrugs* Probably the same thing applies to sports.
Shawna: She is right about sports.
Kendra: Although, in that case, most mortals do that for fun on the side when they grow up. @me Honey, you are not too old. There are other people in this group who are your age or older. This is a matter of whether or not this is good for you to continue-
Brooke: Or whether you want to continue.
Thursday: This decision should really be easy. She talks to us in her head. She even admits that when she does not talk to us- or at least, assign our personalities to her thoughts- she has trouble telling which thoughts and feelings to listen to and which to ignore. She even started seeing people that were not even there.
Kendra: Really?
Me: *sighs* The last part could happen to anyone.
Thursday: You think you see things that are not there all the time. In fact, that has been getting worse. Car crashes, dead pests, people waiting for you. You used to even be able to imagine dying.
Kendra: That is not a good sign for mortals to see those types of things. Especially since there are no gods or magic in your world.
Brooke: Well, you never know. Maybe she really is a granddaughter of Hades or maybe she is actually a daughter of the goddess Melinoe.
Kendra: The goddess of ghosts?
Thursday: Brooke, that would still make her a granddaughter of Hades, Brooke. Melinoe is the daughter of the Lord of the Underworld and his queen Persephone.
Kendra: She could also be a daughter of Mania, goddess of madness.
Me: I am still here, guys.
Kendra: Ah, yes. Hm, maybe you should stop. Can't be good for you if that is the case. But, honey. You seem more serious about considering leaving. What has changed?
Me: *sighs* Well, I probably would have stopped before I started roleplaying with my friend here. He was a big reason I stayed for another half year or so. The reason I started thinking about this more seriously is because, well, I am finding there are fewer and fewer people active on here that I would want to roleplay with and my friend has not posted in about a month now. Lol And as I said already... My birthday is coming up and all of these new members seem to be much younger than me. Lol Another reason is... Well, I was thinking that if I stay, I might decide to ask to be made a mod to help clean up the group and keep some order since the mods have not been as active.
Everyone:.....
Brooke: She did say what I think she said, right?
Thursday: *frowns* Yes, she did.
Brooke: Then, you should make your title "Jacqueline, Daughter of Melinoe." Or Mania.
Kendra: I think she should keep her title as a granddaughter of Apollo and Hades, because my father is a big part of her talents in music and poetry. If she does decide to stay and become a mod, of course.
Margot: I recommend that we have more holiday dances and festivities.
Brooke: Yeah, with something decent to drink at them. Not that silly punch.
Me: *laughs* I am terrible at organizing those types of things. And, Brooke, no, I told you before. No alcoholic drinks in camp.
Margot: Well, I could help you.
Me: Okay, okay, guys. Just settle down for now. There is one more thing that I need to talk to you about. *pauses* Okay, well... *sighs* If I stay, I might decide to create new characters.
Brooke:....You mean to replace us....
Me: *looks down and then nods*
Brooke: *softly* Bullsh*t. *louder* That is bullsh*t!
Thursday: Brooke. Language. I think we all knew this was going to come sooner or later.
Me: I'm sorry.
Thursday: *small smile* I am not. Retirement as your make-shift therapist/analyst and advisor? Sounds perfectly fine to me.
Kendra: That's okay, honey. Like Thursday said, this was bound to become something to consider. We were made to be crutch for you until you were able to walk again on your own.
Me: *smiles* You really should try poetry.
Kendra: *scrunches up nose* Mm, I don't think so. *then smiles* Poetry isn't my thing. Let us know when you decide?
Me: Of course.
Mod
Me: *shrugs* Yeah, I guess. Trying to learn to let go.
Thursday: *studies me* Good, because your some of your hair has been growing in white.
Brooke: *laughs* What are you? Rogue from the X-men?
Me: *shrugs* No, I think that would be cool though. I like her Southern accent.
Brooke: *laughs* If mutants were real, I would go with her. She is feisty and pretty.
Thursday: You mean she is a southern belle.
Margot: Now that I think of it, Brooke is a bit like that Cajun guy who is one of Rogue's romantic interests.
Me: You mean Gambit.
Margot: *sighs* Not everyone is a comic book geek like you.
Me: *shrugs*
Brooke: Yeah? You look like a blonde Hawkgirl when you fly with your maces.
Me: And Illyana reminds me of the mutant Wolfsbane.
Margot: So there is a mutant who turns into a wolf when throwing a temper tantrum.
Me: Mm, yeah.
Thursday: Do not do that.
Me: What?
Thursday: Pick up the talking habits of your friends. Don't.
Me: Oh. Right. Sorry. @Brooke So, Brooke...
Brooke: Oh, no. Please tell me you are not trying to set me up with someone.
Me: Okay... I am not trying to set you up with someone.
Brooke: That isn't funny, Jacqueline.
Me: *shrugs* Okay, then. *more seriously* Why don't you tell me who you would want to go out with?
Brooke: Hm... Maybe a daughter of Hephaestus.
Me: A daughter of Hephaestus???
Brooke: Yeah. I haven't dated one before-
Me: Because Hephaestus rarely has daughters.
Brooke: *shrugs* And girls who know how to work in the forge and fix things are hot.
Me: You really don't make this easy.
Brooke: You could always try giving up...?
Me: *sighs* Anyone else?
Brooke: A bookish girl, so maybe a daughter of Athena? Oh, I know! How about a daughter of Hermes?
Margot: I think Virginia is single.
Brooke: *shrugs* Maybe. I kind of like taller girls though. Hm... How about Illyana? Is she free now?
Me: No, she has two relationships already.
Brooke: Yeah, okay. Shawna?
Shawna: I am right here and I am still straight.
Brooke: Well, I am not against girls who want to experiment.
Shawna: *shakes head*
Brooke: Thursday?
Thursday:........
Margot: *bursts out laughing*
Thursday: Brooke, the two of us would be completely incompatible and drive each other insane.
Brooke: Okay, okay. You could have just said you didn't like me.
Margot: Wait. How is Thursday on your list and I am not? No one likes Thursday.
Kendra: Margot, don't talk like that.
Brooke: Not true. I like her. And... You kind of aren't my type.
Margot: *gives her a look* You don't have a type.
Brooke: *shrugs* Well, I know who isn't my type.
Margot: *studies her*
Brooke: Look. This shouldn't matter to you. You don't even like me. The two of us barely even friends.
Thursday: No, she just cannot stand me being preferred over her.
Kira(daughter of Hades):*Walks over to a group of people including the guy from Ares cabin who tackled her* Hey, um are these your friends Sylvia?
Sylvia(daughter of Aphrodite) : YES THEY ARE YOUR, HERE NEW GIRL!
Ajax(Son of Ares/aka the guy who almost killed Kira in "Defense"): Oh it's you...
Sam:( Son of Zeus)*elbows Ajax* Don't be a jerk Ajax we all know what happened with you two
Kira&Ajax: NOTHING HAPPENED!
Sam: FINE! IT WAS JUST A JOKE please don't kill me...
*Dylan(daughter of Nyx) and Chance (Son of Apollo) walked in to save Sam*
Dylan: WHOOAAAA hold your eight-legged horses
Chance: Wrong legend
Dylan: Shut up C nobody asked you
Sylvia: HAHAHA!
Sam: Help me *still being threatened by Ajax and Kira*
Ajax: Take it back you dimwit...
Kira: Or else I'll send you to the under world...
Sam: Do you even know how to do that
Kira: Truth be told no. I do know how to stick someone underground though...*Large cracks appeared under his feet as an example*
Sam: Point taken
Dylan: Whoa now were all half-bloods here we shouldn't be trying to kill each other.
Chance: Yea, ay new girl have you been to the grove yet.
Kira: Uh no...
Ajax: It's very pretty there at night *He looked at Nyx*
Sylvia: Maybe Ajax and Kira should go ahead.
Ajax: UH HADES NO
Kira: Shut up and lets go
Ajax:Fine.*Glares at Sylvia* I'm getting you back
Sylvia:*Pretends to act innocent* Who me?
*Ajax and Kira walk off weapons in hand*
*After a few moments...*
Dylan: We're gonna follow them right?
Chance: Yea, she can't die her second day of camp.
Sylvia: SECOND DAY!*She exclaimed*WE HAVE TO RUN NOW!
Sylvia(daughter of Aphrodite) : YES THEY ARE YOUR, HERE NEW GIRL!
Ajax(Son of Ares/aka the guy who almost killed Kira in "Defense"): Oh it's you...
Sam:( Son of Zeus)*elbows Ajax* Don't be a jerk Ajax we all know what happened with you two
Kira&Ajax: NOTHING HAPPENED!
Sam: FINE! IT WAS JUST A JOKE please don't kill me...
*Dylan(daughter of Nyx) and Chance (Son of Apollo) walked in to save Sam*
Dylan: WHOOAAAA hold your eight-legged horses
Chance: Wrong legend
Dylan: Shut up C nobody asked you
Sylvia: HAHAHA!
Sam: Help me *still being threatened by Ajax and Kira*
Ajax: Take it back you dimwit...
Kira: Or else I'll send you to the under world...
Sam: Do you even know how to do that
Kira: Truth be told no. I do know how to stick someone underground though...*Large cracks appeared under his feet as an example*
Sam: Point taken
Dylan: Whoa now were all half-bloods here we shouldn't be trying to kill each other.
Chance: Yea, ay new girl have you been to the grove yet.
Kira: Uh no...
Ajax: It's very pretty there at night *He looked at Nyx*
Sylvia: Maybe Ajax and Kira should go ahead.
Ajax: UH HADES NO
Kira: Shut up and lets go
Ajax:Fine.*Glares at Sylvia* I'm getting you back
Sylvia:*Pretends to act innocent* Who me?
*Ajax and Kira walk off weapons in hand*
*After a few moments...*
Dylan: We're gonna follow them right?
Chance: Yea, she can't die her second day of camp.
Sylvia: SECOND DAY!*She exclaimed*WE HAVE TO RUN NOW!
Me: Um...hi? Not dead? Might get back into roleplaying? No sure.... Maybe a character reset is needed.
Cori: Sup guys!Alex: Hi Cori. Want to go swimming?
Cori: Sure!
Mod
Kendra: This isn't like you at all.
Brooke: Do the words "don't be a b*tch" mean nothing to you?
Me: Hard not to be something that you are.
Kendra: But you aren't one.
Thursday: She can be.
Me: See?
Thursday: But that does not mean you are one all the time. You usually can keep those insulting remarks to yourself.
Brooke: In all fairness, the place was meant to be a place to vent, so there is always a possibility someone might be angry. Honestly, that person should have known that might not be a time to pick a fight or be insensitive.
Me: *sighs* Kind of was my fault. I already had a breakdown today and the friend I was confiding in didn't seem to understand, so I shut her out too. I was not necessarily looking for a fight, but... *shrugs* *pauses* I could have said some worse things, which might have led to one. *sighs* I really have been a b*tch during the last week.
Kendra: Try to relax, okay? The whole reason you keep acting like this is because you are feeling all those negative emotions and they need to be dispelled in some way.
Brooke: And try talking to real people.
Thursday: That does not mean us.
Me: *sighs* Yeah, okay.
Mod
Me: Yeah, I know.
Kendra: You look a little sad. Something wrong?
Me: *offers a half-hearted smile* There usually tends to be. *pauses* But actually I am feeling better compared to the last time I talked to you guys on here.
Kendra: *studies me* What changed?
Me: I walked out.
Kendra: But you still miss him.
Me: *sighs* Yeah, of course. *pauses* I think I will for a while. *takes a breath* But the situation was always going to be messy, given what he had gone through as well as what I had.
Brooke: It sounds like you are still defending him.
Me: Yeah, well, I am not always so sure that he was at fault.
Brooke: *sarcastically* So you are saying that those that shared with him magically disappeared on their own.
Kendra: And that things like video games are more important than answering when something is wrong.
Me: In all fairness, I never made it clear that there was something wrong.
Brooke: There you go again! Defending him.
Me: *sighs and looks away*
Kendra: *places hand over both mine* *gently reprimanding* Honey, you should have more self-respect than that. If he cared enough, he would have chosen to put in the time and effort. And he would probably have been able to tell a little better that something was wrong by the way you would give up on talking to him and even by the abrupt way you said goodbye.
Me: Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just showed I cared too much and maybe that repelled him?
Kendra: *gives Thursday a look, warning her not to say anything* *looks back at me* It shouldn't have.
Thursday: Maybe scared him.
Kendra: But not enough to push you away like that.
Brooke: *scoffs* He is a guy who was hurt by someone else and probably a couple other girls before that. He wasn't likely to jump into something.
Me: Yeah, I should have known better...
Brooke: *scoffs* He should have known better too. He is older than you, isn't he? He has been in a couple relationships with a living person before, right?
Me: Yes...
Brooke: How many relationships have you been in that you would know better from?
Me: *doesn't answer*
Brooke: Exactly! None!
Me: *sighs* You make too much of it. *interrupts her before she can say anything else* *softly* Shut up, Brooke. *sighs* It doesn't matter anymore.
Everyone: *short silence*
Kendra: So. What have you done since then to try to get over him?
Me: Well, I thought about trying to see other people casually. Not just a passing thought.
Kendra: That's good.
Me: I guess. If I would be capable of keeping it casual. I already know I can't handle something serious right now.
Thursday: You won't be able to handle it.
Me: How do you know?
Thursday: Because I know you. You won't be intimate with someone that you have no intention of really committing to fully. You can't even manage small talk. You don't flirt or date. You don't put yourself out there. It takes you a long time to admit to yourself that you like someone and, as soon as you do, you don't really notice anyone else.
Me: *doesn't answer*
Brooke: @Thursday You really do know how to dampen the mood.
Thursday: I am just saying what I know.
Brooke: Don't listen to her.
Kendra: If you don't try, it might take longer for you to get over him. *more cheerfully* So who are you looking into now?
Me: Well... One of my friends offered to set me up with her close friend. I met her-
Brooke: Ah... So it's a girl...
Me: *laughs lightly* Yes, she is a girl.
Brooke: And? Was she blonde or Asian? Glasses? Tall?
Me: *laughs* That is your type.
Brooke: Eh, I don't really have a type. So?
Me: She is blonde.
Brooke: Nice.
Me: *shakes head and smiles* She is shorter than me.
Brooke: Okay, not so nice.
Me: *glances at her smugly* You do have a type.
Brooke: Okay, yeah, I like taller girls and I like long legs. Continue.
Margot: What is so wrong with short girls? Plenty of Asian girls are also short, Brooke.
Brooke: Asian girls are cute. Especially when they are shy or reserved or bookish. I would definitely make an exception for someone like that. But anyway... *redirects her attention to me* What else?
Me: She is does some type of kickboxing. She likes to knit and she is a fashion major.
Kendra: And she isn't for you.
Me: How can you tell?
Kendra: Well, you don't have that giddy light or that fond gentleness to your eyes when you talk about her.
Me: *smiles a little* And then...
Kendra: Oh? There is another girl?
Me: *laughs*
Kendra: Okay, so you have met someone you like.
Me: Actually, I went to school with her.
Kendra: Wait, this isn't...?
Me: No. No, it's not her. Oddly enough, though, they have the same name- just spelled a little differently.
Brooke: Okay. So what is she like?
Me: *smiles* Pretty, tall, amazing smile, gorgeous eyes... Long, dark hair...
Kendra: *satisfied smile* So have you talked to her?
Me: Yeah. Actually, she has messaged me first a few times.
Kendra: *laughs* That's great.
Brooke: So what is her background?
Me: She is Hispanic.
Brooke: Another Hispanic crush.
Me: Why? Is something wrong with that?
Brooke: No. You just seem to have a thing for Hispanic guys and girls.
Me: *shrugs* I notice people of other ethnic backgrounds too. Actually, the only one I don't really care too much for is my own.
Brooke: Eurasian, right?
Me: Yep. Or Southeast Asian.
Brooke: Well, she has my stamp of approval.
Me: *laughs* I don't think it takes much to have yours- especially when the person is a girl- but thanks all the same.
((This is beautiful. It gives me insperation.😊))
Jack: Hey guysAlex: Jack!!
Jack: Hey lil sis *smiles*
Me: OMGOMGOMG HI IM NOT DEAD IM JUST LOST MY PASSWORD HECCAll my characters: What the fuc-
Me: I'm making new babies, you guys are gonna be archived.
All my characters: SHADOW WAI-
Me: C:<
Mod
Mod
Mod
Mod
Me: I am okay. I haven't been very active lately either honestly. I have thought about going back to roleplaying, but I am not sure how realistic that would be.
Me: Hello! I'm Macaroonie and this is Basil!Basil: -waves- -softly- Hello....
Me: Hey guysAlex: Hey!!
Jack: Hi everyone
Me: So this place is kinda inactive :/Basil: I suppose...
Me: it is.Jack: so what's up everyone?
Me: oh hi everyoneAlex: hi
Jack: hello
Kassidy (When she was new): Is this the Hermes cabin?Me: Nope, keep looking, it should be down four to the left.
Kassidy:Okay. *Walks out*
Everyone else: *Laughs* This is the Hermes cabin. (Once she left)
Me: I know! :P
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