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Vivian's New Start
message 151:
by
Ji Mei , The Meticulous Secretary
(last edited Jul 01, 2013 07:11PM)
(new)
Jul 01, 2013 07:11PM
Joeri went to stand in her doorway. "Should I sleep in another room?" he asked, uncertain if she wanted him to follow. He didn't think it would be a good idea if he even shared the room.
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Vivian was sitting up in bed, and she drew her knees up to her chest. One look at him told her that he was hesitant - but it couldn't just be about sleeping in the same bed as her, could it? She looked at him and gave him a bit of a shrug. "It's up to you I guess. I don't mind if you stay here, but if you don't want to..."
He shook his head and smiled apologetically. "I'm a bad sleeper, so I don't want to disturb you," Joeri said truthfully.
Vivian arched an eyebrow at him. "You didn't disturb me the last time," she said, referring to the night at the Grand Hotel.
He tilted his head as he considered. Then Joeri gave a small nod. "You're right," he admitted, going to sit on the edge of the bed. "Sorry for acting strange," he added.
Even in just moonlight filtering through the curtains over the glass doors, Vivian could make out his face perfectly. She smiled, scooting to the other side of the bed and kneeling behind him momentarily to give him a hug from behind.Resting her chin on his shoulder, she said, "I'm so happy you told Bert, Joeri."
Placing his hands over hers, he closed his eyes, wishing that the night would be peaceful. "Me too," he replied. "At first I thought he was angry when I mentioned the Rising, but he was just surprised and wanted a chat alone in the parlour."
Vivian smiled. "Bert's great like that. For chats, I mean," she said, dropping a kiss on the side of his neck near the hinge of his jaw.She puled away and stretched out flat on the bed, settling down comfortably on the fluffy pillows. She reached out with her good hand and rubbed his back comfortingly. "Come on, then."
Letting his shoulders relax, Joeri laid down next to her. He turned to face her and smiled. "You are great for chats as well," Joeri replied.
"Surprisingly, it's not a talent that runs in the whole family," Vivian said, tapping his nose once with her fingertip. "Bert and Ben are usually good to talk to but nobody else knows how to communicate properly."She scrunched up her nose at him and added, "Am I good to talk to? I feel like I'm always whining to you about problems."
He twirled one of her locks between his fingers. "Indeed you are. Remember? I'm an automaton when it comes to talks and chats," Joeri replied.
She smiled at him, tracing his jaw with her real fingertips. "You don't seem like an automaton anymore," she told him honestly. "You never really did." Dropping a kiss on his forehead, Vivian added softly, "Are you truly happy with me, Joeri?"
"I couldn't be happier, Vivian," he said softly, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight.
"Want to know how I know you're happy?" Vivian asked teasingly. When Joeri nodded, she said, "Your eyes sparkle, like a gemstone would." She laughed and added, "I can't come up with any better comparison. Pretty stones are all I know."She snuggled a bit closer to him and smiled. "But I do know I've never been happier before."
He curled his body closer, a small smile on his face. "I'm glad you can tell. Sometimes my words will fail me," Joeri said softly.
"There's always Shakespeare," Vivian joked, happy to have him near. "Did you have a good day with the boys, then?" she asked, remembering him mentioning he'd gone riding with her brother and nephews. "I didn't even know you were planning on visiting them. I'm kind of jealous." She said the last part teasingly, dropping a kiss on his nose.
Joeri mmm-ed in answer and kissing her forehead. "I did. It was a spur of the moment and I have to say that they're probably the best nephews a person could have."
"Aren't they?" Vivian laughed. "I'm glad they like you so much. They'll be sending you strange presents in the post soon enough."She gave him a soft kiss before turning around, curling up with her back against his chest and pulling his arm around her. She entwined their fingers with his and said sleepily, "Thank you for staying tonight."
He felt his eyes grow heavy, and he closed them. "Any time you need me, I'll be there for you," Joeri said gently.
"I know...and I love you for it." They fell asleep soon after that, but even with Joeri next to her, Vivian didn't sleep as deeply as she normally did. But it was a peaceful sleep.
***END OF SCENE***
The dreams began as they always did. Joeri was sixteen again and Anne just turned fourteen. He was teaching her something Father showed him, sitting outside on a bench in front of their shop. The sun was shining and Anne was laughing brightly as he made a joke, though he couldn't remember what he said. He smiled over to her and then he saw her face transform into a look of terror and suddenly, he wasn't home. A rumbling was beneath his feet, a roar followed, then there was a high whining pitch in his ears as he felt his side scorch away. Pluming smoke, dust, and dirt surrounded him and he saw men around him fall, silently scream, and some of them not complete. Joeri laid there gasping and a hot white light shone above him.
Lying on the table, his teeth biting down, he screamed, his arm burning, tearing, parting. Then his scream mingled with the others, all lying in beds in a room that seemed infinite, the darkness above growing larger, the horrified, bloodied faces crossing his vision.
Vivian woke from her light sleep with a start. Someone had cried out. As she sat up in bed, Joeri's flailing arm nearly clocked the side of her head - she ducked just in time and turned to him. He cried out at something she couldn't see, his body thrashing on the bed next to her, his back arching as he screamed. His legs kicked and his arms tangled the sheets around him, his hands gripping them until his knuckles were white. Vivian's enhanced eyesight could see the look on Joeri's face - contorted, folded, creased with pain and horror.
All of this processed in a matter of seconds. "Joeri!" she yelled, kneeling over him and trying desperately to calm him in his night terror. "Joeri!"
Her machinated arm was barely strong enough to pin him down, and he thrashed under her even more violently.
"Joeri!"
His eyes flew open at her voice and immediately he went limp like a rag doll. He was breathing heavily and a bead of sweat ran down his temple. Blinking a few times, the images faded away and he was staring into darkness up at Vivian's face. "Vivian?" he whispered, his voice surprisingly small.
She hauled him upright and pulled his shirt off him, ignoring his weak protests. "You're soaked through. You'll catch a chill," Vivian told him, her voice surprisingly calm. She disappeared for a minute, using the water from her washstand to soak his shirt and wring it out before hanging it up to drip-dry over the basin. Vivian returned with two towels, a dry one and one wrung out to dampness. She used the damp one first, gently sponging off his sweat-soaked skin, before drying him off with the other towel. When she was done, she set the towels aside and got back into bed, sitting upright agains the headboard before pulling him into her arms and holding him close. Joeri was trembling violently.
She dropped a kiss on his damp brow. "What was it?" she asked softly.
"Just a dream," he said after his breath slowed down back to normal. Joeri attempted to smile up at her. "I told you I was a bad sleeper."
Vivian ran her fingers through his hair, caressing his forehead with her real fingers as her machinated arm held him close. "It wasn't just a dream," she said firmly, but her voice was just above a whisper. "Tell me, Joeri. Please."
Breathing out slowly through his nose, Joeri focused his eyes on her, refusing to let the memories crowd his mind again. "I have this dream every night ever since I lost my arm. It begins with me and Anne at the shop. I show her something and we laugh," he began. Then he was quiet, the memories coming to him anyways. "Then, I'm there at the Rising. The explosion, people dying and screaming around me. Their faces are always burned in my mind. After that, I'm in the hospital, my arm amputated, and people around me are suffering," Joeri continued, dying down the terror a bit.
Vivian pressed her cheek against the top of his head, her heart aching for him. "Oh, Joeri..."Her real fingers carefully massaged at the tension in his neck; the action was absentminded on her part. She just felt the tension in his entire body and she wanted to do what she could to make it go away.
She looked down at his face - pale, drawn, afraid despite calming down. Vivian nuzzled his forehead and cheeks, murmuring soft sounds of comfort to him as she held him tightly.
"You're here with me. It's safe here," she said softly, her voice strained from holding back tears for him.
"I know. I know. They just-they just never stop," Joeri whispered, his jaw clenching as he tried to blink away the lingering images. He never had a night without dreams and it was only recently that he noticed that was why the innkeeper moved him a room so far from the other guests. He scared them and the innkeeper pitied him.
Vivian drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "From now on you're staying here when you come on leave," she said firmly, but she tried to inject a sweet, teasing tone into it. She just wanted him to stay near always, especially now that she knew about his dreams. What did he do when he woke up alone? Did he just sleep through it? Did it go on a loop the entire night?Vivian cradled his face in her hands and made him look up at her. She couldn't find any words to say so she just dropped butterfly kisses on his face, as if they would take away his demons.
A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "I will," he said sincerely, his eyes reflecting more of what he felt. She might not have known it, but it meant a lot to him to know someone was looking out for him. Every dawn, he woke up a scream dying on his lips, his real fingers clenching the sheets, and sitting bolt upright. Sometimes his machinated arm even smashed into the wall.
That small smile, barely visible, as all Vivian needed for her heart to relax a bit. The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know that she helped make it easier somehow for him. She kissed Joeri tenderly, sliding down so that she was lying back on her pillows, still cradling him in her arms with his head on her shoulder.
The light was the deep grey of night melting into predawn, and she shut her eyes as she stroked his hair and shoulders. "Go back to sleep," Vivian murmured, kissing his forehead.
Joeri's shoulders relaxed and he blinked tiredly. "Thank you, Vivian," he whispered, feeling the fog of sleep still hovering over him, yet afraid to succumb. What if it happened again? He could have hurt her and he didn't want to chance that.
"Sleep, Joeri," Vivian urged, pressing her cheek against the top of his head. She kissed his forehead softly and coaxed him to sleep, massaging his neck and the back of his bare shoulders gently. When his breathing became deep and even again, Vivian shut her eyes. But try as she might, sleep eluded her, and she only dozed off lightly, stirring awake each time Joeri shifted slightly in her arms.***END OF SCENE***
He fell into a short, brief sleep and though he didn't have dreams, he was still a little restless. When the light from the sun shone on his face, Joeri woke up, the warmth and the brightness immediately making his eyes wide open.
Vivian had been staring at the ceiling for an hour by the time she sensed that Joeri was awake. She looked down at him, his head nestled in the curve between her chest and shoulder, and she smiled lovingly at him."Good morning," she said softly.
Joeri smiled up at her, comforted that he wasn't alone. "Good morning, my lady," he replied, shifting himself up to give her a kiss on the cheek.
Vivian smiled and dropped a kiss on his nose. "You slept so soundly after," she murmured, not realising she was also implying that she hadn't slept a wink.
His brow furrowed. "I'm sorry for disturbing you," Joeri said, feeling guilty.
"What? No, of course you didn't," Vivian exclaimed, giving him a squeeze.
Joeri looked unconvinced, but he decided to let it slide. He gave her a side hug, then moved to slip out of bed. "Then it must be breakfast time for the both of us if we've been in bed all morning," he said, running a hand through his messy hair.
Vivian wasn't terribly hungry, but she got out of bed as well and slipped her robe over her slender frame. Joeri was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and she stood between his knees and gave him a wordless hug, holding him tightly.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, Joeri was glad for this one time that he didn't wake up alone with his dreams. Never before had he shared it with anyone and though he felt vulnerable, he felt comforted as well. "Thank you, Vivian," he said softly.
"No need to thank me," she whispered above his head. She pulled away from him a bit, her arms resting on his shoulders, then bent her head a little bit to kiss him.
Joeri kissed her back, lingering slightly. It was a sweet moment and he imagined it would be wonderful if every morning was like this. If he could love and be with Vivian forever, in a bond that lasted despite the times he wasn't there beside her.
As she kissed him, Vivian felt something deep inside her - a new kind of longing. One that made her want to be with him, even when he was away. One that made her realise yet again just how different his love was, and how lucky she was to have found him."I only have bread and cheese and fruit in the larder," Vivian said when she finally pulled away. "So unless you want a hot breakfast, we'll just have to make do."
He smiled and reached up to playfully tug a lock of her hair. "That's sounds like a fantastic breakfast to me," Joeri replied.
Vivian laughed and pulled away to go into her dressing room to brush out her curls and wash her face, leaving him to himself for a few moments. She stood in front of her closet, its doors wide open, and looked at all the dresses she'd initially brought with her from Geoffrey's. There were still dozens more back at Northby Mansion, and Vivian realised she'd have to start going through them all to see what she could sell off.
Regarding her wardrobe and pulling out the skirts of dresses from the mass of lace, cotton, silk, and linen, Vivian hummed to herself, and did not realise Joeri was standing in the doorway to her bedchamber, watching her as she went about her morning routine.
Looking at her wardrobe, Joeri could see that she probably had twice the amount of clothes that he owned. Watching her hum, he wondered if this could become something regular whenever he was on leave. When he saw she was about to dress, he turned his back politely and went to grab his shirt, vest, and jacket.
"Your shirt should be dry by now," Vivian said, clueing in at last to the fact that he was there even without turning around.
