An Advanced Victorian Steampunk Roleplay discussion
Characters' Havens
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Vivian's New Start
Vivian stared at him, utterly speechless, her breath caught in her throat behind a sudden and inexplicable lump of emotion.She'd had a feeling he might ask her but she'd had no idea when. And suddenly there was nothing else in the world but him, and she nodded as she felt the tears spring to her eyes.
"Yes," Vivian whispered, dashing her free hand across her eyes. "Yes, of course I will," she said in a louder voice once she was able to get the lump in her throat out of the way.
"Yes."
Grinning, Joeri kissed her hand again, and slipped on the ring. Then he rose to his feet, giving her a kiss on the lips, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "I love you, Vivian," he said, pulling back and his forehead against hers.
"I love you so much." Vivian cupped his face in her hands. Once they were smooth and delicate, but even after only a short time at the stables they had become toughened and roughened by work - despite her religious use of gloves and creams. She shut her eyes and kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and going up on tiptoes.
So this is what being truly happy feels like.
The roughness of her palms confirmed this was real and in celebration, Joeri broke their kiss to briefly scoop her up into his arms, then kissed her again. He never felt so alive and happy. He thought the first time they confessed their love for each other was when he was most happy, but he realized that dimmed in comparison. "I love you," he repeated in a whisper.
Laughing with delight, Vivian wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Then she rested her head in the curve of his neck and shoulder and gave a contented sigh. Right now there was nothing in the world that could possibly make her feel even a little less happy. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt such elation and realised there wasn't a comparable memory.Vivian turned Joeri's face to hers, her otherworldly green eyes full of love and hope and longing for him. She kissed him again and whispered, "I told Bridget not to bother us until tomorrow afternoon." She smiled a bit at him, one eyebrow arched delicately.
Raising a brow, his eyes lit up and he smiled. "Then we should make do with our time," Joeri replied, kissing her nose. With her in his arms, he went upstairs.*END OF SCENE*
Some time later, Vivian slid slowly off of Joeri and snuggled against his side, moulding her body to match up against his. She laid her head on the hollow curve between his chest and shoulder, her flaming tresses spread out over the pillow behind her head in a mass of bed-tousled curls. Dropping a kiss on Joeri's chest, Vivian held up her hand a bit and looked at the ring, her enhanced eyes able to see it in perfect detail. "Did this come from your arm?" Vivian asked, her other hand idly tracing his scars.
"Yes. It was in my arm from the beginning until now," Joeri replied with a small smile, absently drawing circles along her shoulder.
Vivian grinned and propped herself up on her elbow to give him a soft kiss. "It's perfect," she told him, brushing his hair away from his forehead. "Now I'll always have something of you with me wherever I am, whenever you're away." She settled back down and sighed happily.
"I'm glad. It was my hope to make sure of that," he said, dropping a kiss on her neck.
Vivian smiled at his thoughtfulness and nuzzled his jaw. "Is there any progress yet on your case?" she asked.
"Other than what Sameul has done, I do not know what other progress that has been made," Joeri told her sadly. He ran a hand along her cheek, then playfully tugged a lock of hair.
Vivian dropped a light kiss on his chest. "That's alright. These things take time, I suppose."She lay against him in silence for a whole, reflecting - as she often did on her birthdays - on her past. This year there was so much to ponder and yet she found herself thinking more about her childhood.
"I'm glad that my grandfather made the choice to have my eyes fixed," she said, completely forgetting she hadn't told him that her eyes were enhanced. "Otherwise I would have never known your face."
Enjoying her comforting presence, he almost didn't catch what she said. "What do you mean?" Joeri asked.
Oh...Vivian laughed sheepishly. "My eyes are bio-engineered too," she told him. "I was born with only partial eyesight, apparently, but when I was still only very little my eyes became cloudy and I went blind. My grandfather decided to have then restored and now I can see perfectly in any light."
He smiled, then kissed each eye gently. "Then I'm even more grateful to your grandfather," Joeri commented. "I can't imagine how sad it would be if you could never have known me."
Vivian grinned. "Yes, it would have been a shame. But I know I would have still loved you, even without being able to know your face." She frowned and joked, "Finding you at that empty table would have been hard, though."
With a soft laugh, he rubbed the tip of his nose against hers. "You might have found me to be even more kind, my automaton routine gone before we even spoke."
"You're already the kindest person I know," Vivian told him, "and don't forget - I know Geoffrey." She laughed and kissed the tip of his nose."I think it's all been worth it, if it meant I could end up with you," she murmured, not realising she had spoken out loud.
"Giving up on 'Ivy Locke'?" he asked gently, not exactly sure if he knew what she meant.
"What? ...oh, not that on its own," Vivian said quietly. She shifted a bit in his arms, and bit her lip, thinking hard for a moment."You know how...how my family is complicated?" Vivian asked tentatively.
He nodded. "Only from what I've seen," Joeri answered. He felt this was a new, sensitive subject and his voice was careful.
Vivian bit the corner of her lip again."I...I've never felt like I belonged with them," she said quietly. "Aside from Bert and Ben...but..."
Gently, he brushed the curls away from her face and he kissed her forehead. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Joeri told her softly.
"No, I want to," Vivian said quickly. "You're going to be marrying me, after all." Trying to sound light, she added, "You ought to know what you're getting yourself into.""I was born five years after the twins," she told him after another quiet moment, "and my sisters are ten and twelve years older than I am...and I've never gotten along with my parents, either."
"I envy you your happy childhood with your parents and Anne," Vivian confessed. "The twins and Geoff gave me most of my happiness, and Grandfather too, but...it's not the same when most of your family treats you like you don't belong."
He was quiet, silently taking in her words. He knew that she had difficult family relations, but he didn't know the amount of poor treatment. Embracing her closer, Joeri whispered, "I'm sorry, Vivian. I can't imagine what it must have been like."
"Father didn't really have an emotional interest or investment in me," she told Joeri, her voice quiet, "and Mother was close for a while but as I grew up she became more and more distant. The...the last time I ever saw her, she didn't even talk to me."Vivian blinked her tears aside. "I've never wanted for material things, but I've always wanted to feel like I belonged to somebody," she confessed. "And yet at the same time...I just don't want to get hurt anymore. Father took away the first person who ever made me feel alright about everything, when I was thirteen. Since then I've just...I've never..."
The tears came without warning and she pressed her face against Joeri's chest.
Pressing her close, he muttered soothing words. He had questions come up in his mind, but he didn't voice them, thinking it best for her to continue on her own. Though he wanted to know everything immediately, Joeri wanted to make sure he didn't scare her into silence.
"Bert and Ben always had each other," Vivian said, "and even though Lenora and Jessamine hate everyone they always sided with each other anyway. I...I love my brothers but they have their twin thing...and Lenora and Jessamine just don't know how to care about anyone but themselves."Unlike the stories Bert had been telling during dinner, these were not happy ones: "One time Lenora got so mad at me for messing up her stuff that she grabbed my hair and threatened to chop it all off with a pair of scissors. I was crying so hard and begging her and apologising so much but she would have done it if Bert hadn't come in and made her stop. I was five and she was seventeen, and I never really talked to her after that."
Joeri was speechless at first. It was understandable to get annoyed with little siblings, but one that was twelves years younger seemed awfully harsh. His brow was creased and his eyes were full of sympathy. He dropped a kiss on her head. "It must have been quite lonely, growing up in a large house with little attachments."
"You know all those stories Bert told at dinner about me trying to run away?" Vivian asked through her tears. "They're all true, and they're all because I just wanted to get out of there." Vivian suddenly felt as if the air in the room was too close and heavy, and pulled away from Joeri to get out of bed and open one of the doors leading out to her small private balcony. On her way back her toe brushed against Joeri's white cotton shirt and she put it on instinctively before getting back onto the bed, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging loosely around her delicate frame. She sat hunched against the headboard, her knees drawn up and her arms clasped underneath, and she hung her head.
Shifting up so he sat upright next to her, he carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He was quiet for a moment, silently telling her how he was there for her if she ever needed him. "I'm sorry," he said softly, not knowing what else to say or how to comfort her.
Vivian stiffened a bit at first, then remembered who she was with, and realised she wanted to be held tight until the pain from unhappy childhood memories was gone. She clambered into his lap, his large shirt trailing off her shoulders, and curled up in the protective circle of Joeri's strong limbs.Tucking her head under his chin, Vivian whispered, "Ever since I met you I've never been happier in my entire life, Joeri. I don't even know why you love me. When we first met I thought...I thought that if you knew about me - where I came from, who 'Ivy' was, any of it - I thought...I thought you would have just walked right out the door. But you haven't. I don't...I don't want to lose you but I'm scared that I've never learned how to love properly. It scares me how much I love you because if I ever lose you..."
Vivian couldn't bear the thought and she cried again.
He shushed her gently, letting her tears flow. In his arms, she felt incredibly small, maybe even smaller than before he left. Worried, Joeri wondered if she was so affected by her fear of loosing what little she had left. "Oh, Vivian. Don't you know I feel the same? How can I let myself fall for you when I live such a painful career where I could leave you alone if a battle were to arise suddenly? But, you and I, we aren't perfect and I love you all the more for it," Joeri said gently.
Vivian wrapped her arms around one of his, the one that came over the front of her body, pulling it tighter around her. "I love you too," she said in a small voice, kissing his upper arm and shoulder. "I love you so much." After a moment she asked, "But...why do you love me, Joeri?" She knew it was foolish to ask - don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Vivian Parthena! - but she couldn't help herself. After a lifetime of only a few people ever caring about her, she was curious to know how Joeri had come to love her. A long time ago she'd convinced herself that most people who knew her or met her after a certain point in her life could see right through her and knew what a horrible person she was.
He found it difficult to put into words, how exactly he felt and thought. Quiet for a moment, Joeri decided to not think about it and just say it. "Despite what I didn't know about you and your past, you were genuine, Vivian. That time we met was the first time in a long time since I felt myself, where I can share my passions with someone. You really were interested in me and who I was. After lying for so long, it was refreshing to be honest," he explained, wondering if she understood what he meant to say.
Vivian nodded against his chest for a moment, then shifted a bit so she was sitting back on her heels between his knees, facing him. She cupped his face in her hands, and wordlessly she kissed him.
With the utmost sweetness and affection, he kissed her back, telling her why he loved her when his words failed him.
Vivian pulled him along with her as she moved backwards until she was flat on her back on the bed with Joeri above her. As they kissed and slowly melted into one another again, Vivian allowed herself to hope that this next year of her life would be the start of something wonderful. She let Joeri kiss away her fear and doubt and insecurity until there was just love and hope, and when they finally fell asleep some time later she felt truly happy once more.***END OF SCENE***
That night there were no dreams. None at all. Unlike the times where he woke up before they reached their maximum intensity, he knew that for once he slept in peace. In the soft sunlight, Joeri traced the features of Vivian's sleeping face with his gaze. With all that happened last night, he almost thought it was a dream, but he saw the glint of metal on her finger and smiled. As he looked at her, his brow creased with worry as the light revealed how thin she was. Gently, he reached out to brush a curl from her face.
Vivian stirred a bit at the feeling of somebody brushing her face with a gentle hand, and then as she woke up she remembered that Joeri was there. Her body curled towards him even though she was still half-asleep and she reached up to her face to take his hand."You're really here," she whispered, before slowly opening her eyes. Vivian gave him a soft smile, then noticed the worry on his face. "Joeri? What's the matter?"
Realizing how worrisome his face might be, Joeri gave her a small smile. "Nothing, just surprised at how hard you worked at the stables. You've changed quite a lot," he replied, kissing her hand.
Vivian snuggled closer, running her real fingertips over the contours of his upper body muscles. She kissed the tip of his nose and said, "I hadn't realised it was such a visible difference."She tucked herself neatly in his embrace and breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent and enjoying the warm, safe feeling she had from being held by him. She'd slept very well last night and he hadn't even had any dreams - they had both slept through without disturbance.
Her curls tickled his neck and he felt so cozy lying there with her. Joeri kissed the top of her head and leaned his cheek on top of her curls. "Not such a difference that you're a stranger to me. You're still Vivian, the one I love, my schaatje."
Vivian smiled and nuzzled his neck. "And you make quite a wonderful Knuddelbärli in person," she giggled.She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a squeeze before dropping little kisses on his neck and shoulders.
"I told Bridget not to send out a search party until the early afternoon," she told him after a few minutes of canoodling. "Is there anything in particular you wanted to do today?"
He grinned and gave her a kiss on the nose. "Does everything count?" Joeri asked jokingly. "I think we must at least spend some time with both Shakespeares."
Vivian grinned. "Would you like to go riding? I had the chance a few days ago to explore the bridle paths from the stables. They connect to a lovely park where we can take the horses...and we could bring a blanket and a basket?"She wanted to spend as much time with him as she could and she didn't care how they spent it. And it was such a beautiful day outside.
Vivian rolled over onto her back and stretched, her slender frame arching a bit beneath the tangled sheets. By some miracle she was still in Joeri's shirt but only just, and she pulled it around her to cover herself up before sitting up against the pillows piled against the headboard.
"Sounds like a plan," he smiled. After dropping a kiss on her neck, he raised a brow questioningly. "Will I be able to get my shirt back?"
Vivian swiftly buttoned up half of it and grinned at him. "You act as if you only have the one shirt," she teased, pulling her delicate fingers through her hair to straighten out her bed-tousled curls.
((The ring: ))
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