Ruff drafts.

[Lilith]

This is a place to put unfinished drafts full of tipeos, mistakes, and all the imperfections of a ruff draft.

[Lilith]

Dreams, so bitter sweet. For me, an escape from the pain and horror that has become my life. I dream about the past, about my sister and my home. Things I will now never have again. And every day,I have to wake up, And face the fact that there gone, for ever. My sister was just a cub, barely old enough to fly. My flock was peaceful, nether going near the creachers of the land. As the last griffins, we fought only for sport, killed only for food. Then the hunters came, with there magic and swords. We didn't stand a chance. I was hunting a ways away wen it happened. I raced back to the nesting grounds as soon as I heard the roars of battle. By that time, my fellow griffins were beginning to fall. I heard a blood curdling screech, and turned to see my sister. She was badly injured, laying bleeding beside a hunter. A rage rushed through me then, terrible and full of blood lust. I pounced, my vision turned red with anger. The hunter tried to run, but a griffin is faster then any man. I pecked at his face, and he managed to draw his sword. He threw me off, and disappeared into the battle. I roared in frustration, clawing at the ground. As my anger began to fade, I started to cry. I walked back over to my sister, my heart breaking into a million pieces. My sister opened her ies, and cawed weakly. "No, please no." I whispered, my voice full of pain. "Speerit?" My sister asked, her voice barely a whisper."I'm here, Freedom, I'm hear." I sead soothingly."Beet them, speerit, p-please. Don't let them t-take are h-home." She sead."I'll beet every one of them, I promise." I sead, meaning every word of it. She purred weakly, and closed her ies. I stood up, and leaped into the battle. I killed countless hunters, but we were greatly out numbered. I was still fighting wen the rest of the Griffins had fallen. It had taken 7 wizards powers combined to take me down. As I had layd under a blanket of magic so thick that I could barely breathe, a wizard walked over and looked me up and down. "Yes." He had sead in an approving voice. "Very nice, very nice indeed." "Are you sure you want that one?" Another had asked. "He's not guna brake easy. I mean, just look at all the men we lost because of him." "My oddiens do not pay to see tamed beast! They pay to see vishis monsters!" He had replied with an air of triumph. I had hissed, bearing my fangs. He chuckled. "As I sead, monsters." He sead with a dark look on his face. He leaned torges me, and I gave in to my greath. I am awakened by a rattling. As sad as it is, I try to cling to the dream, if only for a few more moments of peace. But the rattling is to insistent to echnore. I open my ies and reluctantly get to my feet. I'm in a cage. The rattling is Mort, shaking the bars. Mort is my guard. As cruel and sharp as a whip lash, the kid is impossible to bribe or sneak around. He enjoys watching the animals he guards suffer. "Get up, ya stoopid beast!" He ses angrily."Show time!" He unlocks my cage, and I walk out slowly. The first day, I raced out snarling. Got a nasty shock of lightening from an invisible fores field. I wait until he puts on the chain leash that counters the fores field before I begin to struggle. Mort grunts and drags me out onto the stage. The wizard that imprisoned me goes by the name Freak Show. And that's exactly what he runs, I freak show. It takes place in an old theter, with spot lights and a big old stage. He has one of the finest collections on the planet. "Brutes and ruffians, welcome to the Freak Show! We have everything hear. From lightning spiders, to dragons, and every beast inbutween. Feel free to laugh at them, mock them, whatever you wish. But remember, poke at your own risk." This last remark caused a ripple of laughter to go through the oddiens." So, without further ado, let the mockery, begin!" The crowd surges forward like a wave of desper. Some of the more clostrafobic animals curl up into whimpering balls of misery. The foolish ones bite and snarl, desperately fighting to escape. I just stand there, proud and tall. As my ies scim the crowd, one girl cechis my attention. She's slim and elegant, quite the contrary to the usual sorts that come to this kind of thing. She looks around with disgust plain on her face. To my surprise, it's not directed at the animals. Her ies settle on Freak Show, and if looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right then and there. She acts as if she's looking for something, looking at each animal closely before going to the next one. She stops in front of the dragon, but moves on wen it tries to bite her. I watch, mesmerized, as she gets closer. What's she doing? I think curiously. My thoughts are interrupted by a scream. I look to see that the dragon has broken loos. In its jaws is the arm of a man. It spits it out, sniffing at the air hungrily. It turns, and starts to head for the girl. She runs behind the stage, and the Dragon starts to follow. I step the few feet my chain will allow, so that I'm between the girl and the Dragon. He breathes a mighty flame, and I duck. The flame hits the chain, breaking it. We circle echather slowly, waiting for the other to make the first move. He lunges, and I jump. I land on his back, and dig in with my claws. He throws me off, and I land hard. I struggle to my paws as he starts torg me. I hiss, puffing up my feather so I look twice my size. We're inches apart, the Dragon's scales shimmer like fresh embers. I spread my wings, and leap into the air, he's right behind me. I go as fast as I can, but I can't out fly him. Suddenly, I get an idea. I fly straight up, and he follows. I tense as I reach the barrier, but I go right through. The Dragon, however, hits a wall of lightening. He roars in pain, and starts to fall. I hesitate, wondering what I should do. After a moment, I race to help. I get under him, trying to slow his fall. We land in a heap, the Dragon fainted on top. I struggle out from under him. I'm so tired, I my legs shake as I tern back to the Dragon.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Wait so ... are you asking people to post things with purposeful mistakes/typos in them? And if so ... uh, why? :P

[Lilith]

I awake to a bright light. I squint in to the light, trying to see were I am. I'm strapped to a hospital stretcher. "So, your finely awake." I hear someone say. They step in into the light, and I can see her clearly. It's a girl hostile, she has long, black hair and a wicked smile on her face."Now we can get to work." She walks around me, examining my every feacher. "Ok, about 5 feet tall, with blue..." She reaches up and runs her finger nail down my face. She examines one of her fingers. "Scales. It seems to have webbed fingers and toes. And external gills, interesting. Let's see... I think, experiments first, information second, and ontopsy last. What do you think, Annabel?" She asks another hostile. "Thery well, madam. I will call for Doc." Annabel runs off as fast as she can. I'm panicking now, I start to pull on the straps." Don't bother." The girl ses. "There's no escape, except death. And that won't happen for a long, long time." A new hostile comes through the door. This must be doc. "Ah, doc. Do come in. We recently found this specimen circling the earth, planing an attack, no dout." An attack,I think. What is she talking about? "Lern as much as you can. And tell me wen your done." "Yes, mistress. All get right on that." "Very well." She ses. Then she walks out briskly. Wen she's gone, doc starts to prepare a needle. I cringe as he puts it into my arm. I watch as the needle files with blood. It's crystal clear, like water. He examines it with fascination. "Extraordinary!" He ses. "It's completely see throow."He puts a drop on a microscope, and studies it with ah. Then he picks up a pair of pliers. He gently picks off one of my scales. "These aren't fish scales!" He mutters. "Their more like a snakes." Then he turns to a desk and begins to right furiously. After a minute, he standes up, and walks to a droor. He opens it, and takes out an onamis maseen. I stare wide ied as he terns it on. The air crackles with electricity as he prepares it. I whimper, knowing what comes next. I tug hopelessly at the straps as he approaches. He looks at me with ies full of pity. Then he places it on me, and everything is swallowed up by pain. My ears are ringing as I fight to stay consis. From distance I hear doc say, " It has a strong reaction to the electricity." For some reason the it makes me mad. I feel like whatever I say won't mater, so I decided to let my anger out. "Your kind are monsters. Monsters! So full of hatred that it makes me sick." He stares at me, dumb struck. "What did I do? Give me one bad thing I did. One good reason I deserve this. What did I do?" I'm crying now, I can't seem to stop. "I didn't attack your filthy planet, you attacked me! I just came to find nimbis." "Nimbis?" He asks in a pained voice. "My best friend." I whisper. "She was on her way to the planet Crystal wen the hiper drive I made malfunctioned. I, it threw her into space. I went after her. But I hope I got it wrong. I hope she went in the opposite direction. Because anywhere is better then this ball of melting rock!" "I'm sorry." He ses. "Is that all you have to say for your self? I'm sorry?" I say with disbelief. He bows his head, and I rest, all my rage spent. After a while he sits down and begins to right. "I am, thow." He ses, not terning arowned. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hert you. But if I don't do what she ses, then shill have me killed. She has power over everything. And she silences anyone that gets in her way. I don't know how. Shill have a fight with someone, and then they don't tern up for work the next day. She ses that it was some freak accident, but I'm smart anath to put two and two together. But she's never asked me to do anything so grusam before now. I, I don't know what to do."With that he puts his face in he's hands and begins to sob weakly. This is the last time we speak for months. I spend the entire time in the stretcher. Doc's visits become an almost welcomed distraction from my boredom. Then, one day, something happens. Doc walks in. As he starts the daily preparations, an alarm go's of "ow no." Doc ses. "No no no!" He yells as he races throw the door. I start struggling as I hear fighting. The door slames open and doc flies across the room. He hits the wall, and falls to the floor. A girl walks in, sword drawn. She looks around, her ies rest on me. She raises her sword. I cringe, waiting for the blow. I feel it wiz throw the air, but it doesn't hit me. I open my ies. My straps are cut. I stare at her as she terns to doc. She raises her sword, and I realize that she's going to kill him. "No!" I yell, knocking her aside. I grab doc arm, and pull him to his feet. We rush throw the door and into a hall way. We run around a corner, and come to a fork. I hesitate, not knowing with way to go. "This way!" Doc gasps. I let him take the lead. He ducks into a room. "In hear!" He yells. I rush in, and he slams the door behind me. "I think we lost her." I whisper, panting on the floor. Doc stops and looks at me funny. "You saved me!" He asks. "After I torcherd you, why?" "Why wouldn't I?" I say. "I couldn't just stand there and let her..." I can't even finish the sentence. He doesn't seem to have a response to this. I hear foot steps. "Someones coming!" I whisper. We crouch as the foot steps get closer. They stop right outside the door. I hold my breath, praying that she won't find us. The door creeps open, and the girl walks in. I run into her, and she grunts with outrage. Doc runs out and I rush to follow. I feel something grab my shirt, and I look to see the girl. Doc stops and starts to go back. "Go!" I yell. "Don't stop, just go!" He terns and runs. The girl spins me around, and I cringe with fear. "A ? . I never would have believed it." She ses. "Go, run as fast as you can." Then she rushes of, leaving me standing there flabbergasted. How did she know what I am, I think in amazement. Then I start to run, desperate to leave this place. I run into a room full of kaos. Every ware I look, creachers are fighting people. In one corner griffin is battling five men, and winning by the looks of it. In another the girl that chased me is battling it out with the black haired girl. I squeeze through the battle, not wishing to hurt anyone. I make it to the door and fling it open. I sprint out as fast as I can. As if my leaving was a que, all the other prisoners start to flock out the door. I run into the woods, hopeing to hide their. I run until I'm exosted. I lean agents a tree as I try to think of what to do next. I must have fallen asleep because I am awakened by the whoing of an owl. I get up, and begin to walk. I don't know where I'm going, only that I should ceep moving. After awhile I come to a road. I stand at the egh of the forest, debating wether or not I should cross. I hear dogs barking from a distens. I know it's the humans looking for me. I back away from the sound, and walk right into the middle of the road. Suddenly, I see a blinding light. I freeze up like a rabbit as it comes closer. I hear a humming and a screech. I am thrown to the ground. I fight for conchisnes as I lay their. The last thing I see is the silowet of a human in the moon light. Then I am swept away by a sea of nothing. When I awake, I find myself on a bed. I sit up slowly, disoriented. I'm in a bed room, and my wounds are bangiged. I reach up, and feel whet clothes covering my gills. I get up as slowly as I can, winshing as the bed creeks. I start for the door, and freeze. I hear voices. "When will it wake up?" I hear a girl say. "Hard to tell, I've nether seen one before." I hear another girl anser. I've got to get out of hear, I think. As I creep to the door, it starts to open. I hide behind it as they walk in. "Where has it gone!?" One of them exclaimes. I sneak out the door as they stare at the bed. I look for an escape, opening doors and looking in. I hear a human coming, so I jump into a giant pile of laundry. "What's happened?" She asks. "The creachers gone!" Another answers. I try to think of a way to get past them. As they argue about how I escaped, I start to sneeze. I try to stop, but I can't. They fall silent, and I whimper with fear. They walk over to the laundry, and move it aside. I cower as they lean over me. Nothing happens. I peek out, and see a gap. I race throw it, escape my only thought. I run into the bedroom, leap over the bed, and duck behind it. I wate for them, my mind raceing a mile a minute. After a few minutes, I cousisly peek over the bed, ready to duck at any moment. I see them looking at me from the door. Why don't they attack? I think as I watch them. "Poor think." One of them ses. "It must have bin captured before, that's why it was so banged up." "What do we do?" Another asks. "Well, Sparrow, we need to gain it's trust." The first replies. "And how do you suppose we do that, Mel?" Asks the third. " We need a peace offering, of course." Sparrow ses, rolling her ies. " Exactly. So, hears what I'm thinking." Mel ses. She learns closer, and whispers into Sparrow's ear. "Perfect!" She ses. "You coming, Night?" "Ya, why not?" The third ses. "Sparrow, will you stay and take watch for me? I Don't want it wandering off." "Of course." Sparrow replies. She turns back to me. I gasp and duck. I hear her shy. "Poor thing." She whispers to herself. As I try to make sense of this, Mel and Night return. "Can I do it?" Sparrow asks eagerly. "Sure, go ahead." Replies Mel. She gets up, and slowly begins to walk torge me. I watch as she gets closer, my heart pounding. She stops at the bed and I tence , wateing for her to charge. When she doesn't I cosesly sit up, trying not to shiver. "That's it." She ses in a soothing voice. "I'm not gana hurt you." I stand up, hugging the wall. She starts to walk around the bed. I move so that it's still between us. She stops, and sets something on it. I don't want to take my ies of her for a second, but my curiosity wins over my better judgement. I glanced down, and see a bowl full of fish. It looks so good I feel my mouth start to water. "Go on, take a bite." Sparrow ses. I try to way the chances of it being poisoned, their not in my faver. She stares, wateing for me to eat. After a moment, she pick up a peace of fish. She puts it in her mouth. I watch as she swallows. She shudders in disgust. I guess humans don't eat fish. I reach for the bowl slowly, trying to be as small as I can. I grab it, and start to eat. I'd forgotten how good fish is. She walks over to the others as I eat. "That was the most disgusting thing I have ether seen." Ses Mel with disbelief. "It was the only way to get him to eat." Sparrow replies timidly.

[Sevania]

Do you want people to edit it for you or what? I'm a bit confused.

[Sam~~ we cannot see the moon, and yet the waves still rise~~]

Lilith, no offense, but... what is the point of this thread?

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Sam~ on sleepless roads the sleepless go~ wrote: "Lilith, no offense, but... what is the point of this thread?"

[Grace]

Sam~ on sleepless roads the sleepless go~ wrote: "Lilith, no offense, but... what is the point of this thread?""
^ That ^

[Taylor]

@Jude

I tried to say the same thing, but the long blocks of text crashed my app. Thanks.

[Halah]

I think the point of this is to post things that you don't feel like editing, but want people to read.. Or for people to experience the original work that hasn't been played with to show what you were going through when you were having a writing spurt. Maybe. Just guessing..

Pretty neat story idea though, Lilith.

[Colby]

I don't know, all I can say is that if you don't feel like editing, I don't know why you would expect me to feel like reading. Not to say that you can't post a first draft of something, but you should try to get that as good as possible?

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Colby wrote: "I don't know, all I can say is that if you don't feel like editing, I don't know why you would expect me to feel like reading. Not to say that you can't post a first draft of something, but you sho..."

^^^^

[Sam~~ we cannot see the moon, and yet the waves still rise~~]

to be honest, we don't really use this thread much. the best way to do it would be to start a thread about whatever book/short story/poem/whatever you are writing, under "fiction", "poetry", etc.

[Lauren]

Chapter 1

"Tell us about the dragon Grandfather," Rosie insisted.
"Again?" the old man said, " alright then go get the other children,". Rosie scurried out of the door. Not all of the children were the man's grandchildren. Some of them were children of nobles or servants in the castle, but that didn't matter he treated them all the same.
He came off the throne and pulled a wooden chair to a stained glass window. The window showed beautiful green hills full of lakes and houses. Above showed a enormousness dragon. It was painted brilliant reds and extravagant golds. The dragon itself was pierced by an iron sword. The old man chuckled to himself. The dragon was never red, he thought, those storytellers never get anything right.
The door was thrown open suddenly as the children entered the room. Rosie was leading them. She was small, but very curious. After her was the handsome Xavier. Little Maria tagged along behind him as always. Maria followed Xavier everywhere. He in turn taught her how to climb trees, sword fight, and curse.
" Oh Maria what are we going to do with you," the old man thought.
Next both with mischievous grins and blue eyes that made it impossible to be angry with them, were the twins Hugo and Lucas. Following them was the stunningly beautiful Juliet. She had long wavy dark brown hair and soft brown eyes. Behind her were her two friends Clara and Alva. Clara had red hair and green eyes. While Alva had bleach blond hair and bright blue eyes.
All talk that was started was now silent. The children sat down in front of the king. They didn't dare make a sound for fear that they would interrupt the beginning of the story.
And then he started.
" I don't know why I tell this story. You have all heard it 100 times over and 100 times again. In fact I bet you all have it memorized by heart," the old man began.
" Just tell us the story already," Hugo interrupted. The king gave him a hard look but never the less began.
" Now you have all heard of the Golden Age. Our city Diaraith was the capital of Reginia under the rule of the mighty King Nathaniel. Life was good. Crops prospered, the city expanded, and gold was found in the Red Mountain Range. People came from all over to seek their fortune. The king hired miners to seek the riches hidden deep within the mountain. Every day they brought back heaps of glimmering gold, mounds of precious gems and wagons full of shining silver," the man told the children.
" Can you just get to the part with the dragon," Xavier asked. Only Maria agreed to that.
" No! We want to hear about Pippin," argued the twins. Of course they would want to hear about him. He was a troublemaker just like them. Oh how I wish he could have met the twins.
"Children if you would like to hear that story," the old man said, " first you must hear this one,".




Chapter Two

The branches tore at her cloak as she rushed through the woods. " Only a little longer," she told herself. She only had to make it to the gate and then she would be fine. She couldn't stop. Not to rest and not to eat.
The king was dead, killed by the dragon. His son would be hunted all his life. Not just by the dragon, but by assassins of the enemy. She had to spread the word.
Up ahead was a small break in the trees where she could she the glimmering silver of the gate. Here she could finally be at peace, for she feared she was close to death.
She tripped over a tree root and sprawled onto the ground. Before she hit the ground she rotated so she would land on her back. The woman had to protect the bundle she carried. It had to be delivered. She got back up and staggered to the gate.
The gate was set between to faces of rock that went as far as you could see before it was consumed by the forest. The gate itself was made of the purest of silver, wound in and out of an intricate design. It was about 10 feet high and five feet across. The rock passed above the gate creating an archway. In the rock above was a group of archers ready to open and protect the gate. The silver wasn't that strong, but it was protected by magic.
As the woman approached the gate the archers trained their arrows on her. " Hold you fire," she panted, " I bring news for Lord Belem,". And with that she collapsed with exhaustion.
She was carried on a stretcher for she was to weak to stand. One of the archers carried her package. Through the winding halls of the fortress. They were rushed into a courtyard full of white flowers and old trees. A man sat beneath an oak tree cloaked in robes of a dark green with gold embroidery around the edges. He wore also a brown leather vest.
"Lord Belem," one of the archers began "she was found outside the gate and requested to see you,". The man beneath the tree got up and knelt down beside the stretcher.
"My Lady," he said bowing his head slightly, "what has happened to you?".
"A dragon came," she gasped with the little energy she had, "killed the king. The Boy one of your archers is carrying is the heir to the throne. I have barely rested in the two days it has taken me to get here, I was followed all the way. Take care of my boy,". Then she took one last breath and died of exhaustion.
"Rest in peace my lady. Wife of Nathaniel. Queen of Reginia," Lord Belem recited. This time he did a full bow. The archers behind him followed his lead.
They bowed for a while until Lord Belem was done paying his respects to the Queen. He then walked over to the archer who was holding the Queens's son. The small boy was wrapped carefully in cloth. He was asleep for now. Tucked into the blankets was a note that was written upon:
His name is Elias, heir to the throne of Reginia. It was foretold
long ago that the son of a dead king would free the city. It is
it is my hope that he is that son. Treat him well.

And then he woke up. Elias had been told of his mother and the day the dragon came to Diaraith. This was how he pictured it. He was only part forest person, but he was treated like family.
There is a proper name for the forest people, but that name is long forgotten so that not even Lord Belem could remember it. They have many realms in different forests, but the strongest was that where Lord Belem lived in the forest of Pellinore. All forest people have a skill for weapons. Wether it be a bow and arrow or a sword. They all have long dark brown hair. The girls goes down their mid back while the boys goes down the just below their ears. They also have dark brown eyes with flecks of gold. They can be distinguished from normal people by a couple strands of blond hair on their left side which is braided with a single piece of grass.
So Elias only being part forest person still had the braided blond hair, but his normal hair was more of a sandy brown like his mother. Then he had blue eyes. No one knew were these came from for his mother had green eyes and his father had brown.
" Hey Elias are you awake yet," a voice shouted from outside the door. It belonged to his friend William. "Come on we have to get out before dawn if we want to get to the falls in time,".
Of course, Elias thought. He and Will were going to hike to the Amber Falls today. The Amber Falls were just outside the forest realm. When the sun reached its highest point in the sky the light would reflect off of the water to give it an amber coloring. It took a good while to get there so the boys were heading out early.
Elias hastily got up and dressed. He laced up his boots and threw on a dark green cloak. In the corner of the room lay his bow and sword. The sword had been a gift from Lord Belem. The bow he made.
Putting the sword in his scabbard and shouldering the bow and arrows he marched out the door.Outside Will was leaning against a marble pillar.
"What took you so long Elias? I've been awake for hours," Will complained. Elias only shrugged.
"Come on, if we want to make it to the falls on time we should get going now," he suggested. Will nodded. They walked through long winding halls. Past courtyards of stone and flowers. It was a labyrinth if you didn't know your way around. Each passageway leading to a couple more. Every garden leading to a dead end. Elias and Will wandered about until they found the silver gate.
Both of the boys passed through it. Each in turn touching their hand to the silver. It was an ancient tradition that whenever a forest person passed through the boundary they would touch the silver and speak a phrase in Greek.
Will had already gone through and now it was Elias's turn. He walked underneath the tall archway. The rock was older than he could remember.nit was covered with moss. It smelt like the woods just after it has rained. It was Elias's favorite smell.
He ran his hand along the silver and said, "όταν σπίτι δρόμος πίσω, το δρόμος δρόμος μου σπίτι,". When house is behind, the road is my home. He then continued walking.
"We will take the route that goes by the East River," Elias told Will. Will silently agreed. They head off in the direction of the river. The friends walked silently, careful not to disturb the peace. The sun could bee seen just below the tops of the trees now.

Please tell me how this sounds,
Lauren