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Writing > Writing: Descriptions (1)

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message 1: by Tia Todd, I am addicted to Mountain Dew and Adam Gontier's voice. (new)

Tia Todd StJohn (firedancer) | 506 comments Mod
I feel that descriptions are very important to writing. So, describe as best you can, the following picture of a lily pond. Describe it, describe a scene which could occur there...be descriptive. Am I clear? Sweetness.

http://photo.goodreads.com/photos/124...
(copy and paste into the address bar in another tab or window)

Peace!
~Tia


message 2: by Bailey (last edited Apr 29, 2009 03:45PM) (new)

Bailey (baileyr9350) I am going to describe it as I would to another person. I will put it in quotes.

"This, This lily pond, It is very beautiful. The surface is covered with lily pads, and there are a few little yellow flowers on it. On the far side of the lily pond from where I am standing, there was a plant drooping into the pond. The water had a green-ish tint, and the angle of the sun was coming from behind me. The water didn't look very deep, but I couldn't be sure."

Is that good?


message 3: by Tia Todd, I am addicted to Mountain Dew and Adam Gontier's voice. (new)

Tia Todd StJohn (firedancer) | 506 comments Mod
Fantastic! I noticed that part of the way through, though, you switched tenses. (is/was) That's okay though, I tend to do that too.


message 4: by Bailey (new)

Bailey (baileyr9350) Oh thanks, i'll change that.


message 5: by Tia Todd, I am addicted to Mountain Dew and Adam Gontier's voice. (new)

Tia Todd StJohn (firedancer) | 506 comments Mod
Other than that it's fantastic...truly. I can actually see it. It sounds a lot better than the actual picture!


message 6: by Bailey (new)

Bailey (baileyr9350) Hee hee!! I tried to make it sound like that, cause the picture wasn't very bright, just kinda gloomy.


message 7: by Anuhea (new)

Anuhea (anuhearamsey) You make it sound happy. Like a cheerful place to be.


message 8: by Erika, The Big Band Theory. Our thing. Don't steal it. (new)

Erika aslysA | 198 comments Mod
Yeah
I like it.


message 9: by Anuhea (new)

Anuhea (anuhearamsey) I'll try. I suck at this thing, but I'll do my best:
The frog jumped from lily pad to another green lily pad. The bright colored fish swam through the murky water. Beautiful white and yellow flowers blossomed on the lily pads. The smell of the musky brown wood floated through the air. The sun shone through the thicket of trees onto the animals.


message 10: by Tia Todd, I am addicted to Mountain Dew and Adam Gontier's voice. (new)

Tia Todd StJohn (firedancer) | 506 comments Mod
Okay! That sounds great. Way to keep the tense consistent (hint hint, Snickerdoodle).


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