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Music <3 > I Need Some Advice

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message 1: by ♪♫Gloria♫♪ (last edited Jun 05, 2013 05:31PM) (new)

♪♫Gloria♫♪ Well.... I really love writing and singing to songs i write. Can i have some advice on this one i just wrote? I have more, but i don't want anyone to steal it. I think i'm going to call it Dauntless. Do you like that name or do you think i should change it?

I Feel the fear pass my face,
My mind instantly goes blank.
I know I'm shaking.
I only wish i were faking.

(Chorus)
I feel the waves, crashing upon my soul.
I feel the waves, pounding against what i'm told.
The waves of life,
The waves of life,
The waves- of life.

My eyes flash open from my dreams.
I still hear the echoing screams.
I sit up straight, glancing around.
Fear wakes you up, not shut you down.

(Chorus)

What do you think? *I say this very nervously*

~*More Info*~

-I've timed it, it's about 4 minutes long.

-Timbre of the song:
It has a harsh, sad, and confessing sound.

-The Texture:
The song will probably have only the piano playing, possibly a little guitar in there. It's only going to have one person singing,(me) and I like to do the own echos for the song.

-The Dynamics:
The song is loud at the beginning a line, then gets soft at the end.
The chorus supposed to be sung loudly.


message 2: by Inda (new)

Inda (indaherwood) Well, first off I love the title lol. I like it, very deep. If you can keep the same riming pattern consistent throughout I think you have a hit ;)


♪♫Gloria♫♪ Me:


message 4: by Inda (new)

Inda (indaherwood) :D haha


message 5: by Nik (new)

Nik (anxious-morality) | 218 comments I like it a lot. If you give it a nice beat an a dark, mysterious, beautiful melody then you'll be perfect.


message 6: by ♪♫Gloria♫♪ (last edited Jun 05, 2013 05:34PM) (new)

♪♫Gloria♫♪ I'm sorry i've just never had any feedback on my songs


message 7: by Inda (new)

Inda (indaherwood) Have you recorded any?


message 8: by Nik (new)

Nik (anxious-morality) | 218 comments Don't worry!!!! It's really good though. I bet you that you'll probably either be a huge song writer or singer/ songwriter


message 9: by ♪♫Gloria♫♪ (last edited Jun 05, 2013 05:34PM) (new)

♪♫Gloria♫♪ Dauntless wrote: "Have you recorded any?"

No... not at all. I don't own a video camera, and my friends don't either, otherwise youtube would be spammed with my videos.

Onyx { Italian Girls Dont Take No Shit} wrote: "Don't worry!!!! It's really good though. I bet you that you'll probably either be a huge song writer or singer/ songwriter"

Thanks :') I've always wanted to be a singer/songwriter ever since i was a little kindergartener.


message 10: by Nik (new)

Nik (anxious-morality) | 218 comments Hehe! Well all you need is that dark melody and your good on your way!


message 11: by Inda (new)

Inda (indaherwood) I meant if you have recorded one on a device like a recorder. It always helps to hear it back because you catch little things that you miss while doing it live.


♪♫Gloria♫♪ Oh, no, i haven't.


message 13: by Renee (new)

Renee Ooh fellow songwriter here! HI!
Umm, so is it very slow seeing as it's about 12 lines in 4 mintues? and also, is it on piano or guitar or something else?
I like the lyrics, they're great lyrics!


message 14: by Renee (new)

Renee oh wait, you didn't put all of it up, okay, I understand. Don't worry.

Have you jade harmonies to go with it? I can imagine they would make it more prominent in the chorus at least. :D
And is it a fast or slower song? More like, what's the timbre of the song?


message 15: by ♪♫Gloria♫♪ (last edited Jun 05, 2013 05:23PM) (new)

♪♫Gloria♫♪ I put my answers in the bold.

Ooh fellow songwriter here! HI! Hi to you, too!
Umm, so is it very slow seeing as it's about 12 lines in 4 mintues? and also, is it on piano or guitar or something else? All i've got all the lyrics, i've been begging my mom for a while for her to let me take piano lessons, but that is still to happen. So, anyways, I'm planning on it being with the piano, maybe, MAYBE, a guitar, but it seems unlikely.
I like the lyrics, they're great lyrics! Thanks!

Have you jade harmonies to go with it? I can imagine they would make it more prominent in the chorus at least. :D I'm sorry, but can you explain more what you mean. Honestly, i didn't get any of that. Do you mean like an echo?
And is it a fast or slower song? More like, what's the timbre of the song? The timbre is more of a harsh, sad, and confessing quality.
Now that i think of it, i think i'm going to add a few things to my comment explaining it more.



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