part of my short story

[Katarina]

was a pretty, normal girl. I was the quiet, calm, and peaceful little girl that every parent wanted as their own child. Things were rough for the first few months, but that's a different story. Some of the best times of my life were before the age of five. I was, (and still am) the only girl in the children. Only I was alone then, now I have an absolutely crazy little brother who is six years old. But, back to me, I was the only little girl that absolutely HATED Barbie’s. They are so annoying!
Life was actually pretty good, well to a three year old. But, then again I thought that going potty by yourself was a big accomplishment to. Those were the days. Then, I had to start school, and that's, when the days were over

Please comment on what you think thank you

[Katarina]

I know its not finished but I want some opinions on it

[Emily Ann]

Hum...sounds like it could be cool tell me more about it.

[Taylor]

Eh…fix up your grammar a tad. The right "to" and "too" and stuff.

Other than that…I need more to the story. So far, I'm not super interested. It sounds like you're trying to make a stereotype-breaking character, but everyone does that.

[Katarina]

Well this is MY true story!!!!! This is like my perspective.. I guess that's what I'm trying to say....

[Taylor]

Oh, this is autobiographical? Ah:

[Sam~~ we cannot see the moon, and yet the waves still rise~~]

Hey Katarina! I think it's cool that you're writing a memoir. Can you give more details? Give an example of something that shows you were a "calm and peaceful child". How and why were things "difficult for the first few months"? Why did you think "those days" were so great? What did you do during "those days"? A lot of what you wrote here is very vague and I think it would be much more interesting to the reader if you went further with your description and details.
I like how you used a bit of humor here at the end.
Keep going, what you have here is a start!:)

[Taylor]

Also, figure out what makes your story worth telling. Not that it isn't, but I just don't see anything truly unique about this. Probably because of how vague it is, as Sam pointed out.

[Katarina]

Well it's just an outline so......

[Katarina]

Well it's just an outline so......

[Sam~~ we cannot see the moon, and yet the waves still rise~~]

Katarina wrote: "Well it's just an outline so......"

if it's an outline, why don't you organize it into bullet points? i think that way it'll be much easier for you to read and you'll be able to see clearly what you have and what is missing from it. :)

[Katarina]

Well when I said " outline" I was meaning as in a rough draft kind of outline thing....