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I guess I'm lucky that I don't work with people who would do that. I can understand why it would be disturbing.
That is too bad Leslie, I don't understand the logic behind moves like this.
Yea, I've encountered people like that too, in the past. I think all they think about is how it will make them look good, somehow, to catch a mistake. Usually they aren't really thinking of you at all. It still sucks, tho.
I used to get very, very pissed off about this kind of thing. About three years ago I was leading two and a half departments while completing a slew of outside work and dealing with a toxic staff member. I was up late, etc. and totally stressed. The only thing that got me past that period were a few mentors and people I trusted to help me develop strategy and remind me that this happened to everyone sooner or later.I've definitely learned that the people around you are a big part of what makes the job.
Yeah, there's seven of us that have to work together and there's always something going on. It makes me crazy sometimes!! I eat lunch with this lady every day. We work at home now, some of the time, and it's like everybody's worried that somebody else will have more days a week at home than somebody else. My connection went down and I didn't finish the work I was supposed to do and I forgot to email her and tell her that I was going to do it the next day. So she told my boss. I don't get it. I wouldn't go to my boss about crap like that, just something immoral or illegal or something. I wonder if I should say something to her or not.
That once happened to me, Leslie. I worked at a company that started out very small and we were all like family in the best way, team players, friends, etc. We slowly grew and got some youngsters who were a bit more corporate minded, and one went to my boss to complain about something. Pissed me off royally - again, why didn't he just come ask me? Fortunately my boss (and most people in the co.) were 100% behind me, but that killed alot of my love for the job. I've never played that corporate game, and it saddened me that our company was changing.
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I worked in an office that was of 7 women, and it was katty all the time! I don't know what it is about when a bunch of women (who aren't necessarily friends or alike) have to spend time together, it just gets so competitive and petty.I've always been more comfortable hanging or working around the guys (i.e. the engineers, the techies, the construction workers - all the laid back guys without something to prove or a need to kiss the boss's ass). Sorry girls. I usually only get along with women on a one on one basis (unless we're all really cool & on the same vibe).
Yeah, there's always something and I usually manage to stay clear, then once in a great while I get dragged in and it's hard to deal with. It makes me not want to go there at all. My boss is pretty cool, though, she doesn't overreact or get all upset about petty junk. She hates babysitting, but I'm sure she ends up doing a lot of it.
I understand what you're saying Sherrie, but I do feel what you're describing is a type of women, not all women. Women can be catty and gossipy and competitive, esp. when in groups; men can be insecure and arrogant.But there are plenty of women who even when working together do not fall prey to such behavior.
I have really close women friends; we often go out in a group (3 or 4 of us).
I've really close men friends as well.
I've a colleague at work I like a lot, but his arrogance really gets to me. Often it's not turned on me but on others; it doesn't matter.
I understand what you're saying Sherrie, but I do feel what you're describing is a type of women, not all women. Women can be catty and gossipy and competitive, esp. when in groups; men can be insecure and arrogant.But there are plenty of women who even when working together do not fall prey to such behavior.
Yes, I agree with this. I think it depends on the people more than the gender, although some gender patterns probably emerge to different degrees in every group.
all in all, a true friend is difficult to find. in the work world it is dog eat dog. some try to rise to the top by pushing someone else down a bit instead of using their own talent.
yeah, it's just 7 people--all women, but I don't think that's the problem, thrown together to do this job, each of us different, different values, different ways of being in the world, different life experiences. Some are nice and trustworthy, but my real friends are not at work.
Yea, I agree... it's not that I'm trying to get down on women, really. I just personally found more issues with groups of women than I did men. You know, common denominator in a repeating situation is usually the suspect (me). I didn't mean that all women are like that. I just have issues with women who are, and I tend to run into them a lot.Leslie, I think you hit the nail on the head. "my real friends are not at work" It's hard getting over some of the differences that are mixed up in the same office.
The kind that shoot bullets out of their brassieres?
In that company I talked about before, all us women were really tight and worked together without any of that cattiness and competitiveness. It was wonderful. And then at my next job, there was also none of that. It could also be that I don't work in corporate situations which I think tends to draw out the worst in people. As I've gotten older, I've perceived far less of that bitch factor, at least amongst older women. It's like we've all outgrown that BS and see each other as a sisterhood.
Leslie said "but my real friends are not at work" this is true. I have work friends and friend friends; early on in my career, I learned the difference. True friendship and job competition do not go hand in hand. If more people realized the fact that your job is daily competition to do better than the next person then “cattiness” would not figure into the equation. I do not think older woman are any less competitive, younger or older you want to not only survive but also thrive at work. Yes, in an ideal world, everyone would follow the golden rule but this is reality and jobs are becoming harder to find. Treat your coworkers with respect but also remember they are also your competition and your feelings will not be hurt (as much).
I work with almost all women (occupational hazard), and maybe there's something about libraries, and the fact that there's no corporate ladder to climb, but there's hardly any cattiness, ever, in my workplace.Okay, there's one woman we make fun of, but she works for King County, and she really deserves it.
Ivy, I think it depends on where you work. My work friends were my real friends, and even tho I moved across country 19 years ago we still are in communication. There was no competition, we all worked together to get the job done, not to outdo each other.
Okay, there's one woman we make fun of, but she works for King County, and she really deserves it.Oh I'm sure she does.
She's insufferable, Larry. It's more her manner than anything else. She's a real know-it-all, but her hairstyle doesn't help. Major product abuse, which gives her an alarming ducktail hair helmet.sigh
I don't LIKE being catty, but she makes it irresistable.
You do it well for someone without the motivation to do so. :)
That hair! Know-it-all hair like Trump.
That's funny :) I tend to just trust people and feel like they are my friends, because we chat and eat lunch together and give each other birthday gifts. But then something happens and it's like----OK, I guess I see where I stand. And there a few people in there who wouldn't do anything like that, ever, but only a few.
So, I get to go in tomorrow and just do what I always do. I'm glad I worked at home today. And I am making a point of communicating more, and I cc'd my boss, so she knows I'm doing it. That's where I screwed up to begin with, lack of communication. That's going to change. I still feel bugged about not coming to me, going straight to my boss, but that's the way some people do things.
It seems like we're all relieved we work at home now so we can be away from each other some, but then of course everybody is keeping score--'she got to work 4 days at home and I only got to work 3.' UGH!!!
Thank God we have our lives outside of work with family and real friends and real passions.
Leslie, what kind of work do you do?doesn't it seem sometimes that almost all of our problems with others, in life and love, can be traced to lack of communication?
Yes, I agree with that big time!! That's been one of my big weaknesses!I do medical coding for a hospital and it's a very good job, especially since I only had to go to school one year to qualitfy for it. I do in-patient charts with 6 other ladies, and we are all working at home some days and at the hospital some days. It's a big adjustment and we're having to communicate and work together on a whole new level. So...it's going to be ok, just another bump in the road--that's how I'm trying to look at all this, but it upset me quite a lot when it happened last week.
yeah, from what you told us, I'd not have liked that either--doesn't seem right.But it has been my experience that these bumps in the road do lead to smoother pathways, which wouldn't exist had not these conflicts erupted, so...
all good.
good luck with this--
Thank you--things are better, at least for me, learning to deal with these conflicts that come up. I'm not upset or mad anymore, just kind of like, Whatever.
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Are you guys dealing with this junk too? I guess everyone does at one time or another.