Can someone please help with my monologue?

[Kressel]

Only a B? Why? Ask her what needs to be tightened up. I think it's excellent.

[[deleted user]]

Did you read it to her? If you didn't maybe try and and some emotion in some spots and emphasis on words that really help the meaning. Remember monologues are for plays and they always have a lot of emotion involved.
Good Luck

[[deleted user]]

One more thing really step into the characters mind, when you preform this think of it as the character telling your class this not you, how would are they feeling at the time, what type of person are they, (strict, impassive overdramatic, ect.) If you truly believe you are the character you will do great.

[Sidna]

If you really get into character when you perform the piece for your class, your grade may go up.

Unless you are already at the maximum number of words for your personal response, you might mention how the racial prejudice of the times this book was written influenced the jury--that's what author Harper Lee wanted to convey in this book.

[Monty J]

N1rvana wrote: "For our monologue in my English class we have to choose one of the selected characters and choose a audience (I chose Tom talking to Atticus) Format (Monologue, and the Topic (Beliefs about the tri..."

Check the dialect against some passages from Huckleberry Finn. Twain was excellent at southern negro dialect.

[Alexis]

I'll say first that it has been a few years since I've read To Kill a Mockingbird, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt. Also this is meant to be constructive criticism, so I hope it helps you. If not, please ignore.
I felt that Tom wasn't a very verbal character. This is a very well written piece, I'm just not sure I can hear all of this coming from him. I just feel like Tom quite often only said as much as was required of him.
I would work on cutting down a lot, or taking the same things you say and finding a more raw, uneducated way to say them, and in the least amount of words possible. No offense meant to Tom, but he's not exactly eloquent (if my memory serves me). He's noble and hard working, but not eloquent. The strong and silent type.
It's written very well, however; concise and clear, as the requirement states.

[Monty J]

N1rvana wrote: "For our monologue in my English class we have to choose one of the selected characters and choose a audience (I chose Tom talking to Atticus) Format (Monologue, and the Topic (Beliefs about the tri..."

Get in front of a mirror and practice, practice, practice. Better yet, get in front of someone and have them film you. Go to readings or performances and watch how an actor incorporates mannerisms that define the character. Every human being has mannerisms. Watch the hands and the eyes. Body language is every bit as powerful as the spoken word.

But you have to practice them until you feel "in character" when you read.

And don't be surprised if you feel, when you're doing this, an emotional reaction consistent with how that character might react. Go with it. Be proud that you have connected in this way with that character's needs: to be heard, understood, acknowledged, to have justice, to...