The Rory Gilmore Book Club discussion
Music, Movies, & Miscellany
>
Heath Ledger found dead
date
newest »
newest »
I think that your point about the loss of a parent being different from any other death in a person's life is true, but at the same time it is something that almost all people go through. I lost my mom to breast cancer about 2 years ago and it's true that it's a pain that stays with you for always, but there are so many people who are in the same situation so there is always someone you can talk to about it. I heard Roseann Cash in an interview on NPR talking about how hard she found it after her dad died and that she couldn't believe that most people would experience this same pain. I guess no matter who, no matter when the loss of a loved one hurts.
Mod
In saying this, I completely agree with you that loosing a parent is particularly heartrending. I didn't even feel that the heartbreak you expressed for the daughter was in any way saying anything more than that you were very sorry for her loss. It's just when you added the other it rather felt like a poke regarding past comments by me and others. Still, that's not why I responded. I responded to clarify the original point ages ago to try to show that I don't in fact disagree with your sadness for the child for those reasons.
But forgive me, most sincerely, for injuring you. Please don't back down! Your boldness and strong opinions are wonderful!
Let me give you another silly example of the oddities of people's perspectives... those "baby on board" signs. Sorry? I want drivers to be just as careful driving around my mum or best friend or me, regardless of if there is a baby there or not! I ADORE children, and have fiercely protected them when occasions have arisen, but still as someone who has been single for quite some time I find some of these things odd or funny or tragic, depending. Most of all, the attitude of many parents is what my contention lies with... but Courtney covered that well in the other thread!
Anyway, I hope we are good. Good points, Olive.
Sarah, don't feel bad, you didn't offend me! I hear what everyone is saying, and the fact is that each person's loss, no matter the relation, is different and painful in different ways and at different levels.
Each perspective is valid as are anyone's personal feelings. We can say someone is lucky for what they had, or unlucky because they lost it. It all goes back to the whole "is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" question!
As to what you said Olive, I agree, I do think that one of the most important things when you lose a loved one is to be able to find someone, whether an individual, or a therapist or a group that can identify with some of the specifics to your situation. I found when I lost my brother that I didn't begin to come to terms with my emotions and pain until I joined a Survivors of Suicide group. Just having people around that know what you are going through was the most invaluable tool that I had in dealing.
At the same time, my father and I bonded even more than we ever had over the loss because we reacted in similar ways, different than other people in our family. And later on in my life I bonded with someone I consider a very good friend because she lost a sibling, although in a different way. But we had the same relationship dynamic and sudden loss to deal with. Unfortunately grief is one of the most complicated things to deal with. I just hope that his friends and family find someone who can be a shoulder and an ear for them so that they can eventually watch his movies and read articles about him and feel joy at seeing him again rather than pain.
BTW Thanks for the 'shout out' on my previous post Michelle!
OH yeah, and Michelle, speaking of feeling for him because he seemed decent vs other stars, that is why I actually teared up when John Ritter died. He seemed like the kind of guy you could meet in the grocery store and would chat with you in line! One of the only famous people I actually teared up about! Don't get me wrong, it is sad when ANYone dies, but I can't expend that much emotion on people I don't know! I am WAY emotional so I have to hold it in til I really have to let loose!
Let's just call it a misunderstanding and move on.
According to the news this morning, they are officially saying it was an accidental overdose of six different prescription drugs. Two for pain, two for anxiety, and two for sleeping.
Truly, truly sad. Thanks for updating the info Sarah.
Mod
I guess this is just one of those things we disagree on. I don't think his life is any more valuable than, say, mine (as I don't have kids) but I do think it's perfectly OK to be sad for his daughter. Or for any child who loses a parent. And yes, all the family and friends will have a difficult time grieving with this loss. But talk to anyone who's lost a parent and I think they'll tell you that it's not the same as any other death they may have experienced.
Anyway, I don't want to offend anyone further by commenting more on this subject. I just feel like I can't say anything right. Even when I don't say ANYTHING I offend someone. I don't get it.
So, anyway, apologies to all. Please everyone, know that I never MEAN to be offensive and I'm sorry.