More organic method to the argument version 2

[Christopher]

The third meditation in Descartes is where God is mentioned. We need God because we are finite people and do not have all the answers. I need God because I know I don’t have the strength to do everything I should and so I rely on God to get me through the day with my effort. I believe that if we try our best and believe God will help us, then whatever we are facing will be overcome. Without God, the things that get me through the day could not be explained. Whenever I feel like quitting, I get encouraged by God through other people at the most important moments that seem to come from nowhere. There is no testing God, and I can understand why placing trust in a God is difficult. If I have five dollars and I need to eat, but someone else clearly is in more need than myself. The decision to give the five dollars becomes my personal faith that God will provide for me vs. my responsibility care for this body which God has given me. I have found the more I give, the more I find these proofs of faith in life that happen at the absolute perfect moment. Yes life is a test, a test of love. It could be something as simple as I feel a spiritual pull to look in a certain direction. It could be something as simple to stop and look at a flower for a couple of minutes. The real and present challenge is to be open to letting God give you a quality of life. Jesus says how he provides for the birds of the field with food, so how much more will he provide for us whom he loves more? Jesus tells us that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we could move a mountain. The more we give of ourselves while not forgetting ourselves, the more our faith will increase as a fruit of gift, because God will provide for us when it is most important. This is how Jesus performed miracles, through faith. But things cannot come from no-where, to perfectly align these small motivational occurrences and little invitations to eat, or simply the chance to be humbled by others in order to see goodness in everyone, marks a perfection that I cannot describe in words.
There are moments when events in our lives cannot be explained in scientific knowledge. Without the underlying fabric that makes up this life in its most important moments, I would be utterly lost and be thrown completely to the wind and have no understanding of why things happen. This knowledge of understanding why things happen, or the relation of the event in time, is what really gets my attention. The timing really displays a unity of perfection that no human mind can conceive but given a chance to experience. These little gaps in reality where life becomes most real time seems to stop and presents to us what makes God knowable. Being trained to observe these little moments is allowing God to create for you a new metaphysical world where the present moment is alive and dynamic. The one characteristic of a new meta-physical world is to not know what will come next. This mystery of life, of truly not knowing where or how God will lead us in our life is what makes the present moment so enjoyable and frightening. We may be called to another country or a homeless shelter in the local town. The area is unknown, but we know God through the small signals that require training in openness to observe. As is the character of God, when I think about God, I think of something infinite and beyond understanding. When I compare the idea of God to the idea of a house, I know the house is finite because I can see a frame in my imagination that is blue and has two windows. When I conceive of God, my mind cannot conceive an image because my minds’ concept of God is beyond the imagination, but rather encompasses the entire cognition. If I am forced to generate an image, I generate an old man with a white beard in rays of lights and clouds of different illuminations. But again to conceive of what exactly God is, I cannot do that, because my objective reality is God. The mind must focus on an object. When my minds’ focus is on an infinite being, my formal finite mind cannot comprehend that. Because I cannot comprehend what God is as being the unity of all perfection, I know that something must have caused me to be befuddled. Since effects get their reality from the cause, I can conclude the cause of my bewilderment of God, is God. God is what God is. And so the idea of the God is just that.
Now all I have to do is show I did not just generate the idea of God. I know I am not omniscient because my knowledge is finite, that is, I can only know so much about God, which is what God wants to reveal to me. But as long as I can remember I have had this idea of God. I am certain I did not create myself since I was born with innate ideas. My first memory is being in my bed room hovering over my bed at night facing the two windows looking outward as if in a dream where I could decide if I wanted to go to heaven. I said yes and I immediately began to start rising from the bed towards heaven. Out of fear of the grief of knowing the pain my parents would feel of my not being born, I changed my mind because I did not want to go to heaven yet and returned to my bed room, was given a body and ran to my dad, with the body of a five year old just coming up above his belt, which would put me being able to run at almost three feet tall. My next memory is me being roughly three years old sitting in the living room playing with hot-wheels, unable to speak. It was the smoky and the bandit car. Even in this state which I equate to my first memory in the womb is an estimated guess by my spiritual director, consisted of ideas’ of God, heaven, dad and mom, and angels, life and death, and pain, the rest were worked out as images of hallway, legs, blue jeans, brown belt, and carpet. I know I was born with these ideas. These ideas are the most real. God is the only one who can create an idea, because while I was given the choice to exist in this world, I still did not give birth to myself, nor conceive of my own ideas, since I clearly reacted out of fear of pain for my parents, and secondly out of fear of the consequences of my death, chose to live this life, but I did not cause my coming into being, and so I did not create the idea of God.