Story Intro

[Nada]

I started writing this story a while back but did not complete it. This would supposedly be the first short chapter of it. I'd like to know what you think:

http://nadanessinmotion.blogspot.com/...

I mostly write longer pieces but since this was written during a short story writing workshop, time constraints made it rather short.

I will be updating it soon :)

[Francis]

Puzzled by the use of arousing rather than rousing - unless there is as much pleasure as pain in that cruel awakening...

[Nada]

Francis wrote: "Puzzled by the use of arousing rather than rousing - unless there is as much pleasure as pain in that cruel awakening..."

That's a typo. Thank you for noticing. Will amend it now.
Anything else?

[Francis]

Doesn't have to be a typo - you could create a world where sunlight is a sexual kink, a moment's exposure like the crack of a whip, a fusion of pain and pleasure...

[Nada]

It kind of doesn't go with the storyline I had in mind. Will keep that in mind for the coming parts for possible twists.

[Francis]

Mmm... :-)
The OED's definition of kink starts: "A short twist ..."

(I'll shut up now - write it the way you want to, and ignore my daftness!)

[Nada]

Hahaha.. I like it :D