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Do you have rules for loaning your books?

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message 1: by Noah (new)

Noah Sturdevant (noahksturdevant) | 173 comments This may seem a little curmudgeonly (can't believe I spelled that right on the first try), but after numerous experiences lending books to my brother that resulted in missing, torn, water damaged, and dog-chewed books, I started to make rules for loaning out my books.

1. Treat my book with respect. Don't eat while reading it, don't lick your fingers before turning pages, don't fold the corners because you are too lazy to get a book mark, etc. Also, don't take my book into the bathroom with you. Seriously, gross.

2. If you lose or mangle my book, you agree to replace it with a similar edition, ex. hardback for a hardback. The replacement does not need to be new, but try to get something in relatively good condition.

3. Don't loan my book to someone else without asking me first.

4. I don't lend my autographed books. Sorry.

5. If I have lent you books in the past, I claim the right to peruse your library as well. Pay it forward.

Does anyone else have rules for lending?


message 2: by Lit Bug (new)

Lit Bug | 287 comments Yes. I loan only those books that are not strictly my prized possessions, that are easily available in shops in case my copy is damaged, and lend to someone who is really careful about books and has no issues with reimbursing any damage arising later.


message 3: by Candice (new)

Candice Nunu (nunu_noodles) | 52 comments I used to have rules, but my family literally turn up on my doorstep with a box, load up then wander off, only to return a month later with books barely intact, covers falling off, coffee stains, food stains, etc etc etc. And that's if I actually get them back at all before they give them to uncles/cousins etc without bothering to ask if it's alright.
My family are all voracious readers, but have never held the actual book in any kind of esteem or with any kind of respect.
I've given up :(


message 4: by Lit Bug (new)

Lit Bug | 287 comments Candice wrote: "I used to have rules, but my family literally turn up on my doorstep with a box, load up then wander off, only to return a month later with books barely intact, covers falling off, coffee stains, f..."

Then I'd stop loaning books, and hide them from people bent upon getting them... sigh


message 5: by Candice (new)

Candice Nunu (nunu_noodles) | 52 comments Haha, you've obviously never met my mother! I tell her she can't have any while she's taking them and she just tells me to stop being so fussy.
Ah, mothers.


message 6: by Noah (new)

Noah Sturdevant (noahksturdevant) | 173 comments Agreed. My brother was cut off from my library for quite some time until he could show a little respect for my property. You wouldn't drive a borrowed car through broken class and into trees before returning it, so why is it OK to trash a book?


message 7: by Lit Bug (new)

Lit Bug | 287 comments Candice wrote: "Haha, you've obviously never met my mother! I tell her she can't have any while she's taking them and she just tells me to stop being so fussy.
Ah, mothers."


LOL, family's family... one can't do anything about them...


message 8: by Lit Bug (new)

Lit Bug | 287 comments Mr. Noah wrote: "Agreed. My brother was cut off from my library for quite some time until he could show a little respect for my property. You wouldn't drive a borrowed car through broken class and into trees before..."

I don't defend it, but I guess because a book's cheaper than a car... :(


message 9: by Noah (new)

Noah Sturdevant (noahksturdevant) | 173 comments Well, I've had some pretty cheap cars, but yeah. Still, it seems like this is about the only thing you can borrow from someone and get away with messing up. I wonder why that is?


message 10: by Camilla (new)

Camilla Hansen (malazanshadowdancer) | 64 comments Even though a few friends have somewhat the same taste in books, we differ enough for me to have my books to myself. Luckily, I'm a bit fussy about my treasures :o
My dad likes to grab a few things now and then... Family, indeed.
At least he has respect for books. I just wish he would give them back within the year, not 5.


message 11: by Lit Bug (new)

Lit Bug | 287 comments Mr. Noah wrote: "Well, I've had some pretty cheap cars, but yeah. Still, it seems like this is about the only thing you can borrow from someone and get away with messing up. I wonder why that is?"

Well, people know that you won't be as mad at them for spoiling a book like you would be if they messed your car... isn't it!!!


message 12: by Matthew (new)

Matthew Jackman | 4 comments I only have a rule for myself. If I lend it, don't have any expectations.

I'd much rather introduce the people I know to books I enjoy than get upset about what condition they come back in.


message 13: by Kevin (new)

Kevin | 701 comments Yes, just one: I don't lend books.

The only book I ever lent to someone was a scarred, fraying mess when I got it back. So that was the end of that. I'm a bit particular. I usually manage to read paperbacks without even cracking the spine. (This is harder with the 800+ page ones unfortunately :( )

If someone really wants to read a book I have, or I think someone would be really into a book I just read, I just buy an extra copy and give it to them as a gift.


message 14: by Richard (new)

Richard I don't lend books out.

If I let you have the book I'm not expecting to see it back, what you choose to do afterwards is up to you; return it, lend it to someone else or give it to the charity shop I don't mind.

My wife, however, will lend books out that I do want to see again and wonders why I get upset, but then she's a librarian :)


message 15: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (deckfullojokers) | 55 comments I lend to those who I know have respect for their own books. If I know that someone bends spines or bangs their own books around, then I'm much less likely to let them borrow one of my books. I like a common understanding and equal standards between loaners is awesome. My friend has just as high of standards as I do so I am careful to treat her books just as carefully as my own.

That said, I generally allow new friends to borrow books with just a strict warning. But this possessiveness/obsessiveness is not limited to my books.

You should see me around my great-grandmother's white couch...


message 16: by Louise (new)

Louise (louiseh87) | 352 comments I once lent a friend my copy of the Earthsea Quartet, and she decided to let her dad borrow it and I think he took it abroad and it got totally trashed. Fortunately, it had already been through sitting in my luggage bag on a quayside in the rain, so it didn't look great to begin with.

My dad told me, "don't lend books or money". If I give someone either, I'm really not expecting them back :)


message 17: by Dara (new)

Dara (cmdrdara) | 2702 comments The last books I loaned I got back in good condition but I didn't get them back for over a year so I don't loan them anymore. The only person who I let borrow my books is my mum but that's because I live at home and can't exactly stop her. She normally doesn't destroy them. Except my Game of Thrones book but that was a crappy mass market paperback and everyone who borrowed that kind of destroyed it a little.


message 18: by CJ (new)

CJ | 14 comments I have always been a book loaner, and I always understand that when I do, the book may be gone forever. That being said, there are certain books that I WILL NOT loan out. Occasionally, I've loaned out these non-loaners accompanied with a stern threat of a horrible death should the book not return to me--and in the same condition. I have not killed anyone but I guess the threat was pretty scary at least once because a dude I loaned a book to once wound up in jail--and he called a friend to go get the book and take it back to me. I still think that's kind of funny.

My philosophy has changed some now so that, if I really love a book by a living author, especially if it's a first book, I'll recommend that my friends buy it, but I won't loan it--that way, my buds are more likely to go get a new copy and support the writer financially, as well as by enjoying his/her art.


message 19: by Rasnac (new)

Rasnac | 336 comments I don't loan books ever. It was the first rule I learned from my grandfather who enherited me a great library full of books(he had six children and 12 grandkids and every one of those kids got at least a thousand books). "There is only one trick to have a collection like this" he said, "Don't ever loan books to anyone. Written paper is the most valuable thing in the world". I never loan books (when I give someone a book, it is a present), I never throw away printed paper of any sort(newspapers, magazines, art catalogues etc.). I don't buy or read e-books. When I die, all my books will go to my favourite public library, or to my nephew if he grows up to be a good reader and keeper of books.


message 20: by Candice (new)

Candice Nunu (nunu_noodles) | 52 comments Too true guys! At least my family ruining my books has allowed me to be ok without worrying condition they come back to me in :)


message 21: by Igor (last edited Mar 19, 2013 11:26AM) (new)

Igor (igork) | 105 comments All my friends know exactly how I feel about my books so they look after them. Sadly, my library becomes more and more digital one ever since I bought Kindle. I still buy paperbacks and hardcovers but in such a low number comparing to a digital ones that soon enough there will be no lending books... sad isn't it?


message 22: by Jason (new)

Jason (macshaggy) | 74 comments Honestly I've never lent (lenses) any books. If someone I know wants to read a story I've given them the book. If the don't return then so be it. I usually have my email address in the book with a note: "If you have found this book then please email me if you liked it. If you don't read please give to someone who does. Knowledge is power!" Or something to that effect. It's just something that I've always done. I've slowly converted most of my books to digital which means I get to retain those books I lend.


message 23: by Raul (new)

Raul Padilla | 2 comments I've never lent my books out to anyone, but that's only mostly because no one I know are into the same things I read. My mother is a huge reader, but she loves James Patterson and other crime thriller types. Not my kind of genre. If there were someone that wanted a book I had, It'd really depend on how attached to the book I am. I probably would never lend ot my copy of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy with all of the stories in a faux leather bible looking cover, or my copy of the Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, but I'd have no problem lending out the diskworld or Chuck Palahniuk books I've already read. I'm probably just fortunate that I haven't had the bad experiences you guys have had.


message 24: by Allison (new)

Allison Virtue | 8 comments I love books. Love books. This does not mean that I take care of them. I read voraciously. I read while eating, I read while walking, I read while I'm falling asleep and the book will slide out of my hand and crash to the floor. So, my books are loved, not pretty.

This makes it much easier to lend them out. Because for me, it's all about sharing the love of the story. So if the books get messed up, or left in another state, or not returned for years, but the person LOVES THE STORY, it's alright with me.

This is actually my main problem with e-readers. It's much harder to lend.

Also, I give the above paragraph as fair warning whenever somebody lends their books to me. I'll do my very best to take care of your book, but I don't have a lot of practice. No hard feelings if you'd rather not lend to me.


message 25: by library_jim (new)

library_jim | 212 comments I don't mind lending books. I don't lend everything and more and more I get it on audio from the library or get it on my Kindle, so it's not share-able, but much of my physical books are lendable. I don't share signed stuff (much) but my wife and I love recommending books so we've actually gotten physical copies of books we read on other media just to be able to lend them out. If they don't come back (this happens) or get torn up (doesn't happen much) then whatever. I'm not a big re-reader so it doesn't bother me that much.

Now if I had a family like Candice's I'd get all passive-aggressive and buy really crappy used books to have on the shelves for them and hide my good stuff where they couldn't get to it.


message 26: by Candice (new)

Candice Nunu (nunu_noodles) | 52 comments My new ereader is my secret weapon ;) And since i'm in nz people rarely have kindles, so I can easily just give people the books on a usb stick or transfer it to their ereader from my comp with no fuss at all!
The glory!


message 27: by Jason (new)

Jason (macshaggy) | 74 comments Candice wrote: "My new ereader is my secret weapon ;) And since i'm in nz people rarely have kindles, so I can easily just give people the books on a usb stick or transfer it to their ereader from my comp with no ..."

I don't know if you know about it but try Calibre for your computer. It'll catalog all the ebooks you have and you can transfer them to and from your Kindle from within the app. Also, there are some plugins that will strip some of the DRM off. The app doesn't do it but it'll direct to where you can find them. I find it very useful and easier to then lend(give) the books to people with ereaders.


Ruth (tilltab) Ashworth | 1916 comments I don't lend books out often, and when I do, I have an expectation that the borrower will treat the book with the extreme care that I would give to anything they treasured. I actually dislike borrowing books to an extent (though - yay, free reading!), because I have to read extra carefully in order to make as little mark as possible, which can be tricky with thick paperbacks. I am overly aware of every little crease that may result from my attempts to see the pages. I think of such care as an unwritten rule; one that shouldn't need to be clarified. If I find that people have mistreated my books it is always a shock to me, sort of like they smiled then slapped me in the face. Once I merely showed a friend a cute little art book I own, and the first thing she did was to bend the spine right back, then she pawed a page so roughly that a crease formed around her finger even though the book was made from thick, good quality paper! I was utterly mortified that she would treat a thing with such disrespect, and needless to say I kept her away from my things after that. Hmmm, I suddenly wonder whether there may be some correlation between this, and the fact that we are no longer friends. A friend should respect the things you care about. You shouldn't have to ask them to.


message 29: by Carrie (new)

Carrie  (icanhasbooks) | 66 comments Depends on the book really, when I loan a book to someone (most times my mom) I show it to them and say "look at the book, I've read this and still looks good" meaning don't ruin my book. Bring it back the way it went out. Also I will not loan one that I haven't read myself, it is my treasure I get to be the one who cracks it open.


message 30: by LegalKimchi (new)

LegalKimchi | 112 comments I don't loan my Books, generally. My books don't look like they have been read. When reading a book, i only open it 3 inches so no creases form on the spine.
I take people to half priced books or make recommendation, but i don't loan books unless the other person is someone with the same stick-in-butt nature.


message 31: by Travis (new)

Travis (the_hero_of_canton) It's simple. Either the book makes it back in one piece or you don't.


message 32: by terpkristin (new)

terpkristin | 4191 comments No rules for books I loan out but there are books I don't loan out. I have bought an extra mass market paperback copy of a couple of books so that I would have a copy I could loan out...


message 33: by Gary (last edited Mar 19, 2013 07:03PM) (new)

Gary I have rules for lending books, but mostly for myself rather than for those I might lend them to.

First, I never lend a book that I actually plan on reading again, refer to on a semi-regular basis, or one that I just like having around. If someone wants to borrow one of these books, they get a simple "sorry, I need that one" and I leave it at that.

Second, I don't lend out any particularly valuable books. That is, a signed copy, a very old edition, etc.

Third, and maybe most important, I don't expect lent books to be returned. Some people who "borrow" books (or anything, really) have a very different understanding of that word than I do, and I've come to expect that sort of behavior. If I don't expect them to be returned, I don't get upset when they are not.

If a book comes back beat up or not at all, then I'm not really worried about it if I abide by my own rules. I do judge the character of the person who did the borrowing, though.... In the long run, that means they might not get to borrow anything else, and I probably wouldn't count on them for anything serious.


message 34: by Darren (new)

Darren terpkristin wrote: "No rules for books I loan out but there are books I don't loan out. I have bought an extra mass market paperback copy of a couple of books so that I would have a copy I could loan out..."

This.

Sometimes I "loan" books out knowing I'll never see them again, in the hope that that friend will enjoy them. Some I would never ever loan. I guess if I had a rule it would be that I won't loan a book I couldn't bear to lose, or see damaged.


message 35: by a_tiffyfit (new)

a_tiffyfit | 8 comments I no longer lend books. All the ones that I'm itching for my friends to read, I loan out and they either keep them or return them damaged.

Instead, I just give them away. If I really like the book, I'll buy it again later when I can!


message 36: by Matthew (new)

Matthew (matthewdl) | 341 comments I'm the same as a lot of you. When I lend books out (which isn't often- my family doesn't read a whole lot) I do so understanding they'll probably come back damaged... if they come back at all. Sometimes I'll ask for a book back after a while if I really want to reread it. But if I know it's pretty damaged I'll usually just buy it again.


message 37: by John (new)

John Wiswell | 86 comments I only loan books to friends I trust, or of copies that are so beaten up or unvalued that I won't be pained to lose them. Definitely had some books disappear after loans in the past. But mostly, I'm just happy to share something I think a friend would like. Over the years it seems more like my friends want to go buy their own copy rather than asking for mine - part of that "pay it forward" culture.


message 38: by Eric (new)

Eric Lawson | 8 comments My only rule is that the book comes back in a similar condition that it left my bookshelf in. If they damage the book they replace it.


message 39: by Madeleine (new)

Madeleine (ramblingmads) | 3 comments Yep. I'm a former librarian and people treat books really badly. I have certain books that are not on loan to anyone ever, including to my best friend, partner or even my fellow bookworm friends. Those that I will lend have to be returned in exactly the condition as loaned and I have even been known to lend bookmarks as well so as to prevent anyone dogearing the pages or bending the spine to keep their place. I get a bit tetchy with people who borrow books for months on end and don't seem to even bother reading it. I apply my rules to when I borrow books from others too.


message 40: by Candice (new)

Candice Nunu (nunu_noodles) | 52 comments I get you Madeleine! That's a good idea actually, subtley providing a bookmark to let people know you're not a person ok with page folding.
I work in a bookstore, and you would not believe the amount of customers we get that stop to read parts of books (fine) and bend the front cover and subsequent read pages AROUND the spine to behind the book, completely damaging the stock and ruining its chances of purchase. *shakes fist*


Ruth (tilltab) Ashworth | 1916 comments My goodness, Candice! I want you to know that I read your post with a look of pure horror on my face at the very thought of people treating things that don't belong to them in such a way! Perhaps it is actually a good thing I never managed to get a job in a book shop or library - I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself from wringing peoples necks in protest!


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