VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE discussion

Twilight (The Twilight Saga, #1)
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ANTI-TWILIGHT RANTS > My Official List of Problems I have with Twilight-Part 2

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message 1: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (last edited Mar 09, 2013 03:31PM) (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
5.) Story Structure. Basically.......there is no plot!!! The majority of the book is just Bella going on and on and on about how gorgeous and perfect Edward is. The only time an actual plot arrives, is the part where James shows up and tries to kill Bella. This, however, gets screwed up as well.

Here is a simple plot diagram. Similar to the one I learned about when I was a kid...


Here is what Stephenie Meyer did...



6.) Two of the greatest authors of our time, Stephen King and Anne Rice, have come out and basically ripped up Meyer's writing. King said,"...Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.", while Rice says that Meyer's work is, "...a failure of the imagination.". Now, I'm not a writer, but I think that I agree with them!

7.) VAMPIRES!!!!!!!!!! This is my major problem with this book! I have been a fan of vampire stories ever since I was a kid. I mean, I grew up on movies like The Lost Boys, Near Dark, Fright Night, Blade and From Dusk Till Dawn just to name a few. I also loved shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Forever Knight. When I got to college I read great vampire novels like Bram Stoker's Dracula,Salem's Lot, The Light at the End and Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles as well as Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter Series. Then....Twilight came along.

So...vampires. Yeah, let's talk about that for a minute. Okay, what do we know about vampires?!?Well, the mythology differs from the fiction. The belief in vampires has been known throughout the world since the beginning of time, and the descriptions vary from culture to culture. In the fiction, however, it differs from the original vampire myth. So, what is in most of the fictional stories? Alright; they suck blood, they sleep in coffins, they sport a pair of fangs, sunlight usually burns them to ash, wooden stakes kill them, they are not big on garlic, crosses and holy water. Silver hurts them (yes, that is vampires too, not just werewolves), they need to be invited to enter your home, they cast no reflection in mirrors, they have no souls, the list goes on. There are many Interpretations on the vampire myth, and I have no problem with an author or film maker who wants to slightly bend the rules and do put their own fresh spin on things.

However, it is one thing to do an interpretation and another thing entirely to just throw everything out the window and do something completely ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, Meyer's creations sparkle in the sunlight, they don't sleep at all, they have flowery breath, almost nothing can kill them, they don't even have fangs...basically the only thing that makes them vampiric is that they have to drink blood.

STEPHENIE'S MEYER'S "VAMPIRES" ARE AN ABOMINATION! MEYER HAS COME ALONG AND TAKEN SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN POPULAR FOR OVER TWO HUNDRED YEARS AND BASTARDIZED IT! SHE HAS RUINED THE VAMPIRE MYTH! IT IS AN ABSOLUTE CORRUPTION OF THE GENRE! TWILIGHT HAS CASTRATED THE VAMPIRE!

Here's the thing. Stephenie Meyer has admitted in interviews that she wrote a vampire story, without ever reading a single vampire novel or even watching a vampire movie or TV show. WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT????!!!!!! I mean, don't they say, "If you're going to write, write about what you know."?? Well, Meyer really doesn't know anything about vampires at all.

Basically, as far as vampire movies go, she said that her husband tried to get her to watch The Lost Boys but she just couldn't do it because, "...it was just too creepy." She also said that she tried to watch Interview with the Vampire when it was on TV, but she said that she kind of "...always goes YUCK" everytime she sees it.

As far as vampire novels go, she said that the only vampire book she has tried to read is The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova The Historian by Elizabeth Kostavo (which is supposed to be a great book, a couple of people have actually recommended that one to me). However, that was after she wrote Twilight, and she said she couldn't finish the damned thing anyway because it "pissed her off".
Here is what she has to say about other people's vampire stories...

"I can't read other people's vampires. If it's too close [to my writing], I get upset; if it's too far away, I get upset. It just makes me very neurotic."---STEPHENIE MEYER

Hmmm....narrow minded much there, Steph?
She also says that she did not research vampire mythology before writing Twilight. However, on page 133 of Twilight, she has Bella look up vampires on the internet, and she finds a website called "Vampires A-Z". Now, while I was reading that part, I went and looked that up. Yes it is a real website, and it is exactly the way Meyer described it. However, I read in an article that she said she barely read the damned thing! So, really this woman did no real research.

JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING DOESN'T EXIST, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MAKE UP WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT IT!!!!!

You know what I think is the secret behind all this bullshit, is that SHE ACTUALLY HATES VAMPIRES! And that her original intention when writing Twilight, was to ruin them.

So, yeah, thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for coming along and smashing my favorite childhood toys (I could almost cry, I'm serious!).


message 2: by Kimberly, Supreme Hater of Twilight, lover of all other things vampiric (new)

Kimberly (kimberly_3238) | 97 comments Mod
Still LMAO at Stephanie Meyer's "plot diagram...."


Megan Schmit | 37 comments Agree


message 4: by Carla, out for blood of watered down vamps (new) - rated it 2 stars

Carla | 73 comments Mod
from your 1st list of problems to this list I am seriously LMAO... totally agree... and Meyer's "plot diagram" AWESOME!!!


message 5: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
Thanks, Carla. There is meant to be some humor to it, but it really is an attack on the evil Stephenie Meyer.


message 6: by Carla, out for blood of watered down vamps (new) - rated it 2 stars

Carla | 73 comments Mod
no i get it but it still makes me chuckle. i love how you just lay it all out there. we all think it but you have the balls to say it!! & while yes i've read all of the series my contempt grew more the more i read. i had NO idea she was so "opposed" to vampires, that she had never even read a book or watched a classic The Lost Boys. It explains the lack of depth or genuine feel to her "sparkle"


message 7: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
LOL....thank you. Yes I needed to get all that out there. I was originally going to post this on another site and title it "Stephenie Meyer I hope you're reading this" because I read that she likes to google herself.


message 8: by Kimberly, Supreme Hater of Twilight, lover of all other things vampiric (new)

Kimberly (kimberly_3238) | 97 comments Mod
Carla's comment about the "lack of depth" is right on. I was absolutely in shock to hear that she never "researched" her subject prior to writing about them. If you're going to take a classic character and morph it into your own version, you should at least take the time to learn about said character before ripping it apart completely.


message 9: by Char (new)

Char I think the question of "Are you masturbating" says it all. LOL


message 10: by Kimberly, Supreme Hater of Twilight, lover of all other things vampiric (new)

Kimberly (kimberly_3238) | 97 comments Mod
Charlene wrote: "I think the question of "Are you masturbating" says it all. LOL"

LOL! That does seem to sum up her mindset....


message 11: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
I'm glad you guys are enjoying it.


message 12: by Keair (new)

Keair Snyder | 22 comments Dan wrote: "5.) Story Structure. Basically.......there is no plot!!! The majority of the book is just Bella going on and on and on about how gorgeous and perfect Edward is. The only time an actual plot arrives..."

After reading your initial post and the comments that followed, it appears that fans of actual vampires have the same complaints with the freakishly long-living humans with skin conditions that Myers' tried to pass off as vampires. In fact, I think I said nearly the same thing about Myers and her lack of research that Kimberly said in one of the above comments in my initial post about my problems with Stephanie Myers. I have never read or listened to any interviews with Myers but reading her quotes that you posted puts everything into perspective. Not only does she know nothing about vampires, she can't stand them, like you said. She lacks respect for vampires as characters and as mythical creatures and she lacks respect for people who enjoy them. As a writer, I would never dream of writing about something I felt that way about. I am not a big werewolf fan. I never have been. So I solve that problem by writing about vampires, creatures I've always enjoyed immensely, and I leave the subject of werewolves to those that enjoy them. If she had been a writer with any integrity, she would have done the same. Then again, I think calling her a writer at all is a major stretch. She destroyed the concept of vampires, she went after Anne Rice in the press, and then she has the nerve to say she can't read vampire fiction? Again, I restate that she has no right to the millions she has earned.


message 13: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
Keair wrote: "Dan wrote: "5.) Story Structure. Basically.......there is no plot!!! The majority of the book is just Bella going on and on and on about how gorgeous and perfect Edward is. The only time an actual ..."

Wait a minute....when did Stephenie Meyer go after Anne Rice???


message 14: by Keair (new)

Keair Snyder | 22 comments Dan wrote: "Keair wrote: "Dan wrote: "5.) Story Structure. Basically.......there is no plot!!! The majority of the book is just Bella going on and on and on about how gorgeous and perfect Edward is. The only t..."

It was about three or four years ago. Anne had made some comment when asked if Lestat would attack Edward that was basically along the lines of Lestat would never attack someone less mentally capable then himself....however she worded it, she called Edward a retard. lmao Stephanie then took to the press talking shit about Anne's vampires, her writing style, everything. She also made some comment about how Anne had no idea how hard it was because she only wrote about vampires and Meyer's writes about vampires and werewolves. Anne responded back on Larry King or something like that but for the most part, she ignored her. Shortly after that, she released her first werewolf novel. I always kind of thought that was a fuck you to Stephanie....hahahaha


message 15: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
Keair wrote: "Dan wrote: "Keair wrote: "Dan wrote: "5.) Story Structure. Basically.......there is no plot!!! The majority of the book is just Bella going on and on and on about how gorgeous and perfect Edward is..."

What a bitch. Everytime someone criticizes Meyer she has to act like a five year old girl. I'm gonna go look on the internet, see if theres anything up about it, and post it on here.


Benjamin (BinjaNInja) | 20 comments this is probably old news but Stephen king straight said twilight was horrible and miss meyer could write for a darn lol


message 17: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
Benjamin wrote: "this is probably old news but Stephen king straight said twilight was horrible and miss meyer could write for a darn lol"

LOL...it is old news but I love hearing it over and over again.


message 18: by Benjamin (last edited Jun 02, 2014 03:41PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Benjamin (BinjaNInja) | 20 comments ok so for the past few hours today I've been reading the fifth twilight book "midnight sun" it's a rough draft that was never published because someone leaked it to the internet it's about 260 pages long with print at about 20 font and double spaced with that said I would like to say it was probably the most redundant piece of trash I have ever read not only was it boring and unimaginative It is virtually the exact same book as the first twilight novel I could not believe how similar they were it was horrible I really wish it was published because not even a 12 year ld girl with a low iq could not the see merit of this trash and the lack of talent and imagination by the author I always thought twilight was silly and horrible but nothing could have prepared me for this abomination this was truly so horrible it shocked me and the whole reason I even read it was to snicker and to make fun of its awfulness let me digest it a little more if you want to hear i'll explain in more detail this steaming pile of shit to you and it's stink it's worse than many of you could imagine


message 19: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
I remember hearing about how it got leaked. Meyer threw a hissy fit and screamed like a little bitch. I was laughing when they did that to her. Does anyone know what she's doing now? Is she writing another book? God I hope not.


message 20: by Keair (new)

Keair Snyder | 22 comments Dan wrote: "I remember hearing about how it got leaked. Meyer threw a hissy fit and screamed like a little bitch. I was laughing when they did that to her. Does anyone know what she's doing now? Is she writing..."

The last thing I saw with her name on it was that movie The Host...or, as I like to call it, Twilight-the Alien Version. From the preview it looked like the same basic bullshit that was Twilight but I was glad that she had at least moved on to ruin someone else's genre. lol


message 21: by Benjamin (last edited Jun 02, 2014 04:40PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Benjamin (BinjaNInja) | 20 comments Keair wrote: "Dan wrote: "I remember hearing about how it got leaked. Meyer threw a hissy fit and screamed like a little bitch. I was laughing when they did that to her. Does anyone know what she's doing now? Is..."no I like aliens too she should just not pervert any kind of supernatural genre and just write simple teen romance or something that won't get compared to good horror writing or anything similar it's really frustrating as constant read to see her books get so popular see other far more talented writes get so little praise because they wrote to please adults instead of pre pubescent teens anyways fuck miss Meyer may she rot in hell with all kinds of pissed off creatures of the night and one other thing I have no problem with popular teen authors I loved harry potter and I think jk rowling is a great writer


message 22: by Keair (new)

Keair Snyder | 22 comments Benjamin wrote: "Keair wrote: "Dan wrote: "I remember hearing about how it got leaked. Meyer threw a hissy fit and screamed like a little bitch. I was laughing when they did that to her. Does anyone know what she's..."

As a reader and a writer I couldn't agree with you more. I may not be the next Anne Rice but at least my vampires do not sparkle, they behave like actual vampires, and I can construct a sentence without sounding as if I have a severe head trauma...yet she is sitting on millions and I had to self-publish because it's been all but impossible to break into the literary world. I have often ranted and raved about that. I am the same way with Nicholas Sparks, another wildly popular author who cannot write at all. I also agree with you about the fact that it isn't the young adult nature of her books that is the problem. I did not like Harry Potter personally because I was reading adult books by the time they came out but I did read the books to my baby sister and I can say that J.K. Rowling is an excellent writer. Like everyone here, I wish Stephanie would just stop butchering literature altogether. However, I am not as upset over her butchering aliens as I am about her destroying vampires. That is simply my personal thing. :)


message 23: by Dan, destroyer of vegan vampire sissies (last edited Jun 02, 2014 10:00PM) (new) - added it

Dan (dan2345) | 880 comments Mod
 photo lestat_reads_twilight_by_americangurrl16-d4zigy4.jpg


message 24: by Keair (new)

Keair Snyder | 22 comments Dan wrote: "

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lmao! I love it!


message 25: by Angela (new)

Angela | 56 comments Benjamin wrote: "ok so for the past few hours today I've been reading the fifth twilight book "midnight sun" it's a rough draft that was never published because someone leaked it to the internet it's about 260 pag..."

I too wish that Twilight 5 "Midnight Sun" would have been both finished and published. I remember well how Stephenie Meyer bemoaned and bewailed the leaking. She said because she was so violated by the leak it was impossible to finish the book. Intriguing, what must be in such a tome. I had to read it... Wow, Twilight 1 narrated by Edward this time...


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