The Science Behind the Temper Tantrum

[Phil]

A frisson of envy is what I feel when people use words like "frisson" and I'm thinking, "damn, why didn't I think of that?"

[Phil]

You were weren't silly; you were demonstrating irony.

[Félix]

A temper tantrum is what Skinner called an "extinction burst," a burst or ramp-up of activity that in the past has reliably produced the desired reinforcing consequence, but is no longer doing so. If given the reinforcer at the peak of said burst/tantrum, then that level of the behavior is readily reinforced. In this way, parents quite often inadvertently teach their children to yell and scream to get what they want.

[Susan]

You guys make me smile so. :)

Sometimes you do just have to let out your frustration, release some pressure, exhale for a moment to escape some pain. I know I do!

Little throws himself on the floor. He doesn't make noise and he is pretty elegant with his floor approach, more of a lean and slide than a body throw. He sometimes will do one foot stomp (which I accidentally taught him in a weak moment of trying to get boy dog to stop barking his brains out) and his newest thing is to say no and do a fake cry. I respond to these things by saying he will not get what he wants by that kind of behavior and try to say it with a straight face.

[Susan]

The quietly falling to the floor tantrum gets the same response from everyone who witnesses it for the first time. They all ask what he is doing and then say oh that is a tantrum with raised eyebrows. He turned into a lion today out of a silent fall.

I am sure we will get to the crying and screaming ones eventually.

When he was crying hard and getting upset over the gobby in his room, I did a similar rub on back and very calmly asked him if he could listen to me and then he would stop. I then asked him to tell me about why he was upset. We had to do this several times because he would work himself up but every time was a little less extreme.

[Scout]

My son had one temper tantrum, at the age of 2, and it was my fault. I let him ride on a little scooter in the store, and he thought it was his. Why not? Everything else I let him play with belonged to him. I told him no and had to pick him up and carry him out of the store, leaving my shopping cart behind. I never made that mistake again.